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The poignant Prentiss
When you´re raised by someone who doesn´t show affection or shares their feelings with the people around them (not close to them, because they don´t let anyone near them, not even their family) you learn to hide your emotion and start thinking that opening up to anyone is wrong, weak and inappropriate. It teaches you to keep your thoughts concealed. Maybe that´s why she there are some things she doesn´t want to admit, not even to the team.
It was even harder for her to leave the team then she thought it would be. And it was much harder to go back then she had expected.
She truly loved Declan and she wanted nothing more than to give him a good, happy, save life.
She also loved Doyle, in a way. Not like Lauren did, not romantically, but she cared for him. Despite the fact that she despised and feared him. No matter how much she hated him then there was still a small part of her that cared about him and when he died she was sad. It was a relieve knowing he would harm her again and that Declan was save and that no one would died because of him again, but she still couldn´t bring herself to not feel anything for him when he died. And that sickens her.
No matter how hard she wishes to not care about her parents, then she can´t stop wanting them to love her. It infuriates her that people that she resents have so much control over her and that she want the love of someone that treat her like she is meaningless.
She tries hard to hide her geekiness, but sometimes, being around Reid does it hard for her. There are just too many temptations.
What Cyrus did to her effected her more than she let on to. But she didn´t want to show it because of Reid. She feared he might blame himself if he knew how freaked out she was.
She envies JJ for having a nice man and a healthy child. It really disappointed her when she found out that Carrie wasn´t going to stay with her. Taking care of her probably wouldn´t be such a good idea since her job didn't give her enough time to bond with a teenager, especially one who had been through as much as Carrie, but still. The idea of a child was tempting. Hopefully Carrie was doing all right.
She missed her team while she was in France. She missed Morgan, the loyal, but annoying big brother who looked out after everyone, the sweet and weird Reid, the geeky little brother she never had, the wonderful, loving, optimistic Garcia with her strange way of talking and her incredible talent of brightening up their day, Hotch who always cared for the team and who had the strength, morals and compassion of a true hero, JJ with her friendly attitude and great sense of humor and Rossi with all his wisdom, smart comments and his calm persona that nothing seemed to be able to shake. She missed them all so much. Being apart from them, having to constantly be hiding, pretending to be someone she wasn´t, every waking moment, it drove her insane. One time she saw a street performer doing magic trick, and she almost started crying when she started thinking of Reid´s physics magic.
It was hard travelling around so much when she was a kid, constantly moving, always having to say goodbye. And the horrors she saw. Now she wonders how her parent could just have let her go through all that.
The abortion was one of the most painful decisions she made in her live. Sometimes she wonders what it would have been like if she had kept the baby. She tries not to think about it, but she can´t help it. After all, it was her baby.
