Chapter 3
Disclaimer: Most characters, settings, and some dialogue are property of the creators of Gilmore Girls, and this story is not intended to make money. I own nothing except the plot and creative control of this fanfiction.
If Finn hadn't have fainted at that minute Rory was positive Logan would have punched him. Forgetting that it was probably the worst possible time for her motherly instincts to kick in, Rory quickly bent down to make sure Finn was okay.
"Is he okay, mommy?" Lola said tugging at Rory's coat.
At that Logan got totally pissed, and all but stomped away from the group. Colin debated going after him for a second, but his curiosity and concern for Finn made him stay.
A few minutes later Finn awoke to the familiar blue eyes that haunted his memory for the last five years.
"Finn? Finn? Are you okay?" Rory said hopefully as she saw his emerald green eyes flutter open.
"Explain," Finn wanted to say something else, but Colin was right there, and he needed answers.
Rory hesitated before answering. She considered playing dumb, and asking what he meant, but she knew he was owed an explanation. She sighed before answering.
"Why don't we get a coffee? I'll tell you everything and Lola and I have an hour before I need to get back to my mother's house."
"Sound good, love. They serve good coffee across the street. Um… I think it's best if Colin comes, just in case he needs to take… Lola? for… a walk," They both knew that the reason Colin was actually coming was to keep things civil.
When they got to the coffee shop Finn couldn't hold back his questions anymore.
"How old?"
"She's five Finn," Rory answered.
"And she's?"
"Yours," she answered again, dreading what was coming next.
"Jesus Christ, Rory. You don't think you could have mentioned it? Jesus Fucking Christ," it took all of Finn's strength just to keep his voice level.
"Lola, why don't you go for a walk with Uncle Colin, he'll take you to get candy," As the young girl eagerly walked out the door with Colin, Rory turned her attention back to Finn. "You have every right to swear, Finn, but you sure as hell won't be swearing in front of my kid."
"Our kid," Finn whispered silently.
"What?" Rory asked not able to hear Finn.
"I said our kid, Rory. Dammit. Besides don't you think you did more damage keeping her away from her father? I should have been there. I should have known. Fuck, I should have been the first to know."
She winced at his cold voice. "I didn't tell you because it would have ruined your life," she answered softly.
"That wasn't your choice," Finn said as he stood up. "I'll call… later. I just… I need to think."
After Finn walked out the door Rory started to cry. She hadn't had a breakdown in public since she was pregnant, but she didn't care. She had screwed up big time.
Not even five minutes after he'd left Finn dialed the still familiar number he hadn't used in five years. No matter how pissed he was at her right now, something was bothering him. Rory had lied.
Rory kept crying for a minute before her cell phone started to ring. She wasn't going to answer until she saw the number that was calling. Even though she hadn't used it in years, she couldn't bring herself to delete his number.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Finn got right to the point.
"Because, you shouldn't have had to give up your life to," she answered timidly.
"Cut the crap, Rory. You and I both know that's not true."
"…" It took Rory a second to work up the courage to explain. "Because… I was afraid."
Finn's tone softened slightly, but was still harsh, "Afraid of what, love?"
She relaxed considerably at the endearment, "There are many reasons, but…I…I don't know if I can tell you all of them, Finn."
"I've got to at least know why I didn't get to be there for the first five years of my daughter's life."
Rory took a deep breath, and started to explain talking faster than normal. She had to get it all out, right then, "I was being forced into the same spot as my mom, and I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. If I had told you we would have been shoved into the society world, and I couldn't do that. I couldn't do that to myself or to Lola. I just couldn't."
Finn knew there was more too it, "And…?"
"And… I needed you. I needed you to be the person I was sure you were. Back then I knew I could count on you. I was all set to tell you and then moments before I did I thought of my mom. I wondered if she thought she could count on my dad. Even after he found us, he abandoned us. I couldn't stand the thought of you not being there out of choice, so I made it for you. No matter how hard it was for me that way I wouldn't have been able to deal with it the other way. If you only showed up occasionally when it suited you Lola would be devastated each time you left, and I would never be able to get over you. Just like my mom I would sabotage every relationship I ever had. I would never be happy with another man," Rory rant finished and she added a slight whisper to herself that she hoped Finn didn't hear. "Not that I can be happy now either."
Finn was so close to saying the three words he had been denying for the last five years that he hung up. When he started to calm down he texted her…
I'll be there for you.
The words Rory had needed to hear from him since she found out about Lola were there in tiny letters. The words she always thought would make everything better. So why did she feel so empty?
