I sat on the deck of the Resisty ship, looking out into the blackness that was the main window. Stars don't look too much different when you're sailing amongst them… It makes me feel… nostalgic in a way. Don't get me wrong, I made the conscious decision to come here with Lard Nar and help them. And I don't miss being at home much… I mean, I was ridiculed down there to a point that I wasn't sure if Zim did exist… but I feel so small here.
Like… When I was little, dad brought Gaz and I to a dinner party. I didn't know what to expect or what to wear or anything! Dad stayed in his lab coat, of course, and Gaz and I just decided to go as we were. When we actually got there, everyone was dressed like they had just won the lottery. I mean, dad's important and no one pointed out that his children should have been dressed better, but I still felt out of place… like everyone was somehow better than me and I could never even begin to understand what it must be like to live in their world.
It's the same feeling here. I can travel around with the Resisty, fight the Irkens… hell! Maybe we'll actually manage do destroy them! But in the end… I'm still just a human. My life expectancy is like… 65 years, 80, max. And after 40 years old, will I even be of any use to them?
Lard Nar is already over 200 years old. Translated to human years, that's about… 23.
…
200.
23.
It blows my mind, trying to think of how long he'll live. I want to stay here with him… Even after we defeat the Irkens and free his planet. I just want to stay…
I sigh and pull my knees up to my chin. Everyone's working around me, but there's nothing for me to do. So I look out into the darkness and wait until my life gains some worth.
Xxxx
Finally! I just finished working with my crew with on a new weapon… It'll be perfect for disarming and destroying SIR units. Quite an achievement, if I can say so myself.
I head back to my captains chair and look out at the stars proudly. The Irkens may own the universe for the time being, but soon we'll regain control! Each planet for themselves, with minor relations to others. No more slaves or interplanetary prisons, no more doomsday and no more… no more robots attached to creatures! It was a dangerous combination to begin with.
Suddenly, something shifted beside me. I turn to see Dib, our newest recruit… and currently our most important warrior, curled into some sort of ball, staring. I figured that it must be a human thing, exercising or something odd like that.
When he sighed, I knew to think differently.
"Dib?" I called to him, but he didn't look up. "Are you alright?"
He shrugged and continued staring over his legs, out the window.
I decided that he must not want to talk, so I left him alone, pressing a few screens in front of me. Being the leader of the resistance was a lot of work.
Xxxx
When he asked if I was alright, I just shrugged. I don't know how to answer a question like that. Am I? I mean, physically I'm perfect. They've really spoiled me here, taking care of me like I'm going to fall and shatter at any minute.
Mentally? I should be fine, too. I mean, I haven't killed anything and I'm not homesick or anything.
But there's that cloud over my head… That sort of… 'You're just a tiny blip in their lives. In 300 years, they'll forget they ever knew you' smog that's clogging up my mentality and making it hard to run right.
"… Nar? When I die…" I looked over to him to make sure he was listening. He turned his head, but I couldn't read his expression. "Will you miss me?"
I wanted to know this badly and I wanted to know it now.
Xxxx
I was taken aback by the question.
When I had first picked up Dib, I looked over the Invader Zim's files on him… then on the humans in general. I knew that he… He…
I slowly got out of my chair and walked in front of him. Dib lowered his legs and stared up at me. His eyes, half lidded and his lips, partially parted… He looked… sad.
Humans. Physical contact is a large part of their culture and closeness is important to them. They go insane without being able to talk to someone and depressed without touch.
At least, that's what Zim had written.
I did as the illustration had shown and pulled him into a hug, setting my chin on his shoulder.
I felt his large arms wrap around me and pull me into his lap. It didn't bother me, I knew he had no ill-intentions.
He never did.
I nuzzled my face into his neck. "I can't let that happen, Dib." I heard him take in a shuddering breath.
"I love you."
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