Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Monk. This story is just for fun.
Adrian was still living at his old apartment. He had often talked about moving again, but nothing ever came from it. Last Christmas, Adrian Monk actually woke up in a good mood. He was never happy about Christmas, but this time he had Molly to look forward to… He even was looking forward to seeing his friends… Especially Natalie. He couldn't wait to spend this wonderful day with the woman who had been there for him for so many years. He kept thinking of her in the back of his mind no matter what he was doing. He could be vacuuming, walking, or even scrutinizing the tiniest details of a disturbing crime scene and her smiling face would always be there. In fact, for the past couple of months, he couldn't stop thinking about her at all.
The festivities had gone on pretty late. Everyone laughed, danced and shared stories. Leland drank egg-nog while watching the game, Natalie had surprised Adrian by pulling a big red Santa had over his head when she walked in the door. Everyone was feeling the Christmas cheer and had a great time. They visited Ambrose for lunch, had Christmas dinner at Adrian's, and exchanged presents. It was a perfect day. Adrian felt thrilled that he could finally say that Christmas was enjoyable.
"Well, It's getting late… We still have to stop by my Aunts house…" T.K. said gently tapping Leland's knee. The festivities were dying down. TK and Leland were watching the game, Adrian and Julie were playing a game of chess, Natalie was boxing up leftovers, and Sharona had fallen asleep on Randy's lap under the Christmas tree. Randy looked down at his watch.
"Wow! It's already 9:30… our flight leaves tomorrow pretty early, I have to be back to the grind on Monday…. I wish I could stay longer!" Randy said as Sharona began to stir. Shortly after that, everyone left one by one and they exchanged bear hugs and heartfelt goodbyes.
"Ready to go, mom?" Julie said pulling the keys out of her bag. Natalie and Adrian had retired to the sofa, and she started playing with a brain-teaser that Randy had given him.
"Oh, I'll be home in an hour or so… Just gonna help Mr. Monk clean up this mess." She responded.
"Okay, mom… Drive safe." Julie said turning away with a smirk. She had suspected that her mom was really going to tidy up the mess of course, but she had also suspected something else for a long time, too. That Mr. Monk and her mother… Well, she didn't know exactly. But she had a sneaking suspicion they were maybe more than just friends, if even just a little. She would catch them flirting with each other (or at least, Mr. Monks version of flirting), and there was no doubt about it they had they're 'moments'. She had caught them more than once holding hands, and sometimes he would put his arm around her. There was even the one time Julie saw him kiss her mother's forehead out of the corner of her eye. Nothing serious, but definitely different for Mr. Monk… Then again, a lot of things about him were different now.
Julie left the apartment and Adrian and Natalie sat aloof on the cozy couch. The lights were dim, and shredded bits of colorful wrapping paper lay all over the room. The Christmas tree's lights illuminated the room with warm hues, and the TV was turned to some Christmas special with the volume so low, it was barely audible. Adrian turned off the TV and let out a long sigh. As much as he loved the company of his friends, he also liked being able to enjoy the peace and quiet when they would leave. It was unusually warm in the apartment that evening. Warm and cozy. Natalie continued to play with the puzzle.
"You know, when I was a little girl… I used to sit right next to the Christmas tree at night, with all the lights off in the room and just stare at the Christmas lights and ornaments… I would imagine that there were little houses and towns in there where faeries lived. … Did you ever imagine anything like that?" Natalie asked.
"…No." Adrian replied dryly.
"Oh, come on. You never felt any Christmas magic at all as a kid, not even a teeny bit?" Natalie asked.
"No, not really…" Adrian said nonchalantly. Natalie frowned, feeling a twinge of sadness at Adrian's bleak remark.
"…But I feel it now." He continued. Natalie leaned against him, shoulder to shoulder.
"Good. And now is what matters, right?" Natalie said looking up at him sweetly.
"I suppose so…" He said smirking.
"This thing is… Harder than it looks!" Natalie exclaimed, still frustrated with the puzzle. Adrian rolled his eyes with a grin.
"Let me see." He exclaimed motioning for her to give it to him. She handed it right over. She looked down to adjust the Christmas shawl she was using as a blanket and by the time she had looked up the puzzle was solved! Adrian was staring at her with a smug grin on his face.
"You never cease to amaze me… Ade!" Natalie said with a giggle. Monk paused and raised his eyebrows.
"…Ade?" He said, his grin dropping.
"Ade… It's short for 'Adrian'. Haven't you ever wanted a nickname?" Natalie laughed.
"No… I don't do nicknames." He said slowly and in all seriousness.
"Oh never mind… I don't like it either…" Natalie said sitting up. The egg-nog must not have worn off yet, he thought… but even he was more relaxed than usual. The fact that Natalie had stayed behind had turned Adrian's already great day into a wonderful evening.
"So… Are you going to help me tidy up this mess?" Adrian honestly didn't care about the mess. He could ignore it if Natalie was here.
"Tidy up? …Oh! …Oh we can do that tomorrow!" Natalie said.
"But you told Julie you were staying to help me." Adrian responded.
"Well, if you're gonna arrest me for not cleaning, than go ahead… arrest me!" Natalie said. They both laughed. Adrian was relieved… Natalie didn't seem to show any signs of leaving, despite her decision to not help him clean.
"Oh, Natalie…If it had been over a year ago you had said that to me… I actually would have… Well, I couldn't have done it myself, but I would have called the Captain…" Adrian joked back with her. He felt a flood of emotions as he saw Natalie's face light up with a smile. He couldn't help but smile back. Natalie had realized that this past year had been really, really good for him. Solving Trudy's case and meeting Molly seemed to free him of most of the bonds that kept him locked into his fears and compulsions, but Natalie knew better. He had it in him all along. Anyone who had known him well could have told you that. There was no denying that for the couple of years before solving Trudy's case, he was already significantly better. Natalie had suspected that Adrian would have eventually started overcoming his troubles with or without knowing who had killed his beloved late wife. Whatever the case, Natalie was happy for him. He had even gained some significant social skills! He was no Don Juan, but he had learned to be more confident, more considerate of others, and he had learned when to say, and when not to say certain things. Adrian and Natalie, still leaning against each other on the sofa, were silent for a few moments. It was on an impulse, really. She had not planned to tell him tonight, she really never even had a plan... but her instincts told her now was the right time to take a leap of faith.
"Adrian…" Her tone had changed. "There's something I really want to talk to you about." She took out both of her earrings and tossed them on the table before she leaned toward him and took his hand. Her hand was warm and dry from the winter air.
"Sure, Natalie… You can tell me anything." Adrian said looking right into her eyes. He gave her a small smile that barely exposed his pearly white upper teeth, which Natalie found adorable. He gently put his free hand on her arm and gave it a gentle rub. A look of care and compassion was pouring from his expression. Natalie knew for sure this was the best time.
"Adrian, I know you think of Trudy a lot… I think of Mitch a lot. Not one day goes by that I don't think of him…" Natalie said softly, Adrian lowered his eyebrows and nodded solemnly.
"When I think of Mitch… I remember a man who wanted nothing more than for Julie and I to be happy. It's hard to think of changing my life in ways that I think would hurt him if he were here…which… there are times when I feel like he still is…" Natalie said with a ball forming at the back of her throat. She was able to stifle it quickly. Adrian closed his eyes and gave her a single nod.
"I have had a long time to think about this… I knew that if Mitch could talk to me and just tell me right now what to do he would tell me to follow my heart. It's the oldest saying in the book: 'follow your heart'… and I know that he would really, truly, want me to do that." Natalie said to him. Adrian knew exactly what she was going to say. His heart was racing and he anticipated the rest of her thoughts, greatly.
" I have been in relationships since his passing… I have kissed other men, and have been… Intimate." Natalie said a little quieter. She saw Adrian look away, and was hoping that the last statement didn't make him too uneasy.
"Adrian… I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable but I really had to say it… to tell you what I need to say." Natalie looked directly into his eyes, and he looked back without a blink.
"I have never felt this way, in my whole life, since Mitch. I see your face when I am going to sleep every night… I can't wait to be with you every day, and when I am with you… I couldn't be happier…" Natalie began to say, when she noticed Adrian looking away, rubbing his eyebrow with his pinky. She was afraid this conversation could go very wrong.
"Adrian… Are you ok? I don't mean to upset you…" Natalie asked. Adrian stared down for a long time. Just thinking. Natalie began to worry that she had just made a grave mistake.
"Natalie… I want to hear what you have to say. Please tell me." He said warmly, looking back up at her again. His eyes were longing something… hopefully her.
"I mean this with all of my heart and soul…" She put her hand to her mouth, feeling overwhelmed. "You are the most… Perfect man I have ever known. I have had feelings for you for a long time… But over the past few months, I have just realized…" She paused for a moment before thrusting both of her hands on his arms. "Adrian. You are the bravest man I have ever known and that is an understatement. You care so much about others. I know this… this might not sound sincere, but I mean this! The lengths you are willing to go to help people, to help me, are literally just extraordinary. You don't ever let anything stop you when it counts. You don't ever let anything fool you… not a thing gets past you, Adrian Monk, not a thing." Her eyes welled up, and she shook her head, smiling. Adrian was quite flattered. Natalie noticed the eagerness in his eyes and continued.
"You are the most wonderful man I have ever known. I mean that in every sense of the word… Your brilliance is legendary, your skills are unheard of… And when you walk into a crime scene, you are glowing. You own that crime scene, Adrian!" Natalie said with a smile, Adrian humbly smiled back.
"And at the end of the day… You're the man that no one can figure out. You're a man who lives passionately for his work…and you're such a gentleman. You would never lie to anyone, you would never hurt anyone…you're a class act, Adrian." She said with a big fat grin. "…There's so much more than just a brilliant detective sitting in front of me. There's so much more than just a man who has had his fair share of troubles… You have so many layers, and it seems the deeper I get with you…" She paused looking down and biting her lower lip for a moment. "… The more I am absolutely in love with you… I love you, Adrian… And so much more than just as a friend." She ended her sweet confession with a big smile and a single tear rolling down her cheek. She hadn't meant for it to be so long, but everything she had been feeling for the past few months, years even, had just poured out like a waterfall. Her eyes were soon like waterfalls as well. Adrian reached up and wiped her tears with his soft, yet masculine hands. He said nothing for a very long time.
"Do you want me to leave?" Natalie asked quietly, dabbing her nose with a tissue. Adrian opened his mouth to speak a few times before finally saying it.
"No, Natalie… Why would I ever want you to leave?" He whispered. Adrian Monk. The man who could say so much in so few words. Natalie's tears stopped and she smiled so wide, Adrian saw dimples he never even knew she had.
"You're a beautiful woman, Natalie… I have always thought so." Adrian said softly. He brushed her cheek softly with the back of his hand.
"I think I should say… something back." Adrian said clasping his hands. He paused for a moment.
"I—I'm not good at this. Natalie…" He looked at her and held up his hands if to say something. There was another pause.
"I used to feel… So guilty about Trudy." Adrian finally was able to collect himself, and the words flowed. Natalie looked right at him the whole time.
"There were times… Before… That I felt so disloyal… When I would go on the occasional… very occasional… date." He said… Natalie smiled.
"But, I am different now. I'm healing, I am happier... Natalie, it feels so good to finally be able to allow myself to be happy." He paused for a moment glancing up at a picture of Trudy.
"What I feel… It can't be betrayal. How can I honor Trudy if I don't even allow myself to feel happiness, to feel love? … I tried to suppress my thoughts about you, Natalie." Adrian began to wring his hands, while Natalie hung on every word.
"I have been…suppressing and trying to stop these feelings for… years." He rested his forehead on his hands for a moment before continuing.
"Here's the thing… For the past few months, especially the past few weeks… I haven't tried to stop myself..." Adrian said looking down. Natalie's eyes begged him to finish.
"What I'm trying to say is… I feel… The same way you do, Natalie…" He said looking back up at her.
They both leaned forward into a warm embrace. They closed their eyes, holding on to each other tightly. Adrian took in her warmth and love and he held her close, rubbing her upper back with his hand. She buried her face in his neck. In the heat of this wonderful moment, Natalie felt the sudden, and overpowering urge to kiss him. It would be a lie to say that Adrian wasn't feeling the same thing.
"So I'm 'a class act'… I like that." Adrian said to break the silence. Natalie let out a little laugh and gave him a little kiss on his neck, eyes still closed. He hadn't been kissed on the neck for such an excruciatingly long time. He had forgotten what it felt like, and was happily surprised by her gesture.
"You really are, Adrian… You really are…" She said back, her voice almost singing. He held her hand with both of his, and they both enjoyed this beautiful moment together. The warmth of each others bodies, almost intertwined, and the way Natalie snuggled up to him. Adrian was feeling absolute bliss, perhaps it was this bliss… this soaring feeling that fueled his sudden impulse. He turned his head lightly as not to disturb her, and said almost in a whisper, deeply into her ear:
"Kiss me, Natalie." His voice was like whiskey and honey.
Without opening her eyes, she turned her head and leaned in very close… their foreheads touching. Adrian studied her thick, silky eyelashes. He could have counted them all. And he did. She opened her eyes for a moment, and he looked ready. She leaned in slowly the rest of the way until her lips met his. The kiss was slow at first. Adrian's lips were trembling, in fact, his whole body was. He began leaning back slightly, as if to pull away. He was rigid. Natalie stopped immediately.
"Adrian, we don't have to do this right now." Natalie said, slightly disappointed. At that moment, he couldn't stand hearing the disappointment dripping her voice. Adrian always had a good bit of spunk in him that he reserved for drastic measures… Now was one of those times. He leaned in and wrapped Natalie up in his strong arms, smiling.
"Natalie… I love you." He said it with all of the sincerity in the world. Without wasting another moment he pulled her in and gave her the kiss of a lifetime. It was magic for both of them. At that moment, Adrian exuded an enormous amount of passion and confidence that surprised Natalie. He kissed her slowly and so deeply. He ran his fingers through her hair with his hand, as his other arm remained around her waist. He wasn't pulling away this time. They both closed their eyes and let themselves go in the moment. Natalie tasted a hint of wintergreen as she kissed him. Their eyelashes brushed against each other's noses, and Natalie touched Adrian's hair. Something she had never done before. It was softer than she had imagined. The kiss didn't last too long, but it wasn't short either. When it ended, they were still touching. Natalie slowly opened her eyes and smiled, her lips still gently brushing against his. He leaned away slowly before opening his eyes.
Adrian was speechless. After a moment in awe, he slowly touched his lips with is fingertips.
"Adrian?" Natalie said out of concern after he didn't seem to move for a while. Slowly, a grin made it's way across his face. Natalie's grin soon followed, and they both began to giggle… the giggles turned to quiet laughter and soon they were consumed with laughter, and love.
"Do you want to brush your teeth?" Natalie joked.
"No, Natalie… I do not want to brush my teeth. …I don't even need a wipe!" He said still laughing. Natalie smiled… slightly in relief. The moment began an awkward one, but ended as wonderfully as anyone could have hoped. Adrian and Natalie had known each other for more than six years now, and had had their plentiful share of strange moments to deal with. She wasn't even Adrian's assistant anymore. A few months after Trudy's case was closed, it seemed the time was right. Of course, Natalie never would have left had Leland not offered her a job as an administrative assistant down at the station. That way, they would always see each other almost every day. Leland knew how inseparable they were, yet he also knew she couldn't be his assistant forever. But they would always be friends… Best friends. They spent hours together almost every day after work, and Natalie still accompanied Adrian to many crime scenes. Julie and Adrian really hit it off that past year as well. He truly considered her to be a daughter, and to Julie, he was her father. Natalie's life was just falling into place, and then she realized she was head over heels in love with Adrian. She didn't quite know how long she was in love, maybe she always was and just didn't realize it. Finally, after all those years… Leading up to one night. This one.
"Was that… how was that for you?" She asked him, slightly embarrassed.
"I think what just happened is enough to answer your question!" He tilted his head down and gave her a devious little grin.
"It was amazing, Adrian…You were amazing and you always will be… Wow! I am so glad to have finally gotten all of that off of my chest. I was honestly scared to death that I would freak you out!" Natalie confided.
"Me too…I thought you wouldn't want to be around me anymore… Which is why, you know, I never told you." Adrian said looking down. Natalie lowered her eyebrows, and leaned on his shoulder.
"Adrian… There's no way I would ever, ever, EVER not want to be around you. You never had to worry about that." She placed a hand on his cheek. "When did you first, have feelings for me?" She asked looking up at him.
"Oh… Natalie, I—I can't remember that…" He said obviously lying.
"You may have better social skills, but you still can't lie! Come on, I know you remember everything." Natalie persisted.
"Ok… But, only if you tell me when you had your, you know, 'feelings' when I'm done." Adrian said.
"I promise." She responded. He sighed and paused as he searched his mind for the answer.
"Well, for me I would have to say… I started having feelings since... the bank vault." He said looking at her.
"The bank vault?" She asked.
"Natalie, when we had been locked in that bank vault, and I thought there was a chance we weren't going to make it… I remember thinking to myself that… I really hoped we would make it because I wanted to be with you… I remember thinking how terrible it would be if the world lost you..." Adrian became very solemn.
"Adrian… I don't know what to say…" Natalie whispered. Not only were Adrian's words so beautiful that they tugged at her heartstrings, but she had just realized he started to have feelings for her before she had had them for him! Adrian was paused waiting for her to tell her story next.
"Well, For me it was when I thought… I had really lost you." She shook her head trying to suppress the emotion.
"Oh Natalie…You don't have to talk about it." Adrian said trying to comfort her.
"No, it's okay… …When I was planning that service for you, and arranging that photo album… I realized that I had lost so much more than just a best friend… So so much…" Natalie began to weep, unable to finish. Adrian gently guided her so that she laid her head upon his lap. He gently stroked her hair as she sobbed quietly. He said nothing, but nothing needed to be said. Her tears eventually stopped, and she snuggled up to him.
"Adrian… I love you. I love you so much." She mumbled, obviously getting dozy. She curled up and closed her eyes, as her breathing slowed, he could tell she had fallen asleep. He pulled the Christmas shawl from the end of the sofa over her and tucked it over her shoulders. The faint sounds of carolers singing in the distance drifted into his apartment. Besides the singing, and the hum of his refrigerator, all was silent. He replayed everything that had just happened over and over in his mind. This day, especially this night… Christmas night 2010, was the happiest day that either of them had had in years. In fact, to the both of them at that very moment, it felt like the happiest day they had ever had.
Natalie's body twitched and she looked up. She felt like she had been asleep for hours, but Adrian was still stroking her hair, smiling down at her.
"Adrian, what time is it?" Natalie asked in mid-yawn.
"Four thirty-five AM." Adrian replied, still smiling, his fingers gently running through her hair. Natalie was shocked. It had been several hours! She sat straight up, surprising him.
"I'm sorry, Adrian… I should have been home hours ago. Julie must be worried…" Natalie was frazzled.
"Just call and tell her you'll be home in the morning." Adrian said nonchalantly.
"Adrian… What am I gonna say? 'Oh sorry, Julie, I just decided to spend the night with Mr. Monk' … No way!" Natalie said grinning, and started gathering up her things.
"Why not?" Adrian asked oblivious. His eyes begged her to stay.
"Oh Adrian… Trust me, the last thing I want to do right now is leave. But, I really have to go home. Julie's home from college and—I'll be gone for just for a little while. Adrian, we love each other! …And it feels so good to say it! In fact, I feel like we have opened another door to our lives—One that I have wanted to open for a long time… don't you?" Natalie said putting one of her earrings in. Adrian nodded.
"Natalie—" He began. Natalie had bent over and was searching the floor for her other earring, but gave up on finding it.
"No … Adrian… Don't worry about a thing. Just get to bed and sleep in tomorrow. I'll be over around noon, ok? But for now, get some rest… you deserve it…Goodnight…I love you" She whispered leaving him with a single kiss on the lips. Adrian closed his eyes, but as soon as she had kissed him, she was gone. He stared at the door. After what seemed like several minutes, Adrian let it all sink in. The smile had still not left his face. If he weren't so tired, he almost felt like dancing! Dancing, and shouting, and… He looked over at a picture of Trudy. She was still smiling at him… She always would. To him, she was always thirty-four years old, looking back at him with bright eyes, smiling. It still hurt looking into her eyes knowing that she was not really looking back at him, and she never would again…But somewhere, in the back of his mind, he could almost feel her. He could almost feel that she was proud of him, happy for him. He looked back at her photograph, the sadness he had felt was now dissipating from his mind.
"Thank you." He whispered to her, before switching off the lights, and heading to bed. He didn't get much sleep that night, the scene that had just transpired only hours ago was still fresh in his memory and he watched it over and over like a movie. Sometime before sunrise, though, he fell asleep.
After his blurry eyes adjusted, he could finally read his alarm—11:42 AM! He bolted upright and quickly got out of bed in a cold sweat. While washing up in the bathroom, his thoughts plagued him. What a dream! What an absolutely wonderfully vivid dream he had last night! But was it a dream? He was sure it was… There was no way Natalie could ever love him! …But it felt so real! After finishing up, he quickly entered the living room to see the huge mess he could ignore no longer and decided to clean it up before breakfast. Or would it be lunch? Who knew. As he stuffed wads of wrapping paper into a trash bag, he felt a sudden sting in his foot.
"Ow!" He screamed out, hopping on one foot over to the sofa where he plopped down. He lifted his hurt foot to find something gold and shiny stuck to it. Thank goodness it had not pierced his skin, he thought. He pulled it off and examined it… Natalie's other earring… He blinked in amazement as the realization had finally hit him: It was no dream.
