The Magnificent Seven
Dean: What's in the box?
Lucifer: Aw, easy there, Anger!
Anger: RAWWWWRRRRR!
Lucifer: Oh God, he's in here again. What a bunch of sins I have working for me. I suppose it's the wages.
Lucifer: Easy there, Lust. You've got an appointment down at the foreign office. You saw the husband, it was Sloth.
Sloth: Mumble.
Lust: Easy!
Lucifer: How about Avarice and Gluttony, two lovely girls?
Avarice: ...I don't even remember being in this episode!
Gluttony: ...And actually I'm a guy.
Pride: Did you honestly think that something like that would work on somebody like me? I mean, me?
Lucifer: And how envious I am of... Envy.
Envy: We're not Sins, man, we're natural human instincts!
Tamara: (Shoots him)
Bobby: How about the man?
Tamara Drewe: He didn't make it.
Bobby: Uh, Tamara. It's a dangerous world out there now, thanks to me. Demons in human form. Forgone their own shapes. Anyone could be a demon.
Tamara: (Alarmingly cheerful) OK!
The Kids Are Alright
Changeling: I'm packing up a sucker punch; not going down without a fight!
Dean: ...But who says I ain't?
Changeling: WTF BOOM!
Lisa: Uh... Dean...
Ben: Led Zep rules!
Dean: Uh... is he my kid? Just cos he's eight?
Lisa: FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE.
Bad Day at Black Rock
Dean: Guess it sounds like a horror movie, but this is actually the funniest episode yet.
Bella: Guess your rabbit's foot isn't working yet.
Sam: (Falls over)
Sam: (Falls on his stumma)
Sam: (Loses his shoe)
Sam: (Is struck by electricity)
Dean: ...You OK Sammy?
Sam: It's Sam.
(Burn rabbit's foot)
Dean: That was almost too easy.
Bella: (Shoots Sam)
Sin City
Dean: Town full of drunk girls. Vice and sex abound. Love it. Nothing wrong with this place, even though old Father Gil is flirting with a girl ten years youngah.
Father Gil: The Lord brings me here.
Dean: O...K.
Sam: Look, I know there's demons here.
Dean: Fuck off.
Casey: Your brother's right, bitch.
Dean: Uh fuck... (shoots her)
Father Gil: FUCK!
Dean: You're a demon too?
Father Gil: How else do you explain black eyes, bitch?
Dean: (shoots him)
Bedtime Stories
Boyfriend: Rawr, even though we're tired and hungry and lost, let's go and visit this creepy old house inhabited by an even creepier old lady!
Girlfriend: Uh... no.
Boyfriend: Come on, she invited us in!
(Boyfriend gets stabbed to death by old lady)
(In hospital)
Girlfriend: I was being stabbed multiple times, and even though I was in terrible pain and having my stomach carved open and even though I had just eaten, even though I was having my stomach carved open all I could think of was this little girl standing in the doorway and what the fuck she was doing there. Even though I was in terrible, terrible pain, that was all I noticed for some reason.
Dean: It's a ghost.
Sam: That explains it.
Red Sky at Morning
Bella: Red Sky at Morning... a sailor's warning.
Sailor's ghost: Red Sky at Night... a ghost's delight!
Fresh Blood
Gordon Walker: Whaddya know, I'm escaped from prison, even though you never saw no such thing! Vampire bastards, come and get me!
(Is kidnapped)
Gordon: You killed my sis, even though I don't even know you.
Vampire: You're famous among our kind, Gordon Walker. Gordon Walker vampire hunter, become Gordon Walker, vampire!
Gordon: FUCK! Aw, I suddenly want blood!
Sam: (decapitates Gordon)
Sam: That worked out nice, don't you think. He could never kill me straight, me being the hero. All he did was talk.
A Very Supernatural Christmas
Jack Skellington: What's this? What's this? There's frost everywhere what's this? There's children throwing snowballs, instead of throwing heads, they're busy building toys, and absolutely no-one's dead!
Sam: I hate Christmas. Even though it's your last Christmas on Earth, I want to make you pissed.
Dean: It's working.
Malleus Malfericum
Dean: Girl got killed.
Sam: It's a witch.
Dean: I hate witches!
Sam: Ding dong, the witch is dead!
Tammi the demon: I guess Ruby never told you... she sold her soul to me.
Dean: So does that mean... all demons were once human?
Ruby: For some absurd reason, yes.
Dean: They killed fallen angels! The bastards!
Dream a Little Dream of Me
Dean: No, not the song from Glee, but the Supernatural eppy.
Maid: Sir... wake up.
Bobby: (sleeps)
Maid: HOLY FUCK I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY THIS MAN WILL NOT WAKE UP EVEN THOUGH HE COULD'VE JUST BEEN OVERSLEEPING! FUCK!
Bobby: (sleeps)
Dean: I guess we enter his dream then.
Sam: As we're about to drink something what looks like coffee, and we added something of Bobby's hair into it... isn't this like the scene from Chamber of Secrets?
(In dream)
Dean: Bobby! You're dreaming! Snap out of it!
Bobby: What? This isn't real?
Dean: NO!
Bobby: (points at dead wife) Does... that look real?
Dean: No.
(pointless half hour later)
Dean: I don't get it... are you me?
Evil Dean: You are... good Dean. Whereas I am Evil Dean!
Dean: (wakes)
Mystery Spot
Dean: Wakey wakey Sam!
Sam: I had this dream a hundred times, and you die.
Dean: Whaaaa? (Is run over)
Dean: (Is hit by a bus)
Dean: (Is hit by a piano)
Dean: (Is decapited)
Dean: (Is electrocuted)
Dean: (Chokes on sausage)
Sam: For some reason it's the Trickster!
Gabriel: That it is.
Jus in Bello
Dean: Fuck.
Sam: Demons.
Victor Henrikksen: Attacking.
Nancy: Station.
Ruby: Sacrifice the virgin, bitches!
Sam: NO. Nobody's killing any virgins!
Victor and Nancy: (killed by Lilith)
Ruby: ...Now see where your plan led to.
Ghostfacers
Sam: Who you gonna call?
Ed: Somebody else!
Harry: ...What a pair of dicks.
Ed: They erased our footage!
Both: FUCK!
Dean: The world just wasn't ready.
Sam: Yep. It sucked.
Long Distance Call
Crocotta: Come to me come to me come to me come to me come to me come to me come to me
(The Grudge moment)
Sam: (kills Crocotta)
Sam: And I did this all without Dean's help.
Time is on My Side
Doctor Benton: LIFE! GIVE MY BODY... LIFE!
Dean: Actually, you're not immortal, you're just cutting bits from people.
Sam: That is sick.
Bella: Gimme the Colt!
Dean: You had it.
Bella: I killed my parents thanks to a demon.
Dean: You bitch...
Bella: (is dragged to Hell)
No Rest for the Wicked
Lilith: Actually, there is.
Dean: Thirty hours left. Let's hunt a demon. What do demons do for fun?
Lilith: We possess little girls.
Dean: You pervert. Your face is awful.
Lilith: My evil family acted uncomfortably around me so I killed them. That's the way our American cinema works.
Dean: (Acts uncomfortably)
Lilith: (kills him)
Sam: YOU BITCH! (Exorcizes her)
Ruby: WTF BOOM? (Collapses dead)
Sam: Brother, can you spare two dimes? (When I should be like Waaaaaaaaaa waaaaa my brother's dead waaaaaaaa)
Dean: Sorry brother, can't hear you. I is chillin' in Hell.
