At least 2 out of the 7 points out of the way for sure. Not bad work for a day. Ron would almost feel pleased were he not terrified of the fall-out.
He had just kissed his teacher; there would definitely be repercussions for that one way or another. It would be up to Trelawney's discretion.
Ron sighed heavily as he trudged far away from the castle and into the Hogwarts grounds. It hadn't even been worth it. Trelawney's lips had left a strange taste in his mouth, something like peppermint and coffee.
Not that Ron could think of a teacher he'd rather had kissed instead. Madam Hooch? Probably not. Professor McGonagall? No, definitely not. Snape? Oh dear god no!
As he purged the image of Snape puckering up from his mind, he contemplated his future. Sure he'd have to return to the castle soon. It was growing dim, the sun would set soon. And yet, he didn't want to encounter the twins. He could imagine their evil grins, dripping with glee, as they asked him to recount his encounter.
How he hated the pair of them.
This was beyond mere sibling rivalry. This was douche-baggery on a much larger scale.
This was a very steep price for a passing assignment.
As Ron headed closer to the surrounding forests, and inched closer to the edge of the lake, he resolved that next time, he would just suck it up, apologise to Hermione and then get her to do his essay.
As he approached the lake's edge, he spied Hermione, still on her search for Mrs Norris. She smiled as she saw Ron, unaware of the immense danger she posed him.
"Hey Ron, any luck in the castle? I've been canvasing the grounds quite thoroughly between lessons and so far, I've found no trace."
Ron forced a smile in return, "No luck up there either. I'm sure she'll turn up eventually though. Also while I'm here, I should let you know that Harry is looking for you. I can't remember exactly why though, must have slipped my mind."
"It can probably wait a while longer," smirked Hermione, "hah, some days I feel like all I do is solve problems for boys."
"Well it's your own damn fault for being so clever isn't it," joked Ron, "maybe you wouldn't have this problem if you weren't such a know-it-all."
"Oh whatever," pouted Hermione, but Ron knew she wasn't that cut up about it.
Ron cast a glimpse back up at the castle, they were starting to light the candles.
"We should get back to the castle. Dinner should be ready soon. The cat can wait."
Hermione nodded and reached for the hand bag she had laid down by a nearby tree stump. As she lifted it, a book fell out and slipped onto the mud.
"Crap."
Ron reached down and clutched the book by its spine.
"Here. You dropped this."
"Yeah, I saw that thanks," noted Hermione sarcastically.
Ron rolled his eyes, "What book is that anyway? 'The Little Mermaid' is that some magical botany thing?"
"Botany is the study of plants Ron," sighed Hermione bemusedly, "The Little Mermaid is a Muggle fairy tale."
"Oh, sort of like 'Babbity Rabbity and her Cackling Stump'?"
"I've never heard of that, but I would assume so. It's about a mermaid who falls in love with a man and uses magic to trade her voice to gain legs. However, there's a catch, she has to make the man fall in love with her or she'll transform into sea foam."
Ron raised an eyebrow, "Oh, Muggle fairy tales sound weird. So let me guess, she woos the prince and they live happily ever after?"
"Actually she fails and turns into sea foam," frowned Hermione, "It's the Hans Christian Anderson version. It's sort of depressing actually."
"Wow, why the hell would you want to read that then?" smiled Ron, "It sounds awful."
"It was a gift from my parents," scowled Hermione.
"Oh," said Ron quietly, "Okay then."
"I'll see you at dinner, I've got something to take care of," said Hermione coldly, and she huffily skulked off into the forest, leaving Ron alone to feel quite insensitive.
As Ron re-entered the castle, feeling quite sorry for himself, he suddenly felt something icy and cold splash over his head. The sensation was unpleasant and shocking. Ron swore quite loudly.
Above the doorframe, Peeves cackled madly, clutching the newly empty bucket tightly before aiming it at Ron's head.
Ron ducked quickly and the receptacle bounced off the floor and rolled quietly into the corner.
"What the hell Peeves?"
With a toothy grin, Peeves sank to Ron's level and began to recite ad-lib.
"O Weasel bee, sweet Weasel bee/ have you washed behind your ears? / O Weasel bee, young Weasel bee/ why do you drip with liquid fears?/ O Weasel bee, poor Weasel bee/ You're in for a shock/ Freshly squeezed from the horse's cock/ You're drenched in horses' pee!"
A terrible smell entered Ron's nostrils and he suddenly pictured himself strangling Peeves.
"Horse's pee? Is this… about Divination?"
Peeves screeched with pleasure, "Very naughty of you, oh so very bad. Quite rude, thought you deserved punishment, just desserts. How does it taste?"
Ron fired a spell at Peeves who dodged it and zoomed away sniggering, leaving Ron quite alone and dripping in the hallway. As he stood soaked, Filch entered the room. He twitched and twisted and fidgeted and froze upon seeing Ron.
"Look at you, you nasty brat. You've wet yourself."
"It was Peeves," delivered Ron in a dead pan tone, "I swear to God, Filch if you don't shut up and piss off, I will murder your cat."
Filch's eyes bulged and Ron knew he had chosen his threat poorly.
"You!"
Filch leapt forward at Ron's throat, intending to throttle. Ron batted away his grimy hands and took out his wand.
"I didn't mean it like that you psycho! I- I never touched your cat. Sore subject I get it! Sorry for the poor choice of words but seriously just back off!"
Filch lowered his arms but his eyes betrayed murderous intent.
"If you've touched my cat… I'll kill you. I will cut you," he hissed, miming vicious acts of retribution as he stalked back into the darkness.
Ron held his poker face as he watched Filch retreat into the darkness. He suddenly became aware that he was holding his breath and released.
"That was too close," shuddered Ron and he immediately turned and darted up the stairs, returning to the Common Room with the intent to immediately shower.
On his way, he encountered Neville. Neville cast a look at Ron and wrinkled his nose.
"You smell like urine."
"Thanks Neville."
To Be Continued…
