I paced around the room, trying to keep myself warm. Finally, I gave in and shivered. "Brrr." Felix's dorm was freezing! I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around myself, wand and staff at ready.

I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up to a penguin slapping me. "Gah!" I jumped up.

Felix, a full foot and a half shorter than me, glared with such intensity I was surprised he didn't drill a hole in my head. "What are you-"

He was cut off as I whacked him with the head of my staff. He crumpled to the ground, unconscious. No sense in using magic if I don't have to. I opened a portal, grabbed Felix, shoved him through, and stepped through myself.

We arrived in my room, and I rifled through my drawer until I found what I wanted. I grinned, uncorked a small vial, and waved it under Felix's nose. He shot right up. "Yuck! Gross! What the heck was that?"

"Calm down," I ordered. "I've got something to make it better." I grabbed another larger vial and a dropper. "Open your mouth." He hesitated before opening it. I placed three drops of the mixture on his tongue; I could visibly see him relaxing.

"What were those?" he asked serenely.

"The first one is a pick-me-up, and it works better than coffee. The second one is a brew of my own; it relaxes you and counters the pick-me-up."

Felix shrugged. "Whatever." Suddenly, he was on edge again. "Where am I?"

How to answer? "Somewhere in the U.S. of A. My name is Emily."

"I want back at the Brooklyn House," Felix whined.

That snapped me. I was so sick and tired of Ro's wants, Jimmy's questions, my friends' completely ignoring me. "Well, that's too gosh darn bad, now isn't it? You're stuck here with me until I decide to let you go." I spat angrily.

Felix's lower lip quivered, and I immediately hugged him, feeling immensely guilty. This just creeped him out more, and he pushed me away,

"Can I at least have some food?" Felix asked quietly.

I tried to smile. "Of course. What would you like?"

"Fruit."

"… Fruit?" I repeated. "What kind of fruit?"

Felix shook his head no. "No, no, not fruit, Fruit."

There was no sound difference between the two, but I decided to play along with it. "Okay, Felix. Fruit it is."

When I walked into the kitchen, a fruit I had never seen before sat on the counter. I furrowed my eyebrows and gave it to Felix.

"You have to cut it," he told me. I got the feeling he was doing this to make my life miserable.

I sighed and took out a cutting board. I grabbed a large knife and started sawing away.

The sharp, pointy utensil didn't make a dent in the thing.

I frowned and tried again; this time, the knife slipped and cut me instead. "Fudge," I hissed, and Felix said, "Try using magic." I sighed and envisioned a cut-up Fruit.

When I looked down, I was shocked and angry. Yes, it worked, but… "Really? REALLY? ALL THAT FOR ONE STINKING SLICE?"

Felix ate it in one bite. "Yum."

That's when the inhabitants of the Brooklyn House (plus Set) appeared in the hall of my house. "Whoa!" I shouted. "How'd you get here?"

"Penguins," Carter said, as if that explained everything.

Sadie glared daggers at me. "You tortured us. You kidnapped us."

I grinned. "It was fun."

She ha-died me.

I spent three days as a ba; the Duat didn't have internet, so I had my necromancer friend Lia bring me back, while Ari, Ro's little sister, had healed my body.

"Ha-hah, not dead." I smirked triumphantly at the computer. And I wrote the account of my story.

THE END

(Yaaaaaaaaay)

A/N: I bet you're wondering why I put it down here. :3 I just did, okay? I don't own KC.

Now, I have good news and… um, other news. The other news is: this is the last chapter. No more We Have Gone Mad. Sorry.

However, the good news? I'm making a Percy Jackson version of this. It'll be called… Huh? I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED!

It'll be told from my POV, as this was, and I may recruit Jimmy and some of my PJO OCs to help me. :D See you all soon, I hope!

-Ginger out, peace y'alls