I was walking. I wasn't sure exactly where to but there was a feeling of urgency in my steps. It was dark out, but the smallest glimmer of light was shining through the trees that were just in front of me. I began to think that they= light was my destination and picked up my pace. The going was tough with twisted roots and the occasional rock jutting out to trip me up. I'd duck and weave under all the outstretched branches, fighting for balance, the light never seeming to get any closer. As a matter of fact it looked like it was getting further away. Diminishing.
"No, no, no!" I called quickly, my voice echoing around me. I tried to double my efforts but that only seemed to push the light away further. "Wait!" But it was too light. The light was snuffed all together and I was left alone in the darkness. Reaching out, I steadied myself on a tree and tried to get my bearings. Where was I? This part of the woods was unfamiliar even to me.
There was the sound of a branch snapping from my immediate left and I turned. Squinting through the darkness, I couldn't see anything, but at the sound of another 'snap' even closer to me I decided I didn't want to know. Turning to the opposite direction, I started rushing through the tree, lifting my feet up high to avoid falling. Still there was the sound of someone pursuing me. I began running.
"Help!" I cried into the darkness, fists pumping at my side. "Alex!"
The noises behind me grew louder and fiercer as fear began to grip my heart. Whatever it was, it was gaining on me with little to no effort. I risked a glance over my shoulder just as my foot caught under an unusually high root. Pitching forward, I yelped as I landed hard on my face, surprise shooting through me instead of pain at the fact that I didn't twist my ankle or worse. Another branch snapped behind me, accompanied by the sound of a rasping breath.
I whimpered, pushing myself up on my hands and knees pushing forward again. Leaves and dirt caked over my hands as I crawled across the forest ground. The heavy sound of footsteps suddenly began pounding in my ear. I tried to hold back from crying but by the time the sound was just behind me, my asks were shaking from the strength of my sobs.
"No!" I tried to protests as the person reached down and picked me up by the arm. I fought against them, but it was obvious who was stronger. Finally deciding to just turn and attack, I faced my pursuer and gasped. "Jay?"
It was Jay, but he looked awful. His skin was pale and sickly looking and as I took a harder look at him, I realized he was soaked to the bone. He was wearing his clothes from the night before and I noticed that one of his shoes was missing. He was bruised roughly around the hairline and his entire body seemed to be a bit swollen as if he had…drowned.
"Jay, w-what…what's going on?" I stuttered, twisting my arm so I could grasp his arm. "Jay, where were you?" He didn't answer, instead choosing to march me forward in the direction I'd already been heading. I let him lead me, stealing frightened glances as his pale eyes. I had no idea what had happened to him but given the option of wondering around alone and staying with Jay…I'd choose Jay. Despite our differences at times, I trusted him just as much as I trusted the others.
We continued on in silence, Jay easing clearing any obstructions from our path by simply pushing through it. I was beginning to think he was just as lost as I had been when suddenly we cleared the tree line. I stumbled slightly as the terrain evened out. Glancing around quickly, I realized we were at the bank of the river beside the Ripper ambulance. A quick sweep of the area told me that my secret inner wish hadn't come true. Jay hadn't been leading me to Alex.
"What're we doing here?" I asked dejectedly as Jay finally let go of my arms. He pointed off towards the bank instead of giving me an answer. I glanced nervously between the two before nodding slowly. Legs shaking, I advanced towards the water. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, but once I reached the bank, I chanced a glance into the water. The inky blackness of it looked back at me, its surface too opaque to even show my reflection. Nothing happened.
Shaking my head in confusion, I went to turn back to Jay to ask what I was supposed to be doing only to see something horrifying. I screamed as I took in the corpse of Penelope Bryte, leaning against the other side of the ambulance. Her dead eyes stared off into nothing, the wide tear in her throat continuing to spew a veritable river of thick blood. Hand over mouth; I backed up, water sloshing over my ankles as I back tracked into the river.
I cried out as I tripped over something, landing on something soft yet firm which had been concealed just under the solid surface of the lake. Looking down I tried to control my gag reflex as I realized I'd tripped over Brandon O'Neil, who was lying face up, my weight keeping him from floating away. Turning to see what I had landed on, I picked up my sobbing once more as I saw that I'd landed on Brittany Cunningham, my hand pushing down on her face.
I floundered, pushing myself back and farther into the river. As I did so, I dragged Brittany and Brandon in with me and their bodies began floating at the top of the water. Reaching out behind me, I tried to find something to drag myself back onto the bank with. When I finally grabbed onto something, I turned around only to release it immediately.
"NO! JEROME!" I cried, as I watched my friend begin floating away from the force of my flailing. I couldn't find a way to control my sobbing now as my head began to sink beneath the surface of the river. Kicking myself back towards the bank I tried to rip my eyes from the horror of my piers floating lifelessly in the water.
My head bumped against something, causing me to duck beneath it in surprise. Reaching my hands above me, I grabbed whatever or whoever this was and pushed them further outwards while using the momentum to break the surface again. I sputtered as I opened my eyes again only to snap them shut again as I saw Bug floating on his back, mouth twisted into a grimace of horror. "NO! NO, NO, NO, NO!"
This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be happening. I was still crying hysterically when I finally felt earth beneath me once more. Digging my nails into the muddy floor of the river, I dragged myself up onto the bank, my clothes made heavy by the water soaking me through. Gasping, I back out of the river much the way I'd backed into it. My foot had just cleared it when I fell backwards over a great lump of what I could only pray was earth.
I laid there on my back for a moment, trying to catch my breath. I didn't want to look down at what had tripped me up. There was only one more person that could appear now. Slowly, and while crying, I pushed myself back onto my hands and turned my head slowly. I took in the soaked black t-shirt, the pale smooth skin, the defined jaw, the straight nose, and the curly hair that was Alex Dunkelmen. The scream that ripped through my throat was enough to shatter the darkness around me as my mind spiraled into insanity.
"NO! ALEX!" I screamed, back arching up and off the nurses table as I came to from my dream. I immediately tried to sit up but the nurse was by my side, forcing me back down.
"Calm down!" she grunted as I began to kick at her. My eyes leaked unstoppable tears as I tried to scratch helplessly at my own face. I was awake now, but the images were still flashing in front of my eyes.
"NOT ALEX! NO, NO PLEASE!" I begged, hysteria shaking my entire frame as the older woman attempted to calm me down.
"Hayley, listen to me!" she grit out, forcing me back down as I tried to get up again. I fought against her brutally, clawing at her arms as she attempted to stroke my hair. "Alex is fine! Do you hear me?"
"Alex," I groaned, flopping about the table like a fish out of water as my body convulsed in terror. "Alex-"
Her hand silenced the cry as she slapped me across the face. The sting was jarring and I finally went still, my head still turned to the side. I tensed for a moment before going limp and beginning to shake. The nurse was panting as she got off me, grumbling under her breath as she rushed to her office. Just as she disappeared from my hazy sight, the door to the nurses office burst open.
"Hayley?" I looked up as I saw Alex running towards me. He pulled me against his chest and I clung to him desperately. This nightmare had been the worst one yet. I continued shaking as he kissed anywhere he could reach, his hand moving comfortingly through my hair. "It was only a dream," he soothed.
"It was so real," my voice shook as I pulled away from him to look him in the eyes. "You were all dead and…and-"
He shushed me, pulling my face back to his chest as he helped me off the table. I brought a hand to my face as he turned slightly to dig into his back pocket. Murmuring soft words of comfort, he pulled out the knit hat I'd asked him to bring from my locker. He pulled the dark blue hat of yarn over my bandaged hand before cradling my face in his hands. I looked at him, still shaking but far calmer then when I'd woken up.
"I'm right here," he assured just as the nurse came from her office, a small bottle of pills in her hands. Alex took one look at it before pulling him slightly behind him. "She doesn't need those," he said forcefully.
"I think I should be the one deciding that," she growled, turning to look down at me. "These are sleeping pills. They should help you sleep without any night terrors-"
"She doesn't have night terrors!" Alex griped, ushering me towards the door. I looked up at him confused as the nurse tried to convince us both otherwise. Alex simply ignored her, and we walked out into the hallway. They were empty now and I guessed that it was finally 2:30pm. I knew this counted as insubordination and that Alex would probably be called into Pratt's office the next day.
The effects of my dream were beginning to wear off now and I slowly disconnected myself from Alex's side. In a small voice I explained what had happened in the nightmare. He was unusually silent, not meeting my eyes as I described Penelope's butchered body. When I finished, he explained how he'd been on his way to get me when he'd heard me screaming from down the hall. I tried to inquire why he'd been so adamant about me not getting sleeping pills, but he brushed me off eventually becoming annoyed at my questions and encouraging me to let it go.
I questioned what he'd done during his off period and suddenly he became sheepish. The guilty look on his face alerted me to the fact that Bug was not with us. I glanced around as if he were hiding before fixing Alex with a heavy stare. He confessed to the bit of spying he'd done in the Fang zone and regretfully told me about how Bug had been caught during his great escape from the girls' room. I berated him for possibly the hundredth time for putting Bug in such situations before settling down again. Really it wasn't as if they'd been peeping or anything. The principle couldn't get too mad at Bug, especially with what they knew about Fang now. No harm no foul, right?
"So where's Bug now?" I asked as we reached the courtyard outside the building where students were milling around. He nodded off to our left and I saw Bug sitting on a stone bench looking dejected. With a quick glance at Alex, I hurried over to the blonde teen and took a seat beside him. "Hey."
He jumped slightly before nodding at me. "Oh, hey, Hayley," he said shakily. There was a screech from overhead and we both looked up to notice a turkey vulture flying just above us. I shuddered, thinking of the injury hidden under my hat just as Alex reached us. He too was watching the bird.
"Connecticut Condor?" he asked somewhat playfully, turning to face us. I bumped Bug's arm with mine but he just shrugged, not finding the joke exceptionally funny.
"Turkey vulture," he corrected, wringing his hands between his hands between his knees. "You find Jay?" I thought back on my dream and shivered.
"No, it's weird, he always answers," my boyfriend replied, turning away to watch people exit the school.
"I saw him," Bug whispered then causing both Alex and I to whip our heads to face him.
"Where?" I asked uneasily, feeling like I wouldn't like his answer. He glanced at me sideways, hesitating for a moment before answering.
"In the boys bathroom mirror…he was in the river I think…"
"The river?" I asked perking up. "Like drowning? Was he hurt?" My own interest seemed to reassure Bug as he sat up straighter and turned slightly to me.
"He tried to say something, but he-"
"Bug," Alex cut him off in a gentle but firm tone. We both turned to him with wide, frightened eyes. "It's best not to think about your nightmares today…either of you." He added the last part while staring at me and I lowered my gaze feeling very childish. I had to get over this.
"It wasn't a nightmare…" Bug tried to convince us. I rested my hand on his knee in reassurance.
"Whatever it was," Alex clarified. "Look, all seven of us our on edge today…seeing the Ripper in all sorts of places." Reaching out, he offered me his hand and helped me up from the bench. I turned back to Bug now, giving him a sympathetic look as I saw the reason in Alex's words.
"It's like Brandon said," I picked up trying to sound cheery. "That's the way the cookie crumbles for you guys…just for today though." Bug stared up at us almost in awe before nodding and lowering his head. Reaching out, I brushed the top of his hair lightly, forcing a smile when he finally met my gaze. "Don't be afraid."
Again Bug nodded as I took my bag from Alex's shoulder. He would be walking home now while Bug went to go see the principle. Usually we would all go together but apparently nothing could go as planned on Ripper Day. With a gentle tug on my hand, Alex began leading me away and I couldn't help but look back at Bug.
"The Condor eats death for breakfast, Bug," I reminded, not pausing as he raised his head to look at me. "You're the Condor…don't forget that." He rubbed his palms over his jeans and I took this as a sign of understanding as Alex reminded him to call him after Pratt.
We exited the school with no trouble and were soon deep into the woods on the way to my house. It was silent going and I fidgeted slightly, Alex's shirt slipping off my shoulder constantly as I tried to catch his eye. I knew he got frustrated with Bug's silly antics sometimes, but I was never sure if he'd eventually get sick of me too. Lowering my eyes to the ground I tried to find something to talk about that wouldn't provoke some sort of argument. He was right after all. Everyone was on edge today. I felt it too even though I wasn't part of the Seven.
"I worry about Bug sometimes," I said out of nowhere. Alex turned to me, one dark eyebrow raised in confusion. I shrugged, trying to find where I'd been going with this statement. "It's just…with all this Ripper Day stuff I wonder if….well I worry if one day he'll find out the truth and be angry with us."
"Why would he be angry with us?" he questioned as we reached a slight hill. Again I shrugged, fighting off the urge to scratch the back of my head.
"Well wouldn't you be mad if the entire time I'd known you I'd known something from your past and just never filled you in?" I heard him make a scoffing sound and staggered slightly. He caught me and pushed me further up the hill before giving his reply.
"Not if it was that my biological father was a serial killer I wouldn't," he assured as we reached the top of the hill. My house was in few now and we slowed our pace. No need to alert my mother to our presence. "It's like you said, Bug's too innocent for something like that."
I nodded my head in acknowledgment of my own statement. "Maybe he wouldn't be though if everyone hadn't been sheltering him his whole life."
"You shelter him enough." I paused at the slightly affronted tone in his voice. Turning to him, I locked his eyes with mine and set my jaw.
"I do that because I have to. It's too late for me to come out with the truth now. You swore me to secrecy just like your mom swore you to secrecy."
"So you baby Bug because I told you to?" he was getting a bit sarcastic now and I knew nothing good could come from that. Shaking my head, I turned away and continued towards my house, my strides longer than before.
"You made me," I huffed, shrugging my shoulders at a loss. "You said that we could never tell him because it would-"
"Tear him apart on the inside, yes," he cut over me, overtaking me easily. "And it would so why do you want to tell him?"
"I don't want to tell him…" I tried to assure the both of us as my eyes darted at our feet.
"Well then why-"
"I just-!" I stopped, sighing heavily as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. "I just feel bad for lying to him." This seemed to pacify Alex somewhat as he now rested his fingers beneath my chin to make me look at him. His dark eyes looked sincerely sorry for placing this burden on me and he leaned down to kiss my forehead.
"Don't think of it as lying," he chided, throwing his arm over my shoulder and pulling me forward once more. "Think of it as…with holding the truth for the greater good."
"Is there such a thing?" I mumbled as we reached the far left side of my front porch.
"What, with holding the truth?" Alex asked me, confused.
"The greater good," I corrected staring upwards. The image of my sad, lonely house made me think otherwise. What 'greater good' could there be for people like me and Alex in places like this. He looked at my house too as if reading my mind and I could feel the sigh building in his chest. It never came however as he turned to me and smirked.
"One day," he assured me. "With you brains and my wit? We'll make it out of here, no question." I searched his eyes for some sort of truth but all I found was blind faith. He believed this to be the truth…and that was good enough for me. Leaning forward, I wrapped myself around him and sighed as I felt him kiss my hair.
"I love you," I murmured into his neck, my voice a bit thicker than usual. As we pulled away, he gave me another smirk and brushed the side of my face with the back of his hand.
"I love you too." He glanced at my front door. "You sure you want to go in there?"
"You sure you want to go back there?" I countered, glancing in the general direction of his house. He snickered, leaning forward to plant a short kiss on my lips. When he pulled away we were both smiling and my day was beginning to look up.
"I'll be seeing you," he said smugly, beginning to walk backwards as I stepped up onto the porch.
"Not if I see you first," I challenged, trying to make this linger so that I wouldn't be left alone. No such luck though as he just laughed and turned to walk away, hands buried in his jean pockets. I watched him go, leaning against the side of my house until he disappeared behind some tree or another. With a sigh I head back towards my front door and let myself using the key I kept safe in my back pocket.
The door creaked open and I made a mental note to oil the hinges later. I took care of absolutely everything in this house right down to paying the bills. I don't know how my mom even managed to keep a job but she brought in the money somehow which was all I cared about. I made sure all the checks were mailed on time so that we had the luxury of running water more than two days a week. I did all the grocery shopping with spare bills I found lying around and I made sure we didn't drown in my mother's mess.
I glanced down by the door to see a pair of construction boots resting there as if they belonged. Sighing sadly I thought over the one secret I held from Alex. Throwing my backpack onto the hideous brown couch that took up our living room, I headed into the kitchen. Everything in our house was relatively old but the kitchen was the worst. When my grandmother had died, my mom had opted to just take her house with everything in it so all we owned was about as old as the house itself. We didn't have anything that was made after 1963 except for our clothes and a few electronics like my computer and our phones.
As I dug around in the ice box of our Frigidaire, I heard the pounding of footsteps coming down the stairs. I immediately straightened up and shut the ice box as the steps reached the ground floor and started towards the kitchen. I considered hiding for a moment liked I'd used to when I was younger but then thought of Alex. He wouldn't want me to run from my fears. He'd want me to face them…like a man. And so i squared my shoulder and set my jaw as the one secret I couldn't tell Alex sauntered into view.
"Well if it isn't my step-daughter," Quint slurred as he walked in the kitchen with a drunken sort of swagger. I sneered at him, inching around the opposite side of the table as he made his way towards the fridge. He had been coming around here for the last few months, screwing around with my mom and harassing me. I couldn't bring myself to tell Alex. Much like with the secret we kept from Bug, it would tear him apart on the inside to know that Quint was often lurking around my home while I was here. Sometimes even at night.
"I'm not you step-daughter," I huffed as he yanked the door open, digging around through the groceries that I had brought home.
"You might as well be from the way you're always hanging on that waste of skin step-son of mine," he snorted, not even bothering to look at me as he spoke. "Have you two fucked yet?"
"That's-" I was cut off by the sound of someone tumbling down the stairs followed by incessant giggling. My spirit dropped another tenfold as my own mother staggered in, clad in only under wear and an extra-large t-shirt that looked suspiciously like one of Quint's.
"Baby, come back to bed," she slurred, leaning against the doorframe, hair covering her face.
"In a second," the man grunted, finally turning around to face me. "So what is it with you and my son anyway?" he questions, wiping his nose on his sleeves. "What, he can't get it up?"
"That's not-" I was cut off by another outburst of giggling from my mom as Quint pushed himself away from the fridge and advanced on me. I began backing up.
"Is he a fag or something?" he went on, greasy hand sliding over the top of our dining table. My back hit a wall and I looked pleading at my mother who was only glancing back and forth between us suspiciously. Quint advanced further, stopping an arm's length away. Far too close for my liking.
"No-"
"Are you just a stuck up virgin?" he sneered, looking pleased as my face flushed red and my mother began giggling absently. "You know…" he moved his arm to rest on the wall next to my head. "I could fix that for you." I fought against my gag reflex as he breathed on me, but it was an uphill battle.
"Hey," my mom spoke up then, standing as straight as she could. "Why you wanna bother with her?" Stepping forward she slid her hands over the man's shoulders. "You've got me-"
"Would you shut-up," he snapped, bringing a hand to my throat now as my mother pouted. My eyes flew around the room now, looking for some sort of weapon, but he had me by the throat so it was pointless. Granted he wasn't applying any pressure, but he was too close to me.
"I'm better than her in bed," she whined on, reaching out to tug on the arm that was restricting me. Deep down I wanted to believe this was motherly instinct coming in to protect me, but even deeper down I knew she just wanted the attention.
"I said shut-up!" Quint yelled, releasing me so that he could back hand my mother across the face. She staggered back, falling on her side as I slid to the ground in shock and terror. "God you're so fucking stupid!" With force greater than either of us women possessed, he kicked my mom hard in the back, to which she curled up in the fetal position and began to moan.
"Leave her alone," I all but whispered as he brought his leg back to kick her again. He paused turning to glare at me over his shoulder. I shrank back, curling in on myself slightly as he just scoffed. Turning away, he kicked her again anyway before storming out of the kitchen. I listened to his muffled curses as he yanked on his boots by the door and didn't move until I heard the front door slam.
Almost instantly my mother burst into hysterical tears and I started at the noise. It was like a dying cat. Dragging myself to my feet, I approached her cautiously, not knowing exactly why she was crying. Most people would be upset with the fact that someone they were with had just abused them, but with her it was impossible to tell. When I reached her side, I crouched down again, resting a hand on her shaking back as she was still curled up.
"Mom?" I tested lightly. Abruptly with the sound of my voice, her crying ceased and she went still. I withdrew my hand, resting back on my haunches. "Mom?"
Without answering me, or even acknowledging my presence, she uncurled and picked herself up slowly. I could see from the way she moved that she was hurting and debated offering her help or not. She shuffled out of the kitchen, eyes not even glancing at me as I watched her go in confusion. I was so confused. Couldn't she see that? She'd just reached the first step to the second level of our house when I tilted my head at her.
"Mom, are you okay?" I asked out of honest concern. She was a bad mother…hell she was a bad person, but I still had a hope that one day she would clean herself up. That hope was momentarily ripped from my chest as she whipped her head to look at me. I gasped at the cold glare she was giving me; completely filled with hate and loathing.
"This…" she began, taking her foot off from the first step and turning fully towards me. "IS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!" I gasped, trying to back away as she suddenly started towards me looking fierce.
"No, mom!" I begged as she brought her hand down to slap me hard across the face. Reaching out, she grabbed a fistful of my bangs that hung down over my face and threw me to the tile. I cried out as she began kicking my repeatedly in the back much like Quint had done to her. As I curled my arms over my head I tried to hold back from crying for Alex. He couldn't help me now.
When she finally stopped her onslaught, my back was sore and I was shaking in fright. I listened as she panted heavily, her bare feet staggering around my head. I peeked out from behind the safety of my arms and watched as she leaned against the same wall I had been trapped against before sliding slowly to the floor. She sat there, staring into space and a bruise forming on her cheek. Our positions had been switched and i felt like absolute shit.
Uncurling myself from my protective ball, I winced as I used the table to pull myself to my feet. Not looking at my mother now, I staggered out of the kitchen, supporting myself against the wall. When I finally reached the stares, I was panting and out of breath as I gripped the banister. I paused, glancing back into the kitchen where the woman still sat looking lost.
"He's not even good to you," I said to the empty air in front of my face before dragging myself up the stairs. It hurt now and would for a while, but tomorrow when I went to school I would fake that it didn't…for the greater good.
