Reader: Be the buck-toothed human boy.

I'm sorry but it appears you can't be the buck-toothed human boy, only the buck-toothed human boy can be the buck-toothed human boy; and that's exactly who he'll be. But wait, this buck-toothed human boy has a name, you know! But it appears I've forgotten it. What's his name again?

Enter name.

Zoosmell Pooplord_

TRY AGAIN, SMARTASS.

This human's name is John Egbert, and John's been waiting for the weekend to come all week long. He always waited in excitement for the weekend to come, but this weekend was particularly special. This Saturday, a new friend was coming over to watch some of the greatest movies of all time, with the greatest actor of all time, Nick Cage.

All his life, trolls were accepted as a common thing. While he didn't necessarily understand their culture, he did know that they'd been there on this planet as long as the humans had, and he saw them as equals, just about the same as everyone else did. The two races accepted each other, and yet there was this unspoken rule that in school, young trolls and human children just... Didn't hang out together.

You just didn't.

So John was pretty excited when he'd ended up sitting next to a grumpy troll (who he'd learned was named "Karkat") in his math class. Being the friendly chump he was, he and Karkat had eventually ended up getting to know each other, to the point where John referred to him as a friend, despite Karkat's nasty, snarky comments. John took him no more seriously than anyone else did.

Speaking of Karkat, Kar was the one coming over to watch these wondrous movies. John hurried home, grinning a buck-toothed, goofy grin as he ran inside, past his dad who appeared to be getting started on yet another cake, and up the stairs to his room. He haphazardly tossed his bag across the room, narrowly missing his open window. He immediately started digging through his messy home for the best of the best.

He and Karkat had kind of a rivalry thing going on- they kept insisting that one species's movies were better than the other. Though John figured they were both probably equally great, Karkat really insisted on the fact that troll movies were better. John's troll friend was bringing the best of his movies over as well, and they were really gonna see who had the better tastes.

While Kar viewed it as a competition, John thought of it as nothing other than fun.

However, before he could get really into looking for the best movies to present to his grouchy friend, his computer alerted him to a new message, and when he saw who it was from, he cringed a little inside. Then again, this person who kept bugging him did remind him of a certain troll who's name began with a K...

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -

CG: HEY YOU

CG: YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT

EB: oh god not you again

CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

CG: WAIT NEVERMIND, I DON'T CARE

CG: LOOK AT ALL THESE FUCKS I GIVE

CG: THAT IS TO SAY, NONE

EB: yeah i get that hehehehe

CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING AT YOU STUPID NOOKSTAIN

EB: nothing! i just think you're kinda funny is all

CG: FUCK YOU

CG: I'M HERE WITH IMPORTANT NEWS TO TELL YOU

CG: NOT THAT YOUR FUCKING RETARDED, SMALL BRAIN COULD HANDLE IT

CG: BUT I TRY

EB: go on?

CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP

CG: ANYWAYS, IT LOOKS LIKE I WON'T BE ABLE TO TROLL YOU WITH MY INCREDIBLE SKILLS FOR A DAY OR SO

EB: awww

EB: i like our conversations

CG: OH MY GOG JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY AND LISTEN OKAY

CG: I'LL BE BACK BEFORE TOO LONG

CG: SO DON'T DO A GRACEFUL FUCKING PIROUETTE-SWAN-DIVE OFF THE DEEP END

CG: I MEAN I KNOW IT'LL BE HARD FOR YOU TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I'M NOT HERE TO DEMOLISH YOUR SELF ESTEEM

CG: BUT WE ALL HAVE TO DEAL WITH SEPARATION SOME TIME SOONER OR LATER

EB: well have fun with whatever you're doing!

CG: AND IT'S NOT LIKE I'LL BE GONE FOREV-

CG: OH

CG: RIGHT

CG: UHH YEAH

CG: I WILL

CG: I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, FUCKASS

EG: bye!

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -

Chuckling, John got off of his computer and went back to picking out a movie. That CG kid was a ball of rage, but Egbert still liked their conversations, from time to time. Now, which Nick Cage movie to blow away Karkat's mind...?