A/N: Surprise! This series is still going! xD I really wish I could update more often (I really enjoy writing these) but school is kinda my life now. But yesterday, Inspiration attacked and I had to just stop working to write this. It's way too long to be a drabble, I know (1,286 words, to be exact...), and it's pretty serious, but I hope you enjoy it. Thanks much for reading. =) Oh, and reviews are always nice, too. ;) (wow, subtle...)
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy and its characters belong to Square Enix, not me.
Chapter 6: Bed
Zack
It drove me crazy when Cloud was in my bed.
I was facing the wall and starting to fall asleep when I felt the mattress dip a little, heard the springs squeak and the sheets rustle as he slipped in. My eyes snapped open but I didn't turn to him. He didn't say anything, didn't give an explanation, and to be honest I don't think I would've heard it if he did 'cause he was way too close for me to even hear myself think. As he settled in under the covers I could feel the warmth of his body and the force of his just being there, inches away, right behind me. Him. In my bed. I felt like I was a cruddy radio or something and he was interference; the closer he was, the more fuzzy and broken-up my mind got.
He needed to give me a damn warning before he did stuff like this. I mean, would it've killed him to just say Hey Zack, mind if I join you for a bit, also remember I'm your best friend and, you know, a guy, so don't go thinking about me in weird ways again, okay?
Then the sheets stopped rustling and we were facing away from each other on opposite edges of the bed and the silence kicked in. Then I realized I didn't need an explanation because I could feel that something was bothering him.
Cloud has this way of saying things in his silences. Sometimes I think he tells me more in silence than in conversation. It's hard to put into words, but right then there was like this heavy feeling of confusion and sadness and something like regret hanging in the air, and I knew there was no way I was gonna get to sleep when he was lying there radiating all that bad energy so I turned to him. I stared at his back for a moment, just taking in the shape of his silhouette and the way his shoulders moved up and down a little with each breath.
"You okay?" I asked him real quietly, even though I knew he wasn't and he knew that I knew.
He didn't say anything for a second. But then he turned over to face me, blue eyes meeting mine and starting a new silence that was trying to say everything but just ended up making that mess of feelings in the air even more confusing.
"I don't know," he mumbled. I raised an eyebrow at him. He averted his eyes, bit his lip, and I'd never wanted to hold someone so badly in my whole life but I didn't. Blue eyes flashed back up to mine.
"You're gonna laugh at me," he whispered.
"I won't," I insisted right away. "I promise I won't."
He hesitated, sighed. My hand was resting on the mattress in the space between us and he focused his gaze on it, started tracing random lines on the back of it with the tip of his index finger as he talked to me.
"There's this guy in the militia. I don't know his name but he's always talking about people...you know. Not nicely. It never really bothered me before 'cause I never know who he's talking about. But..." His eyes flickered up to mine for half a second and went back to my hand. "But today he was talking about you."
I smiled. I was used to people talking about me behind my back since I was young and got promoted fast. I found it kind of funny that Cloud would take it more seriously than I do.
"I don't care about that," I told him honestly. He shook his head.
"I know you don't. But I really do. I didn't think it would hit me so hard, since you've mentioned that it happens, but, I dunno...the things he said..." His expression hardened and he tapped the back of my hand a few times. He was silent for a little while but I could feel that he had a lot more to talk about. I waited.
"I tried to stop, Zack," he finally said, with something desperate in his voice that made my insides twist. "I really did."
"Stop what? Him talking about me?" I asked, lost now.
"No." His eyes slowly moved up to my face and stayed there and I kind of forgot how breathing worked. "Me. I just...I was just so mad, Zack, I wasn't thinking at all, I just walked up to him and the next thing I knew I was drawing my fist back and -"
"Wait, wait," I stopped him. I wasn't sure if I was hearing this right. "You punched him?"
He bit his lip and looked at my hand. Nodded.
"In the face?"
He nodded again.
"Spiky, that's not bad," I told him very seriously. "That's the coolest thing ever."
"No!" His eyes locked with mine. "No, Zack, it's not!"
I just stared at him, not knowing what to say. His hand had stopped tracing and clenched into a fist and his eyes were blue fire. The words just spilled out when he went on.
"I dunno what happened to me, I guess maybe I was taking a lot out on him, but I punched him really hard and there was this awful loud cracking sound that felt like it went through my whole body. Then all I did was stand there with blood on my knuckles staring at him lying on the floor and there was blood coming out of his mouth and his nose and getting all over the place and everyone was running over to see what was going on and the paramedics had to come. He had to go to the hospital. He broke his jaw, Zack. I broke his jaw. Really bad. He has to get it wired shut."
He wasn't looking at me anymore. Well, he was looking at me, but his eyes had this distant look like he wasn't seeing me. Before I could even think about it I put my hand on his cheek really carefully, stroked it with my thumb to get him to come back to me 'cause I knew nothing I said would work and I needed to show him that I was here. His blue eyes refocused on me but they were tearing up.
"No one deserves that, Zack," he whispered, breaking me. "No one deserves that."
So I held him. Because he needed me to. Because I really, really wanted to. I put my hand on his back between his shoulder blades and pulled him to me and he wrapped his arms around my neck and buried his face in my shoulder, and the smell of his hair flooded through all of my senses and I could feel his heartbeat against my chest. But he didn't cry. He drew in a shaky inhale, let it out slow against my bare shoulder and sent goosebumps up my spine, tightened his arms around my neck and tangled his feet with mine so we were as close as possible and our bodies fit together perfectly even though they shouldn't. He didn't say anything more but I could feel that he was thanking me with everything he had, and there was some other feeling hanging in the silence that both of us knew was there but I don't think we were ready to acknowledge it yet. But I still buried my face in his hair thinking that no one deserves wanting someone as badly as I wanted him and not being able to do anything about it.
It really drove me crazy when Cloud was in my bed.
