Thanks again for the reviews! Reviews keep me going. :D Hope you guys enjoy this one too!

Oh, and LukaFan, unfortunately, I will not be watching it. Got places to be on Saturday T_T; Well, that and I didn't even know about it to begin with, still a new fan to the Vocaloid fandom. XD It's kinda funny, cuz for the longest time, I knew of Vocaloids, but all I had in my collection was Double Lariat and Melt... I'm not sure what happened, but that's alright, cuz I'm enjoying myself. XD

DISCLAIMER: Nope, still do not own anything related to Vocaloids.

Updated 7/1/11: Edited to reflect correct Morse code for Luka's tapping. Thank you to everyone for the correction!


Title: Stockpile

Summary: She was a growing girl, and it was only natural to have an interest in those kinds of materials... but this was just excessive.


Luka sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Gumi."

"Y-Yes, Luka-sensei?" The green-haired girl fidgeted uncomfortably.

"It's not like I don't understand, mind you. You're a growing girl, and it's only natural to have an interest in such things."

Gumi squirmed.

"But that said..." Luka swept her arm to gesture in exasperation. "Isn't this a little much?"

Both girls looked around. Throughout the room stood several towers of various media; magazines piled atop magazines, DVDs stacked on other DVDs, games upon games, manga heaped on manga...

All of it porn.

One would have easily thought that they were at an adult section of a store, or perhaps a porn convention, but this was not so.

In fact, they happened to be sitting together in Gumi's room.

This had all started with a bit of cleaning. The Vocaloid house had been steadily falling into disarray, and Luka had taken it upon herself to tidy the place up. Mostly, she'd just done cleaning around the shared parts of the house, like the living room, the kitchen, the dining room, and the bathrooms, but she'd also felt she should at least somewhat clean up some of the rooms. Thankfully, she didn't need to worry about too many. Gakupo took pretty good care of his room, and Kaito not only cleaned up his own, but also Meiko's (and when it came to her and Lily, Luka welcomed all the help she could get). The Kagamine twins also kept their room neat and tidy as well, though she'd heard that had not always been so.

Apparently, they used to be just as messy as Lily and Meiko, but there had been an unfortunate incident several months before Luka's arrival in the Vocaloid household. The Kagamine twins turned pale just at the mere mention of this incident, and apparently the only one who really knew anything was Miku, since Kaito and Meiko had been busy during the ordeal. From the few details she had gleaned, it had involved Rin's underwear on Len's head, several embarrassing ordeals in the day involving crossdressing, numerous nosebleeds, an exploding closet, and the tragic demise of three rubber ducks.

Frankly, this made absolutely no sense to Luka, but there were no more details to be found. Either way, one of the results was that the Kagamine twins thereafter kept their room tidy.

That left a total of four rooms. Luka always kept her room clean out of habit, Miku's had been in a state of mild disarray that was quickly fixed (and had also explained the disappearance of a few of Luka's nightshirts and, blush-worthy enough, several pairs of her underwear...), and Lily's was just a perpetual disaster zone that no one bothered touching to begin with.

Basically, the housekeeping version of an exercise in futility.

That had left Gumi's room. At first glance, it was in a state of mild disarray much like Miku's, perhaps slightly worse. Then, while putting away a few of Gumi's anime DVDs in their appropriate place on the bookshelf, the carelessly sealed door to a hidden closet behind said bookshelf had accidentally slid open and a screaming Luka had been promptly buried beneath an avalanche of porn. It was in that state that Gumi found her room and, in a panic, had dug out Luka.

And that was how they found themselves in their current situation.

Luka was perched on the edge of the bed, with an extremely embarrassed Gumi sitting on her knees before her. Speaking of the bed, beneath the mattress Luka had also found enough porn to last an all-boys' school worth of adolescent boys up until college at least. She had not bothered with moving any of that, but there had been no choice with all the materials she had been previously buried beneath. She sighed, glancing wearily over at Gumi's laptop and external hard drive.

Morbidly curious, she sighed, "Do I dare ask how many gigs you have?"

Gumi poked her fingers together, her head lowered, mumbling out an answer. Luka blinked. She could not possibly have heard right.

"...How many?"

"Er... a-almost fifty gigs..."

Luka stared down at her in disbelief. Gumi chewed her lower lip, red with embarrassment. Sighing, the pink-haired woman looked up at the ceiling.

"Gumi... I'm not your parent, so I really don't have any right to say this... But I have to say that you are a porn addict."

"S-Sorta... yeah..." she admitted quietly.

Luka sighed again, shaking her head. Oh well, nothing to be done about it. At least now she knew what all of Gumi's money was spent on. Well, she thought, eyeing the various anime and game figurines and posters around the room, part of where it went to, anyway.

With a resigned shrug, she said, "Well... let's get this put away."

Gumi's head shot up as she looked at her confusedly. "Huh? You're... You're not mad? Or disgusted?"

Luka blinked down at her. "Of course not, why would I be?"

"Well... I uh..." Gumi looked around at her collection before looking back up. "Isn't this... strange?"

"Not really," Luka replied with a shrug. She scratched her cheek lightly, smiling with a bit of embarrassment. "I mean... yes, it's a lot, but like I said, you're a growing girl, and interest in these kinds of materials is only natural." Tucking a few strands of pink hair behind her ear, she continued, "I'm just shocked at the quantity, that's all."

"But... aren't some of my fetishes a little strange?" Gumi persisted worriedly. She bit her lower lip as soon as she was finished, dreading the answer.

"Well..."

Luka thought over a few of the images in the magazines, some of which had been open when she picked them off the floor or off her face. It could have just been sheer dumb luck, but among others, Luka had noted Gumi had a massive fetish for busty, pink-haired women, especially when they were being dominated by aggressive teal or green-haired girls... and these images quite often included whips, chains, handcuffs, candles... basically, the whole nine yards. She'd never admit to it out loud but... well... they were kind of hot... And maybe it was just because of the images, but it wasn't hard at all to let her imagination wander when it came to those...

She became aware of Gumi's curious stare. Reddening, Luka coughed and quickly regained her composure, scowling through her blush as she replied, "No, not especially."

"Really?" Gumi asked, her eyes daring to hope.

Luka shrugged helplessly with a resigned smile. "We like what we like."

The younger girl broke into a bright smile and Luka smiled with weary affection. Shaking her head lightly, she said, "Well, let's go ahead and get this all put away and then-"

A knock sounded at the door, which had been closed the whole time. "Yo, Gumi, you in there?" they heard Lily's voice. "I'm coming in-"

"DON'T OPEN IT!" two voices chorused in panic.

Too late. Everything afterward seemed to happen in slow motion. The doorknob lightly tapped a teetering pile of magazines, which promptly decided to topple over, starting a chain reaction that proceeded to collapse all of Luka's hard work and bury the two occupants of the room under a second avalanche of porn. The door now more or less fully open, Lily winced at the destruction she had unwittingly wrought.

"Oh man... Sorry about that," she said, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. Apologetically, she began to try to unearth the two girls, but then her eye caught sight of something that interested her.

"Eh? What's this?" She reached for the magazine, soon revealing itself to be a rather hardcore S&M magazine. Her eyes widened as she leafed through the pages, completely speechless and turning redder by the second. "Whoa... This..."

Flip.

"This is..."

Flip. Stare. Flip.

"This is unholy..."

It was a trickle of drool down the corner of her mouth that brought her back to reality. Hurriedly wiping it away, she announced in an authoritative voice, "Gumi, I am shocked and appalled that you have such materials in your possession. You disappoint me, young lady. For the sake of the purity of your eyes and your mind, I will have to confiscate this... this unwholesome book..." She picked out another from the enormous pile, her eyes glinting with perverted glee. "And this one too... and this... and this... ooh, and this one... and-"

Her attempt at picking out another was interrupted as a hand shot out from beneath the pile to seize her wrist in a bone-crushing death grip. Lily shrieked in fright, and tried to retreat but the grip was far too strong.

"Ah! W-W-Wait! Please have mercy, Luka-sama! I- Ah, ah, ah!"

She whimpered pathetically as Luka's hand squeezed without mercy.

"I-It's for the good of the children!" she reasoned, her voice filled with desperate bargaining. "S-Surely you believe in- Ow, ow! Th-Th-This really hurts, Luka! Ow! Oh c'mon! You'd seriously rather let her have it than me?"

The grip hesitated, taking a moment to consider what Lily had just said. After a moment's thought, the grip went back to nearly crushing her wrist, adding a twist for good measure.

"A-Ah! Dammit, Luka, I- O-Okay! I'll put the porn down! Just please let go! I can't feel my hand anymore!"

"What's this about porn?"

Lily turned to face the owner of the voice, seeing Meiko coming close enough to look around the corner into Gumi's room. Meiko's eyes widened.

"Holy..."

Both pairs of eyes suddenly took notice of one of the fingers on Lily's wrist tapping something out: three short taps, three long taps, then three short taps. They blinked. The teal-nail polished finger tapped it out again, seemingly impatient. The women looked at each other, blinking and sharing the same uncomprehending look as they shook their heads and shrugged.

Giving up with what looked like the hand version of a sigh of defeat, the hand let go of Lily's wrist and beckoned them closer. As one, they leaned closer to the pile. Not satisfied, the hand beckoned them even closer. They obliged and leaned so that their faces were almost touching the mountain of porn.

From within, a voice thundered with enough force to blow them backwards, "GET US OUT OF HERE!"

The two winced as they rubbed their heads, having hit the floor with an unpleasant amount of force, and trying to calm down their startled hearts.

"You'd think it'd kill her to ask us nicely for once..." Lily grumbled. "OW!"

No sooner had the words left her mouth than a DVD case smacked painfully into her head, courtesy of a displeased hand that had overheard.


The relief effort took a long time and ended up involving all of the Vocaloids, most of who had wandered by curiously after hearing the suspiciously loud crash of several porn towers collapsing. But at last, several hours later, the two were rescued and the mess cleaned up. And so, Gumi's room actually looked presentable, Lily's wrist was spared any further abuse from vicious death grips, and the Vocaloids all managed to get on with the rest of the day in relative peace.

This would have been the end were it not for the fact that, because the ordeal had involved the whole household, Gumi's porn library became common knowledge in the Vocaloid house...


Luka sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Gumi."

"Y-Yes, Luka-sensei?" The green-haired girl fidgeted uncomfortably.

Looking up at her with a pained expression, Luka asked, "A porn rental service? Really?"

"I didn't mean for it to get like this!" Gumi whined defensively. "Everyone suddenly wanted to borrow my stuff, and I thought if I charged, I'd get them to back off! But... well..." She deflated, poking her index fingers together.

Luka hung her head, sighing in defeat. Whether it was from necessity or just her jumping at an opportunity, Gumi had organized her rental service into a very smoothly run one-girl operation. Gumi's bookshelf had been pushed aside permanently to allow easier access to her hidden closet (and it really did seem more than a little silly to hide the goods now, seeing how they all knew about it now). Luka looked up at the girl as she scratched the back of her head with embarrassment.

"I assume you keep track of your um... rentals?"

Gumi nodded. Retrieving her laptop, she flipped it open and, once she had found the appropriate document, presented it to Luka, displaying a spreadsheet of sorts detailing all available stock, along with what was already being rented out and to whom, and details on the quality of the item in question when it was loaned out.

(At Luka's question concerning that, Gumi replied, "I may be loaning it out, but it's still my stuff and I want everything to return to me in good quality. Plus, I charge extra for any wear and tear that occurs while it's rented out." Frankly, Luka found it exasperatingly amusing that she already had such policies in place.)

Skimming the list, she saw that everyone was borrowing from Gumi.

"Er... Rin and Len are borrowing from you too?" Luka asked with no small amount of surprise.

"Y-Yeah... I was pretty surprised too but... well, they pay well... and they always return everything in good condition..."

Never underestimate the business mindset... Luka sighed mentally.

Well, Luka reasoned, noting too that some of the regular visitors to the house were also renting, they were all growing kids... (and in the case of the older members, they were still kids mentally at least) It really couldn't be helped, and besides, this was probably a lot better than some alternatives she could think of. She skimmed the list again. Her cheeks turned a light pink when she saw that Miku was not only one of Gumi's best customers, but had also been tearing through Gumi's collection involving busty pink-haired women... especially the ones featuring aggressive teal-haired girls. Luka coughed lightly, averting her eyes.

"Well... it at least seems your business venture is running smoothly," Luka said, smiling awkwardly.

Gumi laughed nervously. "Well... like I said, I didn't really mean for it to get like this... not that I'm complaining though, it helps support my other hobbies..."

Luka chuckled. Her eyes returned to the list of items in stock, smiling as she shook her head in resignation. At least they both could rest assured that, in the highly unlikely case that Gumi got fired from being a Vocaloid, she had a lucrative business already ready and waiting for her. Her smile slowly faded into contemplation as she skimmed a few of the items on the list... It looked like Miku only borrowed the mangas one or two at a time, and given how large Gumi's collection was when it came to pink-haired women with teal or green-haired girls (or both, in some cases), there were always many of them in stock...

Luka's face did a good imitation of her hair, a stupid, persistent thought nagging at her head as she fidgeted, her eyes fixed on what appeared to be the first in a series involving such characters.

Gumi looked up at her curiously. She was about to ask what was the matter until, to her surprise, Luka began to take out her wallet.

Refusing to meet her eyes, Luka asked with obvious embarrassment, "Er, h-how much to rent a manga?"


Fin


As you can probably guess, I had maybe a little too much fun with this one. XD As to whether or not the kind of materials that Gumi has actually exist, let's just say I'm pretty sure it's out there. XP

AFAIK, what Luka was tapping out on Lily's wrist is Morse code for SOS. I admit I didn't really do any research on it, and I heard it a long time ago, so lemme know if it's inaccurate. ^_^;

I thought I'd throw a little bit of Luka reciprocating a bit. I know I've had Luka addressing the others comfortably by first name except for Miku, but I like to think of it as Luka trying to keep her at arm's length. XD Anyways, if you've made it this far, please leave a review and lemme know what you think. :D 'Til next time! ^_^v