Memory Lane
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And what kind of future will wait for us?
I don't know.
- Cha Ji Heon and No Eun Seol, Protect the Boss
Once again it was the whimpering that woke him up.
Puchai's eyes opened slowly, sleepy, but focused quickly. The doctor's child was on the ground a few meters away, whimpering and huddled into a fetal position. Her whimpers were way too soft for the parents to catch because of the closed door and moving before he could really think Puchai hurried to the baby. Her pink pajamas were drenched in sweat as if she'd been struggling with something and her little pale arms were wrapped around her belly while her face contoured in pain.
Maybe having her indulging in the sweets had been a bad idea.
Quickly gathering the child up and unsure on how to precede Puchai returned to the living room and placed the baby over the sofa, covering her quickly. He hurried to the hallway where the door to the parent's room was, for a second he was hesitant but been no doctor (that he knew of) he straightened and knocked loudly on the door. A minute passed without answer and he knocked again.
The doctor opened the door to a slit and frowned sleepily at the man.
"Doctor, your baby is sick."
That got the man to open the door wide and hurry out, Puchai pointed towards he living room and he practically ran towards the baby, checking her quickly. The mother was no different, spurting into action and kneeling beside her child checking for fever or whatever. Puchai walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water, as if such a thing could heal the child, and returned with it. The mother asked for it and feed it to the child, while the baby whined and cried. He stepped back to inspect the scene with cautious care, and found himself mesmerized by the connection between them. It was something his heart longed, it seemed, and watching it unfold before his eyes was rather painful. Turning away to allow them some privacy Puchai returned to the kitchen and rubbed the space over his chest where it hurt, and frowned.
Then the thought from a few hours ago hit him again; what if there was such a family waiting for him? He wasn't over forty so his child, if he had any, could no be older than ten years, would this child be a girl or a boy… No, he had no children, the security in his mind and heart of the fact was startling but relieving. Maybe he should try and have some… if he ever found who he was. Again his eyes traveled down to his wedding band and soothing calm flooded him.
He will find who he is.
"Father's hands are medicine, the baby has pot belly." He heard the doctor softly murmur, and looking back at the living room saw the man rubbing his child's belly, smiling at her. The girl sniffled but was still as the doctor continued to murmured the soft words again and again, and the mother dropped kisses over her child's head. "Father's hands are medicine, the baby has pot belly."
A headache started building as moments filled his head; there was a warm bed and a woman lying on it, his hand moving over her belly while reciting the words. He was sitting by the bed, instead of lying down and something had provoked his heart to be moved to say those words. But he couldn't see her face; she was staring right at him but he couldn't see her. Puchai slid down to the floor in a crouched position and tightened his eyes closed, maybe if he tried really hard he would be able to remember something anything about this woman.
"Are you alright?"
And just like that me memory was gone. Puchai's eyes shot up and he saw the doctor's wife staring worriedly at him. He chuckled darkly and stood, shaking his head. "I'm fine, I'm just… worried."
"You seemed to be in pain."
"It's alright, I can manage." And Puchai turned away, for some reason concealing his real emotions seemed a natural for him.
"I'm sorry the baby woke you up. I hope you rested for a while at least." Said the doctor's wife, carrying the child, and looking quite embarrassed. Puchai shook his head. Around them the busy bus station moved quickly and several passengers were already moving into the bus for departure. Puchai carried a small bag full of the doctor's clothes and had changed his too formal clothes for some jeans and traveling shoes, in his hand the wedding band, around his wrist the watch he found among his scarce belongings.
"It's alright. I'm grateful to you, and I will repay you. I promise."
The doctor offered his hand to shake and Puchai took it. "As long as you find who you are and let us know you are fine."
"I will." He shook hands with the doctor and his wife and the padded the girl's head as a farewell gift. The girl flushed again, and hid against her mother's collarbone, making him laugh. "Again thank you for everything." The final call to board the bus was made and again he bowed at them and hurried to the bus, finding a seat and after storing his bag overhead, sat. Outside the doctor waved at him and his daughter did too, and smiling Puchai did the same.
Again a pain at the back of his head hit him, and he remembered waving arms moving as he drove a car. It was the same woman, whose face remained hidden by a shroud of shadows… He smiled and the bus moved; it wasn't long until he fell asleep.
There were apples dancing around his head.
And along the apples bears carrying balloons.
And several different types of pencils and pens alongside rolls of papers, with chairs and tables. They all sang the same song in different tunes and making his head hurt very badly, and in the very center of them a woman sat over a glass ceiling. She wore a white and blue dress, ribbons on her messy hair and was humming along the old rhyme, looking up as the balloons carried his wedding band, a mustache and ramen around her head. With her back to him, she seemed totally oblivious to the rest of the world and seemed happy to just sit there and eat her never ending bucket of popcorn.
"Gom se-mari-ga, Han ji-be isseo, Appa-gom, omma gom, ae-gi gom, Appa go-meun tung tung hae, Omma go-meun nal-shin-hae, Ae-gi go-meun neo-moo ki-yeo-wo, Eussuk, eu-sseuk, jal-han-da."
Then the music stopped and the balloons all popped, dropping a heavy hammer over the glass and the void beneath sucked the woman in.
"Park Gae In!" He screamed in his dream, and was certain only in his dream because the entire bus, dark and filled with sleeping travelers continued to slumber peacefully. He looked around for a second, making sure he had not bother anyone (his pride making sure no one saw him in such distress), and then sat down and gasped in surprise. It was such a vivid dream, and for a second he was afraid for the woman, but the fear was completely unfounded; the glass from the roof of the basement was removed long ago and the seats placed securely. After a moment of relaxation Puchai shoot up; what was he thinking? A glass roof for the basement? His life must be really complicated. He groaned and looked out the window, looking over the bridge that would get him to Seol. It was brightly lighted and traffic could be seen, even at the break of dawn. Sighing and now fully awake he looked at the traffic signs with interest, maybe any of them would give him a clue of where to find this SangGoJae and this Park Gae In. but why apples and glass ceilings?
The next resting spot the bus stopped at Puchai got out of the bus and stirred, the driver announced a twenty minute stop, and walking around the busy perimeter of the resting stop, Puchai looked at the options for a meal. Ramen was pretty much everything offered for his current economical situation, and so he ordered a bowl and sat down. For a moment he reached for the other side of the tray, as if a second bowl sat there, and then looked up, the image of that woman shrouded in shadows about to turn to him… Vanished before his very eyes. He ate the ramen quickly and then bought an ice cream cone, because it was normal (apparently) to have such meals; some ramen, ice cream cones… and probably drive around the city for coffee.
Or just a way of starting a trip. It sure felt like starting a trip.
But even now when he was finishing his trip and return to the bus to arrive at his final destination Puchai felt nervous for some reason. No, anxious was a better description of this feeling. The bus started again, and sitting on his seat Puchai looked out the stop station; the colors of bright vending machines, the cars moving and lighting around the walls and carts of vegetable and fruits, one filled to the brim with apples called for him but the bus was moving and there was no time to return and buy apples. Maybe if he tasted them he would remember something.
But no that he thought about it wasn't apple and apology the same word? Ok, maybe he should apologize to someone. If he could only find someone he knew he would apologize; for been late or away for so long, for having hurt them so much. For having vanished without saying a word, and worrying them to no end. His family must think him such a terrible person. Closing his eyes, for a moments rest, PUchai wondered what kind of person this Park Gae In was, and for that matter, what kind of person he was.
To be missing for over a month, wearing a tux and with no ID was such a sad thing. Weren't they looking for him? Although South Korea was such a large country maybe information didn't get through quickly, but a month was enough time for a hospital to receive and send information, right? Although a small community hospital that was recently founded, according to the doctor that was, maybe didn't get the search papers. Looking down at his watch and wondering where he could stay for the night, it was almost nine thirty and the place unknown territory. But as soon as he stood at the bus station, with a handbag in one hand a hopes in the other, Puchai knew exactly where to go.
The place must have been an office building; it was empty and had been for some time. He looked around the closed space and tried the door, it was locked. He went around the building and found a back door which he could oddly enough remember the lock was broken. But if it had been closed for so long then why would the lock be still broken? He took a deep breath and tried pushing the door… It gave up easily. The insides were wet and cold, the place dirty and when he tried the light switch found there was electricity, thank God for small miracles. Still he didn't want anyone thinking he was going around checking places out, especially without money to lease the place, so he turned off the lights; Sighing he looked around the dark space and walked towards one side, finding no obstacles in the way.
He opened the doors he found, and was happy to find a bathroom. His bladder could not thank him enough.
The last door led to a small room, in which he could picture a desk and chair, several office items, and most importantly a comfortable chair. Right now everything there was there was a box; and curious he walked closer and crouched by it, opening it. There were several small boxes, most of them school supply items, and further down a few pens and color pencils. It was easy to understand why the tenant left them there. He pulled out a roll of paper and unfolding it found the drawing of a building, designed in the form of an apple. What was with him and apples? Apples everywhere! He groaned out loud and put the drawing aside. At the very bottom he found a small metal card holder and pulled it out and open it.
Jeon Jin Ho, President
M Firm
The name didn't ring a bell.
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Author's Ramblings: kudos to whoever identifies the couple that helps Puchai, and where that name comes from… You don't have to be a drama freak to know. I love putting special guests around my fics! The rhyme used for the dream sequence is the three bears song baby Gae In sang during that day her mother died, and it's complete. I found it in YouTube and has the cutest animations… I hope you enjoy it; happy reading/writing!
