Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not Mediator and sadly not Jesse either. I do, however, own Julian he is a figment of my own imagination.
A/N: Sorry for the wait guys. It's a bit random, but it needs to happen.
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Chapter 3
I walked to my next in a daze of sorts. All I could think about was the feeling I had gotten when Julian had touched me.
It made me wonder if it was because if him or because of Jesse.
Either way, I was attracted to Julian. I was warm for his form. For now it ended at a physical attraction. Somehow I doubted it would go deeper than that. After all, my heart belonged to Jesse.
And that's where it got complicated and confusing. I loved Jesse, who was in Julian's body. Did that mean I was in love with Julian too? Would I end up falling in love with Julian too?
Damn it, why can't falling in love be easy?
Seriously, why does it have to be so fucking difficult?
I continued my mental tirade as I walked into class. I groaned internally when I saw CeeCee sitting towards the back, with an accusing look on her face, and an empty desk behind her.
Perfect, I thought, just perfect. I am so gonna kill Julian later.
Ok so I wouldn't technically kill him, but a good punch to the gut would suffice.
I took a deep breath and headed for the empty desk. As I passed CeeCee, she handed me a piece of paper.
Great, more notes. I thought.
I sighed heavily and sat down. A glanced at the teacher quickly, you know, to make sure he wasn't paying attention.
I unfolded the note. What, she demanded, is with you and New Guy?
I rolled my eyes. CeeCee knew perfectly well that his name was Julian.
Nothing, Father Dominic asked me to show him around. That's all. I wrote and handed it back to her.
Fine, but who is this Jesse guy and why does New Guy know about him when I don't? She wrote back.
Ok, first off New Guy has a name. His name is Julian. Okay? Second, I told you that Jesse was no one. Will you please let it go?
I thought I was your best friend, Suze. Why won't you tell me? You know you can trust me.
I read what she wrote, and I instantly felt guilty for lying to her. Damn CeeCee and her guilt trips. I sighed. Jesse was a guy that I met. He moved, end of story.
I watched CeeCee shake her head as she read the note. She wasn't going to be satisfied until I told her everything, which I was not going to. No matter how much she guilt tripped me.
Why does New...Julian know about him? Why did you tell him first?
Oh, my God, I thought. Now I really am going to kill Julian.
I wrote: I didn't tell him on purpose, okay? It sorta slipped out because Julian reminds me of Jesse. Jesse was just a friend of mine. That's it, I swear.
I hoped I wouldn't get stuck by lightning for lying to CeeCee. I mean, we were in a church after all. Not that I'm catholic or anything, but it seems a bit sacrilegious to me.
CeeCee sighed as she read it. Okay, I believe you. So…do you like Julian?
I felt a slight blush roll across my face. Cee, I barely met him.
So, that doesn't mean anything. You can still like him. He has this whole badass vibe to him. It's kind of hot.
I almost choked when I read what she had written. Well, yeah I like him. He's hot. And to be honest I was already wondering what it would be like to kiss him but I don't really think he'd be interested in me. Not when he's got every girl in the school already lusting after him. I wouldn't doubt it if, after this class, he doesn't even talk to me anymore.
CeeCee let out an exasperated sigh. Don't sell yourself short Suze, not all guys go after the Kelly/Debbie type. He'd be an idiot if he did go after them.
Yeah, well, we'll see right?
Trust me; he'll end up going after you.
I folded the paper and stuck it in my pocket. I gave myself a mental pat on the back. I had gotten CeeCee off of the Jesse subject … for now.
I tried to pay attention in class but I kept thinking about Jesse. I wondered if Father Dominic was making any progress in his research. Would there ever be a way for me to talk to Jesse? God, I hoped so.
If Jesse ever did come forward it would be a little weird talking to him but looking at Julian.
God, does everything have to be so hard? When I talk to Jesse I want to be able to see Jesse. You know, with his white shirt all open so I can see his unbelievably awesome chest and drool-worthy abs. Or his tight black pants that hugged his butt. Not to mention that sexy scar in his right eyebrow.
"Okay that's all for today. See you all tomorrow." The teacher said.
Dammit, I haven't learned anything today. Well other than two souls can inhabit one body, but where's that gonna come in handy?
I was debating whether or not to just wait for Julian or go ahead and go to lunch without him. I didn't have to escort him everywhere. He'd find out where to go for lunch.
I was about to walk away when I saw him. Holy fuck, he's hot, I thought. I'm pretty sure I was looking at him like I wanted to eat him, but I could find it in me to look away.
"What the fuck is up with that look?"Julian asked when he reached me.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." I said and headed to the courtyard.
Julian and I walked, in silence, to lunch. Fuck, I thought, I knew he wouldn't talk to me after that last class.
I showed him where to buy lunch and that's when it happened.
"Julian!" Someone called to him. I recognized that voice. It was Dopey.
NOOOOOOOOOOO!
"Hey Suze, would you mind if I sit with the guys." Julian asked.
NO! Not that guy. Sit with anyone but that guy. I wanted to yell at him. But I had to keep it cool. "You wanna sit with Brad?" Revulsion and incredulity colored my voice.
"Is he your ex-boyfriend or something?" Julian asked.
"Oh, that's fucking disgusting, just eww." Hey, I said I'd keep my cool. I didn't say I'd do it nicely. "If you want to, go ahead."
"What's wrong with Brad? He's pretty cool."
I looked at Julian with pity. "Julian, you just lost points with me. Anyone who thinks Brad Ackerman is cool should be punched … repeatedly… and very hard."
"Why don't you like Brad? Again I ask, is he your ex-boyfriend?"
"Again I say, fucking disgusting. Brad's my step-brother."
"Oh." He paused. "So do you mind if I sit with them?"
Why was he asking me for permission? "Why are you asking me for permission? I mean, yeah it'll bother me, but it's not like I have the right to tell you no."
"Ok." He started to walk away but turned back to look at me. "Suze, do you still have our note?"
"Yeah I have it. It's in my pocket."
"Can I have it, there's something I wrote on the back that I need."
I nodded and gave it to him.
"Thanks." He said. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and the walked away.
The CHEEK! Why the cheek? Julian is a fucking tease.
I blinked rapidly and walked over to CeeCee and my other friend Adam McTavish.
I sat down heavily.
"The cheek?" CeeCee voiced my thought out loud.
"Don't even start. I'm frustrated enough as it is." I said.
"So what's up with New Guy?" Adam asked.
I glared at CeeCee who smiled, her braces flashing in the sun. "His name is Julian. And nothing's up with him." I said.
"Ok, so what's up with you and him?" Adam asked.
"Oh, my god. Nothing." I snapped defensively.
Adam raised an eyebrow at my defensiveness, but said nothing.
I stuck my hand into my pocket, to get the note I was writing to CeeCee. I was going to rip it up so no one could read it.
I swear I almost screamed. Why? Because the letter I held in my hand was the letter I had written to Julian. Meaning Julian had the letter that CeeCee and I were writing.
Oh. My. GOD! I thought.
"What? What happened?" CeeCee asked.
Well I thought I had thought it. I guess I said it out loud.
"Earth to Suze." CeeCee said. "What's wrong?"
"I accidently gave Julian the note you and I were writing." I whispered.
"What? Suze what is wrong with you? Why would you do that?" CeeCee whispered back.
"I forgot I had put them in the same pocket. Oh my god. He's gonna read that I like him. I wrote that I had wanted to kiss him." I dropped my head. Please let the ground open up and swallow me. I prayed.
At that moment I felt someone staring at me. Their gaze was burning a hole in the side of my face. Oh fucking crap, I thought, I think he read it.
"Cee, I think he read it. Can you see if he's staring, but don't make it obvious." I whispered.
I watched her glance around furtively. "Oh he's staring at you all right." She said to me.
"How does he look?" I have never felt like such a teenage girl before.
"He is looking at you like he wants to eat you." CeeCee said with a giggle.
A wide smile broke across my face. "Really?"
"Yeah." She leaned in to whisper in my ear. "And when I say 'he wants to eat you' I mean that in the naughtiest way possible."
I burst out laughing. "Really?" I asked again.
"Yeah."
"Well, guess I'll tease him a bit." I smiled and crossed my legs, which caused my skirt to ride up a little. The burning sensation from Julian's stare shifted from the side of my face to, as I had planned, my legs … and my thighs.
"So what are you going to do? Are you gonna wait for him to say something or are you going to say something?" CeeCee asked.
"I think I already said enough. So I'm going to let him do whatever he wants to do with the information." I said. "If he wants to ignore me I won't say anything. And if he wants to fucking kiss me senseless, well I'll gladly oblige."
"Do you still have to show him to his class?" CeeCee asked.
Adam, who had been silent throughout the entire lunch period, said "You are aware that Kelly Prescott is gunning for New Guy too, right?"
I scoffed. "Kelly Prescott can suck my big toe. I saw Julian first." She better back the fuck off, I thought, Julian is mine.
Alright, alright I know he doesn't belong to me and he's not my boyfriend. I know I don't have a right to be possessive toward Julian. Oh, wait yeah I do. Jesse, nuff said.
Adam and CeeCee were still laughing at the 'suck my big toe' comment when everyone started leaving for their next classes.
I stood up and was smoothing out my skirt when Kelly Prescott and her bitchy ass friends walked by.
"Yeah, I'm gonna ask Julian out. I have him next class, I'll ask him then." Kelly said a little too loud.
Aw fuck no, I thought, I'll break your fucking fingers if you do. I looked up to glare at her. Up until she caught my gaze she had a huge smirk on her face. When she saw the burning white rage and hatred shooting from my eyes it faded and she and her minions scurried away.
I grinned widely and turned around in time to see Julian approach me. His dark eyes were scrutinizing my face.
"What the fuck is up with that look?" I asked, repeating his phrase to him.
He smirked and shrugged his shoulders.
"Whatever." I said and started walking to my locker.
Julian followed behind me. "So I guess I should tell you." He said.
"Tell me what?" I asked.
"You gave me the wrong note. I think it was one you were writing to your friend." He said and ran a hand through his hair. It was a habit I had seen Jesse perform hundreds of times and it almost brought tears to my eyes.
"I did?" I said in a surprised voice. "You didn't read it, did you?"
"No." He lied. "Well I read the beginning, but when I noticed it wasn't the right one I … uh … stopped."
I narrowed my eyes at him and watched him squirm. Then I smiled. "Okay." I said cheerily and headed to the next class.
"You believe me?" He asked.
"No. I'm pretty sure you saw your name mentioned in it and curiosity got the better of you." I said. "I am aware of what it said. I know you read it because shortly after I gave it to you I felt your eyes burning a hole on the side of my face."
"Did you give it to me on purpose?"
"No. When I realized I gave you the wrong one I fucking flipped out."
"Why?"
"Because it's a little embarrassing."
"I don't think so."
"Not for you, but it is for me." I stopped in front of his class. "Your class" – I pointed to his class. "My class" – I pointed down the breezeway.
"See you later." He said. He turned to go into his class.
I had to warn him about Kelly. "Julian?" I called.
He walked back to me smiling. "Yeah."
"Um, just a heads up, Kelly Prescott is gonna ask you out in class."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, I just thought I'd warn you."
He took a step closer to me. Our bodies were almost touching. I could feel and hear the electric current around us
"You're not jealous, are you?" Julian asked.
"Of Kelly? No."
"Uh-huh."
I gasped as he wrapped an arm around my waist and closed the few remaining inches between us. Before I could comprehend what was happening, he caught my lips with his own. The kiss was strong but over quickly. There was no tongue or anything.
"I know you were wondering what it would be like to kiss me." Julian whispered.
And then he just fucking walked away.
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A/N: Ok so this chapter was a little random, but I felt it needed to happen. I thought Suze could use some normalcy.
She hardly gets to act like a normal teenager and her crush on Julian is normal … minus the fact that his body his harboring Jesse's soul.
It's gonna get interesting from here.
In the next chapter Julian meets a certain one-eared friend of Suze's. Julian's secret is revealed. And Suze has a chat with an old friend.
Oh and as for the 'suck my big toe' thing. Yeah it's stupid, but my sister used to always say that to me. It was her way of cussing me out without getting in trouble.
