Glimmer Point of View
That night he came to me. As usual, he didn't knock, he just came in quietly. I was used to the time he came now, and was always sure I was ready. I sat on the bed and only looked at him when he came in. Still silent, he came forward and sat next to me, and I sighed, putting my head on his shoulder. That was the okay that he could take my hair down, and then we'd lie down. But tonight, I wanted things to go a little differently.
Instead of getting under the covers first and keeping him out, I kept the sheets open. My heart was beating quickly. I was afraid that maybe he would try something if he was so close to me. But I wanted to be able to feel him warm next to me. He raised an eyebrow, not making a move.
"You're sure?" I nodded slowly, and he could probably tell I was still a little frightened. He gently slid under the covers, and I put my head on his shoulder. I could feel the heat of his hand before he gingerly laid a hand on my waist. I glanced at him in the darkness, letting him know that it was alright what he was doing. He slid his hand all the way around my waist, across my stomach, and slid his hand under me on the other side. I was completely closed in his grasp, a very tight grasp. I wiggled a little bit, and he let go, putting his hand back on my stomach. I sighed again. Then he spoke.
"Why are you letting me do this?" I twisted my head back to look at him. He was propped on his elbow, one hand on me, the other supporting his head. I thought for a moment before answering him.
"Because I trust you," it came out in a whisper, and he smiled at me, kissing my forehead. As I settled down and started to go to sleep, I felt his hand move. It wasn't going anywhere it shouldn't, just slowly running over my exposed skin, almost as if he was... exploring, kind of. His hand was gentle as he rubbed my midriff, my back. Where I had let him touch was where he stayed, in between my two pieces of clothing. His hand was warm, and I enjoyed it, moving closer to him, my back on his front. As he grew sleepy, his hand stopped moving, resting on my stomach. He kissed my ear and whispered into it, letting me feel his hot breathe against my neck.
"Sweet dreams Glimmer." He settled down, quickly falling to sleep. I followed him off that cliff into the world that overtakes your mind when you're asleep.
And sweet dreams I had. It was the first night I dreamed of Cato, and didn't wake in the middle of the night, terrified of him.
Cato Point of View
Before she was awake the next morning, I stared at the beautiful girl resting in my arms. She had let me touch her last night, and her skin was soft, supple, smooth and warm. She had even let me explore a little bit, letting me run my hand along her stomach and back. As I had drifted to sleep, my hand stopped on her belly, I had had a strange thought. One day, her belly wouldn't be flat like it was now, it would be swollen, I was sure, swollen with child. Glimmer, I knew, would want a baby one day, perhaps even with me. These were thoughts I wasn't used to having, and I pushed them away as I fell into sleep.
But now that sunlight was streaming through the window, bathing her in golden light and shining beautifully on her hair, I couldn't deny it. This "crush" had greatly developed into what you might call young love. Of all the girls I had in bed, I had never loved them. Clove had accused me of that one day in the arena, when we were sent off to look for firewood.
"So your new object of desire is Glimmer," she had stated, bending over to pick up a large piece of wood. I had dropped the log I was carrying, staring at her.
"What are you talking about?" I didn't like it when other people knew things like that, but she shrugged, throwing down an unusable piece of wood with enough force to convince me she was angrey.
"That's what you do, isn't it? After you screw a girl over in bed, you find a new one. In case you didn't know, Cato, that was my first time. You hurt me, you hurt me really bad. And I guess I was wrong to think you had any feelings for me, all you were looking for was a good night with a tight little virgin."
I stared at her, starting to get angrey myself. Who was she to accuse me of being so heartless, and so what if all I wanted was a night in bed with someone? That was my business, not hers. But when I glanced up at her, though I knew she was angrey, I wasn't counting on her being sad, too. Tears had gathered in her eyes, and her words ran through my head. 'You hurt me.' I hadn't meant to, I would never have hurt her on purpose.
I went and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, putting my wood on a rock. Gently, I tried to take her in my arms and hug her, talking to her gently.
"I didn't know it was your first time, Clove. I promise, I wasn't trying to hurt you, if I had known-"
She cut me off, pulling away. "If you had known, what, you would have been gentle with me? You have no idea how many times I wanted to beg you to stop, how many times I wanted to scream that you were hurting me as I bled on your sheets. But I didn't, because I'm stronger than that. Just don't go and keep on hurting girls like that. I don't know if Glimmer's a virgin, and I don't really care what you do. Just know that some things can't be forgiven, like blood pouring out of someone because you didn't think and didn't care."
She barged off then. I would have apologized; I would have held her close and told her how sorry I was I had hurt her so deeply. I didn't like hurting girls, I liked to protect them, and I did care. It was only chance this had happened with Clove by accident.
Little did we know what lay in store for us, when the nest fell because of that stupid girl from 12. And still, sometimes in the dead of the night, I'll hear her screams. That's one of the things that haunt me the most, the screams of pain from a dear friend who I had wronged, and never gotten a chance to get right with.
Glimmer Point of View
We were in 2 now, Cato's district. I could tell he was happy as I stood in his doorway, watching him get ready. He had a grin on his face and was rushing around the room, throwing on clothes and checking his hair in the mirror. Though he knew I was there, he made no move to say anything as he sped around trying to look like perfection. A suit had been laid out of him, with a dark blue tie that matched the dress I was already wearing. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't great at actually tying ties. I watched him struggle with it for a minute, trying to tuck my laughter behind my teeth, before going to him. Sure, he could slice someone's head off in an instant, but give him dress clothes to put on, and he was sunk. I took the piece of fabric in my hands and tied it like I had for Jarius on his first reaping. He had quickly denied a bow tie, and mother had given him an old one of our fathers. I had helped him tie it, and he had beamed up at me, proud of himself that now he too had the chance to represent his district.
Once we were both ready, we still had a few minutes to kill. We sat on a couch, looking out the window as others talked across the room from us. I looked Cato in the eye before dropping my gaze to my lap as I opened my mouth.
"Won't they hate me? I mean, Clove is dead, she's the one they want, not me." He put his hand on my leg.
"They won't hate you, it's not like you killed them. Besides, no one is going to do anything. You'll probably get some nasty looks from her friends and family, but nothing major. You'll be fine, just stick with me."
I nodded. To my surprise, everything did go fine. Yes, there were some dirty looks from people, but at least everybody loved Cato, who waved to the crowd with a huge and triumphant grin on his face. I was less certain, but Cato stuck close to me, even putting a hand on the small of my back as we both waved. In that instant, everyone knew that I was off limits. I had heard stories of people being attacked, either physically or verbally, when they stopped in other districts. But now I was sure that wouldn't happen, not with him by me.
As I had asked him to meet my family in 1, now he was having me meet his. His mother and father, Aless and Kanan, and a little sister named Brena. Their house wasn't in the Victors Village, and I was surprised. However, that's not to say they didn't live well, as his father was the Mayor's assistant. I was shy upon meeting them, but they were nice and welcoming, especially his little sister. She was 10, not yet old enough to compete in the Games. It was clear she adored Cato, and now looked up to me too.
Dinner was wonderful, and afterward, his mother and I walked outside in their large garden. We were both quiet for a moment, but soon she was talking.
"You're a very fine girl, Glimmer. I can see why my son adores you." She smiled at me, her blue eyes sparkling.
"Thank you, though I'm not sure 'adore' is the right word. He's very sweet, you raised him well." She nodded in thanks and we continued to walk. Cato was the spitting imagine of his mother. She had blonde hair pulled up, and blue eyes just like his. His little sister looked more like his father, with brown waves, though both had blue eyes. She stopped and took my hands in hers, smiling still.
"Oh my dear, he certainly does adore you. Of all the girls that he's looked at, you are very clearly the one he prizes the most. I hope you both turn out very happy together."
My eyes got wide as she said the last sentence, and I dropped my hands from hers in surprise.
"Together? Oh no, we're not together." I shook my head, shock in my eyes. But she turned her head to the side knowingly.
"Then what are you, just friends? I can tell you each have feelings for each other." I glanced up at her under my lashes. She could read people very well.
"It's...complicated," I said after a big breathe. She sat us both down on a small stone bench, and asked me to tell her about it. So I took another gulp of air before finding a place to begin in my mind.
"Well, he holds me at night, but during the day, we never really are that close. And I certainly do like him, I just don't know if he likes me for me, or if he wants...something else." It was awkward, accusing her son of wanting me in bed. But she only nodded. Just as she was about to say something, Cato came around the corner.
"Glimmer, there you are. Mom, please tell me you aren't barraging her with embarrassing questions." He smiled at her, and she at him. She stood up and hugged him, putting a hand on his cheek and looking at him as a very proud mother.
"I'm so proud of you honey. Now," she said, dropping her hand, "you take care of this girl." He laughed and offered me a hand to help me up. As we left her in the garden, he didn't drop my hand, and we walked close to each other. Brena came running out of the house and into the backyard. He let go of my hand, and as she came around the bend, picked her up. She shrieked with laughter as he put her on his hip. She grinned at him, still laughing, and he smiled back.
"How's my favourite sister?" He asked, poking her in the nose to make her laugh even harder. She rested her head on his shoulder.
"I'm your only sister silly." He still smiled at her, putting a hand on her head.
"You're still my favourite. Are you getting sleepy? Do you want me to put you to bed? I know you like Mom too, but I have to leave tonight." She nodded and sighed tiredly against him. He smiled at me and left.
He expected me to wait downstairs, but I didn't. I followed him as he carried his little sister up the stairs and helped her get changed for bed before tucking her gently in to bed with a kiss on the forehead. When her breathing grew steady, he stood up to leave, and found me peeking in the doorway. He smiled again and closed the door behind him, taking my hand as we went back down the stairs.
"You're so sweet with Brena." I looked at him. It was if he was always smiling around his family.
"I love her to bits, and you can probably tell she adores me. She likes you to, I promise. Everybody does." He was sweet, and I wondered why he hadn't let go of my hand, not that I was complaining.
As we got back on the train, he looked back longingly, barely able to see the top of his house. I could tell he wanted to stay, but with a sigh he boarded the train that would carry us to District 3, two days away.
Cato Point of View
She comes to me that night. I've been ready for a while, lying in bed and thinking about my family, especially sweet little Brena. I adore her, and she adores me. When I volunteered, she was my only family member who cried when it came time to say goodbye. Mom and Dad, though they were worried they were confident and proud. But my little sister was scared for me, and I could feel it in her grip around my neck before time was up and Dad had to pull her away.
That was the hardest thing of the whole Games. Even when I met Glimmer and thought I might have to kill her, the image of Brena would have made me do it. Now, though, if I had to choose, what would I do? That's just the thing, I don't know.
Either way, she comes to me that night. Still in those skimpy clothing, and this time, like the last, I can keep the desire out of my eyes as we lay down. She's stopped going stiff, now she relaxes into me as I run my fingers through her hair. Also, now that she lets me sleep next to her, I can run my hand along her skin. It's nice that she trusts me, nice that I can run my fingers along her stomach and she won't jerk away. She's made progress since the night I found her having that nightmare.
Tonight I do the same thing as last night, let her get settled before running my hand along her exposed midriff. It's sexy, and I like it. Though we're not in a relationship, I'm not sure what this is. I know Mom considers us dating, especially since she knows that we sleep in the same bed. But we're not.
Though as I touch her, rubbing lazy patterns as she falls asleep, I can't help think of what might be. Will she ever let me get beyond this? Will she ever let me kiss her, hold her, grip her in my arms and maybe even take her under me in bed one day.
