To Boldy Bust a Ghost
While Bones was off sending the crew to chemically-induced nirvana, the rest of them moved to a small engineering lab and cleared it of delicate equipment. Since high-energy experiments that didn't go quite according to plan frequently involved the term 'KABOOM', the lab's bulkheads were triply reinforced and should be able to withstand full blast from the Ghostbusters' proton packs.
As Spengler and Venkman set traps around the room, Stantz took readings. "Well, the good news is that Redjac's energy readings are stable, so he's not getting any stronger."
Venkman looked up with a worried expression. "Ray, why do a sense a big giant 'but' coming with a crap load of bad news?"
"Because it's still a lot of energy?" Stantz replied diffidently. "Maybe more than we can handle?"
"Please," Venkman pleaded. "Please don't say we're going to have to cross the streams."
"What's the problem with crossing the streams?" Kirk asked.
"It would be bad," Spengler replied with Spock-like understatement.
Jim looked at him suspiciously. "What do you mean 'bad'?"
"It's hard to explain, but try to imagine life as you know it stopping instantaneously and finding yourself hopelessly confined in another dimension."
"Pfft," Jim waved a hand. "Been there, done that."
"Repeatedly," Giotto added with a small eye roll.
Venkman stared at them in surprise. "Seriously?"
"Indeed," Spock affirmed. "We are in fact currently in an alternate timeline universe and have on several occasions been drawn into parallel dimensions and space-time anomalies. It has become..." he pursed his lips for a moment, searching for the appropriate human idiom, "...somewhat routine."
"And I thought we'd been through some strange shit," Stantz let out a small whistle. "But we shouldn't have to cross the streams. We will however need to seriously boost the power on our traps if we're going to hold this guy."
"The power couplings for your devices are somewhat antiquated, but it should not be difficult to replicate appropriate connections," Spock stated. "Once that is accomplished almost unlimited power can be rerouted from the ship's engines."
Kirk cringed inwardly. It was probably a good thing Scotty was stuck in a jail cell planetside because he'd have a conniption if he heard what Spock was proposing. Jim could almost hear the rant ('Hook me bairns to some crazy ghost trap! Are ye mad?'), but there was no choice. "Get to work on it Mr. Spock."
.
By the time McCoy rejoined them, the floor was dotted with traps connected by glowing cables to a power coupling routed through the wall. Redjac's voice taunted them as they completed their preparations. "Soon all control will be restored to me! I will plunge you into the planet's sun and you will all die in searing agony."
"Yo Redjie," Venkman taunted back. "You are one dumbass spirit of darkness. Has it even occurred to you that if you destroy the ship, you die too?"
"I am without ending. I have existed from the dawn of time, and I shall I live beyond its end! You are helpless to stop me."
"Bones," Jim asked. "How are you coming along?"
"Everyone's high as kite except us Jim."
Kirk looked around. The Ghostbusters claimed that the field from their proton packs would keep Redjac from possessing them. That left him, Spock, Bones and Giotto. Spock would probably be okay. If happy thoughts made it ill, imperturbable Vulcan cool wasn't likely sit too well with it either.
"I shall feed," Redjac crowed. "There is nothing you can do to prevent it! And this time I do not need a knife."
"Sorry about this Chief," Kirk said. "But if it took you over it wouldn't need a knife either. Bones, give him a shot."
Giotto didn't look happy, but held his arm out with an resigned expression. After the hypo emptied, Sam shook his head and blinked a couple times. A spacey smile spread over the usually serious veteran's face. "Whoa. Doc, how do you stay grouchy with that stuff in your kit?"
"You cannot thwart me," Redjac yelled. "You will all die! Die! Die!"
"Die, die, die," Giotto sing-songed back with a wasted grin. "You think death threats are gonna scare me? Dude, check the color of my shirt."
Kirk coughed to cover a laugh. God, but he hoped whatever happened in here wouldn't erase the lab's video records. "Okay Bones, now you."
McCoy looked at him suspiciously. "I don't know Jim. I think I ought to stay clear."
"That's an order Bones."
"Okay, but if I see one even one video clip..." Bones warned before pressing a hypo to his own arm. His eyebrows rose and then he beamed a huge grin. "Damn, no wonder the whole ship's happy as hogs in moonshiner's slop."
Stantz quirked a half-smile. "Maybe we should have a little hit of that - you know, just to take the edge off."
"Later Ray," Venkman said. In his opinion, Stantz already seemed like he'd been smoking something about half the time.
Kirk turned to his XO. "Ready to drive it out of the computer?"
"Ready." Spock hit a button on his padd. "Computer, this is a Class A compulsory directive. Compute to the last digit the value of pi."
"No, no, no, no, no!" Redjac screamed.
Spock looked a bit more smug than maybe a Vulcan should. "As we know, the value of pi is a transcendental figure without resolution. The computer banks will work on this problem to the exclusion of all else until we order it to stop."
"That should keep that thing busy for a while," Spengler agreed.
"There is resistance, but the directive is succeeding. Bank after bank is turning to the problem," Spock informed them as a progress bar on his padd neared completion. "Captain, before Redjac leaves the computer should you not also be injected?"
"Nope," Jim smirked as he took a position in the middle of the traps. "I don't think Redjac is really a match for me."
"Ya'll be careful 'bout gettin' possessed Jim," Bones drawled. "Your head starts spinning around, you're gonna get one helluva crick in your neck."
"PKE levels spiking!" Spengler reported.
"It's heeerrre." Venkman said signaling the Captain.
Kirk dove out of the way just as Spengler and Stantz fired proton beams across the spot he'd just occupied. Venkman triggered the traps amid an eruption of fog and neon light. Sparks showered the room from exploding circuits and proton beams frying tritanium walls.
"No! Kill you all..." Redjac wailed as his smoky special effects were sucked into a trap like a reverse volcano.
Stantz cautiously checked the trap and then lifted it with a grin. "Occupado."
"Awesome light show boys!" McCoy exclaimed as Giotto whistled and applauded. "Ya'll need music for that!"
"Actually, we've got a pretty catchy theme song," Venkman began.
"Peter," Spengler interrupted. "First let's get rid of this guy before he exhausts the energy boost on the trap."
"Good idea," Kirk pulled himself up. "Spock take that to the transporter and set it on maximum dispersion." Its consciousness might continue but only as billions of separate bits of energy, floating forever in space, powerless.
"You know, Captain," Venkman said, putting a chummy arm around him as Spock left with the trap. "You were pretty good. If you ever get tired of this starship gig, I think we could really kick ass together - in the spiritual sense of course."
"That's okay," Jim chuckled. "In this job I get more than enough opportunities for non-spiritual ass-kicking."
"You mean for having ya'lls ass kicked," Bones corrected.
"Nice one." Giotto chuckled and high-fived the doctor.
"Jeez, I should have known better than let them get hammered in the same room," Jim muttered covering his face with a palm. "Bones, how long until the drugs wear off?"
"I don't know Jimbo. Five, maybe six hours. I gave everybody a pretty big shot."
"Yes, I can see that." Kirk turned to the Ghostbusters. "Well for the next five or six hours, I'm going to have the happiest crew in space. Of course, we're not going to get much work done but the only thing I have to do is go retrieve one of my officers on the planet. It would probably help our case if you came along as witnesses."
"Planet?" Spengler asked excitedly. "You mean like with strange alien lifeforms?"
"I don't know..." Venkman hedged. "I think I've had about as much strange as I can handle for now."
Kirk clapped him on the shoulder. "This isn't slime-covered tentacled aliens. Argelians are humanoid and very friendly. In fact," Jim beamed a sudden grin. "I know a place where the women -"
"I know the place, Jim!" McCoy exclaimed. "Let's go!"
"In your condition? Don't be ridiculous." Kirk said. He quickly ushered the Ghostbusters out the door. "Mr. Spock can keep an eye on things here. Vulcans don't really get the whole free love thing."
"Free love?" Venkman was suddenly interested.
"Yeah, and the women at this place..." Jim's expression went a little dreamy. "You wouldn't believe it. I'll have to show you. ...If you're interested of course."
There was a quick exchange of glances. Venkman smiled. "Hey, seek out new life and new civilizations, right? We're in."
AN: The solution to drive Redjac from the computer is from the TOS episode as is drugging the crew, but I had to do something to fix the stupidity that Redjac would reanimate a dead body rather possess Kirk (the only one besides Spock who wasn't drugged or unconscious).
Now I just need to get the Ghostbusters back home.
Please r&r.
