DISCLAIMER: Hum? Uh, let me check... nope still don't own Homestuck. (( AND I RECOMMEND READING THIS CHAPTER WITH GREEN DAY WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS - DOOO EEEEETTTTT...


== Be the other Strider


You cannot be the other Strider because the other Strider is currently in a Wal-Mart supply closet having sloppy-makeouts with his fiancé. And the authoress wants to be merciful to her male audience.


== Go back to being Dave


You cannot be Dave either because Dave is on strike for this chapter.


== Be the pissed off island girl outside of the Wal-Mart


You let out a string of grumbles and rather silly profanities as you sit on the bench outside of a certain Wal-Mart. You check your watch.

It is exactly 1:30 pm.

You pout. This would take far too long; you needed something to busy yourself with. Like... like getting past these persistent security cameras and back to your friends (who were surely up to various fun shenanigans without you there!)

An idea pops into your headstand and head through the doors casually, if this didn't work you could always kick security's asses – however, this was a final last ditch effort. For you would never resort to needless violence!

… Today.

You were in a good mood today.

But even that wouldn't last long if you were forced to endure this level of boredom for more than a second longer. With that in mind you begin to chew a rather large wad of chewing gum. Taking a rubber band off of your wrist (this is Texas in the summer after all, you would be crazy to go without being armed with a proper hair tie! ESPECIALLY with long, messy hair such as yours) you begin to stretch it out as you feel the gum is of correct amount of stickiness.

You take the gum from your mouth and position yourself in the entrance security camera's blind spot. Setting the gum in path of the rubber band you proceed to aim and fire.

The wad of gum hits its mark straight on and the lenses are properly hidden from immediate sight.

People stare as you do a little victory dance before skipping off to the furniture isle, the unspoken meeting place your friends had decided on.

"Jade!"

"Hey Harley, weren't you like kicked out or some shit?"

You smile brightly as John and Jane coddle you on the couch, "I snuck back in of course! I couldn't let you guys have fun without me!"

"I see… how may I ask did you sneak back in?" Rose asks putting a inquisitive hand under her chin.

"Easy! I just covered the security camera with gum." You state proudly, "Security doesn't even know I'm back."

"Well iz good ta have you back Jadey." Says Rose's mom with a fox's grin, you smile wickedly right back.

"It's great to be back." You look around curiously, noticing a significant lack of arms coddling you. "Say, where's Jake… and Bro?"

Dave looks around, "… Now that you mention it, I haven't seen either of them since we all split to avoid security when they found us building a GI Joe vs. X-Men battlefield in the toy isle. " You frown, you must have missed some fun and interesting shenanigans…

John shrugs, "They'll probably show up I'm sure."

"Yeah, I guess."

There is a long stretched silence as they stare at one and other. The sexual frustration between your two friends (is that the word for it? That's what Rose calls these moments…) in the air suffocates you.

"Um… so what did I miss?" you ask, breaking the ice.

"We did numbers eleven, twelve, and we just finished thirteen." Answers Rose, ever the helpful friend she is – you are so lucky to have such wonderful friends!

"What was number thirteen?"

"Similar to the one that got you kicked out, 'Hide in a clothes circle. When someone with a shopping cart goes by stick your hand out and steal something from them.' Jane did this one, she had a lot of fun with this, it took fifteen frightened shoppers for security to be called."

"Awwww…." You whine. You can't believe you missed such amazing shenanigans! Blasphemy! Blasphemy to the Pranking Gods everywhere!

"Yes, yes, we missed you too Jade!" says John patting you on the shoulder.

Still a bit bummed out you let out a sigh, "So what's next on the list?"

John flips open his cell and skims down, "Um… Oh! 14. Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice."

A grin spreads across your face, this, this was your forte. You could do this. This. Was. Your. Moment. Now was your –

Buzz… Buzz…

Oh Jegus…! Who was pestering you?

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] -

CG: HARLEY.

CG: ATTENTION HARLEY. THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING. FOR FUCKS SAKE HARLEY, I CAN SEE YOU. ARE YOU GOING TO BE LIKE STRIDER AND BE A JACKASS ABOUT ALL THIS? I'M SURE THE ASSHOLE FORGOT TO TELL YOU GUYS THE HORRIBLE NEWS.

CG: HARLEY.

GG: what?

GG: im busy! i am about to have my moment of truth,

GG: dont ruin it with your crabbiness!

CG: FUCK HARLEY, I AM TRYING TO WARN YOU OF YOUR IMMPENDING HELL.

CG: NEPETA DISAPPEARED SOMEPLACE, AND EQUIUS RAN OFF AFTER HER. TEREZI IS SOMEWHERE WITH VIRSKA BUT FUCK IF I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THOSE TWO ARE UP TO.

GG: romantic wise?

CG: NO. NO DAMN IT! DONT PUT THE IMAGE OF THEM HATE SLOGGING INTO MY HEAD. JUST. DONT. DO. IT. NOW WE ARE GOING TO TAKE THAT BEHIND THAT PRETTY LITTLE SHED OVER THERE – YOU SEE THAT SHED HARLEY? - AND WE ARE GOING TO PROCEED TO SHOOT THAT THOUGHT IN THE HEAD.

CG: WHY?

CG: BECAUSE ITS STUPID AS FUCK!

GG: wow, someone's crabby today…

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK IT. BE PREPARED TO SEE NEPETA AND EQUIUS SOON, ALL HELLS ABOUT TO BREAK LOOSE.

CG: HAVE FUN.

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gardenGnostic [GG] -

You suddenly understood jackshit…

"Jade? Are you alright? Who pestered you?" asked John raising an eyebrow.

You smile and shake your head, KK could wait; now was your moment of truth! "I'll do number fourteen!"

"Really? You can play guitar Jade?"

"Of course I can!" you answer, really, what kind of a Harley would you be if you couldn't?

You proceed to walk to the front of the store and captchalogue your trusty guitar from your sylladex. You sit down cross legged and position your hands correctly before clearing your throat, people are looking now, starting to slow to a stop. You draw in a breath…

"SUMMER HAS COME AND PAST THE INNOCENT CAN NEEEEEVER LAAAAST! WWWWAAAAKKKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEE~~EEMBER ENDS!" you screech as you sway back and forth, "LIKE MY FATHERS! COME TO PASS~~~! SEVEN YEARS! HAVE GONE TO PASS~~! WAKE ME UP – !"

Oh no! It's Security!

But they won't catch you this time! Scrambling to your feet, you do what you do best and Lass Scamper the heck out of there! … Unfortunately you bump into a wall…

Whoa… the world is spinning… hahaha… you say hello to the mating squiddles floating around your head as your eyes spin and the world tilts. Suddenly you're scooped up of the ground and you're moving again.

"Jake?"

"Hello Jade!" you take notice of his uncharacteristic ruffled demeanor and shake your head of the squiddles.

"Where'd you run off to?"

Jake doesn't answer as he looks away from your suspicious gaze with a nervous laugh. Hummm… you'd have to pry it out of your paradox, would be, grandson/grandpa later. Preferably when your head settles.

But first!

"Thanks Jake."

"It's no trouble Jade!" he replies with a grin, "Oh, and by the way, golly good Lass Scamper there Jade!


A/N: Yes. Yes I was totally trollin' you guys in this chapter. You mad Bro~~?

But don't worry, Dave will be back again next chapter. :3

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Remember to Review.

((EDIT: THERE. FIXED. 38D What is fixed you asked? Edgbert's - ahem EGBERT'S name of course 38D... I wonder what made me think "Edge" for seven chapters... D=... but seriously Bros, tell me when I misspell crap like that, I'm still new to the fandom lol XD... In fact, I'm currently rereading Act 5 cause, apparently, I missed a lot of weird plot shit. :3. Note to self: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T SKIP THE PESTERLOGS!))