Chapter 9: Explanations
The silence was nearly deafening. Not to mention the annoying love filled glances Emmett and Rose were sending each other. I sighed and rolled my eyes.
"As much as I love this little love fest, I'm gonna go start dinner. Lily, wanna help?" I asked, outstretching my hand to her. She nodded her head and smiled brightly at me, taking my hand we walked to the kitchen. She plopped down on the one of the breakfast bar chairs and watched me curiously. She was something else all right.
"What would you like for dinner, Lil?" I asked her, leaning on my elbows in front of her. She thought about it, eyes roaming the kitchen, sparkling bright. I glanced at the clock it was only 6, okay, three hours.
"Mac-y cheese." She giggled. I smiled, "okay kiddo," and kissed the top of her head. I moved swiftly around the kitchen. Knowing exactly what I needed to do and when I needed to do it. Something that had definitely carried over from my high school days when I would make dinner for Charlie every night. The kitchen was my safe haven, if you will. Lily watched me work in near amazement.
"You look happy." Emmett's voice made me pause. "In the kitchen, I mean, you look peaceful." Him and I both knew that he didn't just mean me being in the kitchen.
"I am." I said, cutting up the garlic bread.
"Good. I'm glad." He said, I looked up at him, he was leaning arms crossed against the door pane. I couldn't help but notice how it seemed like he was choking on the word 'glad'. I groaned and put the knife down, a little harder than I intended to after I saw Lily jump.
"Look, Emmett, I don't know what you want me to say. Yeah, I'm happy. I have a nice life here, a good job, friends, people that love me."
"I want an explanation." He told me, using his arms for emphasis.
"Why?" I sighed, exasperated. It was years ago, a lifetime ago.
"Because you left," he said, hurt, "without even saying goodbye. Without even having the decency to break the news to us face to face. Because you left." His voice had trailed off into a broken whisper.
"I couldn't tell you in person because I would have changed my mind, right there on the spot. I had to get away, Emmett, I had to figure everything out. On my own. And if I saw all your sad faces it would have literally broken me. Is that what you want to hear? That I'm a chicken shit who couldn't face what was really going on in my life so I ran. I was a coward, Emmett, that's your explanation. Are you happy now?"
We were both silent, letting all that was said sink in. I hadn't noticed that Rose had joined us at some point, but there she was, standing behind Emmett. Her blue eyes boring into mine, but I couldn't bare make eye contact. The timer for the oven sounded and the oven shut off, no one moved.
I then felt a tug on my sleeve; I looked down and saw Lily looking up at me.
"Auntie." She said, motioning for me to pick her up. I obliged, of course, one could not deny those baby blues. When she was solid in my arms, she wrapped hers around mine and squeezed. "Don't be sad." She whispered in my ear. I squeezed her back and sighed.
"Dinner's ready." I said, putting Lily down into her chair at the table. Everyone followed suit in silence. I got the mac'n'cheese out of the oven and put it in the middle of the table.
"Well, dig in now, I'm not handing out personal invitations." I grumbled. Emmett and Rose both cracked a smile, the tension not all gone, but far from their minds. For now.
