there's always somebody there for a laugh
then you're the only one that's left
now that's what you get, left behind in a wreck
He was kissing her. Oh, God, Auggie was kissing her.
Annie knew she should feel upset about this, because she wasn't one of those girls that fell all over him, that succumbed to his carefully practiced seductions. No, she was his best friend, damn it, she was immune to that kind of thing.
Except she wasn't, apparently. Because she hadn't pushed him away yet. He dragged his wet lips against her startled, half-open mouth, and a pleasing jolt traveled from her mouth all the way down her spine.
She'd seen this coming, sort of. Definitely after he'd said "okay", but maybe before that, too, if she was honest with herself. She'd known something was coming as soon as she'd glanced over a few minutes ago and seen his face staring fixedly and blankly at the far corner of the room. She'd thought he was upset about something at work, or just tired of the show.
He definitely wasn't supposed to start kissing her. But he was, and she couldn't help but feel that these kisses didn't seem planned or practiced. His tongue was tracing her lips, and somehow it felt simultaneously urgent and unhurried. Before she could think about it she was letting hers slide forward as well. After the initial shock wore off, she couldn't help but tilt her head to meet him in an ardent and awkward rhythm, and even found herself biting down on his lower lip as he let it linger too close to her teeth.
She heard herself moan softly as he pulled away, and took what seemed like years to shift his weight. Not being able to stop herself, she arched her back a little against him when he bent down again and his tongue invaded her mouth anew. Oh, god, this was already out of control. She thought fleetingly of Ben, how disgusted she'd been with herself to realize, months later, how horribly weak she'd been with him. She knew she couldn't go back to feeling that helpless, but here she was, underneath Auggie, feeling like she was drowning and the only thing she could think of to do was breath in more water.
After a number more (two? ten? she didn't know) of slow, sizzling kisses, he pulled away again, and Annie's world spun. He was leaving, she thought wildly, things would never be the same again. He'd realized that this had been a mistake, and the last real thing she heard from him would be some incomplete explanation for why he had to go.
"Annie," he said, softly and seriously, and she felt slapped despite expecting it.
"Annie, my arm kinda hurts," Auggie whispered. "I'm sorry, can you...?" Annie stared at him for a second in incomprehension, and then said, intelligently, "What?"
He paused, and smiled at her, and then, bracing his free arm against the corner of the couch, lifted and twisted them both, his hand never leaving her spine. When they had resettled, Annie realized that she was laying nearly flat on top of him, her thighs straddling his abdomen. She glanced up to find that Auggie had one arm tossed casually behind his head as a makeshift pillow, clearly with no plans to go anywhere soon, and his eyes gazing down at her unnervingly.
She knew he couldn't actually see her, and furthermore, that he had no idea of the brief trip to abandonment issues crazyland that had just happened in her head, but the embarrassment still stung just enough that her cheeks flooded with color, and she tried to pull away. He made a quiet noise of dissent, and tightened his arm around her back.
"Going somewhere?" he asked mildly. His hips were bony, pressing into the flesh of her inner thighs, and his chest was solid and warm beneath her forearms as she propped herself up to squint at him in the dim, flickering light of the television. She was suddenly intimately aware of just how many places at which their bodies were touching, and was scared at how she was almost to the point of not caring if he would disappear tomorrow.
She pushed off of his chest one more time, but instead of her upper body getting further away from him, her hips just slipped further down on his, and she blushed even more, thanking any god out there that at least he would never know how pink she was.
"I - no, I guess not," Annie said, feeling disoriented at his casual possessiveness. "Auggie, what...what just happened?"
"Well," Auggie said, mockingly ponderous, "you asked me what I was thinking, and I asked if you really wanted to know, and you said yes, so, I showed you. I could show you again if you like." He smirked up at her.
She longed to say yes. To laugh, and say, yes, please, show me again. Take me back under. But reality was continuing to come flooding back despite the distraction of straddling him, and Annie was starting to think that visit to her abandonment issues crazyland hadn't been so crazy after all. None of his relationships lasted any length of time, and hers...well, the few she'd had were even less long-lived. Eventually this would fall apart, and then what? She wouldn't have her best friend.
"I - I don't think that's a good idea," she said shakily, her mind already showing her exactly how lonely and hard work would be when things got awkward between them. It was taking more and more effort to regulate her breathing, and terrified that he would hear her, Annie pushed away from him once more, this time with surprising force. He let his arm slip away from her, looking bewildered, and Annie stumbled to her feet next to the couch.
