A/N: I hope it picks up from here... last chapter was bit dry... sorry Agz.
Oh, BTW: Here's your double entry *grins*
jjjjjjjj change in POV
ooooooo time pass
Disclaimer: Still don't... still won't
Love Is Kind: Secret
Jacob's POV
I hate being different. It's so hard and frustrating. I just wish I was like the others you know... normal... well as normal as a wolf can get. But I'm not normal; I'm way past weird too. I mean, I am a wolf like the rest of my pack brother... and Leah... but I'm also different.
I can phase at any time like my pack mates, but on a full moon night it feels like I have to, like it's a necessity to do so. If I try to ignore it my wolf starts whining in my head and it really does grind me up something else... damn wolf!
My pack mates can't read my mind either which his really weird. I can hear them through our link, but they can't hear me unless I speak directly to them. It's strange, I can't explain it and it seems neither can Billy. It's a bonus though coz wolf links have zero privacy which really sucks. So yeah... weird has those type of advantages.
Billy really ain't much of a help about why I'm so different from the others coz he has secrets, along with the rest of the elders. They keep looking at me funny and whispering to themselves everytime I walk into a room and they were having a meeting (it's not like the put sighs on the door saying: Keep Out, Elders Discussion In Order...). If those secrets are so fucken important, tell me!
I hate being different even if it has its perks. It's one thing being different because you can change into a giant bear-like creature, it's another thing completely being different from other bear-like creatures, and it ain't cool.
People say they like being different, but anyone can take about that much different before it's too different even for them... I know I'm rambling but it's what I think, it's how I feel, it's what I'm always thinking... if I'm not thinking about those dumb leeches that caused this in the first place.
I guess with all this useless ramble about being different all I'm trying to say is... I feel like a freak! Like a big (too big) bear-like creature, with a whiny wolf and other crazy shit like that freak!
jjjjjj
Bella was sleeping with Max on Edward's bed. They looked so beautiful together, mother and son. Edward was watching them sleep again. He wasn't worried about not being able to read Max's thoughts anymore; he was fine with it now. He could live with not hearing his son's thoughts; he couldn't hear Bella's either.
Eddie, Alice said in his mind. He got up and walked out the room quietly.
"What is it?" he asked.
"I can't see."
"What?"
"The future, I can't see it."
"What are you trying to say?"
"I don't know... I can't see Max's future either."
"You couldn't see it before, what worries you now?"
"Well... see... the thing is... I think-." Edward frowned.
"My son is not going to take part in some fight that has unknown outcomes."
"It's not only Max's future I can't see."
"Oh?"
"I also can't see the wolves' future, so that means that they will take part."
"I can't stop them. It's their choice."
"Yeah... I know..."
"Was that all?"
"Yep, that's all."
"Alice..."
"Swear!"
"Then why are your thoughts blocked?"
"I just want to have a normal conversation with you for once. One where you don't already know what I'm going to say when I say it. There's no fun in that." Edward rolled his eyes.
"Of course not. Whatever then."
"Do me a favour."
"What's that?"
"Get me a picture of Bella and Max sleeping. I want to put it in her photo album."
"Sure Alice, of course." Alice smiled at her brother.
"Bye then."
"Where are you off to?"
"To get Max more clothes of course. He's already wearing that shirt again."
"I thought he liked that shirt. Said his grandpa got it for him for his birthday."
"Yes, I was there when he said it. I just can't have him wearing it every two days."
"Hmm... whatever then. Good-bye Alice."
"Bye bro." She skipped away and Edward went back into his room trying to figure out what is was she was hiding.
ooooooo
Victoria had made a threat. She was coming soon, and she was bringing company... lots of it. The pack was going to fight too, much to Bella's dismay. She'd been sent to the Rez as protection while the Cullen's went hunting for Victoria. Alice had gone off shopping with Max so he'd also be out of the way for the time being.
"Don't do this Jacob," Bella pleaded with her best friend who seemed adamant to fight.
"This is what we were made for Bella," Jacob said. "It's what we do."
"They're stronger than you Jake. They could kill you."
"You're lack of faith in us is a little insulting Bella." She was quiet for a bit.
"Please Jake. Don't do it." Jacob sighed.
"We have to. We can't not." Bella sighed.
"Fine... do what you want then, but can you drive me to Edward's?" The treaty had temporarily been slightly changed for the war with Victoria. Jacob was allowed to go to the Cullen's house to find out things but the others (both the Cullen's and the pack) weren't allowed to cross the border and if the pack did cross the boarder, they had to stay away from the Cullen home. As much as Jacob hated being messenger, he was the only one that 'seemed fit for the job'.
"Do I have to?" he whined.
"Yes, please Jake." Jacob sighed.
"Fine. Let's go then." Bella looked at him up and down. "What?"
"Aren't you going to go put a shirt on?"
"I'm going to have to phase when I get back anyway... and besides, it's not like I'm going to the Boston Tea Party or something."
"Hmm... okay then. Alright, fine." They got into his Rabbit and he drove Bella to Edward's. Just his luck the Cullen's were outside, well Doc and his wife were missing, but that hardly mattered.
"Thanks." Jacob stopped his baby and turned off the engine.
"Bye then." Bella rolled her eyes getting out. Edward rushed to her and kissed her gently. Jacob got out too, rolling his eyes.
"Does he own a shirt?" Edward asked, looking at the young wolf that was walking towards them wearing nothing but a pair of ragged cut-off jeans and Vans. "Hello Jacob," Edward said, arm protectively around Bella's waist.
"Cullen," Jake replied standing beside Rosalie just to tick the blonde off.
"Any new developments?"
"Nah. No..." Jacob was interrupted by Rosalie who was very much in his space, sniffing him. "What are you doing leech."
"I know that since you're the dog it's your job to sniff but I couldn't help it," she replied sniffing again. "But you smell different."
"Different how?" Alice asked stepping closer and sniffing Jacob.
Oh great, another difference, Jacob thought to himself.
"Oh... he does..." Emmett and Jasper stepped closer and took a whiff too.
"Hey, you're right," Emmett said. "He almost smells like Bella when she's been hanging out with the dogs."
"What?" Bella asked. She didn't know that she smelt... like dog.
"Yeah..." Alice said. "Like... like you can smell the humanness of her but there's that layer of dog on her. Come smell Ed, come smell!" Edward stepped closer, curiosity getting the better of him.
"Try me leech," Jacob growled. Edward smirked and took a whiff. His eyes were shut for a complete second before he opened them again and looked at Jacob with confusion.
"He does smell different," he concluded.
"Told you," Rosalie said.
"Wait..." Alice said. "I want to try something." She rushed into the house and came back with never before seen shorts and a t-shirt. "Put these on, I want to test a theory." Jacob took the clothes with caution. "There's nothing wrong with them. They aren't voo-dooed to kill you or anything."
"Whatever," Jake said, walking to a thicket of trees. He took off his cut-offs and put the clothes on. He came out and walked to the others. Alice sniffed him.
"Theory tested and proven to be correct," she said smiling brightly. Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett sniffed too. Edward lay-ed off this time.
"Whow..." Emmett said. "He smells completely human now."
"I know right?" Rosalie said. "You're weird Jacob Black."
"And you're still a leech," Jacob replied. Rosalie raised an eyebrow at him.
"Was that supposed to be an insult?" Jacob smirked like he'd been waiting for her to say that.
"So how many children did you say you have?"
"Fuck you dog." Jacob grinned at her satisfactorily. Alice gasped all of a sudden. Jasper was the first to re-act.
"Alice?" he said, touching his wife gently. "What is it?"
"It's... it's nothing. It doesn't matter anymore," Alice said, waving her hand about. Edward looked at her strangely; she was blocking her thoughts again.
"You leeches are all weird. I'm leaving now, before I catch leech-o-litis and leech-flu," Jacob said.
"Yeah... you should go," Rosalie said smirking at him. "We wouldn't want to have to worry about ticks and rabies." Jacob grinned at her again, giving her his 'you're a cool chick when you want to be' nod. Everyone was surprised by this. Rosalie actually liked Jacob? Could it be?
"Later Bells."
"Bye Jake," Bella said waving slightly. Jacob got into the car and drove off.
I know what just happened to you...
oooooo
Jacob finally reached his house and was ready to go to bed and sleep so he'd be ready for the patrol later, but instead he found a house filled with elders and pack mates. When he'd walked in they'd all fallen silent, like whatever it was they'd been discussing was about him... which it probably was.
Next time, put a fucken: Keep out... JACOB, he thought pissed. As soon as he sat down on the couch between his best friends, Embry and Quil, they both began sniffing him.
"You have got to be kidding me!" Jacob said, throwing his hands up and getting off the couch and going and standing by the door.
"Dude, you smell weird," Quil said.
"Yeah... like... non-wolf," Embry said.
"I heard," Jacob said.
"From who?" Sam asked, also sniffing the boy. Jacob took a step back.
"Space dude. I heard it from the Cullen's."
"You were at the Cullen's?" Billy asked.
"I was dropping Bella off," Jacob defended.
"Hmm... I see."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"What?"
"Nothing, it's nothing."
"Maybe you should tell him," Sue Clearwater said.
"Tell me what?" Jacob asked.
"Not yet," Billy said. "Just not yet."
"What are you talking about old man?" Jacob asked, kneeling in front of his father. "Talk to me." Billy shook his head.
"It doesn't much matter now Jacob. Don't worry about it." Jacob sighed. He hated it when Billy did this, always keeping secrets that were probably very vital.
"Fine." Jacob sat down with a sigh. "Fine." He laid his head against his father's leg and Billy patted his head gently humming an old lullaby Jacob's mother used to sing to him before she died, one that Emily seemed to like to hum often.
Wait... the change is only just beginning...
oooooo
The Cullen children always looked at Jacob for a long time in wonder whenever he was around. It was so strange how one change could turn the Cullen's mindset around so much.
Ever since Jacob stopped smelling like wolf (having to change clothes every time he met up with the Cullen's to discuss progress) they actually like him a little more (after Jasper almost attacked him from bloodlust – which no body spoke about because it was just too weird a discussion). Even Rosalie seemed to like the young wolf a little more... a little more than Bella.
Rosalie wasn't much of a liker, but there was something she liked about Jacob. Maybe it was that he didn't take any of her bullshit (always with a comeback to Rosalie's mean remarks about dogs), or maybe it was because there was something incredibly cool about the kid.
Rosalie didn't care much for explainations, she just liked him. She didn't have to explain to anyone why she liked him anyway, it was none of their business! She could like or dislike whoever she wanted, whenever she wanted and for whatever reason she wanted!
It seemed Rose wasn't the only one who'd had a change of heart. Edward seemed to be able to stand the wolf a little more (only just) since the whole scent change. He could stand next to the wolf for periods of time without cringing or wanting to strangle the mutt... too much. He even shared small jokes with the Native, ones that were actually sort of nice and not quite so insulting. It was a good change that they all appreciated.
Their slight friendship with Jacob was a good thing too because the pack started to relax a bit too and trust the Cullen's just a little more, but not completely.
Of course the pack would always be suspicious and ready for the Cullen's to break one... just one... treaty rule and they'd be ready for action... That was just the wolves... always ready... But it didn't much matter to the Cullen's; they didn't really mind much... they minded, but not much...
oooooo
Max was muttering a spell over and over to himself. He had to get it right if he wanted to make things right. If he could fix things now he wouldn't have to go through the pain later.
"Everto!" he muttered. It was such a simple spell, but it was hard. One mispronounciation, one wrong move and it could destroy him.
"Hey little one," Rosalie said, smiling at the boy.
"Hi Aunt Rosie."
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing. Just sitting."
"Only just sitting?"
"Yep."
"Oh... okay." Max looked at his aunt curiously.
"Was there something you wanted Aunt Rosie?"
"About your spells..."
"You want to know about spells that can make women fall pregnant don't you."
"Are you sure you're ten?" Max giggled sweetly.
"You ask in the future too. Don't worry Aunt Rosie; I'm working on one just for you."
"Really?"
"But you have to be patient coz you can only get it in like twenty years."
"Twenty years? Why not ten?"
"Coz I'll be too young in ten years."
"Oh... okay then... fine. What's another twenty years right?"
"Right!" Rosalie sighed.
"Ah well... what do you want for lunch today?"
"Pizza!"
"You had that yesterday." Max pouted cutely. "Fine, pizza it is." Gosh, no one could say no to that pout.
"Thank you Aunt Rosie."
"Sure kid, whatever." Max giggled again but then got serious and began muttering the spell.
Rosalie looked at him curiously, not catching the words because they were being murmured to low. She sighed then got up and went to the kitchen to get Max his pizza.
There was something so familiar about that boy... besides the looking like Edward and Bella thing... something amazing...
ooooooo
Jacob was lying on his back trying to fall asleep. It was next to impossible. It was a full moon night and he couldn't ignore the wolf that wanted to be set free.
What is wrong with me? he asked himself again. He could almost hear his wolf whining, begging to be let out, to be set free.
Jacob had been ignoring his wolf since the moon came out, but now it was impossible to when his wolf kept whining and whimpering in his head.
"Shut up!" he said out loud. He sighed. This always happened. Since he first phased this would happened. It didn't happen to the others, just him. It was annoying.
Like normal, his wolf began howling in his head, another thing the others didn't have, a whining wolf. The others wolves didn't talk to them, they shut up always, never said a word... heck, they didn't have a wolf alter-ego, they were one with their wolves. Even moon-wolves didn't have whiny wolves.
But for Jacob, it was different. He felt like his wolf was another person sometimes, especially when it was a full moon. The wolf would whine and whimper and howl, just begging to be let out. The thing never spoke an actual word, but it could communicate with Jacob and the freaky thing was that Jacob understood what it wanted.
The wolf whined painfully, like it hurt to be locked away. Jacob sighed shouting 'fine, you win' before storming out the house and stripping. He phased instantly and started running to no place in particular.
If his wolf was human, Jacob knew it would have been grinning goofily. Fuck you, he thought to it. It whined but continued to run. I hate you! Jacob thought to his wolf which growled. Shut up and run, I wanna get back home. Jacob ran to the top of the mountain and right to the edge. You have got to be kidding me. The wolf howled loudly to the night. Another wolf howled in response. You gonna tell me what that is or are you going to call some crazy moon-wolf over who'll try and mount me again? The wolf growled. Fine, don't tell me fucker. I don't care. We're going home. The wolf whined. We're going home! There was no response. Jacob sighed in his mind and began running back to the Rez. This was too weird no matter how many times it'd happened before.
When Jacob got to the house his father was sitting outside with a pair of jeans. Jacob walked to his father – still in his wolf form – and grabbed the jeans with his mouth before disappearing into the forest and getting dressed.
He came back out and sat on the porch steps, looking towards the forest. Billy sighed deeply behind him and rolled closer.
"Jacob..." he said gently. Jacob turned his head slowly and looked at his father through tired eyes. "I know you don't like being different."
"Don't like? I ha-."
"But!" Billy interrupted. "But there's a reason."
"Oh yeah? What's the reason then?"
"You remember about your mother?"
"Yeah... what's that got to do with anything?"
"It's because of that that you're different from the others."
"Oh... is it all because of her?"
"Yes."
"Oh... so... so..." He had nothing to say. Billy sighed, almost in relief.
"Get some rest Jacob." Jacob got up and walking into the house.
"Dad..." he said, turning to look at his father.
"Yes son?"
"I love you."
"I love you too Jacob." Jacob smiled then walked into the house and into his room. He got into bed and fell asleep right away.
TBC
Oh Agz! I'm sorry if it's lame, I'm having troubles, but don't worry, I'll figure it out... it's getting to the good part, promise.
Peeps, please R&R... thank you lovelies...
MwahzZ
(",) SmilezZ Ya'll
