Chapter 13

It took the barber quite a while to return to the bedroom to tell her that her bath was ready, but Mrs. Lovett didn't mind at all. The more time she spent in it, the more she became aware of how pleasant the bedroom actually was. She could stay there for hours, just watching the sun dance on the walls, feeling the soft mattress and pillow beneath her body. The best part however was that it was so obviously Sweeney Todd's bed. Although it was larger and more comfortable than she could've imagined, it bore the imprint of his body and it smelled like him; that was what she appreciated the most. It was indeed a very enjoyable place to be.

When he came back to her, she didn't know how much time had passed. It wasn't important however; she simply got out of the bed and followed him to the place where he was guiding here too, not bothered by the fact that she wasn't wearing much. Or rather, she didn't care that Sweeney saw her like this, wearing a worn nightdress with nothing beneath it and the lower half of her body only covered by her stockings, bloomers and the edge of her nightgown.

She was very much aware of the way the soft cotton was brushing against her skin, which was more sensitive than usual now that she had spent quite some time wondering what exactly could happen if the two of them would end up taking the bath that he had promised her together.

But even as he was showing her the way to the bad that he had prepared, there was no indication however that he had even been remotely thinking the way she had. His expression was unreadable once more. If it hadn't been for the slight curve of his mouth, she would've thought that he was still the same man as he had been ten years ago after all.

The usually outspoken baker still didn't have the courage to tell him what she would like to do most in the tub that was awaiting her. Trying to persuade herself that it didn't matter, she followed him without saying a word.

When doing so, Mrs. Lovett recognized the room that she had been in the day before at the end of the hallway – the room where she had found a lot of her former belongings in. Aware that she didn't have any clothes with her except for the few that she was currently wearing, she cast a questioning glance at the locked door.

This time, Sweeney didn't need words to understand what she was suggesting. Without saying anything himself, he took something from beneath his shirt. It was a thin cord with a key connected to it; the same one that he had given her the day before. Only now she found out that he apparently wore the key to that room that was dedicated to her on his actual person. The realization was both a shocking and a very flattering one.

Not aware of her reaction, he simply offered her the key once more. Knowing now exactly what to do with it, she unlocked the door again and moved inside quickly. She wasn't as bewildered as she had been the day before, when she had entered the room for the first time, but it was still rather bizarre to see all those things of her in such a different setting.

Not wanting to consider this, she made her way to the wardrobe that contained a lot of the clothing that she once had owned. Wanting to look as good and tidy as she could to the barber, eager to free herself of the lifestyle of the shabby woman she had been forced to be, she quickly took out new items of underclothing without really looking at them. Remembering the old dress that she had changed into the day before, she now chose a different one after a few seconds of consideration. It was seductive without being exposing, the colors capturing one's attention without being too bright. It was the only one of the dresses she had never worn before – she had bought it only days before she had fled from London – and it was simply the perfect choice for that day.

With the pile of clothing in her hands, she left the room again, locking the door behind her. She gave the key and the chain connected to it back to the barber, who pulled it over his head once more, pushing it beneath his shirt while he was still looking at her.

He opened a door that was somewhere in the middle of the hallway. He gestured her to go inside and she did so. When she had crossed the threshold, he closed the door behind her without following her, separating them with the wood that the door was made of. The baker was slightly disappointed – although she had sensed already that Mr. Todd wasn't going to follow her, she had secretly hoped that he would. He had basically suggested this to her the previous night, just before she had fallen asleep. She should have realized even then that he probably had only said it to persuade her to go to sleep, but it hadn't prevented her from hoping – indeed, there weren't many things that did.

But she knew very well that the barber and she had shared in less than one day already more than they had done in the lifetime before that. It didn't look like he was going to send her away soon and it was equally clear to her that at the speed their relationship was progressing now, they were bound to sleep together at last in the near future anyway.

She couldn't help but wish however that this was sooner than it actually would be. The day before, and even the night that had just ended, she had had her doubts – it just hadn't felt right for them to surrender body and soul to each at those moment. But now, feeling better than she had done for a very, very long time and having had a very good night of much needed sleep, she knew that she was ready. She just hoped that the barber too would be soon.

Those thoughts were forgotten however as soon as she turned around, away from the door, and took a good look at the room that she was currently in for the first time. It wasn't very big and there wasn't any kind of decoration, but even if there would've been, she wouldn't have noticed it for quite some time. Her eyes were drawn to the wooden bathtub that was standing in the middle of the room. From Mr. Todd's words she had concluded that the tub was quite large but not very much so. Now she found out that this had been quite an understatement. The tub was the biggest one she had ever seen. There was room for three people, at least – for two persons, it would be better than perfect. Her own tub – which was almost too small even for her, and was located in the eternally dark and unpleasant bakehouse – simply paled in comparison.

There was a lock on the door, a small and elegant key protruding from it, but she didn't pay any attention to it. There was no one else there and it was not as if Sweeney Todd would accidentally walk in as long as she was there. And even if he would, she wasn't the one who would be bothered by such a thing.

The tub was almost entirely filled with water, steam coming off its surface. A smile appeared on her face, the thought of a luxury such as taking a bath here making her happier than she already was, which was quite an accomplishment indeed. For a moment she closed her eyes, as if this was a dream after all and everything would have disappeared as soon as she opened them again.

But when she looked once more, everything was still there just like it had been before. After the short moment of darkness that closing her eyes had caused, it was only more clear how bright the room was. Here too the morning sun was spreading its warm light, reaching the room through a long and narrow window just below the ceiling, the glass made in a special, somewhat blurry way that prevented people from looking into the room – as far as they would do so on that height anyway.

Unable to wait any longer, the baker placed the pile of clothing that she was still carrying on a small table that she spotted in a corner of the small room. Without a second of hesitation, she pulled the nightdress over her head, just throwing it on the white tiles of the floor. Her stockings and her bloomers followed immediately after that and the baker held her breath in anticipation when she stepped towards the large tub.

There was a mirror next to the bathtub, probably there to make the process of unclothing and getting dressed again afterwards easier, but the baker didn't even glance now that she had freed her malnourished body from the now abundant layers of clothing.

Holding on to the smooth edges just in case, she carefully stepped into the tub, making sure not to lose her balance on the possibly slippery bottom. Her concerns weren't founded and after taking a few careful steps, she was ensured of the reliability of the wood beneath her feet.

Choosing a part of the tub that looked out on the window and the blue sky that could be seen behind it, Mrs. Lovett lowered herself in the hot water. It elicited a gasp from her when she did so, the feeling of being surrounded by such an amount of warm water being unlike anything she had ever experienced before. Just sitting there was a delight.

She was aware that she had never taken a bath such as glorious as this one. When she had lived with Teddy in Newcastle, even the pathetic excuse of a tub that she had owned when living in Fleet Street had become a luxury compared to the ways she had had to try to clean herself by then. In the end, just relatively fresh water had been rare.

Mrs. Lovett had planned to clean herself as quickly and as thoroughly as she could now that she was given the chance, but when she was actually sitting there, the warm water soothing her body until she felt too content to do anything, she decided to savor the unknown joy for a while first.

She closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the tub, its edge actually supporting her when she did so, as if it was specifically designed and made to enable this. The water warmed her body, the sun took care of whatever part of her that wasn't below the hot surface. Time passed, but not in the bathroom. As far as she was concerned, life couldn't get much better than this. Even Mr. Todd herself was forgotten temporarily when she surrendered to the heavenly warmth around her.

There was a sudden knock on the door. Her eyes flew open and panic rose within her, fearing that she had stayed here for longer than the barber had intended her to – and she hadn't even started washing herself.

"Yes?" she asked, hoping fervently that Sweeney wasn't angry with her and that he hadn't disappointed him in one way or another.

"Can I join you?"

No matter how much she had hoped that he would say something like this earlier, and no matter how likely it seemed that he would actually say something like this after all what had happened between them in the short but intense amount of time that had passed since their reunion, she was caught off guard by his request. For a few seconds, she was afraid that her heart had actually stopped beating. Her thoughts, having been reduced to an almost inexistent level only a moment ago, rushed through her mind, moving through her head with such speed that they left her dizzy.

The question he had asked could lead to several situations, but whatever he was going to do, whatever his attentions were, he wanted to come into the room. While she was there. Naked. The word 'join' suggesting that he actually wanted to be in the tub with her.

"Nellie?"

The concern was clear in his voice, but the baker was overwhelmed to the extent that speaking was difficult.

"Are you all right?"

"Y-yes," she managed at length.

"Do you want me to come in?"

His voice was softer now, more hesitant, as if he didn't believe that she actually wanted him to do so.

"I do," she replied, sounding as firm as she could – she was certain.

There was a moment during which happened nothing at all – Mrs. Lovett realized vaguely that she still wasn't breathing – and then the door was opened slowly.

Mrs. Lovett could only sit there, her head and shoulders reaching above the surface of the hot water, staring at the barber as if he was a ghost. Indeed, the way he appeared in the steam was a perhaps a bit supernatural, but there was nothing unreal about him when he approached her.

There was nothing left of the expressionless that she had seen earlier. Every inch of his face betrayed how much he wanted to be there, how glad he was that she was sitting in his tub – how much he wanted her.

The look on her face must've mirrored his own, for he didn't say or ask anything when he took off his vest, carelessly throwing the expensive material on the floor, where it ended up on top of her nightgown.

Mrs. Lovett was staring at him, not believing that this was actually happening, even though he was so close to her that she could've touched him if she would've moved to the other side of the tub and extended her hand.

Anything that required even the slightest physical or mental exertion however was impossible when she watched the man in front of her. Although he was still fully clothed except for the vest that was gone now, she had never seen him like this before. Benjamin Barker had always been dressed impeccably as soon as he left the room where he and his wife had lived. Sweeney Todd had been a lot less caring about such things, doubtlessly a result of having lived among many men in a rough environment for such a long time, but he had never undressed only partly in front of her, not even when he needed to change his blood soaked shirt. He always waited until she was gone, as if he was somehow aware after all how much she longed to see just a few inches of the skin that was always hidden away from her eyes. The barber had even always made sure not to stand too close to the large window of his room, as if he had known that she often stood in the street, looking up with the hope of casting only the vaguest of glances on him.

All of this was banished to the past forever now. As if he had done countless of times already - which he had of course, but not when she could see it - his hands reached for the buttons of his shirt. Nimble fingers undid them one by one. It appeared to her that his hands were shaking lightly, but this might as well be only an illusion, caused by the way she was shivering a little herself now, even as the greater part of her body was still surrounded by hot water.

Inch after inch of his chest was exposed, one bit of pale skin at a time. His movements were slow, considered, driving the baker wild with impatience. If he would've been just a bit closer to her, she would've ripped the fabric right off his body, but now she couldn't do anything but stare.

At last, the white fabric was shrugged on the floor as well, revealing his torso to her for the very first time. Not even aware of it, her mouth fell open as she took in his exposed upper body with large, eager eyes. His skin was just as pale as she had expected after having studied his face earlier; it was very light without being too pale or gray. There were scars, but not as many as she had expected. The ones that were there didn't diminish his perfection in any way. If anything, it added to his beauty, showing the path he had been forced to take, the proof of his survival and the transformation he had gone through.

What she paid most attention to however was the shape of his upper body. It had always been covered by multiple layers of rather loose material, making it quite difficult even for her to guess what was underneath it. And guessed she had, but just like so many other things about him, her fantasies were nothing compared to the real thing. He was leaner than she had thought, even at his current age, but the well defined muscles that were slightly visible just below his skin, showed that he was anything but weak or small.

He was staring at her as well, eyes taking her in as if he wanted to devour her by just looking at her. She was too occupied with looking at him to realize that nothing but her head and shoulders were protruding from the water in the tub, but that the liquid was as clear as it could be now that there wasn't any soap added to it yet.

As the barber reached for the buttons of his trousers, Mrs. Lovett was afraid for a moment that she was going to faint. Her head was light because of the high temperature in the room, that was still increasing drastically now that Mr. Todd was there, undressing himself right in front of her eyes. Breathing was difficult with all the steam flowing around, unable to go anywhere as long as the door and the window that she just had seen were closed. And she needed the air more than she had ever done before in her life.

Mouth still open, she watched him with eyes that were both unbelieving and desperate for him to continue. She had thought that the barber couldn't possibly tempt her any more than when he had done already, especially when they had been in the alley, pressed against the wall of their former home, and he caressed the most intimate part of her through the fabric of her bloomers. It was the same area that began to throb now at the mere sight of him, standing in front of her like that.

Never taking his eyes off her, he undid the buttons of his trousers. Once he was done, his movements having been considerably faster than when he had done the same with the buttons of his shirt, the black material simply fell on the floor as well. He stepped out of it, closing some of the distance that was still between the baker and himself.

Standing almost right in front of her and wearing nothing but his underwear, it became very clear to Mrs. Lovett that she wasn't the only one who was aroused. And still, she could only stare, a part of her not believing that he was really going to undress fully, even when she knew that he was, that he was going all the way now that hehad started this.

His hands went to the last layer of fabric that was still covering him. They paused for a moment, only to push it down with determination when whatever it was that had caused him to hesitate had passed.

The baker felt as if she was choking on her own breath when Mr. Todd was standing fully naked in front of her. She hadn't meant to do it, telling herself with a voice that was hardly audible now that her mind was reduced to nothing that it would be rude to ogle him as soon as she had the chance.

But as he was simply standing there like that without the slightest hint of awkwardness or shyness, she couldn't help but look, her eyes growing even larger when she took in the proof of his arousal for that very first time. He was beautiful.

He took another step closer to her, his knees almost touching the opposite edge of the tub now. She could still only stare, eyes darting to other parts of his body that she had never seen before, but always drawn back soon to the part of him that she wanted to touch the most, that she wanted to feel deep inside of her because only that could bring them as together as was possible and give her the completion she had been craving for the greater part of her life.

Sweeney remained standing still however and eventually she became aware of this as well. No matter how incredible it was to look at him like this - she could indeed look at him for hours without ever growing tired of it - she wanted him to come into the tub as well, so she could touch him, become one with him.

Only when her gaze shifted back to his eyes, she realized that he was looking at her in the same way she had admired him. Only now it dawned on her that the water she was sitting in was as see-through as the air that was still separating them. Her breath quickened further when she read in his eyes that he enjoyed what he was seeing as much as she did.

He too managed to tear his eyes away from the most private parts of her body at last, blinking as if he couldn't truly believe that he was actually seeing this. His expression was still as dazzled as it had been before, but the determination that she had been aware of earlier had appeared again as well.

At last, he too climbed into the tub, lowering himself into the water just like she had done a short while ago. Although she still could see his entire body because of the transparentness of the water and the same went for him, the baker and the barber were looking each other straight in the eyes now.

She was too overpowered to understand what she read in his gaze. It was a combination of many things – of good things, that she was certain of. But she didn't have the concentration to find out what he was thinking and feeling. It didn't matter however – there was only one thing that did.

Unable to contain herself any longer, to waste even more second now that so many years – decades – of unrequited longing had passed, she moved forward. She basically launched herself at him, sending waves of steaming water sending over the edge of the tub as she did so.

Mrs. Lovett straddled him, almost screaming at the feeling of his length brushing against the core of her desire for the very first time. The barber reacted similarly, desperate arms wrapping themselves around her body, pulling her closer to him when he crashed his mouth against hers.

The kiss was just as hungry and rough as the very first one they had shared. There was nothing tender or gentle about it as both of them were completely overtaken by their desire for each other, needing to achieve the completion that both of them had been so desperate for at last now that they had found a good moment for it after all.

The kiss was hardly a pleasant one at all. The ones they had shared in his house the day before and even that very morning had been much more enjoyable, hadn't been painful and messy like this one was. But this wasn't about kissing after all, so it didn't matter that they bit each other's lips to the point of bleeding, scratched each other's backs in an attempt to get a proper hold of their bodies, slick with water, sweat and steam. She wasn't even thinking about the scar on his leg, but even if she would've hurt the barber, he would've been too preoccupied to notice.

Mr. Todd managed to move a hand between their two bodies, now pressed against one another. Her cupped one of her breasts, kneading it fiercely. She groaned in a way of which she had never known that she could, hot jolts of desire spreading through her entire body until it felt like she was on fire, the flames of the barber's touch consuming her. Hardly aware that she was doing so, she rubbed her entire body against Sweeney's in an attempt to get even closer to him.

Only when he almost screamed her name, she realized that she hadn't only rubbed her breasts against his chest, but that her thighs and the part between them had slid against him as well.

His voice alone was something that she could consider and think about for a very long time. There were so many emotions audible in it that it would've made her dizzy even if she had been in the bath all by herself and had no idea that events such as the current ones were even remotely possible. But the only part of it that she recognized was the blind need that he felt, a need that she shared completely and took over everything else that made her to who she was.

Without thinking, she reached for his length and guided the tip inside of her, taking him in fully by slamming her body down on his as soon as she had the chance.

Both of them cried out as she did so, their loud voices mixing in the sunlit bathroom. As she looked down, almost not believing herself that the barber and she were finally connected in this ultimate way, she saw the look in his eyes from out of the corner of her own. It seemed to her as if he was truly wild with desire and pleasure, his hands now bruising her hips as he hold on to her. It made her forget about the discomfort she felt herself when being invaded like this without proper preparation, for many years her most similar activity having been thinking of what they were doing now.

Her body torn between pleasure and discomfort, she moved up slightly, only to receive his full length again, and again. The barber's hands seemed to be trying to slow her down, to make an end to her frantic rhythm. But even though the intimate movements weren't yet as pleasurable for her as she wanted them to be, she couldn't stop. For so long she had longed for this and now that this was happening after all, under circumstances that were so different from the ones she had always made up, her body could only act as if she was still in a situation like the ones she had imagined. A situation where the barber didn't even really want to do this and where she had to pleasure him as much and as quickly as she could, before he would change his mind and leave her anyway. And even if her mind still would have been functioning at that point, it would've told her to hurry anyway, before the moment of moments would be ruined once again by oblivious bystanders.

Even if Nellie would've been actually aware that neither of them could go on like this for long, she wouldn't have been able to care. This was so much better than she had ever thought it to be to begin with, even though she didn't share his delight, sacrificing hers for his. Just looking at his face however was completely worth it. His eyes were shut tightly but hers were wide open, staring at him even as she moved her body up and down to create the friction that was overpowering him like nothing else had ever done.

The expression on his face was one of ultimate bliss. Even the baker couldn't think of another way to describe it. His head was tilted back, resting against the edge of the tub, having surrendered both body and soul to her. It was not as if his body was capable of anything else, but she felt that he would expose himself to her like this even if it would've been. And for once, his expression was completely open, features betraying just how much he loved this.

It was over very soon. It was not she had any awareness of the passing of time anyway, and he certainly hadn't. But just when she eased herself down on him once again, slightly wincing now, he groaned louder than he had done before, his back arching as his hips suddenly moved upwards, trusting against hers more powerfully than before. The baker almost lost her balance because of this, reaching for him for support, and they collided somewhere in between.

Mr. Todd wrapped his arms around her, howling her name as he found release. They clung to each other as he shook almost violently, claiming her in that way he had never done before.

Completely spent, he slumped back against the edge of the tub, pulling her with him. She followed him gladly, needing to hold on to him herself, if only to believe that this had actually happened. The slight ache between her legs was real enough, but that still wasn't something she had the chance to think about now that Sweeney was in her arms, his body trembling with aftershocks of the pleasure that she had been responsible for.

His head was resting on her shoulder. It wasn't something that hadn't happened before – or at least, very recently – but this time was completely different. It now seemed to her that he actually had to let her support parts of his body, because he was for the moment too weak to do so himself, as if she had left him boneless. It was obvious to her as well however that he didn't only leaned on her because he had to, but most of all because he wanted to.

Even as several minutes passed, his eyes remained close, his breath slowing down only very gradually. The baker simply held him, caressing his exhausted body as her mind tried to catch up with what just had happened.

"You... you didn't have to do that."

Those were his first words since he had asked her if she wanted him to join her. She looked at him, shocked to see some disappointment in his eyes.

"Nellie," he said, caressing her hips gently as he became aware of the distress that his words had caused. "I have imagined this very often. But it was never like this."

"I did imagine it like this," she said softly, the happiness she had felt earlier because the barber and she had finally sealed their relationship disappearing quickly when he didn't seem to be glad because of what had happened – or at least, not the way in which it had happened.

"Nellie..."

Instead of continuing to talk to her to try to make clear what he was trying to say, he kissed her. The movement of his lips and soon his tongue where soft and gentle once more, containing the tenderness that their frantic coupling had lacked. It made the baker feel more at ease, telling her that he didn't regret that he had slept with her.

"The way I imagined it was very good – for both of us."

The baker felt relieved now that she finally understood what he was trying to say. At the same time she couldn't help but think that Mr. Todd seemed to be exaggerating his own capabilities. She remembered indeed that what he had suggested the previous evening had been quite the opposite of what just had happened.

"I don't think we would've been able to do that," she said carefully, knowing now that he wished that what just had happened would've been slower and longer, not wanting to suggest that he would be the one incapable of that.

He considered her words for a moment, then nodded slowly, sighing as he did so.

"You're right. Something like this was bound to happen, I'm afraid. But I had just hoped that..."

He looked at her, pushing a few of soaked curls behind her ear.

"I hoped that we could've found a way to make this equally enjoyable for both of thus."

"I don't think that would've worked," she replied quietly, "certainly not for us."

Even now, she was surprised that this had happened – and at the same time she felt that a spontaneous moment would've been the only kind that would be able to persuade both of them to fully give in to their desire for each other at last. The mere idea of the two of them actually considering this togetherthis was an impossible one indeed, if only because they probably would've ended up in a situation very much like the current one before they had even fully began to think about it.

"You're right," he said. "Again."

He looked sad however, as if he personally blamed himself for what had happened, that he hadn't been able to give her the pleasure that he felt she deserved.

"But I can't help but thinking, if you would've gone slower – much slower – I would've been able to..."

"Don't say that," she whispered, remembering the look in his eyes when he had settled himself in the bathtub. "Neither of us would've... you know that control isn't my strongest point."

She was quiet for a moment, considering her next words carefully.

"We can try to... there will be a next time, won't there?"

"Most certainly," he said, not having to think about his answer at all. "If you want to."

"You silly man," she sighed, the mere idea of her not wanting to repeat this wondering if the barber was perhaps just as thick as he used to be after all.

She moved closer to him, intending to embrace him and give him the rest that she presumed he needed now.

"Of course I want to," she added, seeing the confused expression on his face, as if he truly didn't know whether she wanted to have him again in the future.

There was a hint of actual happiness on his face as she said this, for the first time since he had entered the bathroom.

"We will be all right," she whispered, knowing that it was true as long as the barber continued to be who he was now – and she had no reason to believe that he wouldn't.

"We will," he said, brushing his lips against her forehead.

She sighed happily, her last worries regarding the barber's apparent disappointment fading to the background of her mind as he did so.

Mr. Todd's breath had finally slowed down to its normal speed and there seemed to return some strength in his weakened limbs. He pulled her closer to him, moving two possessive arms around her and guiding her head to his shoulder. The slight pain she had felt earlier was forgotten when he embraced her like this, just like the disappointment she had felt because he apparently hadn't enjoyed their first time as much as she had hoped.

"We will," she repeated, wanting to make clear to him that she believed him and, most of all, how much she wanted him to be convinced of this.

"But I just don't think that it works for us to do... this slowly," she added, wanting to get that strange idea out of the barber's head. It was too bizarre for words that his regret was not that he had slept with her in the first place, but that she hadn't enjoyed it as much as he had because he hadn't lasted long enough to achieve that.

"You may be right again. But either way, we aren't finished here yet."