A/N: People! I am SO sorry that i wasn't able to upload for such a long time. I have been really busy with school work, and i was really busy watching this thing called 'One Litre Of Tears'. It's about this 15 year old Japanese girl who is diagnosed with Spinocerebeller ataxia. It's a terrible disease where part of the brain is damaged. Eventually, this disease will cause her to not be able to walk when she wants to, speak when she wants to, swallow when she wants to etc. The series is based on the true story. Throughout her painful experience, she kept a diary until the day she could no longer hold a pen. I' m telling you all of this now... there has not been one episode, NOT ONE, where i did not cry. It was so sad. I suggest you all watch it. There's like 11 episodes and then there's a special... Anyway, im REALLY sorry for not updating! Review please!

Chapter 5 – part of the story.

"Your really helping me..."

He gently lifted his hand, and wiped away the tear marks on my face. " Now off you go to your next lesson, sweetheart"

"Thanks again. I love you, Oji-san" he smiled at me, wrote me a note, ruffled my hair and ushered me out.

I took my time, wandering slowly through the abandoned corridors. I needed time to collect myself. No need to worry anybody. I reached my class and knocked on the door, entering.

"Thank you for finally joining us, Kurosaki-san." The teacher shot me a dirty look. I just gave her the note and went to sit at the back next to Grimmjow. If anybody in the class looked at me now, they wouldn't have thought that something was wrong. But Grimmjow knew me better than i knew myself. So, obviously, he noticed that something was likely amiss.

"Ichi! What happened to you?" His eyes overflowed with worry. This confirmed for me that i had to tell everyone about me. I knew it was time. After all, it would have happened sooner or later. And i trusted all of them completely. Ignoring his question, i turned to smile at him sadly.

"Grimm, i need to talk to you and the guys about something important... Later" Grimmjow looked deep into my eyes, searching for the answer. He searched my soul, warming me to my very core. I've never felt like this. Not with Renji, definitely not with Kenpatchi. What on earth was it? I was broken out of my thoughts when Grimmjow nudged me.

"Time to go, champ" i nodded, before following him outside. The hallways filled with the normal hubbub. People laughing, talking, singing, screaming. Having fun... i wish it was as easy as that for me. But you shouldn't depend on wishes. After all, they don't come true. I had to learn that the hard way. Grimmjow and i approached the table

"Guys, do you mind if we eat on the roof today? Ichigo has something to tell us" Nnoitra and Tesla stopped there incisive bickering, and looked at me. Starrk silently berated what to do. Ulquirra nodded and stood up, leading the way. Grimmjow and i trailed behind, silently walking. His presence calmed me down to an extent, but that didn't stop negative thoughts from swimming in my head. When they found out the truth, would the leave me? Would they think that i was ill? I mean, yeah, i know i need help, but i am by no means mentally unstable. I just wish my life wasn't so messed up. Then maybe, just maybe, i'd be able to live the normal life of a teenaged girl...

We climbed the long flight of stairs, and i realised that i had moved closer to Grimmjow unconsciously. When we got to the roof, i walked to the center and sat down. Grimmjow sat right next to me, Tesla on the other side. Ulquirra took the seat in front of me, and Starrk gently layed his head on my lap. I ran my hand though his brown locks and he sighed.

"You're like the sister I've always wanted..." my eyes softened and watered.

"And you're like the brother I've always needed. All of you" a tear slowly trickled out of my eyes, travelling the length of my chin and falling onto Starrk's cheek. He opened his eyes, and rested his hand on my face.

"Please don't cry, ichi" everyone started talking at once, making quite a lot of sound.

"I don't like it when you cry" Nnoitra chided.

"Yeah! Smile, ichi"

"You pieces of trash, let her speak" All of the loud hubbub was becoming unsettling.

"W-when I was seven..." I started in a harsh whisper. Straight away, all of the noise stopped, leaving an eternally long silence in it's wake. You could've heard a pin drop, was it not for my ragged breaths.

"When i was seven, i witnessed something that changed my life." Grimmjow took my hand, and i smiled thankfully.

"I had started karate when i was five. At first, my mother didn't approve, but i pestered her until she gave in. There was a girl that i just couldn't beat. I trained and trained everyday and i got very strong" My voice faded in and out. I hated it. It made me feel weak and vulnerable.

"I finally beat her, and became the new champion of the school. W-when me and my mom—" My voice cracked.

"when we were walking home, we talked about nothing and everything." I whimpered, all boundaries cleared as tears flowed out of my eyes like waterfalls. Starrk had moved and pulled me onto his lap, rubbing my back soothingly, a frown etched into his face.

"It's okay, Ichi. I' m... were here for you" He whispered softly.

"Then-t-then, someone had s-snuck up on us, and g-grabbed me from behind, g-gagging me with a cloth t-that m-made me f-feel sleepy" All of the unwanted memories swarmed me, suffocated me.

"W-when i woke up everything was dark. But i could see clearly. My mom... My beautiful mother lay dead with a gunshot wound right here," my hand trembled as i rested it on my chest, my heart thumping frantically. "And the purse she carried with her everywhere... was gone. A-and ... today's t-the day she died." If only i didn't ask to go karate, she'd still be alive. Self-irritation and remorse flashed in my eyes.

Before i could say anything else, Tesla lifted me from Starrk's lap and looked me in the eyes probingly.

"Ichi... a-are you blaming yourself?"

"If I didn't ask to go karate, my mother would still be alive!" I sobbed and clutched my aching chest, willing the pain to dull.

"Ichi, please! Its not your fault. We don't blame you and i'm sure no one else does..." i looked up, hope in my eyes. They were still acting the same, as if they didn't know of my dirty secret.

"WHAT? WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT? Ichigo, of course we would never leave you! Were not letting you go that easy because your one of us now!" I looked at Grimmjow in shock, expecting him to be the one who had said that, but he was pointing his thumb in Ulquirra's direction who was staring at me incredulously.

"R-really?" i mumbled and he just spread his arms wide. I accepted his invitation and hugged him back, swimming.

"T-thank you, Onee-chan." His normally emotionless eyes softened, and he smiled. It was a rare moment and i made sure to engrave it into my mind for all of time. Then, he glared at everybody except me.

"If anybody speaks a word of this, i will bury them so deep in the ground, that the earths core would disintegrate their sorry asses." His word dripped with venom and i could feel it emanating from him. Everybody's eyes widened, al of them slowly moving away from the negative energy surrounding Ulquirra surreptitiously. I couldn't help myself. I howled in laughter, falling out of Ulquirra' s arms, rolling on the floor. My sides ached, but it was totally worth it! Nnoitra, Tesla and Grimmjow looked at each other before joining me. Ulquirra' s mouth twitched in what i supposed was a smile. The sound of the school bell ringing could be heard in the far distance. Sighing deeply, i stood up, wiping myself.

"There's more to it, but i need more time to prepare"

"Don't worry, we get it" Grimmjow smiled and threw his arm over my shoulders. His embrace... it felt amazing. It made me feel something i wasn't familiar with. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach once again and my hands felt clammy. Was this... could this be love? Because if it was, I' m totally screwed. He's dating Rukia. It seems that love always puts me in the hardest of positions and i was really starting to doubt if i could really be in a relationship.

We made our way back to class, Grimmjow' s arm still around me. Soft murmers ran through the corridors, slowly progressing in sound.

"Is Grimmjow-kun cheating on Rukia-chan?"

"I heard he broke up with her"

"Is he going out with Ichigo-chan?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Can you believe the things people come up with?" Grimmjow snapped out of his thoughts, turning his head to smile at me.

"What d'you mean?"

"They're saying you broke up with Rukia." I didn't meet his eyes, afraid he's be angry with me for prying.

"Eeer, yeah. I broke it off. I hate the way she messes with people. It's very conniving." He rubbed his neck with his other hand sheepishly.

"Oh.. well, good for you, i guess." I was calm and tranquil on the outside, but Inner Ichigo was screaming and jumping around in ecstasy. Yes! Before the joy could seep out, i settled down and walked into class with a now single Grimmjow.