Kyle awoke before his alarm clock sounded; he stared up at his ceiling blankly, twisted up in his sheets from a night of fitful sleep. His mind had been running a million miles a minute, and his inner debate was far from finished. He kept thinking about last night and the things left unsaid.

His alarm clock whined to life, just as his mother shouted shrilly up the stairs at him.

"Kyle! Up, up, up! Breakfast is ready!"

"I'll be right down!" He called out, still comfortably in bed, and rolled over. Only he was unfortunate enough to have a mother who insisted he wake up early during the summer. She claimed it was so he wouldn't get out of his school routine, he was sure it was because she enjoyed controlling as much of his life as she possibly could. He sighed and kicked off his sheets, frustrated with the day already. There was no use avoiding the inevitable.

He slid his feet into very vibrant, very fluffy, very pink bunny slippers. They had been a gag gift from Stan on his last birthday. Kyle wouldn't admit it aloud, but he loved them. Not just because they were from Stan mind you, but the whole style was cute, and they kept his toes warm. He had poor circulation in his feet, and they were constantly cold, especially in the mornings upon waking up. He wiggled his toes, smiling as the bunny ears flopped.

"Kyle!" Sheila Broflovski was not one to be kept waiting.

'Shit' He thought. "Coming!"

Kyle took the stairs two at a time, mop-top of red curls bouncing wildly, and slid into the kitchen. His mother gave him a disapproving look at his appearance. He was still in his bed-shirt and Terrance & Phillip pajama bottoms; his hair was still uncombed and tussled from sleep, the slippers clashed loudly. She shook her head and flopped a stack of pancakes in front of him as he sat himself in a chair.

"Why aren't you dressed yet?" She nagged, as he dumped syrup all over the pancakes.

"Sorry mom," He answered automatically. No point in trying to explain or argue with her, she wouldn't hear it. "Thank you for breakfast."

She nodded her head, as if to say, "That's right, you had better be grateful." her large beehive hairstyle bouncing slightly. She turned back to the kitchen archway and shrieked towards the stairs. "Ike! Breakfast!" The sudden volume increase caused Kyle to jump and slop syrup across his cheek.

"Ah, there's my little bubulah, all dressed and ready for the day." Kyle rolled his eyes at his pancakes as his 11-year-old brother joined him at the table.

Ike chattered away while Kyle did his best to be very interested in his food. Just like Kyle, Ike had a very high IQ; he had originally been put into school at a young age. But had been constantly picked on for being advanced. So Ike finally got his way and was in his proper year at school, even though the work was too easy for him, he didn't mind. All his friends were his age and he didn't get picked on as much.

After breakfast Kyle cleaned up as fast as he could before disappearing back into his room, as was the plan. He wanted to spend the day on the computer, reading, and having alone time. Kenny and Stan both had to work that day and Kyle would be damned if he would hang out with Cartman all alone. He got dressed, otherwise his mother would bitch. Jeans, a black long sleeved shirt, with a t-shirt over the top, and back to the bunny slippers. He made up his bed before flopping down onto it, reaching up onto his desk for a book to read, his hand sliding across the familiar leather of the photo album. He pulled the album over and just held it, feeling the weight of it, and the weight surrounding his heart.

Kyle had come to terms with how he felt in the beginning of his senior year. He was in love, or at least it was the closest thing to love he had ever felt, with his lifelong best friend.

Coming from a small, conservative, and very religious town, and a devout Jewish family had not made his realization easy.

He knew he started realizing his affections for Stan ran deeper than friendship around the time he was eleven or twelve. It was thrilling, terrifying, and so wrong. So against everything he was taught to believe, everything that was acceptable. And Stan. Stan…. his best friend in the whole world, the one person he could always confide in, he couldn't tell him. He was so certain he'd lose his friend forever.

Stan liked Wendy; he always had and insisted he always would. Kyle knew that if he had told him, no…it was best that he hid it. So he had denied a core piece of himself, buried it so deep down that at times he would almost forget. But it was like a rock in the pit of his stomach, weighing him down.

For six years he talked girls with his friends, even dated some. But he never really committed. When asked if he would ever have a serious girlfriend, he'd shrug it off and explain it away with a. "I don't want to be trapped. What if we do something stupid and I won't be able to go to college?" It sounded like a grown up decision, but it was a cover up. Another lie to pile on top of a growing mountain of problems.

Stan was still by his side, as his friend. Kyle tried to convince himself into thinking it was fine. He sat up on his bed and tossed the album aside and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, rubbing. He pushed those thoughts away.

He spent the rest of the day busying himself around the house, killing time on the computer, reading. But, over and again his mind would return to thoughts of Stan, a knot growing in his stomach. Things were going to change.

Dinner was a silent affair. Gerald, Kyle's father, was working on a case so he was staying late at the office. Ike was spending the night at a friend's house. It was just Kyle and his mother-beast.

"What's wrong Kyle, you've been unusually quiet all day. And much too helpful to be normal." Sheila said, placing a forkful of mashed potatoes in her mouth.

"Just thinking, mom" He stared at his plate and pushed his peas around. "College and stuff. My friends."

"Don't worry bubby, college won't change anything. Those boys will always be you friends. Nothing will change." She wagged her fork at him and smiled.
Kyle narrowed his eyes slightly at his plate. 'That's what everyone has been saying.' He thought bitterly. 'But college does change things, growing up changes things.'

"I'm not very hungry, mom. Maybe I'm coming down with something." He said excusing himself from the table. "I think I'm going to go to bed."

He said goodnight and made his way up to his bedroom. Everything was going to change. He knew it. They were all going to move to different towns, lose touch. He flopped back onto his bed, arms outstretched. Nothing would ever be the same. Stan wouldn't be a few blocks away anymore. He couldn't fool himself into thinking everything was fine anymore. Nothing was fine anymore. The knot in his stomach tightened.


A few days passed, the boys had hung out a couple of times, Kyle unable to fight the growing urgency that was screaming at him from the back of the mind. 'You've got to tell him, you can't hide it any longer.'

Kyle spent the morning in his pajamas; his parents were off to Denver to do some bulk shopping and have a day together, so it was just his little brother and him. Still left to watch over him, even though Ike was perfectly capable of looking after himself by this time. He had made plans to hang out with Stan that day, and after swearing Ike to secrecy upon pain of noogies and Indian burns, Ike agreed not to tell their parents that Stan left him alone.

The entire time he was in his room he spent it arguing with himself on whether or not he should just tell Stan, come hell or high-water. Kyle had a good argument for both sides. But he knew he was just making up excuses so he could wuss out for another day.

"Maybe I should just tell him now. Quick and simple." He said aloud to no one, tugging off his pajama bottoms over his slippers.

"Wait, no…that wouldn't go over well. Stan can't take news suddenly. Shit." He paced around his room some more, thinking it over, bunny slippers flopping.

"I'll ease him into it while we're hanging out. Drop some hints." He padded over to his closet and pulled out a light hoodie, tugging it on.

"Yeah, that would be best." He pulled on his favorite hat and leaned back against the wall.

"What if he doesn't accept what I have to tell him?" He wondered aloud. 'What if he hates me for it.' The thought twisted up his insides and he closed his eyes. No, Stan was his best friend.

"He could never hate me." He started making his way out of the room when another thought jolted through him to his toes. 'But…what if he does accept. What if he's even willing to try…'

He leaned heavily against his desk, accidentally knocking the photo album to the floor. The picture of he and Stan slid out.

Kyle bent down to pick it up, his stomach giving an involuntary flip. Just looking at a picture of Stan made him feel a bit giddy. He looked at the picture for a while, Stan smiling up at him from behind the glossy sheen. 'I've got to tell him.' The rational side of his brain switched off.

"I've got to tell him now." Kyle said decisively, dropping the photo on his bed, running out of the room at full speed. He practically levitated down the stairs and made it halfway out of the door when Ike called out to him from the couch.

"Uh…Kyle? Where are you going?" The Canadian born kid blinked his brown eyes at his brother, confused. Kyle had told him he wasn't going over to Stan's house until after noon. It was barely eleven.

"Not right now Ike." Kyle said and walked out the door.

"Kyle, wait! " Ike scrambled off the couch and hurried after his brother.

"Not now! I gotta see Stan."
"But Kyle…"

"No Ike. Stan." Kyle pointed down the street.

"Yeah but.."
"What?" Kyle snapped a bit aggravated.

"You're going dressed like that?" Ike pointed out.

Kyle stopped in his tracks and really looked at himself. Green hat, black hoodie, no shirt, boxer shorts and the pink bunny slipper; he had been so preoccupied with his thoughts that he hadn't gotten properly dressed. Heat creeped up his face as he turned around and marched quickly back into the house. Ike at his heels, laughing like a hyena.

"Shut up." Kyle mumbled and went to get dressed. He was grateful though, he probably would have made a fool out of himself and blown the whole thing sky high.

He trumped down the stairs, fully dressed, when the phone rang. 'Please don't let it be my parents' Kyle prayed.

"Kyle, it's Stan!" Ike shouted from the kitchen, leaving the phone on the table before going back to watching television.

Kyle rushed to the phone and whipped it up off the table.
"Hey Stan, sup? I was just about to head over."

"Sorry dude, I've got to cancel. My dad called me in to work, they need some help in the labs today."
Kyle was silent for a while. "I guess it can't be helped huh?"

"We'll do something awesome tomorrow, ok?" Stan promised.

"Sure thing dude, I have to watch my stupid brother today anyway. Now at least I won't get in trouble with the mom-ster."

Stan laughed, a sound that caused things to tighten in Kyle's abdomen.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow then." Kyle stammered out.

"Sure thing. See you then." Stan agreed and they hung up simultaneously.

Kyle walked, crestfallen into the living room and slumped down onto the couch next to Ike.

"I'm not stupid." His brother pouted as he changed the channels.

"'Course not squirt." Kyle said and ruffled Ike's hair. 'I'll tell Stan tomorrow.' Kyle thought.

*a/n*

Another chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it. I want to thank WxTxR for the reviews. Very encouraging, and definitely made me want to put my heart into this fic, so I hope I don't disappoint. 3