Chapter 7: So This is How it Feels like, huh?
It was a brief notice, something the two never had time to cope. Next thing they knew, they found out a company was leaving, for good. Frodo was with them, the other eight chosen to be his companion. The Fellowship will depart the day after tomorrow.
"But why?" Vanille inquired. Nobody bothered to explain that bit to her. Neither did they tell anything to Fang, but the older woman wasn't all concerned about that. She had other thoughts in mind.
Bilbo blew into his pipe. He looked at her oddly. "What a funny thing to say. All the people here knew why."
Vanille frowned. "I wasn't with the council."
He shook his head. "Pippin and Merry aren't there but there they are, involved and all."
"Well, I'm not. But I do want to know. Where are they heading?"
Bilbo shrugged. "Who knows, child? With Gandalf there in the company, all sorts of adventures are up." He looked thoughtful. "Ah, but I heard this one is a strange thing. Not that the Quest is anything normal to begin with."
"What quest?"
"Why, the quest to destroy the Ring of course."
Vanille sat back in silence. "Oh."
Bilbo looked pleased with himself. "Well, that's nice you understood the situation. I was afraid I have to explain everything to you. Now, my lad Frodo, will–" Bilbo's voice faded to background.
'So the journey will start, along with my life.' Vanille had been thinking about her Focus a lot lately. She may be decisive on the part of not telling Fang, for fear her friend might do something crazy like confronting the Enemy alone, but that doesn't mean she will give up abandoning all hope of staying human. She had no desires becoming a Cie'th. She was trying to find loopholes, anything that she could complete her Focus and at the same time end Sauron's existence. No amount of logic is coming to her. From what she learned, Sauron will continue to exist so long as the Ring remains. It's like her life and fate is tied to the Ring, like Sauron, and she hated that fact.
Does she not have any right to live properly on any worlds? She never felt so frustrated. She also thought about contending to the Enemy's willpower to regain her humanity, something that Lightning and her friends had done when they turned Cie'th in front of Vanille and Fang. But that would be risky as well and would require confronting the Fal'Cie personally. She knew if she did that, there's no way Fang would stay behind. She will know the truth. Three possibilities came to Vanille. One, her friend will go crazy like before to protect her and will call upon herself to protect the Ring, allying herself against their new friends. Two, she'll understand in a way she will contend with the will of Sauron, which Vanille heavily doubted will result to anything good. Three, which she feared the most, Fang will find out about the nature of the Ainur and the place Valinor which she will fight against to secure Vanille's fate.
"My dear?"
"Hm?" Vanille turned to Bilbo. He was smiling sadly.
"Don't you want to say good bye to them?"
Fang took a bath that day and changed to her original set of clothes. She checked her gear and inspected her 'Kain's Lance' before heading outside Imladris.
She wanted to be alone to gather her thoughts. So much had happened. Fang knew the best way to clear such trivialities was to hunt game. She was hopeful the animals here were more Pulsian than Cocoon-ish. She never quite got over the fact Cocoon was so tame that even the wild animals are domesticated. She scouted as much forest ground she could cover. There were many animals about and, thank Titan, all were hiding at her presence. Good, the game here is like back at Grand Pulse. Fang smiled inwardly. She brandished her spear and started her hunt.
Outside, everything looked like a memory of an Age. Vallis Media greeted her like an old friend. An old trodden path for messengers and travelers, something Fang figured the Rangers would use. The Elves would probably come from the trees. And as paths go, there were very few animals in the clearing. She took a detour and headed west. The trees grew thicker at every step and she could feel the life pulsating harder. The air was loud on her ears; the sound of many creatures living filled the silent air. The bushes stirred. Fang immediately thrust her weapon directly at the movement. It stopped. A paralyzed rabbit came out. Fang picked it up and gathered it over her shoulder. It was still breathing. The animal sported a rather large bruise on its chest since Fang never intended to go for a kill. She didn't feel like it yet and she wasn't camping. Going back to her place, there will definitely be a generous amount of food at the table. No need to suffer on some skinny rabbit.
She continued playing her little game. After capturing and eventually letting the two dozen assortments of animals loose, Fang took a break sitting under the biggest tree in the near radius. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths to savor the late afternoon breeze. She didn't care if any band of orcs might attack. On the contrary, she would welcome the fight. If it got too out of hand, she could always summon Bahamut for back up. Nothing can get more fear than the Eidolon releasing Megaflare on the creatures.
Fortunately, there were no assaults so far, possibly because of the successful work the Rangers and elves had done recently to scout the region. She shifted her position to the right side, where a small ray of the sun pierced completely through the thick woods. She let its warmth kissed her face like a normal afternoon should. She touched her arm. 'Just in case,' she thought before summoning Bahamut. She smiled as the beast appeared; it assured her that the feeling she felt was no illusion. She really could still call on its help. She closed her eyes and let sleep take her. Now is the time for an afternoon nap.
"Has anyone seen Lady Fang?"
Aragorn and the others look up. They were outside the halls of Imladris, enjoying the last comfort they would have before their journey would start. "I have not since this morning," Legolas replied. "Do you wish to speak to her?"
Arwen nodded. "Yes. It has been a while since we conversed." She looked thoughtful and smiled. "I miss her company."
"If no one has seen her, she is probably with Lady Vanille," Legolas said.
Aragorn stood up. "I'll go and help you look for her."
"Thank you." The two headed to where they last found the young woman.
"Fang? I thought she was with you."
They were in the main garden. Vanille sat on the larger benches accompanied by Arwen's brothers. Elrohir was narrating the Lay of Leithian at that time and paused on the part where Beren and Luthien were already on Morgoth's throne. "My sister, she is probably with Lord Boromir. They grew close in friendship for the days that passed," Elladan offered.
"Boromir is with me and Legolas before I left them," Aragorn offered.
"Where could she be? Had she left outside?" Arwen said to no one in particular. Her brow furrowed in slight worry. She glanced at the direction to the gate and sighed. "It cannot be helped then. I shall simply wait for her."
Vanille stood up, the look of anxiety starting to paint her face. "I'll go and look."
"Outside Imladris is dangerous, my lady," Elrohir warned, standing up as well.
"But she might be outside," Vanille replied stubbornly. "I will go there and no one's stopping me."
"No one is," Elrohir repeated. His face suddenly relaxed and he laughed. "I shall escort you."\
The two went outside. It was a good afternoon to walk and their concern for their friend's
welfare lessened. It was a rare peaceful atmosphere in these dark times. They lingered on every forest path and enjoyed the cool wind blowing the branches. Vanille found it very enjoyable. Of all things that remind her of home, this one did. She wouldn't be surprised now if Fang really did spent her time wasting it simply outside.
"You don't have to look," Vanille offered, watching Elrohir peeking beyond at every tree. She giggled at the sight. This probably reminded him of his childhood days too, how long ago that would be.
"What?"
Vanille grabbed his hand and leaned closer. She looked at the beautiful man in front of him and smiled reassuringly. "I'm sure Fang is all right. Now that I've seen the place, it doesn't look all too dangerous for her."
Elrohir looked away. She tilted her head in confusion. Was he blushing? Vanille grinned inwardly. Yes, these people are very old fashioned. Get too close and they'll come up with the most bizarre imaginations. "Of course," he replied, his voice strained and trying to calm down. "Should we be heading back?"
"Can we stay for a little while longer?" Vanille asked. "I like it here."
He nodded. "Of course," he offered his hand and together they strolled through the forest.
It was already getting dark.
"Where are they?"
Boromir was pacing. Others would be too but sensibility told them two people pacing in a single room wouldn't leave much space for pacing. Elladan folded his hands and sighed. "My brother is with Lady Vanille. He knows the ways of the forest. He can protect her. As for Lady Fang, they probably found her and the three were spending time together."
Legolas considered the explanation and agreed. However, Boromir was not convinced at the least. "And if they're not? The borders are becoming more dangerous in these times."
"Lord Boromir has a point," Aragorn nodded. "With the orcs abroad, they could have been easily ambushed."
"On the borders of Imladris?" Elladan raised an eyebrow. "Aragorn, we are not on Man's territory. Our land is not simply guarded with spears and swords. Ada's powers govern here as well."
"That does not seem to be the case when Lady Fang and I were attacked," Boromir replied gravely.
"Dark times are indeed at hand."
Legolas stood up. "I'll go look for them."
"If a search party will be done, it is I who will be most capable," Elladan answered. "I am, after all, a resident in my father's land."
"And I as well spent a part of my childhood here," Legolas countered. He made his way to the door, bowed and finally out.
Outside Imladris, the prince's eyes lingered up the sky, where little patches of the trees' leaves left a sight of the stars, something their entire kind share to love so much. Legolas liked the stars too. The wind touched him and he just knew there was simply no danger. The forest would be tense if there was any mischief going about. Elladan was probably right. 'Still, it wouldn't hurt to go looking for them,' Legolas decided.
He first followed the forest path and immediately noticed there weren't any animals approaching him. They always do in the presence of Elves, trusting no harm would fall to them. Apparently, someone decided to hunt them in these borders. He didn't need to think too much who's responsible. He sighed inwardly. "Fang."
He steered away from the path and sure enough found three sets of footprints, one light and two heavier steps. Elrohir and Vanille had taken this direction, as well as Fang. He followed the trail until it split. It seems the two agreed to not look for her after all. He looked at the direction where Fang went and followed.
A few minutes past, and he stopped. The air grew suddenly thick, like a beast was taking the whole air of the clearing all to himself. Legolas drew his bow cautiously. What could be something so large easily sneak into this land? Surely the elves there would be alerted at such presence. Legolas didn't need any skill to hear the low rumbling noise. He jogged, feet light and nimble that neither sound nor footprint was left on the grass he walked. Not long, he finally spotted the beast. He climbed at the nearest tree to its tallest branch and quickly found a perfect view to aim. He examined the enemy at hand. He could make out a pair of wings hiding discreetly, a good tactic of escape, and probably explain how it got here. Still, the elves had patrols at the skies too. How could they have missed this?
As he watched the beast more, a thought pondered him. Had he seen him before? The beast suddenly moved, encircled to something he was definitely hiding from Legolas' view.
"I think we should call this one a day," a feminine voice called out. The beast gave a responsive roar and crouched at her command. Legolas knew who she was. He jumped down and landed feet tucked to the ground. Fang whirled at him. "When did you get here?"
"Just now," he replied, watching Bahamut. He remembered now. The dragon looked different, a bit altered from what he saw last. He didn't comment on it though. "You disappeared before us and both Lady Arwen and Vanille are starting to worry."
Fang looked thoughtful. "Let me guess… Vanille is here outside too." Legolas did not answer. Fang took that then as a yes. She sighed heavily. "Do we go and look for them now?"
"It will not be necessary," he replied. "She has Lord Elrohir when she left. Let us just head back."
"Ok," she said. She turned her head on the Beast and touched his head. "Looks like your work here is done," she smiled. Bahamut gave an approving sound and disappeared. She walked towards him and together headed back.
"There you are. Arwen and Boromir are starting to get worried for you."
Aragorn greeted them in, a small smile of relief on his face. Elladan nodded at what the Ranger said. "We all were. Vanille and my brother would have gone outside again."
"You did tell us you would be heading back soon," Vanille pouted towards Fang.
The older woman shrugged. "I fell asleep. The forest was a good bed."
"No matter. The important thing is everyone is well. Dinner would be served soon and I have no desire for my father to give his attention here. He has far more pressing matters to dwell his thoughts in," Elladan contended.
They all headed back, Vanille holding her friend's hand tight to her own. She squeezed it reassuringly.
"How was the escapade?"
Fang gave the question a considerable thought. After a pause and an intake of breath, she replied, "Not much of an escapade but yeah, I had a good time getting away from this whole charade."
Arwen joined in watching the night sky. "Is it too much?"
The Pulsian sighed heavily. "Coping is an understatement. I've been away from home long and far enough to feel what it felt like to be a stranger. But this," She gestured the view and breathed in frustration. "Fate's mockery seems to milk it for all its worth."
"From what you speak of your home, it does not much differ here," Arwen replied. "You don't have to be a stranger."
"A traveler eventually yearns for home. This isn't Gran Pulse, no matter how it tries to be, all nature and stuff." She smiled crookedly. "Now look at me, I'm starting to sound like you guys." She turned her attention to Arwen. She curtsied in mock fashion. "My lady, thou possess insurmountable beauty… or something like that."
"I'm afraid my people cannot help with that," she answered apologetically. She moved over to the vines and took a wild flower out of its branch. She twirled it around, examining its petals delicately. She handed the flower to Fang and smiled. "Yet surely, everything will end. There lies rest, if not peace."
The night was quiet and all Vanille could do was wait for the sun to rise. "Surely, there is something I could do again. Another miracle to create," She whispered quietly to the wind. It replied with a gentle blow on her curls. There isn't really much she could do right now. Fate would have to wait. She clasped her hands in her praying form, fingers pressing and twisting each other. She looked at the sky and the memory of the beautiful fireworks back at Bodhum greeted her. The stars were bright and twinkling, the kind the children back at Oerba wish at. Those are different stars though. Still, she made a wish.
Another miracle…
There was a knock on the door. Vanille spun around to be greeted by Elrohir. She involuntarily tucked a strand of her hair back to her ear. "Hey."
"My Lady, just a moment ago the wind whispered to me," He smiled gently. "It was a young lady's voice, whispering for a miracle." His eyes softened more. "Is anything amiss?"
Vanille couldn't reply. Her hand was already at her mouth in disbelief. Is their nothing secret in this life? She hasn't even begun tangling webs, just threads of lie. "Elrohir," she whispered his name, barely containing her fear and surprise. "I," she faltered for her words. All the while, the elf calmly looked at him, waiting patiently for her to speak. He maintained an encouraging smile. "I… I… I'm sorry… but I can't tell you." Not without explaining everything, which will take a while and possibly alerting Fang to come, and I can't risk that.
"Does it concern where you come from clashing where you are now?" he asked gently.
Vanille mutely nodded. Her hand grip tightened to her mouth again.
Elrohir nodded back understandably. He walked closer to her and gently took her hand. It was warm and comforting like a fire in the seeming endless snow of Oerba's winter. Her hand felt clammy and cold compared to his. He moved her hand slowly away from her face. "Then I wish my lady all the fortune you need to reach your miracle."
Vanille couldn't hold her anxiety any longer. She leaned to him and let every tear unshed flow. Her body trembled. All the while, the elf lord offered his silent companion. Elrohir knew he could not help her, not yet anyway. "Thank you for not prying," she muttered when her breathing finally slowed down. Her eyes were still red from crying but she was smiling again.
"This is Imladris, the last Homely house. It is a place of rest and comfort. Blessed are we who fulfilled these to our guest down to their heart and soul." He bowed lightly. "Sleep well lady Vanille."
"Good night Elrohir."
That morning, Vanille knew what exactly she's going to do. She had the most peaceful dream last night, the first time her nightmare stopped. Her Mark didn't burn as well. She walked, her feet never missing a single beat. Elrohir, before leaving, gave her an advice. His council, though seeming sound and wise, will be more insightful should she ask for Master Elrond, Erestor, Glorfindel, and finally Mithrandir's councils as well. Only, Vanille decided that night too that she would ask around as sparingly as she could manage. Mithrandir appeared to be the best option, as Elrohir informed her of the Wizard's great wisdom and insight.
"Gandalf, sir?"
The old man looked up to her and smiled. "Lady Vanille, well met this morning. I trust you did not come here for simple exchange of greetings?"
"No, I don't," Vanille replied, taking a seat next to him. She looked like a child compared to her and somehow she felt so small and insignificant. Her troubles seem to be far less important with his agenda. What is his agenda anyway? That, Vanille still hasn't figured out.
"Elrohir talked to me a bit earlier about you," he said, his eyes twinkling in understanding, "that Ellon, no matter how many thousand years will pass, will always possess such childlike sympathy. He is worried about you and troubled that you do not trust him."
"It's not like that," Vanille squirmed. Now she felt bad for him. But it can't be helped. She has to keep it a secret and bury it down to her grave, or to her Cie'th stone, whichever came first. "I'm sorry but–"
Gandalf held his hand up, silencing her. "No need to explain. I see it involves greater fates and circles that it is better kept flowing." Gandalf took his pipe and blew a long trail of smoke. It formed into a small sphere with a long line down to support what it weighs. It was Cocoon after Vanille and Fang's Ragnarok. His brow furrowed at the thing he created. "What a curious thing."
"It's our home, Pulse," Vanille said, "Only a bit different… it's after me and Fang…" She looked at him. "How did you know what it looks like?"
"I have not the faintest idea. This world is old; it's wonders and Magic older. However, the wheels go and turn, never stopping for anyone. The only thing we can do is do our duty and role on this story we weave called Life. Maybe," he paused, the smoke changing shape once more. It formed into something Vanille was familiar of, but what it exactly is, she could not decide what.
"What is it?" she heard herself say, wondering unconsciously at the shape.
"Maybe, child, it is time you choose what you shall play in this Life," he said, looking hard at her. The smoke disappeared into the wind. His features softened, smiling wisely, "do not let anything or anyone play it for you."
"Lady Fang?"
Fang turned back to his direction. She crossed hers arms and looked away. "You guys are leaving tomorrow, I hear. You're going with them, yes?"
"I will simply follow their route until I pass Gondor's land. Only then I will depart from them, should they not follow my council," Boromir replied. "Of course, the path to Gondor is safest. I even trust the ranger Aragorn thinks as well. I only need the wizard to consent as well."
"Really? Then that's good. Good luck to that."
"Thank you."
Fang remained silent for a while. She inspected his face, examining his next move. After a whole five minute, she smirked and scoffed. "That's not the only thing you came here for, is it?"
Boromir walked until he was behind her, and watched the open sky. "You will make a fine addition should you lend Gondor a hand to a coming war."
Fang turned around. "So you heard about my escapade?" She inwardly wondered if he knew as far as her ability as summoning Bahamut. She was sure this guy hasn't seen her magic yet.
"Lord Legolas mentioned it."
"Damn that stuffy Prince," Fang cursed. "No thanks. I've graduated war way long ago."
"I ask you on behalf of my people. Help is more than welcome. I fear a strike from the Enemy against Gondor will prove to be enough to destroy the proud city."
Fang didn't reply. She closed her eyes. Enough. This is exactly what happened before she and Vanille got became L'Cie. The village near the Archylyte Steppe had just recently been destroyed by the Cocoon L'Cie, the enemy.
"The city of Gondor will always welcome you, my lady," Boromir bowed and left. As the door closed and his footsteps faded, Fang let a heavy sigh.
"Etro, help me."
The day came. Everyone was outside the gate, the Fellowship facing them, and the others by the walls with Elrond at the front.
"May the blessing of the Valar and Illuvatar guide you on your Quest," Elrond bowed.
It was a silent farewell. Vanille watched the hobbits go, waving at Pippin and Merry, the two members she grew close to the most. Legolas last looked at Elrond, thinking this may be the last time he might see him, should his fate prove ill. His eyes strayed a little and glanced at Fang. He bowed his head at her. Fang tilted her head up in response. She watched Boromir, never looking back. Gandalf was beside Frodo. He looked back only once and to Vanille. He smiled at her. Arwen was beside her father, looking silently at Aragorn.
"Be safe, Estel," she whispered, only for her to ear and Aragorn's heart to feel.
They left.
The days past and went. Somehow, it fell into a routine. One by one, the guests of Elrond left, the dwarves, the elves of Mirkwood and the Rangers, all headed back home. Messengers came from time to time, but not often. Vanille continued with her studies with Erestor. Fang eventually joined in, so they had to go back a bit. It wasn't long though to catch up and Fang found it a good distraction. At afternoon, the two would head to Bilbo's room and listen to his tales and songs. Arwen would be with them by then. Later, they would spend the rest of the day by the garden of Imladris, joined by Glorfindel this time. This they would listen as he recounts some of the tales of his own life and history. At times when stories were too much, they would all head, including the golden-haired elf, to the workshops and help with whatever work that is available. Soon they discovered the elf lord's hidden talent in horse tending, Vanille's stitching ability and Fang's glasswork skills. They would sometimes take time off just to go there.
At times, when scouts are needed, Glorfindel would not be there so the two spend their time among themselves. Fang didn't offer any help anymore and would rather take Vanille with her as they scout the outer borders of Imladris. This, either the brothers Elrohir or Elladan would join in, offering help now and then on certain paths.
It went on for about a month. Fang felt it was like a compressed painting of a one long day.
"Knock, knock."
It was night time. Fang entered Vanille's room. Vanille was already lying on her bed, sheets all tucked in. She got up and patted a space for her friend to sit. "You okay?"
Fang nodded. "Bored, but yeah. You?"
"Sleepy."
Fang smirked. "I'm keeping you awake, missy?"
Vanille stuck her tongue out playfully. "You bet."
Fang looked at her and smiled. "It's been a long while since I last saw you with your hair down. Nightmare's gone?"
"Uh-huh." Vanille twirled her curls. "Do you think… do you think we could really go home?"
Fang went silent and thoughtful. "If we can't, then I certainly want nothing to change again."
"But what if it did?"
"Then I don't know. I think we should just make do with the best we can manage."
"You've grown again, Fang," Vanille said.
Fang smiled. "We're always growing."
