Also, I'd like to note that I do not own ABC's One Life to Live or the characters and I will NOT be receiving any payment whatsoever for writing this story. It is intended for entertainment purposes only.
~*Llanview Hospital*~
Todd looked like death warmed-over as Marty waited with him in an exam room for the doctor. Dr. Kyle Lewis entered, clipboard in hand. "What seems to be the problem?" Dr. Lewis asked, looking at Todd as he lay there in a hospital gown.
"I think I ate a bad sandwich," Todd said as he rubbed his stomach. "I feel like shit."
"Well, what kind of symptoms have you been having?" Kyle asked as he was jotting down some notes.
"He's been vomiting and experiencing light-headedness," Marty spoke up.
"I'm tired... and I feel bloated," Todd added.
"I see," Kyle said as he looked up from Todd's medical chart.
"Well, what's wrong with me, doctor?" Todd demanded.
"It sounds like you may be pregnant," replied Kyle.
"What?" Todd screeched.
Kyle gave Todd a light slap on the back. "Just kidding," he laughed. "It's probably just a simple case of food poisoning. I'll have the nurse come in and draw some blood for some tests."
"Ohhh great," Todd grumbled.
"Any other symptoms?" Kyle asked.
"Well, yeah... " Todd said, looking greatly embarrassed. "I've been urinating a lot."
"It really does sound like he may be pregnant," Marty said as with a small laugh.
"Well, we both know that isn't possible so there must be some other explanation," said Kyle with a smile as he settled his gaze upon his patient. "I'll send the nurse right in. Don't go anywhere."
"Ohhh I won't. I'm in this funky little hospital gown, remember?" Todd remarked. "If I get up, my ass will be hanging out..."
Kyle didn't say anything to that remark, just raised an eyebrow and walked out. "I hate hospitals," Todd spoke in a grumble.
"Ohhh I know, Todd. But everything's going to be just fine," Marty tried to soothe him.
"Why were you joking with the doctor about me being pregnant?" he demanded.
"Well, because it just kind of SOUNDS like you are."
"I can't possibly be..." Todd said as he placed a hand upon his stomach.
"Ohhh I don't know, Todd. Your mother was known for doing hellish experiments in her Lab of Horrors. What if she-?"
"What the fuck? You mean, you think it could be true?" Todd asked fearfully.
"I don't know... but we could do a test, I guess. Just to rule out the possibility."
"Well, let's do a test then. I know I am not pregnant. I just ate a bad sandwich," spoke Todd. "This is all John's fault."
Marty stood up and began looking around the exam room. She found a pregnancy test in one of the drawers. "Okay, here's a test," she said, opening the package and handing the little white stick to Todd.
"What am I supposed to do with this?" Todd asked helplessly.
"You pee on the stick," she responded.
"Ohhh my God!" he gasped. He couldn't believe he had actually agreed to this test. He couldn't POSSIBLY be pregnant, could he? This whole thing was nuts!
"I'll wait outside, and you go on in the bathroom and do your thing," Marty encouraged.
"Alright," Todd said grudgingly as he carefully got up off the exam table, holding the stick in one hand and trying to hold the back of his hospital gown closed with his other hand. After awhile he gave up as he really didn't care if Marty saw his backside.
He went into the adjoining bathroom and preformed the pregnancy test. "How many minutes until we get a result?" he called out to Marty.
"Two minutes," Marty answered as she peeked into the bathroom.
"Ohhh God, I feel sick," Todd mumbled as he bent over the toliet. Marty gently stroked his hair as she truly did feel bad for him. He was absolutely miserable.
"I'm going to die," Todd whined.
"You're going to be alright," Marty whispered to him as she continued to caress his hair.
His world was spinning around as he held onto Marty for support. "I hope I don't puke on you," he said softly.
"I hope you don't either," she said as she placed a kiss on the top of his head.
Her tenderness with him was the only thing that kept him from losing it as he wretched repeatedly into the toliet. After he threw up, Marty helped him rinse his mouth and then picked up the pregnancy test. Her eyes got huge as she saw the result.
"Todd, I'm afraid you're pregnant," she told him.
~*The Minute-Man Motel*~
Cutter couldn't believe it. Morris the porcupine was actually breathing as it blinked it's eyes. "You're alive!" he said in excitement. "I'm so happy! I knew if I wished hard enough, it would happen!"
Cutter set Morris down on the floor, then got down to the porcupine's level. "Now that you're alive, what game would you like to play?" he asked as he looked at what had once been a stuffed, butt-ugly creature.
Morris blinked his eyes again, foaming slightly at the mouth. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Cutter asked him. "Like you-you want to eat me?"
Morris's shiny teeth became visible as he pranced across the floor, approaching Cutter. "Ohhh you're so cute! You wanna play?"
Morris made a strange growling sound as he jumped onto Cutter's chest, scratching his claws into Cutter's shirt. There was the distinct sound of the fabric ripping to shreds as Cutter's chest was exposed. With a viscious snarl, Morris bit off Cutter's nipple.
"Ohhh Morris, why did you have to go and do that for?" Cutter said as he looked down and saw the blood.
The porcupine ran away, the nipple clenched in it's teeth. Cutter picked up a towel, pressing it to his chest to quell the bleeding. He rose to his feet to go after Morris who had jumped out the window.
"Morris, where are you? Come back to Daddy," Cutter called out as he chased after the porcupine.
~*Llanview Hospital*~
"It can't be true. It can't be," Todd said as Marty and Dr. Lewis stood over him as he lay on the exam table. When Marty had showed him the result of the test, Todd has passed out, and Kyle had to help her get him back onto the exam table.
"There's no possible way he can be pregnant," Kyle said to Marty as he stared at the pregnancy test.
"His mother is a lunatic who has done terrible experiments on him and his twin brother in her Lab of Horrors. She could have possibly altered his DNA, making it possible for him to get pregnant," Marty explained.
"Todd, I need to ask you some questions," said Dr. Lewis. "When was the last time you had sex?"
Todd looked dazed as he responded to Dr. Lewis's question. "Sex?" he repeated. He couldn't even remember. "Ohhh I guess it's been somewhat over eight years ago..."
"EIGHT years?" Dr. Lewis gasped.
"It's been eight years since he's had sex, and he's pregnant?" Dr. Lewis exclaimed. "Fish and I have sex every single night, and he hasn't gotten pregnant yet!"
"Look, I didn't need to know that," Todd said, shaking his head. "This just can't be possible. I CAN'T be pregnant."
"I think we need to do an ultrasound," Marty suggested. "We need to check on the baby and confirm that he really is pregnant..."
"No, Marty. I just wanna go home now," Todd protested.
"I'll go get the ultrasound machine," stated Dr. Lewis before walking out of the room.
"Everything's going to be alright, Todd. I'm right here," Marty soothed him.
"I'm not ready to have a baby. This whole thing is just nuts," Todd remarked as Dr. Lewis returned with a portable ultrasound machine.
"Okay, Todd, let's see what's going on in there," Kyle said as he began to get everything set up.
"Let's not," grumbled Todd, but to his displeasure, his stomach was exposed and Dr. Lewis squirted some cool gel onto it.
"Hey, watch it... that's cold!" Todd snarled. Kyle pressed the transducer gently against Todd's abdomen as an image appeared on the screen. There was a steady thumping sound that went along with the image.
"What the hell is that?" Todd asked, pointing to the moving blob on the screen.
"That's your baby," answered Kyle.
"My what?" Todd screeched. "Ohhh hell no!"
"There's no doubt, Mr. Manning. You're pregnant," Dr. Lewis diagnosed.
Todd looked at Marty, horrified. She didn't know what to say or even how to comfort him. She just held his hand as she stood at his side to support him. "How could this have happened?" Todd whimpered tearfully.
~*The Minute-Man Motel*~
Rick was filming his latest porno entitled "Slutty Sex Slave." Aubrey stood naked by the bed while she had Clint Buchanan tied to the bed. She was spanking his ass as Rick held the camera. "Ohhh yeah, baby, spank him," Rick encouraged.
Clint whined as Aubrey made his ass so red. "I've been bad," he said as she shook her boobs in his face.
Clint was having a difficult time getting it up, considering he was a heart patient and around sixty years old, but Aubrey was down on her knees on the bed, trying to make his 'little plumper' come alive. "Ohhhh yeah, suck his salami!" Rick encouraged.
Suddenly there was a crash as the window shattered and something scurried into the room. "What the hell was that?" Clint exclaimed, but Aubrey didn't seem to notice. She was still trying to give him head.
A creature jumped up on the bed, snarling at Clint and Aubrey. Rick didn't seem to care; he continued filming. "Come on, go down on him!" he was yelling at Aubrey.
Morris the porcupine was thirsty for blood, so he attacked Clint and Aubrey, leaving them both in a pool of blood. Then he jumped on Rick's head, attacking him visciously. Rick screamed like a girl as the porcupine began devouring his face. A few minutes later, Rick lay on the floor, twitching as his blood seeped out onto the carpet.
Cutter walked in, seeing the destruction. "Where are you, Morris?" he called out to the porcupine. "You've been a bad, bad boy. Just wait till Daddy finds you. I might have to send you off to bed without any supper."
Cutter stepped over Rick's body, then went outside in search of Morris. What was he to do with his insolent 'child'?
