A/N: This is a great example of a commision chapter anyone can submit. All credit goes to Joshabi. I just polished it up a little. Anyone can do this! Just pm me.
The Herd Commission Chapter: Joshabi
A/N: Eh, I didn't do my homework for this chapter. Moneybags SHOULD have done the proof-reading for things like colors, but no skin off my back if he hasn't. Also, I used these two because they're easiest to find and I didn't want to do too much back-reading. Ah well, who cares. Read and enjoy.
We're In Debt
"I bet ya can't shoot it through the ceiling."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah,"
Dante fired an arrow straight up at the ceiling, making it white hot as it flew. It pierced straight through, earning a violent swear from upstairs.
"Haha, nice one dumbass, that's Runic's bedroom!"
Dante turned to confront Dust, who had fallen over on the floor laughing. "You little bastard, I'll screw you up-"
"Which one of you bastards just set my bed on fire?"
Dante and Dust turned to the yelling Runic, before Dust burst out laughing again. Runic smashed a bottle of luminous pink dye over his head.
"SHUT UP!"
Dante gaped at the raving tattooist. Dust opened his eyes for a second before emitting a high pitched whine and shutting them tight again.
"Listening now? Yes? Good. I'm pissed off with you lot being stupid. Since you two just set my bed on fire you can take the brunt of this – you've got three month's rent overdue. I want it from you two by the end of the week or you'll end up pink and turquoise, you get me?"
"But it's Thursday!" yelled Dante. "And why do I have to listen to you anyway?"
"Hot pink and luminous turquoise," said Runic blankly, grabbing a fire extinguisher from the wall. "And I expect money for a new bed and the ink you just wasted too."
"I can't see!"
Dante looked over at Dust, who was wandering around blindly.
"Wash out with pure water if comes into contact with eyes, do not attempt to distil or sniff." Runic added, walking up the stairs. "Do not use on sensitive skin."
"Are you sure this is a good idea?"
"Certain. The owner's a bimbo and loaded but can't stand anything unfashionable, so you distract her while I grab the money from the register."
"And you're SURE she'll be able to find a way to get this dye out of my coat and mane?"
"Suuuure she will." Dante pushed Dust forward towards the door of the shop. "Now get in there and do your part!"
"Right, right I'm goin' I'm goin'!" Dust opened the door to the shop, making the bell ring. "Hello, anyone here?"
"Ah, yes, back here. Welcome to Carousel Boutique where everything is sleek, chick, and GAAAASP!" Rarity staggered back from Dust as she looked around the corner.
"Sweet Celestia what's happened to you my dear!"
"What deer? There aren't any deer in here." Dust turned around to look at the door.
Rarity grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and pulled him towards the back of the shop. "Not deer look at your poor mane! It looks dreadful!"
"What, this… Nah, it's fine, I just need to get a suit."
"I can't just let you walk out with a suit if you look like that! I'd never live it down, and you can't wear a suit if you have that horrendous combination of colors! I'll fix that, and then we can sort out your suit."
Dante peeked into the front of the shop. "Nopony's about. Perfect." He quietly pushed open the door, making the bell ring quietly. The black and red unicorn carefully walked over to the till and flicked it open. It was packed with notes and coins. He grinned. "Hah, not even a safe. I'm gonna be walking away from this-"
"Hey mister," greeted Sweetie Belle in a cracked voice. "Are you looking for something special?"
Dante looked up from where he had been shoving money into a saddlebag, seeing that there was a little white filly standing by the stairs. "What are you doing?"
"Oh, what am I doing? I'm uh... checking if the register works!" he articulated while pushing the draw shut and flinging it open again several times. "See! This one's fine!"
"Oh! So do you only check registers or can you do other stuff too?" the filly ran up to Dante and put her hooves on the counter.
"No, uh, I check tons of other things too, like... Toasters! And clocks! And some other stuff!"
"Oh," the little girl looked slightly disappointed. "Can you show me?"
"No, I've... got to go on a journey, a long journey!" Dante replied, nodding furiously and heading towards the door. "I'm on a voyage… to the moon!"
"Really, you're going to the moon?"
"Uh-huh, it should be life-threatening!"
"Oh..." The little filly stared down at the ground for a few seconds, allowing Dante ever closer to the door. "Can I come with you?"
"What? No!" Dante stopped abruptly as his small adversary cantered in front of him. "No way in tartarus!"
"Please! It'd be so awesome! And then maybe I'd get a being-on-the-moon Cutie Mark! I'm Sweetie Belle by the way, what's your name?"
"I'm Dante. I mean Welder, Welder!"
"That's a weird name." Sweetie Belle looked around at Dante's flank, but he covered it. "What's your cutie mark?"
"My name's not weird, your name's weird!" Dante retorted.
Sweetie Belle scowled. "It is not!"
"It is too!"
"It is not!"
"It is too!"
"It is too!"
"It is not!"
"See, I'm right!"
"Yeah, bu-"
In the brief moment that his ploy had bought him, Dante ran to the door and had flung it open."Gottogotothemoonseeyoubye!"
Sweetie Belle was left standing confused in the middle of the boutique, frowning. "That doesn't make any sense? How can someone be called Welder?"
"Well, I don't know how you did it, nor do I particularly want to know how you did it, but you did it."
Runic shifted the money Dante had piled onto his table around into groups. "You got three months' rent for the entirety of the Herd right here, very impressive."
Dante watched as his precious money was reduced into smaller and smaller amounts.
"And you've even made a profit of... thirty bits!"
Dante gaped. "You've got to be fucking with me!"
"Well there's food, accommodation, heating, appliances, services – oh no, wait, I forgot shipping and handling for the bed, that makes it nineteen bits."
"But there was tons of money there!"
"And you owed a ton of rent."
Dante groaned and smacked his head on the table. Runic smiled and began bundling the money together.
Dust barged through the door, "DANTE YOU BASTARD!"
Runic looked up. Dust still had his luminous pink head and mane, and had curlers in. Cyro was standing by the door sniggering.
"YOU TOTALLY SET ME UP!"
Dante looked up. Runic chortled at Dust quietly. "Whaddya mean I set you up?"
"That bitch tried everything! She scrubbed, she dyed, she washed – TWICE, no less! – and she still didn't get the damn dye out."
"I thought something smelled of lavender." Runic smirked. "You know, you could always get his to pay for ME to re-dye it what it should be."
"You- Yeah, yeah I'll do that." Dust said quietly. "How much to get the coat dyed?"
"Well, with the permanency, two colors, size large, and Herd discount, I'd say... thirty bits." Runic smirked at Dante as the gangster hit his head on the table.
"Why me?"
End
As you can see, it's short, straight, and to the point. It has no effect on the main plotline (it's just for fun). This takes place BEFORE Dante's death everypony! Remember you guys can submit art, chapters, anything ya'll want! Thank Joshabi. GIMME PICTURES!
