DISCLAIMER: ... HUM... NOPE STILL DON'T OWN HOMESTUCK OR WAL-MART FOR THAT MATTER.
== Dave: Commit one of the stupidest acts of human activity know to man
You meet Jake and Jane at the front of the Wal-Mart – just in front of the residential Subway.
"Strider! There you all are, we've been waiting an awful long while." You roll your eyes as Bro nods to Jake slightly as the islander wraps a tanned arm over his shoulders. You can tell your Bro is flustered. No one else but you and Jake can tell but by Strider standards he's extremely flustered.
Jegus. Out of all the people in the universe, it just had to be English – who also happens to be related ecto-biologically to Egbert… And that is sort of fucked up in your eyes, since that may or may not make your tastes in dudes somewhat similar; if not the same.
It would be so sickeningly ironic yet so very disturbing on so many levels, you could hardly count.
But you shalln't dwell on this fact, for now, you've got shit to fuck up.
"… Mother." And hello Ms. Roxy Lalonde you smirk as Rose's lips purse into a thin white line. She hesitates to give an icy smile. Old habits must die-hard; you'd think the whole passive-aggressive thing would die after the Game but you suppose not.
"Roxy! Hello, I thought you weren't coming…" Jane says with a friendly smile.
"And you aren't drunk." Bro adds on with that calculating under tone in his voice that appears when he wants to be a nosy asshole.
"Who said I wasn't drunk? I'm just not smashed." She states with a thin smirk. "Besides, they wouldn't let me in with my wine."
Rose face palms.
You smirk.
Somewhere in heaven or hell, (or wherever the hell dead people go since Christianity obviously isn't the correct religion and your universe is run by six year-old alien trolls apparently)… the Batterwitch laughs.
"So, what's first on the list John?" says Harley with an excited smile, "By what I hear it sounds like a lot of fun!"
Your boyfriend flips open his cellphone and pulls up the webpage. "1. Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to theirs cart."
Everyone stares at you.
You flick everyone off.
"No. Just no. Fuck you. Fuck this shit. Make Bro do it." you say looking off to the side. Why did it have to be you? Wait. Don't you dare answer that question. So what if you could do this without anyone noticing with your Timey… Thing… Bro could do it just as easily with his flashstep.
Still they all stare at you.
You decide to do the Timey Thing.
As you slow down time, and walk to the closest checkout your apple phone buzzes.
- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] -
GC: H3Y COOL K1D H3H3H3H3! :D
TG: terezi
TG: hey what the hell do you want?
GC: JUST COMM3NT1NG ON THE D3L1S1OUS D1SPLAY 1 4M 4BOUT TO T4ST3 W1TH MY V3RY OWN S3NS3S
GC: 3V3RYON3 1S WOND3RING WH4T TH3 J3GUS YOU3R 4LL DO1NG BY TH3 W4Y
GC: 1 M34N NON3 OF YOU H4V3 P3ST3R3D 4NY OF US IN 4 F3W D4YS
GC: W3 W3R3 G3TT1ING R4TH3R BOR3D
GC: V1RSK4S P1SSY L4T3LY M4YB3 SH3 1S ON
GC: JOHNW1THDR4W
GC: H3H3H3H3H3
Wow, everyone is being such jackasses today.
TG: oh gog
TG: fuck you terezi
TG: just
TG: go smell a dead rat
TG: or some shit
GC: H3H3H3H3
GC: W3 4R3 W4TCH1NG YOU COOL K1D
GC: H4V3 FUN =]
GC: M4YB3
GC: SOM3 OF US M4Y T3L3PORT 1N NOW 4ND TH3N
GC: TO OFF3R OUR S3RV1C3S
TG: jegus
TG: dont just
TG: do us all a favor and dont
TG: youre all going to just make shit more complicated
GC: BY3 S33 YOU 4ROUND D4VE =]
TG: oh for fucks sake
- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] -
…
You decide you hate Terezi.
However none the less you head over to two poor saps' shopping carts and swiftly switch their things over – as luck would have it one was some sleazy old dude with a shit load of porno magazines and the other was a nun.
A nun.
Need you say anymore?
Anyway, you switch the magazines and the various holy items over and walk back over to your 'friends' to watch the magic happen.
You speed up time.
There is a girly-horror-movie scream as the nun picks up one of the kinky magazines to set on the conveyer belt.
Then – the man behind her drops to his knees proclaiming the phenomenon a sign from God.
Your work here is done.
A whistle comes from behind you, "Whoa, that was kind of cruel mate."
"Not cruel. You haven't even seen cruel. Ironic." States your Bro with a shrug.
Rose eyes you for a while, "Strider…"
"No Lalonde, I will not let you analyze this incident as a research study for your 'tentacle therapy'. I am never laying on that damn couch again."
…
Whose eyes have been drilling holes into the back of your head for the past three minutes?
You turn around to meet a beaming Egderp.
"… What?"
"I'm just really glad."
Looks like your boyfriend was in one of those moods again. Shit. "About?"
"You look happy."
Good Gog… could you get anymore sappy? And no. No you did not have a hoard of carnivorous butterflies threatening to burst out of your stomach like some Alien bullshit – what are you all talking about?
Despite yourself, you give him a nod and keep on walking, he quickens his pace to match yours. The beam is still stuck on his face as he looks up at you brightly; you stare back, eyes softening behind your shades.
"Lil' man, I'd love to watch both of your hearts go doki doki and be all kawaii all day, but we've got shit to wreak."
"Yes Dave, I would prefer not to watch you and John have sloppy makeouts with your eyes."
Oh yeah. These people were here.
Reluctantly you tear your eyes (well… shades…) from John's and give a nod to the group. "Yeah, Yeah… so what's next?
This time it's Harley to seal your fates, "2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment."
Dear Gog today was going to be a long day.
A/N: Don't worry this isn't going to be 333 chapters, I'll probably start combining more numbers into a chapter later on. But anyway, yes another chapter. Do not expect this too often though… I'm sorta lazy so you guys might have to kick me once in a while ^ ^"… Anyway, do tell me what you think =) Like it? Hate it? Should it be completely wiped from the Internet…? Give me some feedback =3.
And dear lord I'm terrible at being Terezi. My Terezi needs to go die in a hole… *sobs* I didn't do the original one justice…
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Review… REVIEW… THERE ARE AT LEAST 100+ OF YOU ABOUT NOW REVIEW.
