A/N: So this took a while, what you got a problem? Shut up and read, you friggin' wildebeests!
Runic Writings belongs to Joshabi
"Every human being must find his own way to cope with severe loss, and the only job of a true friend is to facilitate whatever method he chooses."
—Caleb Carr
Tribal
Doll Face
Time: 12:27 AM
Location: Ponyville, Joke Shop
"Boss, why're you so glum all of the time? Everything's alright." Night Shade tried comforting the chief by sensually running a hoof on his belly.
Stargazer kissed the boss' cheek delicately. "Why don't you tell us what's wrong?" She coiled her tail with his sleek, gelled counterpart. "This used to always cheer you up."
Moneybags continued disregarding the posse of mares. Detrimentally thinking of methods he could use to earn a bigger sack of bits. However, Ponyville was no Manehattan. Not many crimes came up within the vicinity of Celestia's rule. The godfather didn't want to physically hurt anypony unless he was forced into that situation. The herd's most profitable exports so far were bootlegging and drug-dealing. But they would need something else if they were to thrive.
"What's the matter?" Wisp nuzzled the disparaged mobster's neck. "Anything I can do for you?"
"Leave me be," Moneybags deadpanned. "I need to think."
Doll Face disrupted the girls' advances with a clop of her hooves. "Leave im' alone. If he wants to be a sourpuss, let him."
The mares sighed collectively and headed back to the rest of the gang with their heads hung in defeat.
"What's your problem?" Doll asked plainly. "A grown colt ought to enjoy having six fillies on him at once."
"We're in a crisis." Moneybags said grimly. "Bits are running low and we haven't had much business… I don't know what to do." Doll Face saw him breathe hoarsely, was he going to cry? "These ponies need me to be a role model—a leader… and I can't provide for them. All I've done is waste lives." He cleared his throat.
Doll Face aimed her vision at the ground. Boss couldn't cry, not in front of her. "I'm sure we'll get a break soon." She kept her eyes on the floor.
Moneybags did not respond. An awkward silence fell upon the two. The boss kept himself from breaking down and the filly contemplated what to do next, until all of a sudden the sound of music tickled their ears. Low, barely audible tunes snuck past the door and dispersed throughout the side room. The herd was snared in financial turmoil, and they were having fun.
"Is that music?" Moneybags murmured.
"I'll handle it."
Quantum
Time: 12:35
Sparks and fumes spewed out of the forge. The orange aura produced by the flames worked as the main source of light for the vestibule. Seal, Cackle, and Blaze were having a grand old time. The scientists leaned over the blacksmith, observing his work.
Seal Soul threw his mask back and glared at the couple of lunatics. "Yo, diamond dogs—I can't do this shit with you guys breathing down my fucking neck twenty-four-seven! Know what I'm saying?"
Quantum took a step back. "Whoa nelly, Ah just reckoned ya might need some help with the reconstruction part."
"I can't re-engineer the automatic crossbow with supervision! Space is needed. All I need is wood, steel, and a forge and then I'm done. So back the hoof up! Know what I'm saying?"
"Ah think Ah have the right to watch what y'all are doin'! … You're not exactly the brains of this here collaboration." Quantum flagrantly tipped his hat.
"Squeeze it redneck! I can't be bothered by the likes of you, ya backwards ass country pony… know what I'm saying?"
Quantum brushed off the blacksmith with a huff. Cackle was experimenting with some vials and brews on the dining table, laughing maniacally all the while. Quantum passed him with his most convincing friendly smile. Alas, it was for not.
"Grub dich, Quantum. Vhy don't you come over here, learn somezing." The mad pony beckoned the pragmatic scientist over to his side.
"What are you working on?"
"Vell, Vile Seal is working on ze automatic crossbow. I took ze initiative and got to ze poison, vith this ve can easily blanket ze arrows in deadly ingredients." Cackle guided Quantum through the procedure, giving key advice to the simple chemist. After a while the substances in the mortar started bubbling violently.
"Now, ve need just ze right amount of dragon blood. If you don't pour in ze right amount—not too little, not too much—Ve aren't going to have a very good time, yes?"
"Whaddya mean by that?"
"As in ze whole place blows up in a volcanic, fiery explosion and ve all die… so don't screw up!"
Quantum trembled nervously. "Shouldn't y'all be doin' this?"
"Vhere's ze fun in zat?"
"Can't we pour this into a beaker to measure it first? Or try anything else?"
"DO NOT QUESTION MY GENIOUS!"
Everything was on the line. All of the herd's lives rested on Quantum's shoulders. If he slipped up one bit, everypony dies. For the sake of science, for his dignity, for his life, he could not fail. Nothing could go wrong…
"BOO!"Dust pushed Quantum from behind from out of nowhere. The salt and pepper-maned stallion they picked up in the bar loved spooking people… to a fault. Time slowed down.
The vile broke on the side of the cauldron and splashed the majority of the dragon blood into it.
"NEIN DUST! YOU'VE KILLED US ALL!" Cackle strangled the prankster's neck furiously.
The recipe gurgled, producing a small amount of bubbles before reverting back to its previous condition. A faint smell ascended from the mortar and into the air, it reeked of flower stems and cockatrice head.
"Well, wasn't that anticlimactic?" Loin heart commented. The unicorn was picked up by the herd at the local restaurant as well, his yin-yang mane and way of speaking turned off most ponies. But he had his priorities. "Ya nearly blew the whole buckin' place down ya knobs!" He turned to the pony sleeping in the corner. "How in the hell is this bloke still sleepin'?"
"Yeah," Stargazer answered. "Wonder Bread's a real sleepaholic… it's a problem."
Iron Skull sulked near the table, playing with his plate of spaghetti with a fork to pass the time. He didn't really know what he was supposed to do. He didn't know anypony. The brute saw Sol and Dante talking it up by the stereo and made his way for them. Making friends with the lieutenant wasn't a bad idea anyway. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?
"Hey," The ex-guard greeted dourly. He wasn't exactly the best at breaking the ice, so he decided to make a joke to get things on their way. "So… seeing any girls lately?"
"GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!" Like an automated machine, Sol shouted the word in absolute terror.
"Aw, now what did you go and do that for?" Dante chastised while throwing his hooves in the air. "Now I'll never hear the end of this, you idiot!"
"I didn't know he was going to spaz out!" The violent rookie retorted.
"Are you foaling me? He used to be the biggest pervert here, but ever since his nut-sack was nearly decimated, he hasn't been the same! Yo Parallel get me a bag."
Parallel Circuit granted him a brown, grocery store bag. Dante put the shroud over Sol's head and put his fore legs on his shoulders.
"Come on buddy, find your happy place."
Sol was crying behind the bag. "Okay, um… I'm not surrounded by girls I… I'm surrounded by candy! Yeah Candy!"
"Shame on you," Dante shot Iron Skull a contemptible look before lumbering off.
Lunar Blaze placed his hooves overhead in consideration, intending to make Jackal laugh by the end of their talk. Iris bet him ten bits that Jackal couldn't shape anything other than a neutral masquerade for the rest of eternity. Comedy wasn't Blaze's forte, but he did his best to pretend it was. He was on his seventeenth joke and still didn't constitute a grin.
"Give up Blaze," Iris gloated. "You know I've won!"
Blaze promptly bucked his hind legs in frustration before decompressing them again. "Wait, here's a good one. So…" the earth pony snickered at his own joke in pretense. "I went to the cakes' bakery the other day. I offered Mister and Misses Cake fifty bits if they could get the pastry off the top shelf. And Carrot Cake said he couldn't because… the steaks were too high!"
Weasel blew the coffee out of his mug and into Blaze's eyes, he didn't react immediately. "HAHA, oh wait, they don't sell steaks you bucking idiot. They sell cakes!"
"Yeah, that made better sense in my mind. But Jackal knew what I meant right? Right, Jackal? You get it don't you."
Jackal merely raised an eyebrow. The orange unicorn nonchalantly crossed his fore legs across his body.
"Really, nothing… not even a damn simper, will you cheer up! Crack a smile! Be happy! Stop being an oversized, mute, dumbass, and have some fun you bucking simpleton!"
Wisp peacefully intruded on Blaze's rage. "It really wasn't that funny dear. Maybe you should—"
"Shut up," Weasel chimed in. "Just shut up."
Blaze glared at Jackal despicably. "Say something, you sack of shit!"
Jackal kicked his own chair out from underneath him, then caught it midair with a hind leg. Afterwards, hurtling the wooden furniture abroad the table—sailing straight for the other unicorn. The chair disintegrated halfway over the table due to a small fireball from the opposing faction. Both parties leaped atop the table to engage in combat.
"Haha, you think you can take me Jackal? You don't know who you're up against! I'm an expert—no matter how big you are I will beat you!" He grasped his knife in mouth, and then proceeded gloating. "I'm gonna carve that smile if I have to!"
Jackal fiercely narrowed his eyes and came at the crazed mobster. Deflecting Blaze's stab and using his own weight against him, he grabbed Blaze's head and flipped him, shattering some plates of food. Charging up a beam of energy, Blaze clashed his horn with Jackal's. A struggle of endurance would decide the match.
Cryo astonishingly joined the confrontation. "You guys are so selfish! I want a piece of the action also! AHAHAHAHAHA!" the blue unicorn stallion proclaimed as he flung his horn into the fray.
"Stay out of this Cryo!" Blaze demanded while gritting his teeth.
"Oi, oi!" Bodhi shouted incessantly. "Suwatte kudasai, bakana!" The pale blue pegasus cursed the brawlers with all of his might. But ultimately came up short.
"Shut up chink! Nopony even said anything to you!" Blaze yelled as the glowing discharge of the horns grew brighter.
"Tch…" Bodhi sailed into the middle of the battle, landing on his fore legs. With a sharp snap of his wrists his lower half spiraled beastly. He connected with all three of the feuding gangsters, crushing them into the stone walls.
"What in the hoof is this?" Doll Face scowled as she berated the martial artists. She pushed the radio off of the stool it was preening on. Sparks and cracks emerged from the broken device, squelching every other sound in the room. Fear of the dead silence ironically disrupted Wonder Bread's seemingly endless slumber. The filly took a few deep, choleric breaths before continuing. "Is losing fun?" She asked as fast as lightning.
"What does that mean?" Blaze asked while scraping the rubble out of his mane.
"Is losing fun?" She repeated.
Dust, for no other reason than to be the center of attention, answered the best he could for the herd. "Well, isn't our learning from failures the whole point of jobs? I mean, having fun is what's important right? That's the reason half of these ponies are in this syndicate. That's one of the reasons I'm in it at least."
Arkane brushed Dust with a hoof. "No, it's not." He said as he stared back at Doll Face.
"Then why are you listening to music, fighting, and overall acting like idiots!" Doll broke the stool on the ground. With a frenzied scream the purple filly stormed out of the vestibule.
Wisp cantered in a crude oval around the dining table. "I feel awful." She pouted.
Blaze apathetically kicked some dirt from the floor. "What can we do? The boss is as pissed as a dragon that's had its horde stolen. I don't think we can do diddly-squat."
"He needs to get it together!" Arc Flash proclaimed. "What kind of captain has his warriors help him through a—midlife crisis? Oooo…" The yellow pegasus taunted as she waved her fore hooves.
Sol finally chimed in shyly. "Maybe he just… needs some fun."
"Sounds like a fantastic idea, glad I thought of it!" Dust exclaimed proudly.
"But you didn't—"
"Thanks to my brilliant intellect, I have designed a plan for our crestfallen godfather. The laws of this outfit are much too vindictive. He requires some loosening up. A night outside the Joke shop would do him good. Am I right? Or am I right?"
"You're a bloody ego." Loin heart chastised directly toward the pepper maned stallion. "What sort of idea do you have planned ya Muppet?"
"I'm glad you asked my inquisitive quadruped! First, we'll plan a surprise party for him out—"
"I've got an idea…" For the first time ever, Jackal said something. His voice was gravelly, and deep with a hint of sinister. Everypony bristled at the unicorn's pococurante tone.
Mister Moneybags bucked the door down and sprinted up to Jackal. Face-to-face Moneybags took off his sunglasses. "Jackal… you can talk?"
"Uh… yeah, why is that so unbelievable?"
"What the buck? Do you think this is some kind of sick joke? Think your thoughts are too good for us, is that it?"
"I never really had to until now…"
"No, no… shut up! You had to produce something with your vocal chords just so I could have a good time! Well my friend, I'm yours. We may be defying every single damn rule in the creed but who gives two changeling shits? Let's rock! What're we gonna do?"
"ROB A BANK!" Seal Soul roared. Everypony met this with clamorous claps of approval.
"RAPE SOME BITCHES!" Iris bellowed. This suggestion also received the same praise.
"GET HIGH!" Wonder Bread resounded, emerging from his sleep. The whole place was in a complete fracas.
"EAT CANDY!" Sol shouted above the noise. The cheering stopped instantly as everypony stared at the pegasus disappointedly, "OR NOT!" With that correction, the rooting returned within seconds.
Night Shade stomped her hooves on the hard ground. "Uh, hello, why do the guys get a night out? I think I represent all the mares when I say—give us a break!"
Moneybags smiled coolly and put his shades back on. "Well, you girls can do whatever you want… I'm not really sure what that is. But good luck."
The girls jumped giddily before running off.
Dante
Time: 2:00 AM
Location: Just outside the base
All of the stallions ran out of the Joke Shop excitedly. They cantered a couple meters before a deafening explosion sounded off in the store. Horrible, ravaging flames blew out of the windows. The infrastructure of the establishment was crumbling in on itself. Little did they know, that the concoction Quantum and Cackle were working on was dangerous. Unfortunately, the blast incinerated both Parallel Circuit and Iris.
"Bloody hay, I thought you said that poison was contained?" Loin Heart kicked some dirt as his horn grew brighter, directing it at the mad scientist.
"Ze author probably just vanted a quick vay to kill off some pointless OC's." Cackle replied.
"Wait, Iris might still be alive!" Dante rejoiced.
Iridescent Monochrome crawled out of the inferno in pain. "Hey guys, I think I'm gonna make it!" A murder of crows docked on the poor stallion and began fearsomely pecking his mangled body.
"Wait, wait, he might be able to live if we—"
Another detonation of fire shot Iris into the night sky, like a ragdoll he was at gravity's mercy. Funny, everypony had ceased the screaming and panicking to observe what would happen next. Their eyes followed him like a tennis ball.
"Maybe if he lands the right way…"
A dragon swooped in out of nowhere and swallowed Iris whole before flying away. With the beast's wings changing the wind current, the dragon retreated back into the space from which it came.
"Oooo…" The herd grimaced when they saw a small flare in the stars, dissipating into nothingness all at once.
"I think he's dead." Wonder Bread said bluntly.
"What… the… buck." Dante twitched.
Wonder Bread
Time: 2:30
Location: Runic Writings' crib
Priorities changed. Whatever was left of the Joke Shop died that night with Iris and Parallel Circuit. Jackal soothed the gang's heartbreaking loss of their base with corroborating evidence of another safe house. The store that Jackal had escorted them too reeked of ink. Girls' flanks being displayed on every billboard and poster, the accumulated graffiti soaked up the old building—hiding its true form from society. Through all the pictorials of sex and murder Wonder Bread found the name of this wretched foundation. "Ponyville Tattoo Parlor" spelt in blood red.
To Wonder Bread, the whispers being spread were very lousy, saddened ones. Whispers of how much they would miss the dank Joke Shop they had come to call home, like retarded children who had lost their favorite toy. Sleep was Wonder Bread's ultimate heaven, an escape from reality—though momentary—a trip into the dusty recesses of his own mind. Vacant of the corruption that had circumcised Equestria's politicians of their decency, He was free. Even his own clan, The Herd, had a traitor in the mix. Moneybags is a fool. Family, comrades, and lovers, all of them meaningless to both traitor and soldier alike… why? In Wonder Bread's alienated sense of righteousness nopony had any clue as to the depth of his character. And look at the herd now—they fought together, laughed together, and now groveled in the dirt together. Not one soul thinking for himself. All of them except for him and the traitor obsessed with the organization, obsessed with the plan, obsessed with the money, the worthless compulsion that enslaves them. And limits their individual capabilities, leading them to fear what they don't understand.
Dreams can't be designed, nor controlled.
"Yo Bread, are you spacing out on us again?" Dante chuckled.
Wonder Bread was sucked back to harsh reality, with a blink he straightened up. "Yeah bruh… sorry I'm real tired."
Seal Soul knocked him upside the head. "Man, ya got to keep your head under the clouds. Know what I'm saying?"
Door creaked open. Jackal informed the blue unicorn with a vibrant purple mane of their situation. Wonder Bread orderly moved himself into the line entering the tattoo parlor. As he came closer to the stranger he saw some runic writings (appropriately so) on the stallion's body, tarnishing his solid blue with mucky black.
Moneybags thanked the stranger, went upstairs with him for an hour or so. Parlor had workshop, upstairs living area, back room for restoration of books, and second door leading to an alleyway at the side. Everypony marveled at the tattoo options the stranger had in his abundant collection.
"Attention assholes," Mister Moneybags so carelessly announced. "Our new best friend Runic Writings has allowed us to rent this fine abode. We will be residing here for a while. I don't care what your feelings are toward that."
Wonder Bread wasn't sure how this place would hold up as a base of operations, or an abattoir. What with customers coming and going as they please.
The boss continued. "Just as I don't with this. Every one of you will be getting a free tattoo, tonight, Regardless if you want to or not!"
Some met this with fear, others exhilaration.
"Oh, and I decide what we're getting. Me, got it? Now let's see here." He quickly scanned the tattoos. "We will all get tribal tattoos, surrounding a different part of our body for each pony. I'll demonstrate."
Half an hour went by before Mister Moneybags returned from the back room. Tribal, swirling tattoos covering his forehead. Shades complementing the pattern on his visage with pizazz, he sat down in a comfy couch. "Next!"
This repeated for the next five hours. Sol received the same style of tats on his wings. Spoiling that simple white coat. Arkane on the horn, Dante: right foreleg, Seal: left foreleg, Cryo: muzzle, Bodhi: right hind leg, Lunar: left hind leg, Quantum: underbelly, Cackle: round the neck, Dust: back, Loin Heart: behind the ears, Jackal: head, Weasel: tongue and Wonder Bread: sides.
They symbolized a unit. They were a unit. For it was etched in their very skin.
Next time: You decide... answer the poll!
Rushed the ending sorry. Leave a comment you crazy bucks! Don't know when the next chapter will be out but remember. Quality is better than quantity! Peace ya'll.
