Scarlet Scroll

Nuvole Bianche


This was not going to be an ordinary day. Sakura knew that the moment she squeaked open the shutters and took a look at the rain-washed streets beneath a sky that looked low, grey, and sullen. She understood how it felt, and envied it a little; if she could piss buckets of water down on hundreds of people and spoil their day when she was feeling down, that was a power she would deeply enjoy and appreciate.

She wanted to stay there, leaning against the windowsill and looking out at all the darker, richer colours that emerged in the world after the rain, but the prostitute's little girl in the brothel opposite was playing by her window with a fan and a doll, and she was prone to waving at Sakura whenever they noticed each other. Sakura rolled the shutter closed again and dressed carefully, fashioning a sling for her arm with a patterned scarf before she went downstairs. Kakashi would be waiting for her at the tearoom around the corner as he always did every morning, and for once she hesitated in the entrance, not sure if that was really where she wanted to be right then.

Well, the fact that they'd arranged to have sex in twelve hours was going to make for awkward conversation over coffee.

It was better than being cooped up on her own, however, so Sakura grabbed a spare umbrella from the provided rack and set off into the drizzle. If she chickened out of facing him this morning, she reasoned, how was she supposed to cope with facing him tonight? When she turned the corner and saw the teahouse, she saw him at the same table he usually took, sheltered from the rain beneath the parasols that were rather meant for sunnier days.

But he wasn't alone. Two masked figures flanked him, watching her approach. From the way Kakashi was fondling that cake fork, he was enjoying the company so much he was contemplating stabbing one of them. And though Sakura didn't like to admit it, she was almost glad the two idiots were there. It meant she wouldn't have to be alone with Kakashi, at least.

Still, she would be even more glad if they both dropped dead. Of natural causes, of course. They didn't want to make Danzou think they'd had anything to do with it – so with that in mind, Sakura hoped Kakashi stopped testing the sharpness of his fork's prongs by stabbing it at the table like that.

Upon reaching the table, Sakura slid into a spare seat, exactly equal in distance from Jin, Ari, and Kakashi, which was about as far as she could reasonable get. A waitress came out of the teahouse, looking annoyed about having to cross through the rain to reach her customers. She looked even more so when Sakura just brushed her aside. She wasn't hungry or thirsty. It was hard to work up an appetite in such dour company.

The moment the waitress had scurried back out of sight, one of the idiots leaned over to her. Sometimes it was hard to tell which one it was until they spoke. In this case it was Ari. "Suda Hiroshi has returned to Kumo. He left last night."

Sakura shrugged. She had expected as much. "I'd flee the country too if I thought I'd murdered someone." What was more unexpected was that Jin and Ari really had bothered to investigate matters last night.

"He can easily be informed of his error," Jin said. "We can send him a lovely little missive in your name, apologising for your unappreciative behaviour and asking for a reconciliation."

"You could," Sakura said coolly, "but why? You hoping he'll come back to finish what he started?"

Ari laughed, but Jin stared at her so intently that Sakura almost thought that was exactly his hope.

"If things have turned violent between you and the target, of course we can't continue with this plan," Ari said.

Sakura's eyebrow ticked up briefly. That was remarkably reasonable for an idiot, but she wasn't going to argue.

"Though one has to wonder what you did to drive him to it," Jin added blithely.

What was she supposed to admit to? Kicking him across the room or daring to try to leave in the first place? She hadn't done anything she felt guilty about, but in their mind she should have just lain back and taken whatever Hiroshi had given her without attempting to resist or fight back. At the very least they would be incensed that she had ever tried to leave, but then they would never learn about this from her lips.

Kakashi hadn't said anything yet. She didn't quite dare to look him in the eye, but she could see out the corner of hers that he was still resolutely staring at his fork. What had they all been talking about before she'd arrived? Was this the cause of Kakashi's apparent dark mood, or was Sakura herself the reason? He had not exactly been pleased about what she'd asked him to do… what she'd asked him to sacrifice.

"We'll have to remain in Otafuku Gai for the time being," Ari continued. "There is still a chance you've conceived so we'll need to know for sure before reassigning you to a new target. There's also the chance that Suda Hiroshi may return shortly, and you can resume relations with him."

Sakura's eyes snapped upon the masked man. "You just said-!"

"It would be unwise to send you back to him, though you are a kunoichi. If your attempts to become his mistress had failed, we had always planned to fall back on more radical measures of getting you into his bed. One of which was to kill one of his regular prostitutes and assume her guise. We can still arrange that."

Why had she never been informed of this? She'd thrown her life on the line last night, literally, to walk away from Hiroshi, and now they were telling her that even if he'd let her go she would have been sent straight back to him with a new face? She looked at Kakashi to see if he'd known about this back-up plan, being her official handler and all, but he was still looking at his fork. He wasn't even listening.

Sakura turned her ire back on Ari. "He'd see through that in a second," she said bluntly. "This guy has wiped out whole armies and villages, you don't take him lightly! If he figures out who I am a second time, your top secret plan will be blown and I refuse to take that gamble with my life!"

"Could you please shout 'top secret plan' just a little louder?" Ari asked sweetly.

"If you don't like that option, you shouldn't have messed up," Jin said coldly. "You don't get to refuse."

"So you said last night," Sakura fired back. "So what are you going to do? Throw me down and assault me again? I'll admit the threat of your grubby hands touching me again could convince me to lie down in front of an oncoming train."

Kakashi's fork stabbed the table hard enough to make the teacups bounce in their saucers. They all glanced at the silverware now firmly lodged in the wood, and then up at the man. He was staring at Jin rather hard, though Jin was pretending not to notice.

"You'll just make anything up to get out of trouble, won't you?" Jin said disparagingly, though he needn't have bothered. Sakura knew what he'd done. Ari had seen it. And Kakashi obviously knew Jin's character well enough to believe it.

"If Hiroshi comes back to Otafuku Gai, I will leave," she said with full conviction.

"You'll do as you're told," Ari corrected her, and he couldn't have known how closely his words echoed Hiroshi's.

"You just better hope that he never comes back," Jin sneered.

"And you better hope I never hear that either of you have so much as laid a hand on Sakura again," Kakashi said quietly, "or else I will be explaining to Danzou about the tragic end you met when you drowned in the river during one of your many drug-addled nights out."

Here was a threat they could take seriously. Ari just shrugged, unconcerned, for he'd never touched Sakura and didn't plan to; he was a pure voyeur through and through. Jin, on the other hand, was no longer radiating smug confidence. He shot Kakashi an annoyed glare. "You just try it."

"You touch her, you compromise the mission," Kakashi said, putting in terms they would understand. "And I will kill you as Danzou demands I must."

Harsh reprisals against those who compromised 'subjects' like Sakura must have been on his mind a lot recently.

Jin turned away. "Yeah, well don't believe everything she tells you. She's a compulsive liar," he said, but it sounded like the failed bleating of someone who knew he'd been outmanoeuvred. He pushed away from the table. "And this place is a fucking graveyard. I'm going."

Jin walking away from her was just about the only activity of his that Sakura approved of. Curiously, Ari didn't follow immediately. She'd always thought they were attached at the hip by some invisible bungee rope, so that she was half expecting him to fall out of his chair and slide along the street behind his fuming buddy like a poodle on a leash.

"If Suda Hiroshi doesn't return, we will stay here only two more weeks," he said to Sakura and Kakashi, "until an accurate pregnancy test can be taken. After that we'll return home, or return home and start making preparations for the next target, depending on the results."

"Is that all?" Sakura asked in clipped syllables.

Ari lifted his hands in a defensive gesture. "Don't kill the messenger," he chided pleasantly. "We weren't the ones who decided to stay on. If it were up to us, we'd be heading home today, so if you want to take it up with someone, take it up with your sensei. He's the one who decided we should wait and give Suda Hiroshi another chance before shipping out."

Sakura glanced sharply at Kakashi, just quickly enough to catch him look away from her. He'd suggested they wait for Hiroshi? It couldn't be true… but why wasn't he denying it?

"Since I'm sure you have a lot to discuss," Ari said smoothly, "I'll take my leave."

Sakura barely noticed him getting up from the table and walking away in the same direction as Jin. Perhaps there really was an invisible tether between them, after all? She at least had enough sense to wait until the slap of his footsteps against the pavement had faded and she and Kakashi were literally the only two people out on that grey, miserable little street, before she drew in a breath and spoke. "Why would you make us stay? If Suda Hiroshi comes back-"

"I'll kill him," Kakashi cut in softly. "I'll kill him before anyone knows he's here and I'll burn him to a pile of ash so no one will ever know."

"Don't you dare," she whispered.

Kakashi blinked at her, surprised. It was the first time he'd looked her in the eye that morning.

"Hiroshi could easily kill you, Kakashi. It's not worth it," she said. "He is not worth it. Let's just go home."

Kakashi's gaze shifted away from her, back to the fork he'd planted in the table. "Suda Hiroshi deserves to be pecked to death by crows, but that's not what this is about. I'm not hoping he'll turn up. I hope he doesn't come back here for a long time."

"Then why do you want to stay here?" she wondered, because Sakura had had enough of this town. It was a rotting, weeping pustule on the face on the earth, where the bacteria gathered and spread and ate away as the souls trapped there. With Hiroshi gone, it was a weight off her back, but like an animal that senselessly and irrationally tried to flee wherever place it had been injured, Sakura yearned to leave, even if she was forced to crawl. Her subconscious whispered to her that bad things would continue to happen the longer she remained in this man-made hell. She tried to ignore it, but her heart, all too aware of its mortality today, agreed.

Kakashi had never been one to put the heart before logic. "If we're going to do this," he said quietly, "then it can only happen here. Danzou has too many spies watching people like us back in Konoha… here, we only have to worry about Jin and Ari, and they're easy enough to shake without arousing suspicion."

Sakura didn't know what to say. He'd obviously thought ahead already, further than Sakura, and of course he was right. He usually was. If they went back to Konoha now, they would almost certainly be caught.

How awkward. It almost felt like her first lover all over again… trying to sneak around behind her mother's back, hoping that her teammates wouldn't find out and tease her. Except the penalty for being caught now was not some mild ribbing or a disapproving mother who had her heart set on a daughter who would save herself for marriage. If she was caught with Kakashi, she would be dead.

There was no thrill or excitement here either; just a bleak resignation to what had to be done. Kakashi was not her lover. She wasn't tingling with excitement at the thought of sneaking off to a love hotel with him – she was breaking into a cold sweat. Every time she thought of the coming night it set off a cascade of anxiety that rolled through her body, making her sick and making her heart flutter like it was considering giving up again.

The consequences of their decision were tremendous. It went far beyond simple sex, for if their plan succeeded there would be a child, and that was something that could never be undone. It would alter their lives forever one way or another.

"You haven't changed your mind?" she whispered, fiddling with the tablecloth.

"Have you?" he shot back.

It was pretty clear that both of them were in exactly the same place as last night, though both wished that weren't so. They'd made an arrangement; their mutual silence on the matter was all the confirmation they needed to hear that it was still the case. She could be kind and speak up, absolve him of any responsibility he felt towards her, but… she couldn't. She had to be selfish.

With a sudden sigh, Kakashi pushed away from the table. "I need a drink," he said.

Sakura knew he didn't mean the non-alcoholic kind. "It's the middle of the morning," she pointed out dimly.

"I know the time," he grumbled, palming money onto the table. At least he wasn't going to leave her with the bill.

"You're not supposed to leave me unaccompanied," she pointed out.

"I'm sure you'll be fine," he said, and began to walk away.

"What am I supposed to do?" she called after him.

"Whatever you like."

Sakura found herself quite alone all of a sudden. Her hands moved restlessly over the damp umbrella lay, soaking her lap, wondering what to do with herself. Kakashi didn't usually just abandon her like that, but even Sakura had to admit she hadn't been keen on spending the day together with him. She was having trouble looking at him. He definitely struggled to look at her without fleeing to the nearest bar for liquid courage, evidently.

How the hell were they going to survive tonight?

The teahouse's door swung open as the waitress braved the rain once more to collect the bill Kakashi had left. "Need anything else?" she asked politely, trying to flatten her hair.

Sakura raised her gaze to the young woman's face, so envious of the simplicity of her life that she genuinely begrudged her. After all, her biggest concern seemed to be whether her hair got wet or not. "Here," she said, passing her the umbrella before she too slipped from her seat and headed off into the haze of drizzle.


"The Hokage wants to see you, Sai," said the secretary who had once been Konoha's chief hunter-nin before her entire division had been dismantled and transferred to Root, all barring herself.

"Did he seem… upset to you?" Sai inquired delicately. It was always important to know the mood of the Hokage before one went to meet with him… one had to know if it was a good idea to go see the Hokage immediately, or flee the country and change one's name.

The former ANBU chief blinked slowly. "He seems the same to me."

Then he probably wasn't in trouble. Sai bowed and thanked her, and proceeded on up the tower's winding stairwell to the Hokage's suite. There were now Root ANBU stationed about every ten steps, standing perfectly still as if beneath the long shapeless black coats and porcelain masks were bodies of marble. Sai himself was indistinguishable from them in his own mask and coat, so he felt a little sorry for the secretary outside the Hokage's rooms who had to identify everyone who passed through.

"The Hokage wanted to see me," he said to her.

"Which one are you?" she demanded without looking up from her paperwork.

"Sai."

She didn't bother asking for identification. "Go on through."

Inside the Hokage's reception room, it was as dim as ever. The semi-circle of seats were filled with the 'barons', former sub-leaders of Root, back when it was only a small division half-hidden from the Sandaime. Sai remembered working with them, defending Konoha from the most ruthless threats with the most ruthless means, but these days they just sat around in their fancy chairs, bickering and governing. Danzou had once promised Sai himself a chair, but as of yet he'd heard no more on that matter, and he felt that if the offer came, he would pass on it. Looking around this room of stagnating men, gradually isolating themselves from the rest of the village and falling out of touch, Sai was not impressed.

The moment Danzou saw him, he made a welcoming gesture with his working arm. "Sai," he said warmly.

As one of the privileged few, Sai did not need to kowtow. He still had to bow low enough to expose the back of his neck. "Hokage-sama," he greeted neutrally. "How can I be of service."

"I'd just like to borrow you expertise on a certain matter. You only need to answer a few questions for me," Danzou said, crooking his finger towards a lower ranked ANBU dawdling at the edge of the room. At his signal the man came hurrying over, bowing and scraping as he offered up a file to the Hokage. "It would seem that the nine-tailed boy isn't quite as good at hiding as his supporters would hope. He's been spotted rather close to the village, only this morning."

"I see." It was not in Sai's nature to react, and he did not now.

Danzou's uncovered eye fixed him with a speculative look. "You spent a long time in Naruto's company, Sai. Do you feel you understand him?"

"Better than most," Sai said truthfully.

"And what do you think would be his motive in appearing so close to the village?" Danzou demanded. "Is he declaring his intentions?"

Sai thought for a moment. "I do not believe Naruto-kun is one for idle displays, so I do not believe he intends to intimidate you. Nor is he infallible. If he has been seen, I doubt it is because he wanted to be seen."

This answer seemed to satisfy Danzou. He smirked, rubbing his lower lip with amusement. "Then why would he be back, do you think? Perhaps he is contacting someone? Allies within this village?"

"Possibly," Sai conceded.

"You've been keeping tabs on certain persons of interest. Have you seen anything unusual this week?"

"Not that I have noticed." Which would be true, as long as Sai neglected to mention he hadn't been looking too closely.

"In any case, divisions six through thirteen have been dispatched. Perhaps this time we'll be able to bring him in and give the people the justice they deserve. Konoha will no longer be threatened by the nine-tailed monster, or whatever armies he raises against us."

Sai smiled blandly behind his mask. The Hokage did not need to repeat the propaganda lines to him, he and everyone else in that room knew Naruto was a threat to Danzou only and that was why hunter-nin combed the land for him. But perhaps a lie oft repeated would eventually seem like the truth, even to those who told it?

"We must not forget that Naruto-kun is still a young man," Sai said. "He may be able to draw others to him with his charm, but he is still prone to recklessness and naivety, and trusting in those who shouldn't be trusted. I do not believe we need to fear him raising an army."

"You are young yourself and as close as you got to Naruto, you cannot understand the intricacies of what all my strategists and generals have uncovered," Danzou said softly.

"Of course, Hokage-sama," Sai responded swiftly, ducking into another bow. He'd spoken out of turn.

"Before you go there is another matter I wish for you to turn your attention to," Danzou said, holding out his file for Sai to take. "As you know, the summer season hasn't been kind to us this year and crop production is down thirty percent. Not all our gentle citizens understand the need for restrictions on rice and grain supplies, and the black market is growing. I foresee this becoming… quite bothersome. People do not understand that what they receive is stolen from the mouths of others who may be in more desperate need. I need you to gather information and take out operatives if necessary."

Sai had heard there had always been a black market in some form or another, but he'd never paid much attention to it. If it was growing, was it really his job to gather information on it? "I'll see what I can do," he said.

"Excellent," Danzou nodded. "And if you hear anything regarding the nine-tails… you will come and tell me immediately, won't you?"

"Of course, Hokage-sama."

Sai bowed to him and his barons and left, contemplating his new directive. He was so engrossed in wondering where he was going to start investigating the intangible 'black market' that he almost didn't notice when, as he descended the staircase, one of the motionless Root guards standing by the wall peeled away and began to follow him.

Almost.

It wasn't that unusual to be followed in this town, but it was always a little worrying. When it happened it often meant the Hokage had found reason to suspect you of something less than complete loyalty. Strange to be stalked so blatantly, but one didn't complain. Sai remained calm, flicking his follower just one glance over his shoulder to let him know he'd fooled no one, and decided to carry on as normal, continuing homeward to fix his lunch. By the time he reached his own front door, his tail had vanished. Sai paused with the key in the door, wondering if the guy had given up, then he shrugged and went inside.

There he found his stalker, rummaging around his fridge.

"Don't have any ramen do you?" he asked.

Sai's eyebrows shot up as the man straightened, his hood falling back to reveal an tousled mop of straw sunflower yellow hair. He'd been right there in the Hokage tower not fifteen minutes earlier, a heartbeat away from the Hokage.

If Danzou had known, he might have begun to rue the day he'd decided that his closest protectors and subordinates should wear clothing that perfectly disguised their identities. Apparently Konoha's number one enemy could walk right underneath the Hokage's nose without any fancy jutsu or anyone realizing.

"What are you doing here?" Sai wondered mildly.

Naruto knocked his mask up and gave him a reproachful look. Sai supposed that was quite a muted greeting to give such a man in such a situation, but when he was truly, honestly shocked he quite often forgot to contrive to appear so.

"Nice to see you too, Sai, you poker-faced bastard." Naruto dragged a carton of milk from his fridge, and even though it was over a month past its expiration date he chugged it down.

"There are over half a dozen hunting divisions tracking you right now," Sai pointed out to him. "You shouldn't be here."

"Why, you gonna turn me in?"

"Once you leave, yes," said Sai. "If it's discovered you were here and I didn't report it, I'd be on the same charges as you."

"Which were… what?" Naruto scratched his head. "I forget."

"Treason," Sai supplied.

"Sai, you know that's not true."

"Truth doesn't matter so much if a lie has made the village safer than it's been in twenty years," said Sai. "Besides, it's no longer a lie. Planning to depose the Hokage is treason."

"Even if we're talking about a really lousy Hokage?" Naruto asked innocently.

Sai sighed patiently. "The village has benefitted under Danzou."

"You don't really believe that," Naruto said, giving him a peculiar look.

"Not always," Sai admitted. "But it is mostly true."

Naruto gave a loud sigh and slammed the fridge door shut. "I knew it was a bad idea coming to see you," he said. "I came to see Kakashi-sensei really. He was the one who was trying to contact me."

"He's not here."

"Obviously, and Sakura isn't here either." Naruto crossed the room to the window to peer through the dusty curtains. It appeared to be a reflexive habit that he'd picked up since Sai had last seen him. "I came as soon as I could, but it wasn't soon enough."

"I'm sure they're fine," Sai said placidly. "They left on a mission a few weeks ago."

Twitching the curtains shut, Naruto fixed a consternated look on Sai. "You sure about that?"

"I'm sure it was a mission." Whether or not they were fine was another matter.

"What kind of mission? Where are they?" Naruto asked, withdrawing from the window to reexamine the fridge a second time in case something delicious had materialized inside it in the few moments since he'd last opened it. With no ramen, he decided to settle for a plate of dumplings. Sai lamented the loss of his lunch.

"I don't know where they are. And I don't know anyone else who would know except for the Hokage himself."

Naruto regarded the dumplings, not looking as hungry as he had a moment ago. "And if he's quietly had them executed?"

Sai had thought of that. "Then we may never hear from them again."

Naruto set the plate aside. His appetite had vanished entirely. "How can you say something like that, know it could be true, and still say Danzou has been good for this village?"

"Better to run away?" Sai wondered.

A scowl settled low on Naruto's brow, marring his boyish features. What had been a petulant expression as a child was becoming something that could chill the blood on a young man. Not for the first time, Sai wondered if Danzou had made a mistake to make an enemy of him.

"I'm going to find Kakashi-sensei and Sakura, since I'm the only one around here who seems to care," said Naruto hotly.

Before Sai could respond, the front door behind him began to rattle and bang under the weight of a hammering fist. He turned sharply, reminded unpleasantly that he'd forgotten to lock the damn thing when his new visitor opened it without waiting for an invitation.

"Sai? You in?" A Root mask appeared in the. "I got the ink you ordered."

Sai glanced nervously over his shoulder.

"What you looking at?" asked the Root nin.

Naruto had absolutely vanished.

Sai turned back uneasily. "Nothing."


Every time Kakashi had looked at the clock hanging crooked above the bar, the hands appeared to have jumped forward. The adage that watched pots never boiled couldn't be more untrue. No matter how much he stared at those numbers, time just kept grinding forward without mercy and not all the beer in the world could hold it back.

Not that Kakashi had dived very far into his bottle. He was still a responsible adult, and his obligations weighed heavily on him. He wouldn't be able to do his duty happily or even very willingly, but he would do it with a clear mind and sober hands. Besides, there was only so much he could drink before he went numb below the belt, and the last thing he needed right now was for Sakura to accuse him of sabotaging himself to get out of this ridiculous… morbid… humiliating… perverse….

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose and pushed his half- empty glass of beer away. The clock was warning him that midnight was slipping ever closer and he was beginning to grow desperate. There had to be some other way; something he hadn't yet thought of that would provide them both a nice, neat escape from this situation. The phrase 'cold feet' was an understatement for the condition Kakashi suffered from. His feet were not just cold, they were blocks of ice encased in concrete and he had the slightly panicked feeling that he was about to be dropped into a very big, very deep lake from which he would never escape.

He wondered what Sakura was up to at that very moment. She'd obviously come to terms with her decision a long time ago – her determination was unnerving, though he hoped she at least felt the same trepidation as he did. Had she gone back to the inn by now or was she, like him, trying to preoccupy herself with some other banal activity? Kakashi couldn't be sure which. Without him there pushing her to go out and forget herself, Sakura was always content to lock herself up at the inn. He hadn't meant to abandon her this time… but he just needed one day to be by himself and come to terms with what they were going to do.

He'd been wrong to look for absolution in alcohol, however.

With one last look at the treacherous clock, Kakashi gave up staving off the inevitable. The turning of the earth had paid no attention to his personal problems and night had fallen far too early for his liking. Dropping his change on the counter, Kakashi left the bar and joined the stirring revelry outside beneath the glowing streetlights. The rain hadn't let up since he'd hidden himself away among the diehard alcoholics, and though it hadn't deterred anyone from coming out to enjoy the night, it pattered down on Kakashi's bare head to add dripping cold insult to injury.

He had nowhere else to go now except back to the inn. He'd put it off for as long as he could, but he'd reached the limit.

The inn wedged between two dreary brothels was as quiet and dark as ever when he returned. He nodded briefly to the housemaid who was sweeping the stairs, passing her on his way up to the floor where his team's rented rooms lay. As usual, the room he shared with Jin and Ari was empty; the idiots never spent a night here they couldn't spend in a whore's bed.

He approached Sakura's room even more cautiously. Was it too much to hope she wasn't in? Well, yes… because if she wasn't, that would be serious cause for concern. And yet even now as he walked to his fate he was still hoping for any – just any excuse to not do this.

But when he knocked politely at the door, Sakura's soft voice beckoned him inside. "Come in."

She was kneeling on the floor by her futon, packing a small bag with one hand. She didn't look up at him as she said, "I was beginning to think you had run away."

"Considered it," he grunted.

Her hand paused on her hairbrush. "So did I."

So she was as scared shitless as he was. That was one comforting thought at least.

Sakura drew her bag shut and stood to pull at a coat that was hooked on the edge of the window lintel. With only one free arm she struggled with it, and Kakashi automatically moved forward to help drape it over her shoulders. She muttered a thank you, but Kakashi was still bemused. "You going somewhere?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. "We are."

"Oh." So this room wouldn't be the scene of their demise.

"There's a… a hotel a few blocks away," she explained.

Kakashi knew exactly what kind she meant. "A love hotel."

"Yeah."

"That's a good idea." It was something he might have suggested before too if he hadn't been trying damn hard not to think of anything to do with this.

"You ready?" she asked.

As I'll ever be, he thought, stifling a sigh that threatened to escape him. Taking his faintly bemused nod as consent, Sakura stepped round him and took the lead. They passed the maid on the way down the stairs, and she stepped aside for them with a polite bow that made Kakashi uncomfortable. He would prefer if their trip out tonight went unnoticed by everyone, even if this woman couldn't possibly know where they were going or what they were up to.

Out in the street, Sakura pulled her coat's hood over her head, as much to obscure her face as to keep the rain off. She glanced once at Kakashi to make sure he was still with her, then set off up the hill.

It was a uniquely painful silence that followed them. Kakashi had never felt the need to fill gaps in conversation with inane chatter, but this lull between them gnawed at his nerves. He had no idea what to say to her as they made their way steadily through the rain and the damp crowds. He had no idea where they were going either. Every now and then he stole a peek at Sakura, and her dripping green hood gave nothing away.

"You ok?" he asked carefully.

Sakura either didn't hear him or chose not to answer. After a moment she drew to a stop and touched his arm to draw his attention. Here. She pointed to building of grey concrete whose only distinguishing feature was one luridly pink neon sign that was intermittently flashing the words "Love Inn". Whether this was deliberate or a sign of a faulty circuit was hard to tell.

"Here?" Kakashi couldn't keep all the apprehension from his tone.

Sakura shrugged at him, and after a quick glance around the street she hurried up the steps and disappeared inside. She must have chosen this particular place for a reason, and perhaps while he'd spent the day committing entropy in a bar, Sakura had been busily scoping out the local hook-up locations. Kakashi wasn't sure how he felt about that, but he supposed he should be glad that she had gone for the more understated kind of place. Otafuku Gai was a place where tackiness ran high, and you could find just as many hotels shaped like fiberglass castles and elephants here as ones built in more traditional shapes with wood and brick. This one fell somewhere in between.

As Kakashi followed Sakura out of the rain and into the hotel foyer, the benefit of choosing a love hotel for their purposes was more apparent: there was not a single person in sight.

These were places that catered to anonymity. A couple of chairs and a potted plant lines the walls for appearance sake, but the counter for check-ins was unmanned and shrouded by a barrier of thick, misted glass. There would be no cleaners or staff here during business hours, and the only service came from a slightly dirty looking machine on the wall that might at first glance been mistaken for a vending machine.

Sakura wandered over to it, pushing her hood back. Under the cheap florescent lights, she looked pale and ever so slightly ill. She certainly hadn't bothered with any make-up tonight. "Which one would you like?" she asked him. Kakashi came to look over her shoulder, and realized he was looking at a panel of pictures showing a small variety of rooms and beds. Some were lit up, though quite a few darkened, presumably indicating which ones were available, and beside each picture was a button and a price.

Kakashi's brain ground to a resounding stop. Sakura was waiting for his answer, but she might as well have asked him which finger he didn't mind snipping off. There was one room with an obvious marine theme going on, painted mostly blue with cartoony fish swimming across the walls and duvet – a scribbled note explained the provided scuba suits were not available right now due to cleaning. Another room appeared to be lifted right out of a little girl's fantasy with heaps of pink cushions on a pink bed in a pink room and teddy bears hung from the ceiling like it was a macabre crime scene photo of a mass suicide. Another room had a red, heart-shaped bed. Another one purporting a 'medieval theme' looked no different from the room they'd just left behind at the inn, complete with shoji screen walls and a worn-out futon, though this one appeared to provide elaborate kimono costumes and one wig (also absent for nit treatment). Kakashi took one look at the room lined entirely with mirrors and decided he would sooner do it in the gutter.

"Well?" Sakura pressed, glancing at him, and he suspected she was only making him choose because the ghastly collection had stumped her too. All the vaguely normal looking rooms were taken and the only ones left were the ones that were a little too perverted, even in a town populated exclusively by perverts.

"Um…" Kakashi reached out to tap his finger on the only room that might not haunt his nightmares in the weeks to come. "That might do."

The room he'd pointed out was the only themed room that might have passed for normal – at least fifty years ago. It was done up with spartan, retro furniture and though the description said it was modelled on some TV show, neither Kakashi or Sakura were familiar with it, so it looked normal enough.

"I guess that'll be ok."

Before Kakashi could even think offer, Sakura began pushing money into the machine. The moment she pressed the button for the retro room, it's the picture went dark and a key clattered into the dish below. She held it out to him. "Room two oh one," she said, giving him a faint smile that did nothing to disguise the uncertainty in her eyes.

He looked between that key and her conflicted face. "We don't have to do this," he reminded her, for what it was worth.

And though Sakura's smile actually widened, paradoxically it only emphasized how sad it was. "Yes, we do," she said.

He sighed inwardly. "As long as you're sure."

They met no one else on the way up to the room, and once the key let them inside Kakashi took careful stock of the layout. It smelled clean at least and though the carpet had seen better days, the sheets on the bed looked new. Of course, the moment he saw that bed his mouth went remarkably dry. He looked back at Sakura who was also staring at it a little uneasily, and when their eyes met, they both knew exactly what the other was thinking.

"I – uh – think I'll have a shower," Kakashi said suddenly, spotting the connecting bathroom. "Unless you want one first?"

"I already showered," she said quietly, looking as if she just wanted to get it over with. He might have obliged her if he wasn't quite so conscious of the fact that he smelled quite strongly of cigarettes and alcohol – the signature of anyone who spent the whole day in a bar. "I guess I'll just make myself comfortable," she said lightly and sat down on the bed to test its softness.

Like a real retro bed, the springs creaked beneath her as she bounced.

Great. Kakashi backed rather quickly into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. For longer than he cared to admit, he remained backed up against the sink, mind racing. There was a window beside the shower stall, but far too small for his frame to wriggle through. He as very much trapped, if not by physical walls then at least by his own conscience. He had promised to do this for Sakura. He would do it.

But everything about this screamed wrongness. It was unethical. Immoral. Sordid. One upon a time that girl out there had been his very young student, and even if that seemed like a lifetime that belonged to two other people, certain images would always stay in his mind. Images like taking his new team through the forest, while Sakura picked flowers and offered them to her companions based upon their meanings. Blue forget-me-nots for Sasuke, to represent coolness and serenity. Yellow buttercups for Naruto, because it symbolized brashness and idiocy – and mostly matched his clothes. Pink hibiscus for herself, because she wanted to be seen as graceful and beautiful. And to Kakashi she gave a curled frond of green fern, to symbolize health and resilience. At that point she'd thought he, like every other adult and teacher, was immortal and unbeatable. After his first brush with a certain jonin from the mist village she'd revised that position, but she'd always looked up to him.

It felt like a betrayal to resort to this. Her life was not supposed to collide into his like this. How desperately sad it was that the only man she had to fall back on was him. She deserved better.

At the very least she deserved better than his weasel-like reluctance.

Piece by piece, Kakashi stripped his clothes off and left them in a heap on the floor, along with the light gold charm necklace. The shower offered only one tiny bottle of soap, but it was enough. He rubbed it into his skin and into his hair until even his mother who had once battled long hours with him in the bathtub would be proud. He ran out of soap, and therefore ran out of an excuse to stay in there any longer. He dried himself and examined himself in the mirror very briefly, tracing a finger down the puckered line crossing his left eye, and then the more natural crow's foot that had begun to appear in the last few years.

She definitely deserved better, but this was all he could give her.

Like the inn, the love hotel provided its patrons with complimentary bathrobes that seemed like a strange hybrid between paper and towel. A white one was hanging on the back of the bathroom door and Kakashi slipped it on loosely.

He appraised himself one last time in the mirror – time enough to ask himself one last time what the hell he thought he was doing – before he unlocked the door and stepped back into the bedroom.

Sakura was already in bed. From the look of it she'd ditched her sling and donned her own bathrobe, and was now sitting up against the hard capsule-like pillows with the thin sheets pulled up over her lap, arm cast resting lightly on her stomach. She looked like the last person who should be in a place like this.. and she was looking at him like she was just a bit worried that he was going to eat her alive.

Not a great feeling.

He stepped towards the bed.

"Could you turn the light off?" she asked him suddenly.

Kakashi paused. "Sure." He moved to flip the switch and the room plunged into darkness, which Kakashi didn't find particularly more comfortable when he had to bump and feel his way over to the bed.

The springs creaked disturbingly under his weight, and Kakashi realized the mattress wasn't just fashioned after a fifty year old design – it probably was fifty years old. He began to unfasten the belt at his waist, but Sakura must have heard him and touched his arm.

"Can we leave our clothes on?" she asked.

He went still, strangely and painfully aware of the warmth of her hand through his sleeve. "Sure." Abandoning his belt, he shuffled between the cool covers. As he went to lay his head down on the lumpy pillow, something small and plastic scraped his neck. Kakashi picked it up.

A complimentary condom, laid out like a mint.

Kakashi discreetly tossed it aside. They wouldn't be needing that tonight.

As his eye began to adjust to the dark, thanks to the slivers of light peeking around the edge of the curtains, shapes began to emerge from the darkness of his surroundings. The tiny mini bar. The broken, plastic radio on top of the mini bar. The wooden ceiling fan directly above him that was trailing loops of dusty spider web. Sakura's shape beneath the covers beside him, so far away.

Neither of them were moving.

"We don't have to-" Kakashi began.

"You don't have to keep saying that," she said shortly.

"Right," he sighed. "I'll just get on with it, shall I?"

Picking up his acerbic tone, he almost literally heard her wince. "I'm sorry, it's just… awkward. Let's just get it over with?"

"Sure," he muttered in a resigned sort of way, and propped himself up on one elbow to squint at her dark shape beside him. As far as romantic interludes went, this was pretty poor. Not since a teenager had he ever begun a sexual encounter with a girl by hiding from each other in a dark room with lots of clothes between them, but he'd coped back then and he would cope now. Steeling himself, he reached out to what he thought might be Sakura's face and brushed his fingers against her cheek.

He felt her stiffen. "What are you doing?" she whispered.

"Uh…" Kakashi's mind went blank again. "Getting in the mood?"

"That's not necessary," she explained to him. "This isn't really… I mean, what we're doing isn't actually sex, it's just a formality. You don't have to get me in the mood. So can we not do those things? No… no kissing or anything, ok? It just gets weird."

Kakashi's hand dropped to the mattress, defeated. "Sure." She certainly had a funny way of looking at things, sex wasn't sex and it was the prospect of kissing that she found weird, but if she didn't want the courtesy of being seduced beforehand he would respect it. It hadn't just been for her benefit, however.

"What are you waiting for?" Sakura whispered, shifting anxiously. "I'm ready."

"You may be ready," he stressed.

If she hadn't noticed already, this was not the sexiest situation for either of them. The sight of a woman lying in bed whispering that she was ready to receive him was nowhere near as stimulating as it otherwise might have been. His manhood had never worked on a hair-trigger to begin with, and nothing about this mood or Sakura in a cast (in the wake of her first heart attack no less) enticed him.

"Oh." Sakura sat up a little, sounding surprised. "I see… I'm so used to Hiroshi, I didn't think…"

Kakashi almost felt the need to blurt an apology. It was a fine line he was being forced to walk between repugnant over-eagerness like Hiroshi and physical antipathy that could be almost as insulting. He didn't want to appear totally indifferent to her, yet he couldn't force something he didn't feel.

"Do you need a moment?" she asked him.

She couldn't possibly see the incredulous stare he now gave her. What did she expect him to do with that moment?

"Or I could help," she added quickly, turning to him. "Um… if you don't mind, that is."

"Help?" he echoed uncertainly.

Sakura reached over, touching a hand to his lap beneath the covers. "May I?"

"Sure," he murmured, though he wasn't sure what she intended. Not until the same hand found the edge of his robe and slipped inside and her naked fingertips met his equally naked thigh. The muscle jumped, he couldn't help it. Sakura hesitated but she didn't stop, and with slow coaxing movements her nails traced circular patterns along flesh he had never realized could be so sensitive.

Kakashi held his breath. The conscious, rational part of his brain reminded him to relax and go along with it, but more instinctive parts of him rebelled, clamping down ruthlessly on any response she tried to tempt from him. He'd spent all day fighting this moment, and now that it was here he was dismayed to find he was still fighting it. Just relax, he tried to tell himself. Let go. It would all be over sooner if he accepted it…

Her hand was moving higher. However much he warred with his own biology, it wasn't a fight he was equipped to win. His breath was shortening, climbing like her hand, like his pulse. Mouth dry, he waited for that inevitable and horrifying moment when she would close her hand over his sex and they would never be able to look back. Sakura had drawn closer and now her shoulder bumped his – she was close enough that when she bowed her head he could smell her hair.

Nothing special. She'd washed her hair with the cheap, generic brand of soap that the inn liked to stock, and as such she probably smelled quite like everyone else who used that bathroom. But right now that mild, inoffensive scent crept into his senses like a fine perfume. Her thumb stroked a bold line up his inner thigh to his groin, and when the back of her fingers lightly brushed against his cock, his breath hitched. He knew he was lost. They could both tell that he was already half erect, which was half more than Kakashi had expected to be so soon.

"Do you need me to continue?" he heard her ask meekly.

Should he be pleased that he'd risen to the challenge, or just ashamed? Kakashi might have given her credit if he wasn't sure this was evidence of just how long it had been since he'd last known a woman, or at least he didn't like to think he was the kind of guy who was so easily aroused by such disturbed situations. Did she think of him as just one more sweaty bastard looking for an easy fuck?

"Is that enough?" Sakura asked again when he failed to answer.

He nodded, a little dazed at how calm she appeared and how level her voice sounded. Whatever her thoughts, she was keeping them to herself. Weeks with Hiroshi had desensitized her to intimacy, or at the very least taught her how to hide her emotions extremely well. When he'd joined her in this bed, she'd begun to hold something back from him, turning off a part of herself as easily as he'd turned off the light, and he wasn't sure yet if it made this easier or even more unsettling. He didn't like to think she was going to treat him the same way she'd treated Hiroshi… or that she felt she needed to.

She certainly showed no hesitation when she placed one steadying hand on his shoulder and slipped her leg over his lap, straddling him snuggly. Kakashi sucked in a sharp breath, not sure where to put hands. But that seemed a trifling issue when he could feel Sakura pushing aside the clothing that separated them.

The moment he felt their warm flesh meet beneath the tangle of robes and sheets, his hands clamped to her hips. "Wait," he gasped. They were moving fast. Too fast.

Cotton rustled in the darkness. Sakura's hair brushed his cheek as she curled her plaster-cast arm loosely around his neck, lining their bodies up. Her hips shifted gently into his and at the first hot touch of her sex against his he froze, knowing what was coming next. This was it. He couldn't stop what was about to happen, nor could he stop his body's primitive reaction to the slight weight of the girl hovering over him, or her bottom rubbing against his growing erection, knowing that in moments he would be inside her.

Sakura finally slowed. All he could hear was her soft breathing and to his disgrace it was far steadier than his own. Between all new lovers there was a moment of anticipation where neither knew how their match would play out, or how their bodies would come together. Normally it was exciting to have that thrill, not knowing if it would be good, bad, passable, or mind-blowing. False lovers like themselves felt only the bite of uncertainty. Whatever would happen next, it would not be pleasant.

"I'm sorry, Sensei," she whispered, close to his ear.

But none of this was her fault. When Naruto had left he'd told Kakashi to protect her, and this was what it had come to. He'd failed her in every possible way, and hearing her apologize for it opened a sharp pain in his chest that made him clench his eyes shut. His fingers dug more deeply into the bunched cloth around her waist as her own slipped discreetly between them.

For the first time she touched him, lining his half-hard cock to her entrance. Then her hips angled inwards and incredible heat broke over him. With one precise roll of her hips she took him inside her, deep and so snugly she could take him no further.

Kakashi uttered a muffled curse against her shoulder, unprepared for the jolt of raw pleasure that scraped his nerves. He needed a moment to adjust – to settle his shaking his hands – but Sakura was impatient. At once her hips began to lift and roll in a gentle, measured rhythm, designed to coax and arouse swiftly. Pleasure so basic and strong it stung surged through his veins with each slide. His body was slave to such simple manipulation. As Sakura's controlled breathes broke against his temple in time to her tempered thrusts, Kakashi felt himself growing harder within her, and loathed that he couldn't hold the outward composure she showed.

She'd evidently had a lot more practice than him.

"Is it ok?" she whispered to him in a voice steady enough to mock him.

Kakashi grunted a strained sound of agreement, feeling a little like he was falling apart at the seams. Disgust and agony warred with pleasure. His clothes itched against his burning skin – he wished he could have taken them off. His hands flexed restlessly against her, still unsure what to do with them and half frustrated that her bathrobe offered little clue to the shape or feel of her body, and half guilty that he even wanted to know. And did she realize that her fingertips were stroking the back of his neck like that, or did she do it without thinking?

Perhaps more than anything it was that little caress that made the burgeoning desire spiral further. In the dark there was nothing but the thrum of blood in his ears and the heat of her body thrusting methodically against his – that delicate touch of her hand grounded him. It made him almost able to kid himself that she was someone else. Someone who actually wanted to be with him.

Even if all that lay between them there were thin clothes, there was a distance that couldn't be overcome even when pressed against each other like this. To Sakura this meant nothing; she went through the motions like a machine, completely unflustered and almost preternaturally aware of exactly what to do to push his body so close to the edge so quickly.

He supposed… if it was only necessary for him to climax, that was how it would be. They would do what was required and nothing more.

Sakura's rhythm began to pick up, her thrusts coming stronger and faster, more determined. Did she think he was taking too long? Kakashi tried to hold back a moan and failed. His arms moved automatically, wrapping around her waist to press harder into her. It was shameful, but he was beyond self-control. Prickly sweat broke across his skin as his sanity began to slip; he needed to hold her and thrust up into her, wedge himself deeper into that slick, perfect heat and forget for a moment why they were doing this. She was just another warm body. That was enough, wasn't it?

The pleasure built. Sakura's body was demanding, and at his stifled groans her fluid grace became a hard ride, her hips rocking so hard against his the dratted bed springs had begun to creak. She was going to push him over the edge by sheer force. No tempting, no teasing. She wanted him to finish now. She was holding her breath.

Kakashi couldn't bear it any more. With a pathetic cry, he bucked beneath her, holding her fast as he plunged and released, pulsing inside her.

Every moment of it was as exquisite as it was unbearably humiliating.

The second it was over, tremors of fatigue swept over him. He couldn't speak or think and he was only partially aware that Sakura was lifting herself off him and quietly retreating to her side of the bed, setting her robe straight. When he finally recovered the energy to lift his head and look at her, her outline against the soft light from the window let him know was as composed as ever.

"We should go," she said quietly. "Before Jin and Ari realize we're gone."

He hadn't even caught his breath yet. "Right..."

As Sakura slipped off to the bathroom to change in privacy - such a strange notion after what they had just done - Kakashi pulled his clothes on mechanically. He moved like a dead man, though he had the presence of mind enough to leave a tip for the sorry soul who had to clean these rooms and wash these sheets every morning, but all in all they'd rented this room for less than half an hour; they'd hardly got their money's worth.

Dressed, they stepped out into the brightly lit hall and finally they could both see one another... and neither could look the other in the eye. They made their way stiffly and silently back to the foyer to deposit the keys back in the machine and then suddenly they were back on the street, as if nothing of consequence had taken place. The sky was still raining, and the people were still laughing and drinking and rolling around the streets looking for women, fun, and trouble, and no one noticed the couple escaping the cheap love hotel to join the sedate flow of traffic.

Kakashi glanced sideways at Sakura as they walked and noticed she was sliding the lucky cat charm he'd given her round and around on her wrist a little compulsively. Normally he might have placed a comforting hand on her shoulder at a moment like this - even if he didn't always know what to say, she usually took solace from a simple touch. But right then Kakashi couldn't bring himself to touch her. Scant minutes ago he'd been inside her, and despite their casual appearance to others, something raw still leapt through the air between them.

Neither spoke until they reached the inn, and only then when they parted ways outside the door of Sakura's room. Her eyes rose briefly to his before darting away. "Thank you," she said rigidly.

He placed his palm against the doorframe, leaning his weight there lightly. "My pleasure," he said without an ounce of humour.

They both waited, perhaps for the other to say something, but all that was developing now was an even more excruciating silence. Sakura stepped back into her room, eyes on the floor. "Goodnight then," she murmured.

He sighed and turned away.

"We need to do this again tomorrow night," she reminded him before he could move away.

He returned a weak smile. He'd guessed as much, and that was what made this moment all the more painful; he knew it was merely the first of many nights to come. "G'night, Sakura."

At last she slid her door shut, leaving Kakashi alone in the corridor. There, without anyone to see him, he slumped sideways and pressed his face to the wall, silently asking himself one very dire question.

What the hell had he done?


TBC