Thank you so much to the five reviewers that dragged me away from my TV screen and convinced me to write another chapter!

In other news, the rating on this will soon be upped to M(Naomily without smut?), and if I don't update next week, it's because I have posted another fic that I'm working on.

Peace!- Ames

Disclaimer: I don't own Skins.


At first, I wanted to physically hurt Naomi. Of course she was scared. She was always scared. I hated her for it.

I thought that when we got together, she would let me in. I thought she would go to the ends of the Earth for me.

I don't know when Mandy became real. When she started to have actual feelings for me. I didn't know how much time it had been. I had started out trying to harness and control the power I had over Naomi, and use it against her, but I guess I still was Katie's submissive sister at the end of all things and that fucking terrified me.

I so desperately wanted to fix this. To run into Naomi's arms and kiss her passionately, and just feel her. All of her.

But more than that, I knew how much passion she had. Couldn't she spare a fraction of it for me? I needed to see her anger, her jealousy, her lust. But she was just robotic. She was going through the motions and it fucking killed me because I needed her to not be supportive. I needed her to beg for me. I needed to push her away when she tried to gather me in her arms. I needed her to make me crumble.

Ever since that fateful morning on the rooftop, she's been completely bottled up. And I know how she feels. I see the shadows under her eyes. She hasn't been eating anything. I feel her eyes bore a hole into my back from across the room when she thinks I'm asleep. I see the red rims of her eyes when I push too far.

And she's finally pushed me back.

I wanted her to snap. But this cold resignation was even worse. It made me feel like an executioner.

I tried to convince myself I only picked Mandy because I knew I wouldn't fall in love with her. That was a lie. Naomi totally owned me. She always had. I couldn't look at anyone else with her around me.

Then why could she?

She could make me do anything at her beck and call and it wasn't fucking fair.

It had been months, and I had yet to hear a sullen, "no" from her lips. To see that trademark hint of a smile that was visibly pushed back into place. My brave, strong Naomi. I was so much in love with her, but the girl I had been living with just wasn't...her.

I hated that she couldn't be strong for me, but I hated myself so much more for wanting to wrap my arms around her and protect her from what was hurting her.

From me.

A lot had happened while I was in my revenge-tinted bubble. When Katie came to get my from my…Naomi's house, she looked distracted. I pushed and she revealed that she had been sending a lot of time with Effy. Effy. Effy fucking Stonem. The one that hit my twin sister over the head with a rock. And now they were best friends? Was Katie holding the group together? She was holding our family together. My family. And I had been off in my own fucking world while hers was falling apart.

Regret.

It owned me.

Katie sent me a video of her, Effy, and Pandora playing ridiculous instruments. For the first time in years, I saw the tenderness in her eyes, a familiar sweet smile covering her face. My smile, covered with a hint of sadness, and longing.

Wait…longing?

How much had I missed?

I pushed my girlfriend too far.

I slept with JJ.

Freddie had gone AWOL.

God knows where Cook was.

My sister was with Effy.

Effy was mental.

Pandora had a twisted view of the world.

And Thomas, the sweet French-speaking boy, had been hardened- not by poverty, but by living in fucking Bristol.

And I? I had fucking no one. And it was my own fucking fault. For letting Naomi own me.

But I still couldn't hate her because she hadn't turned me into this. I had.

Regret.

I had to get out of here.

I was just sitting on my bed with my laptop open in front of me, about to make reservations for a flight, any flight out of here, when my phone beeped.

Birthday party. Freddie's shed.

Since when had Effy known my number?

Katie just walked in. She seemed to be lost in thought. Like she was in her own world.

This party thing will be my last act in Bristol. My last time seeing Naomi.

What was left of my heart sank at the very thought.

But I pushed it away. This party shit could wait. The Fitch twins needed to have a fucking chat first.