Chapter 5
You Like to Play Games
Ellen does something that is either really stupid or completely inspired: she pregames. Just one shot, but since she hasn't eaten anything yet, it will have its effect. The thing is, she is really nervous. Ellen has always, always found Patty attractive and if she could let herself think that they are on the brink of taking their relationship to a new level… well, it would be exciting. Scary and exciting. But sober Ellen can't trust Patty not to have a hidden agenda. Sober Ellen would overanalyze every word Patty said and would have a miserable time. So buzzed Ellen will be going on the date, and buzzed Ellen will either have a rollicking good time or make an idiot of herself.
It is Friday night, and Ellen hasn't seen Patty since Sunday. Patty is sending a car for Ellen, which will take her to Patty's apartment downtown so that Catherine can see for herself that her grandmother really and truly does have a date.
Ellen thought long and hard about what to wear. She doesn't know what this date is, so she doesn't want to look like she put in too much extra effort. On the other hand, she sure as Hell wants to look good. She's decided to keep it simple. She is wearing a short, strapless black dress that is a staple in her closet and silver jewelry. Her hair is pulled back with a few invisible pins.
She is bringing Patty a box of chocolates – something she thinks Catherine will also appreciate.
Her phone rings, and her apartment's receptionist tells her that the car is here. Ellen glances at herself in the mirror one last time.
"Here goes nothing," she says, consciously mimicking what Catherine said to her the week before.
Patty answers the door and favors Ellen with a beaming smile.
"Hello, Ellen," she says. "You look beautiful."
Patty sounds the way she used to when showing exaggerated civility in front of the media, but there is no one else here, so the charm is just for Ellen. For some reason, this makes Ellen blush.
"Thank you Patty. You look nice too." This is an understatement, but it's all Ellen can manage right now. Patty looks dazzling in a form-fitting brown dress trimmed with brown lace.
Ellen hands her the box of chocolates, and Patty checks the label. "Oh, good, nuts," she says. "Thank you." Then she says, "Catherine's looking forward to seeing you. Catherine!" she calls up the stairs.
Catherine comes clomping down. She is followed by a tall girl who looks about 22 years old.
"Jayna this is Ellen," Patty says. "Ellen this is Jayna, Catherine's baby-sitter."
"Hi, Jayna. Hi, Catherine." Ellen says.
"Good to meet you," Jayna says.
Catherine says, "Hi, Ellen. You look pretty."
She seems shy around Ellen now, very different from how she was a week ago. Ellen wonders if she is thinking about the lies she told.
"Thanks," Ellen says. "So is the homework strike over?"
Catherine nods. "I'll go get my math book."
"Don't study too hard," Ellen risks, even though Patty is right there listening. "It's Friday night."
Ellen glances at Patty out of the corner of her eye and is glad to see that Patty is unperturbed. Actually, she looks pleased as punch. Ellen can't remember seeing her so happy, except possibly when celebrating the settlement in the Frobisher case. That seems like a lifetime ago.
They are seated in a very private corner of a small French restaurant. It is quiet and dim, and Patty's eyes gleam in the candlelight as she smiles at Ellen over a glass of wine and opens the conversation.
"So tell me something about you that I don't know yet," Patty says.
"Is there anything?" Ellen says. "We've established you keep tabs on my love life."
Patty pretends to bristle. "I don't 'keep tabs.' I keep my ears open. There's a difference."
"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that." Ellen sneers a little. Alcohol has made her brave.
"Why are you being so antagonistic?" Patty says. There's a slight edge to her voice for the first time this evening.
"Because I don't know what this is!"
"It's a date."
"Right. Suddenly, out of the blue, after we don't see each other for nine years, a date."
"Why did you come if that's the way you feel?"
Ellen thinks for a minute. "I want to be here, Patty, I do," she says finally, speaking much more softly than before. "It's just that… you like to play games. And I don't know if this is part of a game, or…"
Patty looks her straight in the eyes and says, "I'm not playing a game with you tonight, Ellen. I promise. I've wanted to do this for a very long time."
Ellen's curiosity is peaked. "Really? How long?"
"I don't know," Patty says.
"When I still worked for you?" Ellen prods.
"I always thought you were a very beautiful girl," Patty says. "When I first met you I thought that."
"But you weren't interested in me romantically, then, were you? You weren't planning this date while you were assigning me to do research and write briefs?"
Patty frowns. "I don't know," she says again.
Ellen lets it go, because she thinks she's just understood something about Patty for the first time. Patty isn't being coy. She really doesn't know. Patty's actions and their motives – seemingly all part of a master plan – are sometimes a mystery to Patty herself .
Thinking about this date as part of a master plan makes Ellen laugh.
She says, "You know something? I still don't know who is the mastermind behind this evening – you or Catherine."
"Catherine didn't make the reservation," Patty says. "However, she did choose the dress."
"Seriously?" Ellen giggles a little long, and Patty glances at the level of the wine in her glass.
"You started drinking before you left," Patty realizes. "Didn't you?" She doesn't sound annoyed, just surprised.
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"I was nervous, Patty," Ellen confesses.
Patty grins seductively. "Am I so intimidating?" Her voice is low.
"Yes!" Ellen practically shrieks. It is somehow a huge relief to say this. Ellen feels like she has been faking confidence (with varying degrees of success) since the day she met Patty. It makes a nice change simply to admit to being uneasy.
And Patty doesn't look displeased. On the contrary, she is almost preening. Which is infuriating and funny and sexy all at the same time.
Patty thinks the evening has been just about perfect. She is even glad that Ellen voiced some of her concerns. Somehow having Ellen back in her world has righted it. She smiles at the girl as they sit next to each other in the car on the way to Ellen's apartment and impulsively reaches for her hand. Ellen gives her a shy smile and squeezes Patty's hand back. They hold hands for forty blocks.
The car pulls up to Ellen's apartment building and the driver opens the door for Ellen, who turns to Patty.
"Do you want to come up for a cup of coffee or something?" she offers.
Patty shakes her head. "Jayna is expecting me in fifteen minutes, but I can walk you to your door."
In front of Ellen's door, Patty hesitates for the first time all evening. It's not a lack of confidence. It's just that she wants to do this right. She looks at Ellen's white throat, her soft hair, her sparkling eyes. And she says very quietly and with emphasis, "May I kiss you?"
And Ellen whispers, "Yes," and leans in.
