Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. I am making no money from this. Tite Kubo owns all, I'm just playing with them for a while. I also do not own any of the quotes I use at the start of each chapter. They were all found on the internet or in books, and if they have an author I say who it is.

Author's Notes: Domo arigato gozaimasu to everyone who has reviewed this story: I thank you so much for all of your compliments. It has been hard to balance the various couples/characters, and I know it will get much harder in future chapters. I will try my best to keep this an IchiHime focused story, but as I'm also using it as a sort-of epilogue to the series I apologize if I end up focusing on couples/characters that you dislike. I've been told my many people that "I didn't like X/Y until I read your story, but…" That statement tends to always end with either "I love them now." or "You write them so well that (I can deal with them.) or (I am falling in love with them.)" In some ways, those 2nd kind of comments are the most rewarding reviews of all. So, yes, thanks to all my reviewers. Enjoy. This chapter is all IchiHime, and contains lemonish material. (slightly, uh, harsher than I normally write, just to warn you.) Ichigo's hollow speaks in italics cause that's how all the inner-selves of people in my series speak, so when he is manifested his words will be italicized. And anything that is happening in Ichigo's head between him and his hollow will also be in italics, just to make reading this a bit easier, as it jumps around between perspectives a bit. Sorry if this sudden dive into character depth and angst seems a bit odd, but this is supposed to be an IchiHime story after all, and now that the action is done, for the moment at least, I can deal with the repercussions…

Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to all my loyal readers (you know who you are, I've already thanked you personally) who always take the time to review and tell me what they liked, and didn't like.


Until the Last Breath

By Lady Callista

Chapter 4 : Pieces

OoOoOoOoOoO

"To love someone means you love the whole package, not just the pieces you choose"

~anonymous

OoOoOoOoOoO

He could swear that for a moment he was somewhere else, somewhere more real, feeling Orihime's soft body held within his embrace.

Ichigo opened his eyes to find himself standing on the side of a building, surrounded by an all too familiar washed-out world. He only had an instant to wonder what old man Zangetsu wanted to teach him or yell at him about this time before he saw the white figure.

Ah, kuso!

"Wow, King. I suppose you succeed so often, sometimes at what others say is impossible, that for things to balance out your failures have to be of epic proportion as well." The taunting voice of his Hollow said as soon as he saw it.

"I wasn't even there." Ichigo snarled back.

"I know." The hollow replied with a smirk. "Off partying while your little sister gets herself killed doing your job; you certainly deserve to be big brother of the year!"

"I asked her time and again not to fight Hollows… I…" Ichigo trailed off as the hollow laughed. "We just couldn't get there in time."

"Oh no, don't lump me in with you." The oddly echoing voice replied. "You could have moved so much faster through the gate if you had used me. If you'd changed… But no, you just ignore me now. As you've been doing for the past year and a half. You forget that I am part of what makes you strong."

"Kuso! You may increase my shunpo speed, and shit like that, but you can't run much faster than I can. And all you can do in a gate is run!" Although Ichigo's voice showed his anger, it also showed a bit of doubt.

"And would that little bit have made a difference?"

"No!" Ichigo's resolve was growing weaker by the second, and his doubt showed in his voice. "There's no way it could have… The other Shinigami got there before us, and even they couldn't… Dad was right there, and…"

"So just chalk it up to fate?" The hollow taunted mercilessly. "She's dead now and it was meant to be?"

"Oh, fuck you." Ichigo replied, getting more pissed off even as a small part of him wondered if it was true. If he had hollowfied, could he have gotten there in time? "Don't try to make me feel bad for not talking to you. For not using you. You…" No. No matter the reason, he never wanted that bastard in control again.

"You needed me to save Orihime." The figure taunted. "You would both be dead without me. And the entire world would be gone."

"I would have found a way." Ichigo screamed, although the doubt was obvious in his voice. His thoughts were rapidly spiraling downward as his own self-doubts were voiced by his hollow form, and he felt himself losing ground. He wouldn't have found a way, and he knew it. Without his hollow manifesting, he would be dead. And Orihime likely would be as well.

"You were DEAD!"

"Oh just shut the hell up and leave me the fuck alone!" With nothing constructive left to argue, Ichigo screamed at his darker half, and the desperation and doubt in Ichigo's voice were his undoing.

"Fine, stay here and wallow in your own failure." Seizing the advantage, and exploiting the hole his rocketing emotions left in his control, Ichigo's inner Hollow fully manifested.

Ichigo watched the scene unfold as if it were a play, finding it odd that for once he was the understudy, the one waiting in the background, and not the star. And as the scene went on he went from finding it odd to being absolutely terrified.

Orihime woke with a jolt as Ichigo's reiatsu both expanded exponentially and grew darker in a single instant.

"Ichigo?" She questioned softly, not recognizing that his arms were vised around her much more tightly than was normal.

"Mine." His voice was close to a growl, and as his arms tightened around her Orihime woke-up fully, immediately realizing that something was wrong.

"Ichigo-kun?" Orihime asked hesitantly, both the tone of his voice and the feel of his reiatsu letting her know it was not really her boyfriend who was in control.

"I love you." He was changing even as the words were spoken, so that most of them echoed in the voice that was unique to his hollow. His full hollow mask formed over his face.

"Ichi…"

The mask seemed to waver for an instant, and when he leaned down to kiss her Orihime gasped before opening her lips under his forceful kiss.

"He's always so gentle…"

Orihime registered the mocking, disdainful tone of the last sentence, but whatever comment she might have made cut off with a moan as Ichigo's inner hollow stopped disparaging his other self and closed his lips over the pulse point on her throat as he added, "Don't you ever wish he wouldn't be?"

A hand grasped one of her breasts slightly roughly, squeezing and molding it like it was clay, and he leaned down to kiss her again, swallowing a gasp that came much more from pleasure than pain. Although when his lips slid down from her own and he bit one of her nipples through the cotton of the shirt she was wearing, her gasp turned a little more to the pain side of things.

"Ichigo…" She gasped, wondering if she would be able to help him change back, as she had the three times he had changed before. But those times he had been concerned with protecting her; this time he just seemed to want her. And although he was being far rougher than she was used to, he wasn't really hurting her. Instead she felt a fire slowly building in her veins, and wondered if she should feel bad about that.

"NO!" Ichigo's voice came with a gasp as his hollow mask resonated and started to crack.

"Ichigo, it's…." Orihime's voice was breathy, "It's okay. He's not hurting me."

"No! Not like this…" Ichigo cursed as he regained control for a moment, forcing himself to slid away from her and rising quickly from the bed to stare out the window at the sun that was just starting to rise, the hollow mask fluctuating around his face like a badly malfunctioning hologram. "Run. Get away from me, please!"

"You know he'll just follow me." She said softly, rising from the bed and crossing to the window to stand behind him. "He's just part of you… and I know you would never hurt me."

"Hime…" Ichigo whispered desperately, "You don't understand… you can't. You haven't heard his thoughts; you don't know what he wants."

"At the moment, he wants me." Orihime said softly, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his bare shoulder-blade before pillowing her head on his back. "It's kinda humbling to realize how much he wants me."

"No more than I do…" Ichigo whispered, turning in her arms to kiss her gently. "But…"

That was as far as he got before he felt himself being wrenched away again. Yet his hollow didn't manifest itself and go after Orihime this time.

Instead it stood among the buildings, anger on its face and a sword naked in its hand.

Content in the knowledge that his body was still for the moment, Ichigo faced off with his inner demon. "You claim to love Orihime, right?" Ichigo yelled.

"Claim?" The hollow snarled the word as he attacked. "I do love her. In fact, if I remember correctly, the first time you told her you loved her was after you told her that I loved her."

"So you want to protect her?" Ichigo snarled back as their zanpakuto crossed. "You never want her to be sad, right? You want her happy?"

"Of course." The hollow screamed at him. "She's everything!"

"She would have cried if you had killed Ishida."

The hollow stopped screaming, and froze with his sword half-raised to attack again.

"She would have cried, because she would have blamed herself for his death. That's why I'm afraid to let you out!" Ichigo said passionately. "She would have cried, because she would have blamed herself for the man she loved turning into a bloodthirsty monster!"

"Ichigo-kun?" Orihime's voice floated through the silent world the two of them were locked into, and neither questioned that they could hear her voice even though everything else going on in the outside world was lost to them.

"She doesn't think I'm a monster!" The hollow cursed loudly, and Ichigo felt the world around him shift as his hollow regained control, and for a painful moment he was again cursed with only being able to watch what was going on. "She loves all of you, which means she loves me!"

"Ichigo-kun?" Orihime had just finished saying his name a second time when his eyes snapped open and the hollow mask re-solidified.

"No, not your Ichi-kun, princess." The hollow replied as his hands tightened their grip on her hips and he slowly moved forward until he had backed her against the wall.

Although her eyes widened slightly as his hips pinned her to the wall and his hands grasped her own before lifting them over her head, Orihime's voice was calm as she said, "How are you hurting him? What are you saying to him that he's lost enough control to let you out?"

"Maybe I just wanted you enough to get out on my own."

"You haven't manifested in a year and a half." Orihime said softly, even as one of his hands began to trail over her body while the other continued to pin her wrists over her head. His lips returned to the pulse in her neck, kissing and laving her before he bit down just hard enough to make her cry out softly, all thoughts flying from her mind.

"Hime."

Orihime's face scrunched up as she tried to concentrate on what she wanted to ask, and she tried to ignore the magic his hands were working on her body. Although the hands and lips cruising over body were far harder and rougher than Ichigo had ever been, they weren't hurting her, and she wasn't scared of him.

Instead, she found herself thrilled with the dark knowledge that he wanted her so much he didn't care about being gentle. She knew it was the Hollow in control, but she knew that of all people she had nothing to fear from this part of him. And a small part of her that was both embarrassed and ashamed reveled in the reckless passion he was showing.

They had been sleeping together for over a year and a half, yet despite the passions she occasionally caught a glimpse of in his eyes, he had always been a very tender and cautious lover, treating her like she was some precious heirloom that would break if it was touched too harshly.

Now his fingers pulled off her borrowed t-shirt carelessly as one hand kneaded her breast, and he kissed her deeply as soon as her head was clear of the shirt. Then his hand slid from her chest to rub slightly roughly against her clit, still covered by the boxers she had borrowed, and Orihime shuddered against him as she gasped, "Ichigo."

"See, monster my ass!" Ichigo's hollow shouted as he ran his hands over Orihime's body. "She loves you…me… us. She knows you won't…. She knows I won't hurt her."

"She's too innocent to understand what you want!" Ichigo screamed into the air, finding it very disconcerting to be on this side of the conversation. He was used to being in control of his body and having to deal with a voice in his mind. He was not used to being the voice while someone else was controlling his body.

"You think so?" The hollow tormented Ichigo. "You think she doesn't have passions to match our own? And if by some miracle she doesn't, she still won't hate us."

"She would if you had killed her friend!" Ichigo refuted, going back to the point that he had been going to make before the conversation derailed. He railed against being a prisoner in his own mind while he watched the hollow kissing and touching Orihime.

"She was in danger!"

"We had already saved her." Ichigo retorted. "Ulquiorra was basically dead, and…"

"We had to make sure!"

"And that's why you're dangerous!" Ichigo screamed. He had to regain control of his body before the hollow did anything else, yet for some reason he couldn't force himself through to the surface. Ichigo wasn't afraid his hollow would physically hurt Orihime, not intentionally anyway, but what he was doing could hurt her in a different way. "You have no conscience! No stopping point! You would do anything to protect her!"

"And you wouldn't?"

Taken aback by the question, Ichigo searched his heart for the answer, and a way to explain it that the hollow would understand.

The hollow took the opportunity provided by the silence in his head to lower his lips to Orihime's chest as he fell to his knees in front of her, using the movement to slid the boxers down to pool at her ankles.

Orihime shuddered, biting her lip to keep from crying out as his fingers played skillfully with the wet heat he had just revealed. She felt like her entire body was on fire, and couldn't believe she had become so aroused so quickly. Yet she could feel the conflict going on within her lover's body. She could feel Ichigo fighting against this, and a harshly grunted comment from Tsubaki made her regain her senses for a moment as her only aggressive flower reminded her of what she had tried to ask before. "What are you doing to him?"

"Making love to you like he wants to but doesn't have the balls to."

Orihime was speechless for a moment, and he actually stopped his arousing torment for long enough to look into her eyes, as if her response was important to him.

She knew it was important to him when she paused for too long before answering, and he prodded, "I'm not hurting you, am I? You want this as badly as I do."

"You're not hurting me, no." Orihime whispered, hesitantly raising her hands to cup his face through the mask. If nothing else, she knew that Ichigo could hear what she was saying, and she wanted to make sure he knew she was okay. "But I want to know what you're doing to him. How did you force yourself through?"

"He failed to save someone he loved. He's worried that maybe I could have."

Without thinking of the consequences, Orihime slapped him across the cheek. "You bastard! He's upset enough that he couldn't…"

A harsh growl made her trail off as he suddenly rose to his feet, towering over her menacingly. "What if it had been you?" The hollow hissed as his hands clutched her shoulders harshly. "He won't even let me out now if you're in danger! He learned to suppress me, to hide me away like a dirty little secret. He won't even let me protect the people we love!"

"Hollows can love?"

The echoing growl was even darker this time. "Are you questioning that I love you?"

Orihime gasped as his hands slid down to her hips, pulling her body fully against him as he captured her lips in a bruising kiss. His hands slid around to cup her ass as his tongue forced its way into her mouth, and she could feel his length pressed hard against her stomach.

The arousal that had been simmering through her since his first kiss flashed back to life, although this time she couldn't completely suppress her fear.

Normally she loved how strong he was, it both made her feel safe and gave her dreams of being a damsel in distress protected by her strong knight. She loved being swept up in his arms. She loved that he could hold her like she weighed nothing, and shunpo around town with her on his back, making her feel like she was flying. She loved how his arms would occasionally lock around her so strongly that she knew she couldn't get away unless he let her.

And for the first time ever, she didn't trust that he would let her.

TBC...


AN2: So the cliffhanger I was nice enough not to write in the previous chapter appears here, as I didn't expect this part to run nearly this long, but it just kinda took on a mind of its own. Although if you have read enough of my stories you should know not to be too worried. Also, I almost never swear in fanfic, and I think I used the f* word alone more times in this story than in all my other stories put together, but I couldn't write Ichigo's hollow without it. Sorry if it bothered anyone, as I know you're not used to strong language in my stories. That said, thanks again to all my readers, and I hope you enjoyed this (slightly odd) chapter. And while compliments are always nice, please remember that I take constructive criticism very well. If I make a mistake, in grammar/spelling or (my world's version of) cannon, please tell me. I would much rather you tell me than have 1,000 other people read it and think I'm an idiot. On that note, thank you to chuchootrain for letting me know that my entire chapter 3 of this story had "Kurasaki." It's actually an amusing story involving my roommates and an early April Fool's joke of changing words in my personal dictionary, which is huge since I write anime fanfic, into other things that were close enough that I wouldn't notice them while I was writing, but… Anyway, the chapter is now fixed, thanks again chuchootrain