Woeful Wizards Prisoner of Azkaban Episode Eight

Scene 1:

[Harry and Ron are having tea with Hagrid]

Ron: How are you (s) feeling, Hagrid?

Hagrid: I dare say that I have felt better.

Harry: Yeah. (s) Listen, Hagrid, how's Buckbeak going?

Hagrid: Methinks that he is not yet aware of his doomed fate, so I implore you not to make him aware.

Harry: Right, right.

[They all take an awkward sip of tea]

Hagrid: Lend me your ears.

[Harry and Ron lean forward.]

Hagrid: Hermione has often come to my hut to assist me in the quest to find a pardon for Buckbeak. She is awfully upset that you have excluded her from your various gatherings.

Ron: (s and angrily) Her cat ate my rat!

Hagrid: That may be so, but the cat acted as all cats are inclined to act. You cannot, and will not blame Hermione for that.

Ron: (taken aback) Oh.

Hagrid: And Harry, stop calling her fat.

Harry: (frowns) … okay.

[Triumphant music]

Scene 2:

[Draco and the gang are sitting sulkily around the Slytherin dormitories]

Draco: (s) Well that was a waste of time.

Goyle: Really? (s) It was fun while it lasted.

Crabbe: (happily) Yeah, being a woman is fun.

Draco: But what did we (s) earn from it?

Goyle: Detention?

Draco: (sneeringly) And circle gets the square.

Crabbe: You're awful (s) tense, Draco. You know what'll cheer you up?

Draco: (frowning in a confused way) Drugs?

Crabbe: NO! (s) SHOPPING!

[Crabbe skips off]

Draco: What? (s) But I…

Goyle: Hush. Let's (s) indulge him.

[Dramatic music]

Scene 3:

[At breakfast in the Great Hall. Harry and Ron are sitting together. Hermione is off to the side.]

Harry: But it definitely is faster than any other broom.

[Ron says nothing]

Harry: Ron? RON!

Ron: Sorry. (s) It's just, she keeps on looking at us so.

Harry: (icily) She's no business of ours, Ron.

Ron: I suppose… (s) But what about what Hagrid said?

Harry: (s) Do you doubt my word?

Ron: (immeadiately) Never.

Harry: (s)… good.

[They each eat their food without breaking eye contact with each other.]

Scene 4:

[Harry and Ron are just outside the Shrieking Shack. Harry is "invisible".]

Ron: (whistles) Wow.

Harry: I wonder if it's (s) locked?

Ron: What's an animagus?

[Draco and the gang come in, evidently just after some hardcore shopping]

Draco: You were right (s) Crabbe. I do feel better.

Goyle: Hey, (points to Ron) look who's here.

Draco: Great. (rubs hands together and s) Some entertainment.

[Ron turns around and notices Draco.]

Ron: (s) Malfoy.

Draco: (s) Weasley.

Harry: (to himself) How dare he insult my friend like that!

[Harry goes off screen momentarily]

Crabbe: Oi, Draco.

Draco: (s) What?

Crabbe: Good one.

[Draco blushes and Harry reappears carrying a sword.]

Draco: (turns to Ron) As I was saying, you are-

Harry: (booming voice) YOU SHALL NO LONGER SULLY THE GINGER'S HONOUR!

[Harry ensues to attack Draco and the gang. Goyle and then Crabbe fall, each spurting a great deal of blood]

Draco: (s) Show yourself, fiend!

[Draco lunges, just misses Harry and accidentally pulls off the cloak.]

Harry: Oh no! (Raises hands to face) My identity has been revealed!

Draco: (looking up at Harry) Harry?

Harry: (s) I must flee!

[Harry flees. Crabbe and Goyle both apparently continue to die. Ron hesitates, then runs away as well. Draco collapses into sobs. Dramatic music]

Scene 5:

[Hermione is in the library, reading a book at a table. Neville comes up to her.]

Neville: 'sup.

Hermione: (glares at Neville) OH MY MERLIN NEVILLE. CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?

Neville: (shrugs and takes out a cigarette) Eh.

Hermione: FINE. (Shuts book with a slam and gets up) HERE'S MY VAMPIRE ESSAY. (Drops a piece of paper on the desk) NOW GO AWAY.

[Hermione stalks off.]

Neville: (Looks at completed essay) Sweet. (Starts smoking.)

Scene 6:

[Harry is in Snape's office. Snape is standing there, looking bored.]

Snape: So, Malfoy said he saw you at Hogsmeade.

Harry: (s) I DENY IT!

Snape: Malfoy also says that you have slaughtered his friends.

Harry: (s) I DENY IT!

Snape: You're so like your father.

Harry: (looks shocked and then angry) How dare you…

Snape: But where did you get the Zonko's products?

[Ron bursts in. Applause.]

Ron: (s) I got them for him!

Snape: Huh. But what about this? (Holds up the Marauder's Map.)

Harry: (shrugs) How am I supposed to know?

Snape: (points wand at Map) Reveal your secrets!

[Close up to Map. On it says; "You smell".]

Snape: Why, I never! (shouts) LUPIN!

Lupin: (offscreen) WHAT?

Snape: COME HERE.

Lupin: (offscreen) OKAY. (Lupin enters after a pause) Yes, Snape?

Snape: (holding up Map) What is this?

Lupin: (stares at it for a moment, then snatches it from Snape) I don't know, but it's mine now.

Snape: (shrugs) Fine.

[Snape exits]

Harry: (s) Wow.

Ron: That was so (s) intense.

Lupin: Harry. Come here. Ginger, leave.

[Ron exits]

Lupin: Listen, Harry, be careful. This is a dangerous piece of parchment. Sirius Black might get it.

Harry: Who?

[Dramatic music]

Scene 6:

[Draco is in the hospital wing, staring at both Crabbe and Goyle's sleeping figures. Note: They are obviously breathing]

Draco: (sobbing) I can't believe my two best friends in the whole world are dead.

[Pomfrey walks in]

Pomfrey: (points at Crabbe and Goyle) THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY ALIVE.

[Pomfrey walks off.]

Crabbe: (stirring) Draco?

Draco: (rushes forward to hold Crabbe's hand) Yes?

Crabbe: I… I just want you to (weak s) know…

Draco: (crying) What?

Crabbe: If I go the chance to do it over, I would have done it again. All the mess ups, everything.

Draco: (As Crabbe starts to fall asleep again and crying) So would I, Vincent, so would I.

Scene 7:

[Harry and Ron are walking down a corridor]

Harry: And it's even more comfortable than my old broom.

[Hermione rushes up to them.]

Harry: (s) What is it, chubby?

Hermione: (crying) It's… it's…

Ron: (worried) Sirius Black?

Harry: (equally as worried) Draco?

Hermione: No, it's Buckbeak. (s) He's been sentenced to death.

[Hermione bursts into more tears and flings her arms around Ron]

Hermione: I'm so sorry about Scabbers.

Ron: That's… that's okay. (awkwardly strokes Hermione's back)

Harry: (s) Wow. (Pause in which all can be heard is Hermione's sobbing) I'm going to leave.

[Harry goes away. Ron continues to hold a now inconsolable Hermione. Dramatic music]

END OF EPISODE EIGHT