Chapter 5

A/N: Hello! Sorry for such the long wait, I had a dance camp, so I couldn't get on for very long, and then school started. Aaaaaanyway… this is the chapter where I kidnap Zia! Oh, how lovely! And the real name of this chapter is Zia and the Incredibly Embarrassing Incident.

Sadie: Winnebago funky chicken, Jamaican banana man!

Ginger: toilet chocolate got nothing on chipmunks. I think Sadie is looking forward to Zia's kidnapping. I'm pleased to say that I'll also be introducing Ro, my OC come to life.

Ro: hello! I have an account! Come check it out! My penname is I'mRoIExist!

Ginger: yeah yeah yeah. Now, onward with the story!

Ro: wait! You've forgotten to do a disclaimer all these times, so I'll do it for you! Gingerroot15 does not own the Kane Chronicles. She does not own me either.

Ginger: I do too! I made you!

Ro: yeah, suuuuuuuure. Anyway, on to the story!

Ginger: that's my line. I'm going to give you the chapter now! Remember: OOCness. My POV. Please review!

Zia opened her eyes sleepily. "C… Carter?"

I smiled and shook my head no. "You're not at the Brooklyn House, Zia. Or Egypt for that matter. You're at my house!"

A jolt ran through her body. She drew her wand and staff at me. "Who are you, and where is your house?"

I drew my own wand and staff and knocked hers aside. "I'm Emily, self-trained magician and demigod. My house is in the United States, and that's all you need to know."

Zia glared at me and picked up her staff and wand again. "Do not threaten me again," I warned. "Follow me."

I took her downstairs and started to boot up my computer.

She glanced around and said, "Why are we here? What are you going on?"

By that time I had logged onto Fanfiction. "You'll see in just a moment." I also brought up a Word document with my prerecorded questions. She took a look at those, but I slapped her face away. She rubbed her (probably) stinging cheek and asked, "What in the name of Ma'at are those?"

I glared at her. "Stop asking questions," I said pointedly. I brought Fanfiction back up and brought up one of I'mDifferent-get-over-it's stories about Zarter. "First question: what do you think about this, and how people write about you and Carter?"

After seven minutes of reading she answered, "It sickens me! Me and Carter are free to do whatever we want!"

I shrugged and typed her response, something I was much quicker at doing then I was at writing. Hwevr, I ws pron too mistaks mor esily.

"Question two: do you know what kind of magician I am, and are you wondering?"

"No, of course I don't!" Zia burst out angrily. "I just met you five minutes ago! And yes," she admitted. "I'm slightly curious. But just so I know what kind of magic will defeat you," she warned.

"I'm a water elementalist. But I might be turning into an animal charmer, or a diviner." I admitted. It was a secret I had told few people… gah! What was I doing, putting it on here? Oh well.

She nodded. "So fire, shabti, and combat are best." She muttered absentmindedly.

Of course, I wasn't going to tell her I had heard that, and that no, my weaknesses were necromancy and sau magic.

"Question three: if I told you that I've already interviewed Sadie, Set, Carter, and Anubis, what would you do?"

"Slap you, probably choke you a little bit, and bring you back to the Brooklyn House for judgment." Zia said with satisfaction.

I shivered. Don't ever let me tell her I have.

I quickly typed her answer. "Four: if I let you read one of my stories- specifically a Jalt to Jarter songfic story… would you do it?"

"What are Jalt and Jarter?"

"Jalt is Jaz and Walt. Jarter is Jaz and Carter."

Zia's eyes widened. "Gah! Jarter sounds terrible. But I would read it."

Ten minutes later…

Zia shivered. "It was good. Almost eerie how you described us so well, but all the same, still good. Never write something like that again." She scolded.

"Yes, mum." I replied, using something from Song of the Lioness, specifically from the Immortals.

"Don't do that either."

"Do what, mum?" I asked teasingly.

Zia drew her wand and staff again. I snapped my fingers and they disappeared into the Duat. "Ah ah ah. That's a no-no, Zia. My turf, my rules."

"I didn't want to be here in the first place!" Zia burst out angrily.

I smiled. "Too bad. Question five: everyone is convinced that Mojo here…" I pointed to Mojo, who was being petted by me. "Is possessed by Bast. Is she?"

Zia took a moment to look at Mojo. She looked back up at me and shook her head no. "As far as I can tell, no. You should ask an animal charmer to be sure, though."

I nodded and typed her answer to both questions. "Six: I'm going to get my brother down here. You have to watch him for as long as I tell you… which may be as long as five minutes… but afterwards I'll send him away. He gets to do whatever he wants. What do you think of him, after he's done?"

Zia shrugged. "Bring him down and I'll tell you."

"JIMMY!" I shouted upstairs. "GET YOUR SORRY BUTT DOWN HERE!"

Jimmy came running down. "What do you want?"

"Do whatever you want to Zia."

He grinned. "Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot." He chanted. "The more you toot, the better you feel, so eat your beans at every meal!"

Zia facepalmed.

"Oh Tim the toad, oh Tim the toad, why are you lying in the road?" Jimmy started to sing, to the tune of 'Oh Christmas Tree'. "You used to beeeeee so green and fat, but now you aaaaare all black and flat. Oh Time the toad, oh Tim the toad, why are you lying in the road?"

She now put her head in her hands.

"Okay Jimmy, that's enough. GO BACK UPSTAIRS!"

He put his hands on his hips and walked away. "I'm only leaving because I want to." He smirked.

"Just GO!"

Zia said, "Well, that was absolutely embarrassing."

I typed her answer.

"Last question: have you ever heard Rihanna?" I asked carefully.

Zia looked confused. "What is 'Rihanna'?"

I shook my head no. "When you get home, go on to Youtube and search Rihanna."

"What is 'Youtube'?"

I facepalmed. "Just go home." I opened a glowing purple portal and she stepped through.