A/N: Thank you for the reviews (yeah, I'm talking to you, iJeedai and you anonymous review 'M' you guys made my night!) and the alerts! It was more than I expect, you made me a happy girl. :)

on a side note; Connor won't get his own point of view for at least another chapter or so if any of you were wondering about him. Paul has to deal with himself and things first before we can get to that guy. Also I'm sorry for any mistakes and I'm sure there are many but I'm not a professional writer lol!

Chapter updates will hopefully be once/twice a week, depending on my work schedule really.

THANKS FOR READING.

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Paul Walker: Lunch Break

There was food in front of me, but I wasn't eating it. All I could do was stare across the cafeteria at Connor and his group of friends. I had skipped the last three periods, sat out behind the portables and had myself a crisis, first being that I had obviously... I gag at the thought, imprinted. On a guy! On fucking Connor Wilks! What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm not gay. I'm pretty sure he isn't either by the way that short girl is snuggling up next to him...

Secondly! I couldn't Change. The point of skipping was so that I could go take a run and get out my jitters. Problem was I couldn't. Nothing came out, I just sat there on the damp ground thinking about Connor. Remembering when we use to play together at recces or after school. Connor always played too rough and ended up hurting someone, but the moment he did he would burst out into tears and say he was sorry over and over again. The older boys use to call him Crybaby Connor. Shit. I'm doing it again.

I force myself to peel the skin off my orange. I can ignore him, that guy. He doesn't mean anything to me. I'm not gay.

"S'up, my brother?" Jared plops down next to me with his lunch tied up in a plastic grocery bag, Kim settles next to him looking a bit pink in the cheeks. Ten to one I can tell you why they're late to lunch.

Fuck, ma's going to be pissed when she finds out I skipped.

"Paul?"

Quickly, I break apart the orange into two halves and shove one of the pieces into my mouth so I don't have to answer him. Don't really feel like talking right now.

"Hey, are you okay...?" I glare at Jared as I chew slowly, the orange is too sour and has seeds.

"'m fine." I mumble just to get him off my back. I can tell by the way he's looking at me that he knows it's not true. Thankfully Kim tugs on his sleeves, pulling him down so she can whisper something into his ear. I can't make it out and I'm starting to become paranoid that she's saying something about me. I glare down at my barely touched lunch and then, even though I told myself I wouldn't, I shoot a glance across the room towards Connor and his table of friends.

His girlfriend is gone, along with the other girl who was with them, now it's just Connor and two other guys. One is Bear Tuetsy and the other I don't know but I've seen him around. They're just talking. They're so normal. The one guy says something and Bear laughs, Connor's face breaks out into a grin and he punches the other guy in the shoulder and I desperately wish I could read lips.

And then I wanna throttle myself for doing it. Again! Watching him, thinking about him.

I can feel eyes one me. I push my gaze to this side and see Jared and Kim watching me. Jared's brows are knitted together like he's cares or something, Kim looks like she knows what's going on. She doesn't. She doesn't know what's happening, how does she even think she can?

"What?" the word comes out a growl.

"Seriously Paul, are you-"

"Shut up!" I snap. Finally feeling the rage, it feels good, it makes me shake.

I can see Jared's mouth start to form more words but I don't let him get far enough. I snatch up my lunch and abruptly stand from the lunch table. My chair falls backwards to the floor with a loud bang, half the room stops and looks at me. My eye automatically find Connor's. He's looking at me. My heart jumps in my chest and I growl. I need to go.

I rush out of the cafeteria, throwing my lunch into the trash as I pass out the door. My falling footsteps echo in the empty hallways of the school as I race for the backdoor that leads to the field. My head pounds, I can't hear over the rushing in my ears, every part of me is trembling for the need to burst out of this skin. I only make it half way across the field before I explode. It's such a relief.

A few bounds and I'm jumping over the wire gate fence and in to the trees.

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Paul Walker: Home

Ma was pissed. Not just from the call from the attendance office but mostly because I didn't come home until a few minutes ago. I missed dinner at Sam's, or they missed me. I didn't go on purpose. Apparently that worried them, bet Jared and Kim had something to do with it. Fucking idiots need to mind they're own business. I couldn't even stay a Wolf that long, had to hide out like a normal person just so they couldn't hear my thoughts and there was no way I couldn't not think about Connor. It made me so mad. Why did my imprint have to be a guy?

The Pack would have a field day with this one I'm sure. Quill imprinted on a kid and now Paul imprinted on a dude. Isn't that fucking hilarious? Shit no. Fuck them.

"Paul...?" Ma knocked on my door and pushed it open a split second later. I glared at her for entering without asking, she glared right back with her hands across over her chest, looking at me with more authority than Sam did when he gave an order.

"Sam wants you over, he said Emily saved you left overs."

My stomach growled at word of left overs. I really hadn't eaten all day but I didn't want to go over there because I knew one way or another they're were going to rip my secret out of me.

Ma sighed, probably able to see my it on my face as she came over to sit on my bed next to me. She touched the back of my neck with her cool hands and pulled me into a hug. I went willing, she was so small against me. I could wrap her up in my arms so easily.

"I love you, kiddo." She whispered into my ear.

"No matter what. Whatever you're going through right now. It'll get better. It always does."

How does she know what to say?

"Now go take a shower, you smell like pig pit."

I had to laugh at that. Here I was on the verge of complete melt down and she's telling me I stink. I did feel better though now. Ma smiling at me as she patted my cheek and pushed off my bed.

"Don't forget to take back the tupperware that Emily sent last time."

Guess I'm going to Sam's after all.

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As I was walked my way down to their house, I tried to think of all the ways I could deal with this problem. I had already decided to ignore it, the Pack will find out more sooner than later. It was hard to hide anything from each other. They won't understand it though! Why can't I have a normal imprint, like Emily or Kim? Hell, I'd even take the Quill's kid over Connor, at least she was a fucking girl. Fate fucked me over. Again.

Fuck my life.

Double fuck, I forgot Ems tupperware.

Looking up at the dark sky I feel like I've been damned. There wasn't even any stars, the cloud cover so thick it even hid the brightness of a full moon The air was still, the forest surrounding me calm, not yet being bothered by the storm about to be blown in from the ocean. It'll probably hit in the early morning and I'll walking to school in the rain. Wonder if Connor has a car...

As soon as he enters my mind I force him out. Can't. Won't think about that guy. Got to keep busy, think of something else. I pick up my pace and start to run. I recite my favorite Styx song in my head like it's a holy mantra. It's the first thing that popped into my head after him so I just went with it.

Where did that good mood ma gave me go?

I got all the way to Sam's the second way through the lyrics and I was actually happy with myself that I didn't once think about Connor. And then I realized that I just thought about Connor when I thought that I didn't think about him and I cursed and started all over again as I walked up to their porch. The outside light was on, I know at least Emily's waiting for me and I know for a fact that Sam, Jared, Jacob, and Collin were out on patrol duty tonight so I thank God for small mercies. Don't think I could handle the whole Pack on me right now.

I take a deep breath, feeling more nervous than I should as I let myself in. Why the fuck should I feel like a big ball nerves? I'm starting to hate myself lately. Fuck Connor. He did this to me.

Letting it go I rub my feet off on the rug by the door, knowing how Emily gets about dirty 'Sasquatch feet' marking up her just mopped wooden floors. In the other room I can hear the television running, must be something funny because I hear Embry's ridiculous girl giggle, Emily's soft chuffle and mumbling voice that's most likely Brady's. I can't decide if I should go join them or just leave. The later sounded more appealing but I'm already here and noticed that on the table there's a big bowl of home made chili and three slices of thick yellow cornbread on a plate next to a tall empty glass and a spoon.

My stomach wins out and I take a seat as quietly as I can. I know it doesn't matter, Embry and Brady would have known the moment I stepped on to the property that I was here. They're smart to give me space.

The chili has gone cold, but it still taste like the best thing ever. I throw one piece of cornbread into the bowl and mash it up and take a huge bit of the another one. It's so soft and moist I can't help but moan. Emily's the best. I bet Connor would love this too.

Fuck... I did it again.

I grab the empty glass and get up towards the fridge. I fill it to the top with milk then down half of it in one pull before I fill it right back up again. Is it really impossible to not think about that guy for even ten minutes?

I'm just about to close the fridge when Emily slips through the doorway, her bare feet softly padding across the hardwood floors. I move back to my seat, I know she's going to say something to me and it'll probably piss me off. I can't get pissed with Emily though. Sam would find out and he would rip out my guts and make me eat them. So the most I can do is focus on the food in front of me and just...try not to.

The chair on the opposite side of me scratches against the floor as she pulls it out and takes a seat. I tell myself 'don'tlookupdon'tlookup' but then there's more scratching. This time it's a glass plate sliding across the table, on it is a slice of berry pie. It looks like blackberry. My favorite.

"Thanks," I finally get out, looking at her beautifully scared face. She's being so fucking nice to me, I know it's a just a bribing tool but...

"Looks like you hard day, Paul." She laces her fingers together and rests her chin on them.

"Something like that," I look away

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Nope." It comes out a grunt and I shove a spoonful of chili into my mouth.

She stays silent for awhile and I'm okay with that, I'm more than okay with that. I hope she stays quite until she gets bored and goes back into the living room to watch whatever it is they were watching. Thinking along those lines though I know if it's not Emily trying to make me talk then it's gonna be Sam beating it out of me.

"Is it something to do with school?" She tries. Great, she's gonna start guessing.

"No."

"Something at home?"

"No."

"Are you having...girl problems?" She skirts around it I can't help but huff at the ridiculousness.

"I wish..." Shit, I didn't mean to say that out loud. My eyes snap from my bowl to her face. Her own eyes are wide and her mouth is parted just slightly.

"So, it's an imprinting problem you're having?" She lowers her voice like it's a secret. I stay silent.

"Do you...want one?" She asks softly, looking at me like I'm some sort of thing to be pitied because I don't have what she and Sam share. I can't say anything.

"Paul," she presses.

The metal of the spoon clangs against the side of the blow as it drops from my hand. The sudden wave rage pulses through, why does she keep pushing me? Why does she have to look at me like that? It's none of her business.

"Paul..."

"I already have one!" I snap, I can't hold it in.

Her eyes are as wide as saucers as she stares at me in shock. I growl under my breath and push away from the table.

"Wait!" She hurries to stand with me, "please, sit down. Finish dinner at least."

There's a stare down across the table between us. It seems like forever but eventually I feel myself slumping back down into the chair. Emily slowly sits into her own seat. I notice the the tv in the next room is no longer playing as loud as it once was and I know the other two are trying to ease drop.

Reluctantly, I pick back up my spoon and take a few bites on my cold chili. It doesn't taste as good as it did before.

"Who is she?"

Of coarse she asks me that, it takes me awhile to think of something to say in return but nothing sounds good in my head so I just come out and say it as bluntly as I can.

"He's not a girl."

Emily's face is going to get stuck like one of these times, she doesn't say anything at least and I finish a whole cornbread slice in only three bites.

I know she doesn't know how to deal with this, I can tell by her uneasy shifting. She can't stay in her chair.

"Well..." She seems to have found her voice but apparently forgot the rest of her words because she doesn't say anything more. I still don't have anything to say on the matter. I just finish eating, scraping the bottom on the bowl, trying to get the last chew chunks of chili. I haven't even touched the pie, it just doesn't really look good and I'm even full but I can go home and dig around in the cupboards for another snack. I got to do my homework too, shit! Almost forgot about that. I don't even remember what pages in the book we were suppose to do for math.

"It's still the same." It comes out of nowhere.

"What?"

"It doesn't matter if you imprinted on a girl, or a guy or a kid."

I roll my eyes. What does she know?

"Thanks for the food, Em." I'm done here, I don't need this shit on top of the shit I'm already in. I get up to leave and again she follows me.

"You can't ignore this, Paul!"

Yes, I can. Watch me walk out the door and ignore everything.

"You can't keep a love like that bottled up, it'll-"

My control crumbles in me again at the mention of love, I'm out of control as I spin around on my heel. Emily's tiny form stumbles back and stares up at me with determined eyes but she doesn't move as I stalk close, towering over her with my full height and bulk.

"I do not. Love. That guy." I hiss at her and she flinches but doesn't move back. In the corner of my eye I can see Embry and Brady lurking in the doorway like they're getting ready to pull me away at any chance.

"It'll make you sick." She whispers through her clenched teeth. She's mad too.

"I'm fine!" I roar and turn away, "just leave me the fuck alone!"

I'm out of there like a bolt. I should have left at the moment she started asking questions. Now everybody will know what's wrong with me by sun up.

Fucking Connor Wilks ruined my life.

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