A/N: HAH! I'M FINALLY UPDATING!
Meh. I don't own KC. AND I'M INTRODUCING RO! I'VE REVERTED TO SIMPLY TORTURING PEOPLE, BECAUSE IT'S FUN!
OOCNESS! HUMOR! FLYING BANANAS!
I slowly turned the light dial on. My brother played his bass, doing the Jaws theme. Duh-duh. Duh-duh. Duh-duh, duh-duh, duh-duh, duh-duh. Duh-duh duh-duh duh-duh duh-duh, duuuuuh… duh.
Walt cringed. "Who are you?" He whimpered.
Ro said eerily, "Your worst nightmare." I suddenly put the light on full blast, blinding Walt.
I must have looked like an angel; Jimmy was dressed in a Grim Reaper costume, while Ro was invisible, thanks to a spell I had put on her.
Actually, I was dressed in an angel costume. So I legitimately did look like an angel.
Walt, terrified, glanced around frantically. "I'm serious. Who are you?"
I smiled a beautiful smile, hoping to calm him down. I shouldn't have let Ro join me in this. I made a mental note to myself to send her to the library when I kidnapped someone next. "My name is Emily," I said kindly.
"Oh. Hi, Emily." Walt said nervously. He looked around, probably for some way to escape.
"Walt?" I said. "I want you to know: I've already magically locked all the exits. And drained your magic."
His face paled. "You… you drained my magic?"
I nodded, but now I felt guilty. "It'll come back after I let you go," I promised. I unconsciously fingered the key to his magic: a favorite bobby pin of mine.
"Okay. Good." He wiped sweat off his face.
I grinned. "Okay. Time to torture you. Ever heard of Wanubis?"
"No… what is it?" He replied warily.
"It's a pairing. Of you and Anubis."
Walt fainted at this.
I grabbed a bottle of vanilla coconut hand lotion. "Never thought that Walt was a pansy." I waved the bottle under his nose.
"S… Sadie?" He groaned.
Offended, I slapped him. "WHY DOES EVERYONE CONFUSE ME WITH SADIE? I AM NOT THAT BRAT!"
Walt shot straight up. "Good gods! I'm sorry! Don't slap me again! Take Mr. Fluffles instead!" He held out a battered rabbit stuffed animal.
Remembering a conversation from a week ago, I said, "… Mr. Fluffles. Sadie's stuffed animal bunny. You have that how, exactly?"
"Eh… the Internet?" he tried sheepishly.
I narrowed my eyes. "You're a smart aleck." So I froze him.
Ro slowly revealed herself, her short blonde hair shimmering in the bright light. "Well, hello, Walt." She smiled.
Walt whipped around and spotted Ro. His face paled for the second time that day. "Ro? Wha… what are you doing here?"
I gaped at Ro, completely confused. How did Walt know my OC?
Ro waved me off, talking to Walt. "I live here."
"Whoa. Hold on just a minute." I interrupted. "How do you two know each other?"
Ro grinned. "He emailed me after he read my story."
"Uh… um… uh…" That, for the first time in a long time, left me speechless. I regained my composure and said, "Walt, you… have an account?"
"No," he replied. "I used an anonymous review. DyingMagician was the name."
"I… uh…"
Ro intervened. "Look. Emily, why don't you go and type up what you've got, and I'll talk with Walt."
That sobered me up. "Nuh-uh. This is my kidnapping. Ro, get going or feel the power of the Animalia kingdom."
Ro ran out of the house, probably to visit her best friend, Lia.
"Okay, Walt." I smiled, rubbing my hands together. "How would you feel if I… put on some music?"
Walt smiled a huge smile. "Oh, I love music!"
Good gods. Walt was a tomgirl. I grabbed my iPod from the shelf and plugged it in. Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day blasted out. Of course, it was the instrumental version, played by my school's eighth grade orchestra. The lyrics were… not the best. Plus, I liked the orchestra's version a lot better.
To my great surprise, Walt fainted. Again.
"Seriously?" I muttered. "Green Day makes him faint? Complete pansy." I grabbed a bottle of 'Fresh Rain' bath salts that I would use as smelling salts. I waved them under his nose.
"Jaz?" he muttered. "Is that you?"
I put my hands on my hips. "My gods. People think I'm a Kane Chronicles character." With that I slapped him.
Walt rubbed his most-likely-stinging cheek. "Ow. My gods." He said in a whiny voice. "What the Horus was that for?"
I glared. "You confused me with first Sadie, now Jaz. I AM NOT A CHARACTER, ALL RIGHT? I AM MY OWN PERSON!"
Walt, creeped out, slowly backed away. "Easy, Emily, easy. Calm down."
"NO." I growled. "I WILL NOT CALM DOWN. I AM SO FREAKING SICK AND TIRED OF BEING CONFUSED WITH SADIE, OR JAZ, OR A MURDERER."
Walt uneasily shifted his weight. "You just have a lot of stuff that Sadie and Jaz use," he tried.
"I. DO NOT. CARE." I brought out my wand and staff and let my anger out. Where Walt had previously been standing, there was now a kitten. I picked it up and stroked it; it was a dark brown tabby, with blue eyes. It let out a soft cry, telling me that it wanted milk pronto. "Sorry, Walt. You're going to be a human again." I muttered a spell, and Walt sitting in my lap instead of the kitten. I jumped up, shaking him off.
"Never, ever, ever do that again." I hissed.
"Do what?" Walt cried, outraged.
"Sit in my lap. Now, get out of my house."
Walt happily left.
I realized something with a sigh. "I barely even tortured him."
I ran downstairs and booted up the ol' computer as fast as possible. I whistled a random tune I made up on the spot, then added words. "Oh, I might be crazy, I might be insane, but I know one thing for sure… we've all gone mad."
