Next chapter's here, I'm pretty excited to write this, as I hope you can tell :) x
"The pillar of dust, that is holding you up, is crashing down around you now and poisoning your mind."
~ Poison in Your Mind, Powderfinger.
Ch 1.
Weaknesses
I looked down at the letter from Dominique, that was still grasped in my hands. A single tear escaped from the corner of my eye, and rolled slowly down my cheek, as if it, too were as weak as I physically was.
Wow, even my tears were weak, lovely.
Truth is, I was unhappy. And I guess, in a way, it was Scorpius' fault. But he loved me, so how could he be at fault?
But Scorpius was never around to tell me he loved me.
He was always away on 'business trips'. And when he wasn't away, he was usually working. And when he wasn't working he was tired, either that, or, he came home after I'd gone to sleep, and had left by the time I woke up. Adding all this up, in the average week, I was lucky if I saw him for an hour a day.
An hour a day to spend with the love of my life.
And its not like we did anything in this time, if you know what I mean. He'd tell me he loved me, and he'd kiss me, but there was never passion in it. Never that real passion that we had had before he had asked me to marry him.
The passion we had back at Hogwarts.
I would give anything to go back there, feel like I did when I was there.
Therefore, as Scorpius wasn't home a lot of the time, I didn't do much.
It's not that I couldn't do much in the beginning; it's just that I didn't want to go out without him. And I definitely didn't want to face my family.
I was so ashamed. I had always said that I didn't want to be tied down and knocked up at 20 years old. I wanted to study fashion and travel the world and have fun.
But here I was. 20, engaged, pregnant and sick.
So yeah, I guess I am sort of to blame for my state.
As I sat here in my miserable mood I had started to waste away. I had slowly gotten sicker and sicker, and the baby didn't help that either.
I instinctively touched my stomach.
I was very pregnant, like Dom had said. I was 8 months along, and my sickness wasn't helping my appearance either.
I felt weak these days; I could barely walk around the house, let alone go outside. This was another reason I didn't go see my family, I was too weak to Floo, or Apparate, or even ride a broom, and I didn't really have any other form of transportation.
So I just sat here, slowly wasting away, only leaving the house when Scor dragged me off to one of those stupid events he always had to go to.
I wanted to tell Mum I was sorry, I wanted to tell Dad I was sorry, I wanted to tell Al, and Dom, and Hugo and everyone I was sorry.
But I was too ashamed to owl them.
I sat on the windowsill, a place where I loved to sit. I could see the sun shining outside from here, on one of the rare days it did shine. Today was one of those days, and I wanted to go out into the sunshine, and just run around, and have fun.
But I was too big, and too sick.
So I sat on the windowsill, in my Slytherin green tight sweater dress.
I longed for my white cotton maxi dress. The one I had worn the majority of last summer, before all the formalities had started.
I had been wearing it when Scorpius had proposed to me in a flowery field one long sunny day.
That seemed like an age ago at the moment. Now I willed myself to wear a lot of the tight clothing Scorpius had bought me, with the help of his mother, Astoria Malfoy. A majority of it was Slytherin green as well.
I was in Gryffindor, for Godric's sake!
I longed for my white maxi, and all the other clothes I had picked out, back when I was certain I was going to study fashion.
But I wore these clothes to make Scorpius happy.
Yeah, even after all this mess, I still wanted to make him happy.
I laid a hand on my stomach.
"I'm going to fix this, I promise."
xxx
Scorpius came home that night, much to my surprise. As he pecked me on the lips, I knew I needed to speak to him about everything.
So I followed him into our room, where he began to take off his travelling cloak.
Of course, being Rose Weasley, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"Scorpius," I began, "I hate it here, at Malfoy Manor. I hate my new life."
His head whipped around to stare at me as if I'd lost my mind.
"What?" he asked incredulously.
"Do you even look at me anymore, Scorpius? Do we even talk? Because I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm getting more sick by the day. I'm weak, and you never being home isn't helping. I'm 8 months pregnant, and I get that I can't do a lot; I understand that's how it is. But I can't even move anymore. The baby is slowly killing me, I'm dying for this, Scorpius."
"Then why did you keep it?" he spat at me.
If there was one thing Scorpius could not stand, it was his family being insulted in any way. And me, just insulting the Manor, well, he was angry, now.
I began to cry.
"You don't get it do you?" I cried, "I love this baby, and this isn't the baby's fault, this is your fault. How can I follow my dreams cooped up in here, to sick to move?
"You know, Scorpius Malfoy, that this was never what I wanted for our child. I really thought you were breaking Malfoy traditions by marrying me, you know. Breaking so many traditions, because you loved me. Yet, we end up in Malfoy Manor. You always knew what I wanted, before we were engaged, when we had that little flat in muggle London. I loved it, and you knew it. I wanted a beautiful house in the city, or even in the country if that was what you wanted. But I never wanted this, I'm sorry, but I never wanted to live in Malfoy Manor."
He looked completely shocked, and so angry. There was a loathing look on his face that I had never seen before.
"This is my fault? If you want to do things, go and do things! Go start your own fashion line, I don't care! Do whatever you want! Don't blame me for keeping you in here, because I'm not making you stay," he shouted, looking livid.
"I thought you loved me," I cried, "I thought we were going to be happy together, and live together, and tackle life together. But it's just me here, and you somewhere else! This isn't my home Scorpius, and this wasn't what I wanted from life!"
"Like I said, fine! Go and do what you want, start a fashion line, whatever!" he yelled.
"But I can't do it alone," I said quietly, looking at him.
"Well I can't do it with you," he said, calming down, and looking tired, "and if you hate Malfoy Manor so much, just leave."
"I can't leave you!"
"LEAVE!"
I started crying all over again, summoning a bag, and throwing some of my belongings in it. I grabbed it and walked out of there as fast as I could.
He followed me to the door, and I gave him one last look.
"Don't expect to see your child anytime soon."
Then I turned my back on him and walked out.
I couldn't walk very fast due to my huge stomach, but I sort-of speed walked as fast as I could, right until I was out the gates of Malfoy Manor.
I gave it one last look, then turned around and walked a bit further, till I felt like it was out of sight.
I conjured a very weak patronus, but, hoping it would still carry my message to Mum and Dad, set it off into the night.
I felt myself collapsing onto the ground, and let the darkness consume me.
Wow, that sort of sucked to write, to be totally honest. I love Sco/Rose, and her leaving sucks. But if Rose is unhappy, then I guess she's gotta do what she's gotta do. I know, call me crazy. Please review! :D x
