Cruise Control – Chapter 3

-O-

DISCLAIMER: I am not connected to Emmerdale and its characters, which belong to ITV

-O-

"OK, you've got me worried now!" Jackson was concerned about the next words that Aaron would utter.

Aaron looked away; Jackson's trusting eyes would make it impossible for him to say what he wanted to say. He was almost backing out, but he had reached the point of no return and he had to get this off his chest and to hell with the consequences, "You remember that film we were watching; the one with the mechanics in it?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, I met one of the blokes in it; the dark-haired guy."

"Really?" Jackson was surprised, "Where did you meet him?"

"In a public toilet; I was in Hotten and I was bursting for a piss, so I went into those toilets by the park, you know the ones?" Aaron wondered why the hell he was asking Jackson if he knew the whereabouts of the toilets!

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, he was in there, that guy I mean."

"Are you sure it was him?"

"Well, if it wasn't, it was his twin brother!"

Jackson was getting agitated; he did not know why Aaron was telling him all this, "So, what gives?"

"He came on to me!" Aaron plucked up the courage to look Jackson in the eye, "He played with me: he even tried to do that thing with his dick, like in the film..."

"Docking?"

"Yeah, he took me in a cubicle and did it."

Jackson was shocked, "What do you mean, 'he took me in a cubicle'? Why did you do that? Didn't you stop him?"

"Well, yeah, I pushed him off; he fell back on the toilet."

"But, why did you go in there with him?" Jackson had a wounded look on his face.

"I dunno, I was missing you and I suppose I was horny!"

"That's no excuse! God, I'm only gone a month and you start cottage cruising!"

"Cottage cruising?" Aaron looked confused.

"That's what it's called; blokes who cruise the toilets for sex."

"But, I didn't!" Aaron pleaded his case, "I only went in for a slash!"

"But, this guy came on to you and you went with him!" Jackson was trying to rationalise the situation.

"No I didn't!" Aaron was trying to make Jackson see that it meant nothing, "I pushed him off me; it wasn't like it is with you! It was horrible, dirty, disgusting! It feels so right when I'm with you; but that felt so wrong...I hated it!"

"...but you were horny!" Jackson said sarcastically as he frowned at Aaron.

"Jackson, I had to tell you, the thought of what happened has been doing my head in. Please say you forgive me!"

Jackson stared at the wall, all the trust that he had built up in Aaron had suddenly evaporated. He felt as if a rug had been pulled from under his feet, "I don't know, Aaron. I can't believe you did that! How do I know that you won't do it again?"

"But I didn't do anything; not really. It's not like I shagged the guy's brains out for Christ's sake!" Aaron knew that his protestations sounded a bit feeble; he still felt guilty about what had happened and knew he needed to take some of the blame.

Jackson did not answer; so many thoughts were whirling around in his head that he did not know what to say.

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That night, Jackson and Aaron were in bed, facing away from each other. The atmosphere in the room could be cut with a knife. They were cold with each other. After Aaron's confession, Jackson was hurt and angry and Aaron was upset and scared. He was scared of losing Jackson; he knew now that his boyfriend meant the world to him; he may even be in love with him, but he felt that, once again, he had messed things up. He wished that he could have kept quiet about his encounter with the stranger but he knew, deep down, that his relationship with Jackson was too important to be built on lies and deceit. He also knew that he had betrayed Jackson's trust. Even with Jackson right there beside him, he felt lonely and isolated. He wanted to hold Jackson so much, but a wedge had suddenly been driven between them and he did not know how to remove it.

Jackson decided to return to London the next day. Aaron pleaded with him to stay for the whole weekend so that they could talk about things, but Jackson insisted that he needed to get away and think things through. Aaron knew how stubborn Jackson could be when he set his mind on something, so he did not push it. He wanted Jackson to come to terms with what had happened in his own way. He hoped beyond hope for a reconciliation but he knew that he would have to play this Jackson's way.

A week passed and Aaron had not heard a word from Jackson. He texted him a couple of times, but did not get a response. Aaron did not blame Jackson for the silent treatment; and as far as he was concerned, he had lost Jackson. He beat himself up over it, if only he had not had to answer the call of nature when he went into Hotten; if only he had not been so horny when he went into the toilets; if only that guy hadn't been there; if only he had been able to keep quiet about his brief encounter with that stranger. But all the 'if only's' in the world could not change history! He thought about that guy in the toilets and blamed him for the situation that he found himself in now. If he could meet him again, he'd like to punch his lights out!

Aaron did not expect to meet the stranger ever again, but a twist of fate was just around the corner. He had a day off and decided to try to cheer himself up by shopping in a precinct in Hotten; he had a favourite shop there, where he liked to buy his clothes. He was just walking through the pedestrian mall towards the shop, when he spotted a familiar face. It was the handsome stranger! Not only that, but the man had a woman and two young children in tow; two little girls. Aaron stared, as much as he dared, but there was no mistaking that this was the same man. He had suspected the guy was married and it looked as if his deductions were spot-on. He stalked the family through the mall, keeping his distance so as not to arouse suspicion. He felt like walking up to the young wife, a pretty blonde, probably in her late twenties; and saying "Your husband likes to shag other men in toilets!" But, he knew that he would need to be more subtle than that. Finally, after about an hour, the man broke off from the rest of his family to visit the public conveniences in the shopping complex. Aaron seized his chance and followed the man; entering the toilets after him.

The place looked deserted and Aaron assumed that the man must have gone into a cubicle. He waited patiently for the man to reappear which, after a couple of minutes, he did. The guy was wearing jogging bottoms and a matching top which, being a warm day, he had taken off and he was carrying it in arms. He saw Aaron staring at him.

"So," Aaron began, "you can't resist a bit of cruising in the toilets, even with your wife and kids outside!"

The man pretended that he and Aaron had never met before, "Excuse me?" he said, innocently.

"C'mon, you know what I'm getting at! Don't pretend you don't recognise me! Hotten Park? A couple of weeks back? I've lost my boyfriend because of you!"

The man's cheeks were flushed; he looked uncomfortable and wanted to continue to deny everything, but he didn't want to take the blame for something that he didn't see as his fault, so he said, "You did that yourself, sunshine! Don't blame me and make out you didn't want it; you were really up for it...that is; until you lost your bottle!"

Aaron felt a rush of anger, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't march out there and tell your wife what a low-life scumbag you are; cruising the bogs to pick up guys! I bet the poor cow hasn't got a clue!"

"She'd laugh in your face!" the man's bravado resurfaced, "She wouldn't believe a word of it!"

"Not even if I told her about your starring role in a gay porn film?" Aaron sneered.

"What?"

"You heard! What was that epic called now...er, 'Dockers', that was it!"

The man looked a bit sheepish now. He could see no point in denying the fact; and Aaron had obviously seen it. The evidence was on film in any case; so he tried to explain himself, "That was five years ago! I only did it once; my wife had just had our first baby and I was skint; and it was easy money!"

"But, you're married! How can you do that with other guys when you're straight? Or...perhaps you're not straight?" Aaron was trying to reconcile it all in his mind.

"I just like sex!" the man answered, candidly, "Women, men, it's all sex at the end of the day! Not that it's any of your business, anyway!"

"It IS my business when you wreck people's lives...no; MY life, with your skanky ways!" Aaron's anger finally boiled over and he lunged at the man. There was a scuffle and the man dropped his jacket, but he picked it up and managed to pull the door open so that he could make his escape.

"Yeah...jog on, you dirty BASTARD!" Aaron shouted as the man bolted, but he held back from following him outside where other shoppers would have seen them fighting.

As he moved to exit the toilets, Aaron noticed a small, plastic wallet on the tiled floor; the man must have dropped it in the skirmish. Aaron picked it up and looked at it; it was the man's photo-driving license! There, in black and white, was the man's name and address. Aaron read the details: Greg Cooper, 22 Dale View Tower, Hotten.

Aaron did not know how he could make use of this information, but he now knew the man's name, for what it was worth!

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A few days after the incident with Greg Cooper at the shopping centre, Adam invited Aaron on a night out. Adam had always been a good friend to Aaron and he could see how much his best mate was missing Jackson. They ended up at Bar West, as always, and after a game of pool, Aaron was sitting at the bar while Adam went to the gents. "Hi Aaron!" a voice behind him made him turn around.

He immediately recognised the short, blond guy as Jackson's friend, Dexter, the guy with the impressive porn collection! "Not with Jackson tonight?" asked Dexter.

"No," Aaron did not want to go into detail about his break-up with his boyfriend, so he just said, "he's away, working in London. I'm with my mate, Adam; he's just having a..." Aaron pointed towards the toilets.

"Listen, mate, I was really grateful to you two for looking after my little stash! I bet you think I'm a right perve!"

"Nah! I've known worse!" Aaron said with all sincerity, then he suddenly hit on an idea, "You haven't still got that DVD called 'Dockers', have you?"

"I expect so; why, did you want to borrow it?"

"Well, yeah, if that's OK with you!"

"No worries! I've got a furniture delivery to do in Emmerdale tomorrow, as it happens, so I'll drop it by the garage, if you're going to be there," Dexter saw the worried look on Aaron's face, "Don't panic, I'll put it in a plain brown wrapper!"

"Cheers, mate, I'll let you have it back as soon as."

"There's no need to bother, I get bored with them after I've seen them a few times! You can keep it; take it as a thank you...you know; to you and Jackson for helping me out!"

Aaron smiled; the scheme that was forming in his mind was going even better than he had planned!