A/N: SO the name of there is this song in this chapter and I wrote lyrics to the song just 'cause I didn't feel like searching for a song. It's called see what I've become by Zack Hemsey (lyrics start at 0:46) Anyyyywwaaayyy I didn't know how to do a 4 day time elapse so it's choppy and stuff but whatever. Anyway I was experimenting with a new character dynamic so I hope I did okay. Don't forget to review!

See what I've become

Nate wasn't sure when the sobbing and stopped. It was long past midnight and he was still sitting in the plastic hospital chair. He could cry no longer and all that was left was the black hole ripping at his heart, soul, and mind. Only two weeks before his father had been killed. Now death was coming to claim Sophie and he just couldn't handle it. There was always the chance she would wake up but it was a silly dream. He wasn't there to see what happened but he had theory on what he thought happened. Night slowly slipped to day as Nate fell asleep. He was rudely awoken after what seemed like 10 minutes. The bright light maybe him cringe and he covered his eyes.

"Mr. Ford?" The voice was distant

"What!"

"We need you to wait outside while we do some tests"

"Mmmkay" Nate muttered and got up slowly, staggering out of the room. He went up to the kind looking receptionist and leaned on the desk for support. "What time is it?"

"1:34"

Nate just winced and went to go sit down. It had been over 24 hours since she'd been in a coma and she hadn't woken up yet.

49 hours it had been since the burning house. The team was solemn and kept flittering in and out of Sophie's hospital room. Tara and Maggie had come to visit but couldn't stay long. Nate was constantly by her bedside and hadn't gone home since he'd gotten there.

70 hours had gone by. Nate was growing weaker and weaker with everyday as if he were slowly slipping away with Sophie. Hardison and Parker had started staying away from the hospital, the sight of their friend scaring them. Eliot hung around Nate often to make sure he wouldn't push himself to far. It was about 8 at night when Eliot left. After a few minutes Tara walked in.

"How's she doin'?"

"Not any better" Nate replied gravely

Tara nodded slowly and went to sit down in the chair Eliot had recently vacated. "I know this is hard for you and stuff and I wish I had some sort of comfort but I just don't"

"I've barely gotten any sleep and I haven't even left the hospital"

Tara leaned in and sniffed his jacket. "You haven't changed your clothes?" she asked in disgust

Nate shook his head no and continued staring at Sophie. There was a long silence between the two of them.

"I bet now you wish you would've proposed at the dam" Tara said with a slight laugh

Nate looked at her, his brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Well Sophie said that she was almost positive that you were gonna propose at the dam. Instead you said big plans. You and your cryptic words drive a woman crazy for sure"

Nate grumbled something she couldn't understand and went back to looking at Sophie.

"Have you had anything to drink since all of this happened?"

"No. I haven't left the hospital"

"How are you managing without it? I mean for something like this normally wouldn't you be drowning in a bottle of whiskey?" Tara's voice was curious but Nate found it offensive

"I'm dying" He replied simply

"What?" Tara blurted out

"Well not literally...well maybe. I don't know! I'm just growing weaker every day as if I'm dying with her" Nate shook his head and clenched his eyes shut, burying his face in his hands

"You don't know if she's dying" Tara put a comforting hand on his shoulder

"Oh please you know she's growing closer to death every day" Nate scoffed

"Can't there be hope-"

"-there's no such thing as hope" Nate snapped

96 hours; 4 days and Nate still hadn't left the hospital. Tara came again but didn't even bother to say hi to Nate. He barely even registered the conversation she had with Eliot.

"You might want to get him home today" Tara whispered

"He keeps hitting me every time I suggest it"

"You're a hitter, don't you hit back?"

"No, he's too weak, too hurt already"

"Just try to get him home for one night so he can get some decent sleep" Tara turned around and started to leave

"No, wait, just watch" Eliot said and gestured her to come back. He cautiously walked over to Nate and put a hand on his shoulder. "Nate I think you should go home maybe get some-"

He was cut off by a hard punch to the stomach. Nate was about to push him away when Tara yelled at him, "HEY! What the hell was that?"

Nate just looked at Tara, his face cold.

"Answer me!" Tara demanded

"He wants me to go home" Nate growled through clenched teeth

"Yeah and maybe he's got a point. Sophie wouldn't want you hurting your friends. She wouldn't want you slowly killing yourself. Did you ever think that? Did you ever think about it from her perspective!" Tara yelled at him so loud that it was enough for Eliot to stare at her in surprise.

Nate swallowed hard and slowly made his way to door. "Can someone drive me?"

"I'll do it" Eliot replied gruffly

"Hey Eliot do you think you could make me some food? I'm goin' up to take a shower" Nate asked as they were walking into his new apartment

"Sure man" Eliot said as he walked into the kitchen. Nate nodded and slowly made his way up the stairs. His room was stilled filled with boxes from moving. He grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt and made his way into the bathroom. The hot water relaxed his tense muscles and he could feel the dirt and sweat washing off his body. He sighed as he imagined Sophie being there with him. After what was probably a half hour he turned the water off and got out of the shower. The haze that had been filling his mind was starting to thin. He walked downstairs and saw Eliot just finishing putting food on a plate.

"You feelin' better?" He asked

"Much. Some food and sleep will do me good too" Nate said as he pushed the boxes around on the table so he had room to eat.

"Well I'm gonna head out unless you need me around"

"No I think I'm good by myself, thanks though" Nate didn't bother to look at Eliot but stared blankly at one of the boxes. Eliot quirked his eyebrow up in confusion when he saw Nates eyes slightly wide and dazed. He'll be fine soon enough.

Hopefully.

Nate was exhausted by the time he finished eating. He almost drifted off in the chair but quickly snapped himself to attention and trudged upstairs. Sleep overtook him before his head even hit the pillow.

-In the dream-

I'm back in that accursed hospital. Sophie is lifeless by my side and the darkness of the night is casting eerie shadows over her pale body. My fingers are so close to reach out and touch her but my wrists are chained to the chair. Suddenly the scene changes and I'm sitting on the curb of a street. Cars whoosh past me, blowing dirt and dust in my face. I see a group of sad looking girls start walking towards me and I try to get up. I'm chained. The girls walk into the street and the cars drive right through them. I'm scared now and I don't know why. They're just little girls,

right? So these girls sit in front of me and just stare at me.

"Hello?"

No answer

"Hello?"

Again no answer

"Are you okay?"

The oldest girl shakes her head no

"What's wrong?"

The youngest one shrugs

"Can you speak?"

The all shake their heads no

"Why are you here?"

They don't say anything

"Do you need something from me?"

The girls exchanged a worried look

"Is Sophie going to be okay?"

The eldest makes a face that says 'Eh she may or may not be, I dunno'

"You're no help"

The girls frown and slowly disappear.

-End of dream-

Nate jolted awake and his whole body went stiff before he let out a deep breath and his body relaxed. The things he would do to have the warm comfort of Sophie next to him. Instead he had to deal with his pain in a different way. It was a way he had learned when his dad died. Nobody knew about it and he wanted to keep it that way. Slowly he started making his way downstairs and then into one of the side rooms where a piano resided. People would laugh at him if they knew he could play. And sing. His fingers drummed down on each key slowly but firmly. Then the lower moving part came in. That's when he started to sing...

"It's been four days

There's a vacancy next to me

It won't let me sleep

So I stay next to you

Your lifeless body holds no grace

Death is slowly taking it away

If I pray hard enough

Hoping for your life

But reality will soon pull me right

And I will scream and you will cry

And on that night

We will both die

Fade to gray

Fade to black

The doctors say its critical and that is that

Come see what I've done

Come see what I've become

Maybe I'll make it out alive

Maybe I won't

Either way

You won't be alone

A poisoned coma

It's the same

A cruel twisted

Killer charade

They'll rip your soul out first

And then take mine

Either way

We will both die

Come see me for what I've done

Come see what I've become

Maybe we'll live through this

But one cannot die while the other survives

It's about time that you find

A world of burning time

The long lifespan

You thought you had

The paper scroll is burning

In my hands

I see our future melt

And I'll I can do is cry

As the ashes of a happy life

Are no longer true

Your worlds collapsing around you

Like the lies of a burning roof

It burns your skin

And breaks you more

But the mighty lord

Is coming from above

To take you for a long penance

And teach you how to love

But you didn't know

You were just a kid

Your history is tearing at your soul

A souless coma

Pulling us in its hole

Maybe I'll make it out alive

Maybe I won't

Either way

You won't be alone

Come see me for what I've done

Come see what I've become

Maybe I'll make it out alive

Maybe I won't

Either way

You won't be alone

Fade to gray

Fade to black

That fire did kill

And this is not a drill"

Nate sighed and let his finger stay rested on the last note as it slowly faded out.

"Would you really kill yourself if Sophie died?" The soft and sad voice of the Thief came from behind him.

Nate jumped in surprise. He hadn't even heard her. "Parker! What the hell?"

Parker's face was sad. "Are you really gonna kill yourself?"

Nate was about to lie when he decided it would do him no good. He could feel the tears swelling up in his eyes and he could tell they were red-rimmed. "I-I thought about it...and am still kind of thinking about it"

Parker felt the tears starting to roll down her face. "No! You can't kill yourself! You're like my dad to me and I couldn't stand to lose my mom and my dad."

Nates jaw hung open as he tried to search for the right words.

"We'll be able to make it through this!" Parker was now trying to keep up with wiping the tears from her face

"Parker I-" Nate started

"I HATE this city!" Parker yelled in frustration

"Parker!" He said more urgently

"Why'd we have to move here it's done nothing but trouble!"

"Parker listen to me!" Nate yelled in the tone that made you sink down in your chair. "This song. This piano. Whatever. I started doing this when my dad died. It kept me from drinking myself to death, which I know I would have."

"But you were still drinking" Parker's voice was distant

"It was to throw you guys off. I didn't really need to be drinking that much. Anyway the song that I sang when after my dad died went along the lines of revenge and pain. This one, as said in the lyrics, is about fading to gray. How Sophie's lifespan is slowly ebbing away and it's burning in my hands. I don't know if you heard the beginning but it's about me being by her side but reality will soon pull me back. It's just...stuff that I'm thinking about"

"It was a sad song," was all Parker could manage

"Well I'm going to go back to bed" Nate said as he started walking to the door. His feet scuffed across the ground and his shoulders were slumped

"Do you need a hug?" Parker asked suddenly

"No, I'm fine Parker" Nate said with a strained voice and he walked out of the room back into the main living area. Suddenly Parker gave him a big hug and he stumbled backwards in surprise.

"Please don't commit suicide" Parker whispered. Nate hugged her back since Parker was right, he did need a hug.

"I'll be alright" Nate whispered back. Parker pulled away and looked at him with a sad smile, the tears still running down her face.

"Thanks dad"

"Well isn't this adorable! Such a father daughter moment" A cool slick voice came from the doorway. Nate and Parker turned to see a man with short white hair and blue eyes leaning against the doorframe. In his hand he held a file and Nate knew this wouldn't end well.

A/N: Teehee! *Mysteriously* reviewssssss