Author's Notes: And here we are to the final chapter. I just wish to thank everyone for all the amazing reviews. They are really all very appreciated and made totally worth the hours spent writing this story!
DAY 5
Lying in her bed, eyes wide open, Alicia couldn't sleep. Her mind kept on bouncing from the fight with Peter to the conversation with Will, from the previous day's talk with Kalinda to the best way of talking about it with Will. This proved to be the hardest part of the whole situation. She had no idea what to do, so she just hoped the right occasion would present itself during the day. Quickly peeking at the clock, she realized it was time to get up, the night went by totally sleepless. She started to prepare for work, trying to ignore that lingering mixed feeling of anxiety, fear and excitement. In good or bad, this was bound to be an important day.
They had been discussing the case for something like 40 minutes, still the topic just refused to come to light. Will was all caught up defining a new strategy for the Brennant case. In spite of the hearing's excellent outcome, an unexpected witness turned the situation against them.
"Don't worry, we'll come up with something," Will said reassuringly.
She was worried, yes. But not for the case. She was sure that they'd find a solution. Her mind was just… elsewhere.
"I know, I'm not worried." She gave him a reassuring smile in return. How could she even begin the discussion? Damn, she started to think that maybe it wasn't a good idea after all. Maybe Kalinda was right.
"Then what's worrying you if it's not about the case?" Will sounded slightly concerned, his soft voice and his eyes showing a genuine interest and worry.
That was it. The occasion she had been waiting for had finally occurred. She looked down, afraid her eyes might give away her conflicted feelings. She couldn't do it. It was totally wrong.
She looked up to see Will approaching, kneeling in front of her. She couldn't help but notice how things changed since their meeting at the bar. His confidence had somehow lifted the unbearable weight that kept them so distant over the last months.
"Alicia, what's going on?" Will's voice was almost pleading. "Is it about Peter?" he asked tentatively.
His question caught her off-guard.
"No," she started, then corrected herself, "I mean, yes… but he didn't…" She slightly shook her head, to make clear that it wasn't Peter's fault. She saw Will's concern turn into worry for her, as he took a seat by her side. She had to do it now. Or she wouldn't be able to do it anymore.
"Will?" Her voice, barely a whisper, gave away all her tension.
"Yes?" His own voice turned into a whisper.
A deep breath gave her the strength to go on. "Did you ask her?" She looked down, not wanting to meet his gaze, picturing the confusion all over his face, as he didn't answer straight away.
"I… what are we talking about?" His question confirmed her thought.
"Did you already ask Callie to marry you?" The words rushed out from her mouth in a heat, as if that could make it easier.
She looked up to meet the total confusion in Will's eyes.
"I… no, not yet." His voice sounded confused and unsure.
"Why didn't you?" She asked, feeling more confident at the thought that he might have changed his mind. But the confusion in his eyes told her otherwise.
"I don't know," he said. "I think… I'm just waiting for the right occasion," he explained.
It made total sense. And she felt stupid for even asking. Of course you just don't go home and propose after a bottle of beer.
"Yeah, of course." She gave him a soft smile, trying to hide the pain.
She pictured this conversation to be… different, although she couldn't say exactly how different. But Will's look told her that they weren't over the topic. And she felt like a complete fool for even starting it in first place.
"Why are you asking?" Will's question was legitimate.
Why was she asking? What was she supposed to answer? Step out with a lie? Or go on and make a fool of herself with the truth? Did she have something to lose? They were finally reconnecting after months of coldness and awkwardness, was she ready to lose it again? Because she was pretty sure that, after this conversation, things would go back to being like that again.
"Don't do it." Her voice was so barely audible that she thought she just said it in her mind. She looked away, ready for the worst.
"What?" Will's confusion seemed to increase, if that was even possible. He was probably still trying to realize how they went from the case to his marriage in the space of a few minutes.
"Don't ask her…" She felt her own words coming out from some corner of her mind, as if someone else was speaking for her. "Don't… don't marry her."
Will stood up, letting out a heavy sigh. Pacing back and forth, not talking, he was clearly trying to calm down, to search for the right words.
All she could do was to sit there and wait. She considered an attempt to step out, but it was a little too late. She had the chance to do it before asking him not to get married.
Looking outside the window of his office, Will finally talked. "Why, Alicia? Why shouldn't I?" His voice sounded between hurt and pissed.
"I…" She couldn't find the words. She just wished she could run and hide, as far as possible from there. "I'm sorry… I…" She couldn't come up with anything else.
Turning around to face her, Will didn't seem inclined to break it off. "Give me a good reason why I shouldn't marry her, just one!" He didn't sound hurt or pissed anymore, just downright angry. And that just made her feel even worse. Kalinda was right. She was damn right.
"I… it hurts too much… the thought of losing you…" These were not supposed to be her words.
She went that far, still she couldn't say those three simple words. Those words he probably wanted to hear from her for years but never got to.
"Welcome to my world, Alicia." It was all he said, before leaving his own office, before leaving her there alone, regretting her decision.
Alicia gave a quick look at the clock. It was past 7. Tired and still upset by the previous confrontation with Will, she just wanted to go home to any distraction.
Walking down the corridor and to the elevator, she paused in front of Will's office. He was still there with mountains of paper on his desk. For a brief moment, she considered talking to him, giving some sort of lame excuses for her unfortunate idea. As he looked up and met her gaze, she saw the anger was gone and replaced by a look of pain. Unable to keep the gaze, she just gave up and turned to leave. Managing to break their fragile balance, once again.
An old Woody Allen movie was helping her forget the events of the day. Some laughter was exactly what she needed to cheer herself up. She thanked the fate for the kids sleeping out, both at friends' homes.
For some reason she expected Will to call her. But then why should he? The doorbell interrupted the uncontrollable flow of her thoughts. Checking the clock, she noticed it was almost 10 pm. Who could possibly show up that late? For a moment, her thought went to the kids, so she rushed to the door, worried.
But upon opening the door, she saw that not for the first time her intuition was right.
"Will…" His painful look reflected her own.
"I… I asked you for a good reason. You didn't give me one." His tone was firm, clearly unwilling to let it go.
After all, she couldn't really expect their conversation to be closed like that.
Stepping aside to let him in, she was hurt when he showed no sign of getting inside.
"Why, Alicia? Just one good reason. That's all I'm asking." He didn't show any sign of giving up either.
She looked down, half defeated, half knowing that it was her last and only chance to fix what she had broken almost one year before. It had been that long since their break up, yet it felt like it happened only few days before. He wanted one reason, just one. And she knew that the only acceptable reason was those three words that she never told him, that she always refused to tell him, pretending they were meaningless.
Looking up to meet his expectant gaze, she gathered all the strength she could find, putting aside any fear, pride or slight doubt.
"I love you." Three words. Three simple words that she knew he'd been longing to hear from her.
She stood there, expecting some kind of reaction, just a tiny hint that, after all this time, he still wanted to hear those words, he still wanted her, and not someone else. Anxiety and pain were building up, becoming unbearable at every more second of silence.
She wanted to know what he was thinking. Or maybe not. She just needed him to break that painful silence.
His light sigh interrupted her thoughts, she met his gaze, as he started to talk.
"Marry me." Just two words. But it took her an eternity to understand their real meaning, still slightly unaware of what was happening, right there, on her doorstep.
His eyes were full with nothing but love, sweeping away all her fears. He still wanted her. She still was the only woman he really wanted to be with.
The "I love you" whispered only few minutes before was already the answer to his question. He didn't need a "yes" and she knew it. She just leaned forward, sealing her promise with a passionate kiss.
.
The End
