Sam and Castiel had come to the mutual agreement that they should try and track down some more Shape shifters and try and force some information out of them as to how they could make Dean male again. Dean was not overly eager to come into contact with shape shifters again, but he did want to return to normal, so begrudgingly agreed to help.

Two days after Dean had awoken female, Sam was conducting research on his laptop in the living room section of a rather fancy hotel they had managed to afford using a few poker game winnings. Castiel had insisted that they keep moving, in case anything was tracking them. They would later discover that this was perhaps the best idea that the angel of the Lord had ever had.

The eldest Winchester was becoming irritable and impatient in the bedroom, with very little to do since his brother had announced he should be on lockdown, moaning about how "weird it feels to pee like a chick", but that having certain parts of the female anatomy had proven to be very interesting. Castiel did not understand this, but he assumed that it had some sort of perverted connotation. After about forty-five minutes of non-stop complaining, Dean had uncomfortably turned his conversation to a more personal level.

As he (or she) looked Castiel up and down, the conversation began "Don't 'cha want to sit, Cas?"

"No," Castiel replied "I am used to standing for long periods of time".

Dean's slender female shoulders shrugged sluggishly. "Suit yourself… you know, Cas, I've been wondering, how comes you're back?"

Castiel swallowed hard. He had been expecting this conversation.

"Sam prayed for me and I answered", He felt the honest approach was the best way to tackle this.

Dean suddenly shoved a pointed finger towards the ceiling "You're telling me you were up there the whole time, while Sam almost died, while Bobby almost died and when you could have saved Lisa?" He shook his head in contempt. "Why did you only answer now, Cas?"

"Your life might have been in danger."

"You haven't given a rats ass about me since you went MIA after heaven's civil war. For all I knew, you could have been killed and…" Dean's voice trailed off, and Castiel could clearly distinguish that the urge not to cry was pulsating throughout the man's whole being.

"I wasn't killed." Castiel offered.

"No, but I didn't know that. What if you were dead and I didn't help protect you, like I couldn't protect Lisa? What if Sammy was dead, and you didn't help protect him?" By this point, the struggle was over and tears were rolling down Dean's cheeks. "Damn, being a chick really makes you cry a whole lot easier." He cursed and wiped the tears off with the back of his hand.

"It's the pheromones." Castiel said, avoiding the woman's watery blue stare. "I had to stop being your guardian. I was made to. Sam understands, why can't you?"

Dean's petite jaw snapped shut and he stormed into the living room area. "Sam, is it true, you know why Cas has been in heaven all this time?"

"Uh… yeah" Sam replied, ducking his head as low as possible behind the screen of his laptop so he could avoid the female's furious glare. "I think I'll let him explain it, though."

Castiel had followed behind Dean and was now yet again being angrily addressed. He took a deep sigh, filling his vessel's lungs with air. Though he did not need oxygen, this action was relaxing and he often found it useful for when he felt he might experience strong emotion. It pushed everything out, letting only the calm, rational Castiel take charge.

"My army, they were becoming concerned that I was not strong enough to be the leader of heaven. I tried to persuade them that they should no longer follow me, after the civil war was won, but they will not listen to reason about free-will. They still believe that my father resurrected me to be our leader, but that if I let my emotions or free-will run their heaven, they would kill me and let Raphael recommence the apocalypse." Castiel ruffled the back of his scruffy black hair. "To prove myself, they made me prove that I no longer consider myself emotionally attached to you. I had to show them by leaving you to your own devices, even though I still consider myself the Winchester guardian." He played with a loose string on the end of the sleeve of his trench coat.

It seemed as though Dean didn't quite know how to react. He had a million and one questions to ask and no way to word one.

Sam piped up from behind his laptop, upon noticing the discomfort in Castiel's stance "It was us that taught Cas to embrace free-will, so naturally the angels wouldn't want him mingling with us".

Castiel nodded, it wasn't a lie. Perhaps it wasn't the whole truth, but it was definitely not a lie. He shot Sam a quick glance of gratitude. "I couldn't let the apocalypse happen, not after what you had to go through, losing your brother to stop it. So I did what they asked."

"Besides, I think I found a lead on where we can find some Shifters." Sam noted, but the conversation was cut short when the door crashed to the ground suddenly and five members of staff from the hotel, including a cute waitress Dean had been eyeing up earlier, ran in, their eyes pure charcoal. Demons.