DISCLAIMER: Considering the webcomic was MAGICALLY =D updated while I was on vacation… nope. Still don't own Homestuck.
== DAVE: Roleplay with Kitty-Troll
"Now Nepeta… we are going to ask you again – and please for the love of Gog give us a straight answer – how did you get here?"
"AC spots a butterfly fluttering through the air, she crouches, preparing to pounce… She looks to her companions and sticks out her tongue in a teasing manner, I have my ways, she says." (Do you even need to describe that? She damn well told the lot of you what she did. No. Fuck it, you are not repeating that shit.)
Jade's eye gives a twitch; she stands from her place where she had been crouching in front of the chair and walks over to a nearby continently placed pillar, "GRRRAAAAGH!" English yanks her back just in time.
"Whoa Jade! Don't get your knickers all in a twist lass!"
"AAAUUGH!"
"John, do help me out here?"
"Jade…"
"GRRRAAAAGH!"
"Jade…"
This cycle had been going on for thirty minutes. Thirty-mOtHeRfUcKiNg-minutes of your life. Wasted.
"Nepeta."
"AC refuses to answer you unless you roleplay with her."
You lip nearly twitches into a snarl but you take a deep breath. "TG asks why the hell the stupid ass kitty-troll is in a human Wal-Mart."
"AC inquires as to what a Wal-Mart is, tail twitching curiously. And she is also not stupid. She is a purrfect specimen of a troll."
"TG answers that it is like a place, that has everything, and humans buy their shit from said place. And yes. AC is very stupid. She is the weirdest troll out of the twelve, besides her creepy ass palemate-alien-brofriend who gets off on getting ordered around."
"AC hisses at the stupid TG human. Why is he such a insufferable prick?"
"TG rolls his eyes, 'I've always been an insufferable prick, it' in my nature.' He says with soul-crushing sarcasm."
"AC's whisker's twitch as her eyes sparkle with mischief, 'You aren't one to your matesprit.' She says as her soul remains intact."
"TG answers that he is but does so in a slightly more bearable fashion."
"AC scrunches up her nose in confusion but shrugs it off. She states that aliens sure are werid.
"TG answers with a 'ditto'." Jegus, this was pointless… "TG again inquires how AC got here."
"AC replies, 'It is veeerrry simple~! I used the transporter in your Lusus' hive and walked over!'"
"TG fucking gives up on understanding how that technology works."
"AC gave up long ago~!"
"… Are you two done?" Rose interrupts to your relief.
"Hehe! Yes, yes, I'm done. That was fun, we should role play again sometime Dave!"
"No."
Little idiot troll gives you a pout, "You're no fun…"
"Damn straight."
"So! I just have to hunt –"
"Stalk." Rose cut in.
" – stalk a random adult human right~?" cue weird-ass ":3" face here.
"Yeah, that's what the list says…" Jade says, face muffled by the shaggy orange 80s hippy rug (fuck if you know why,you decide to just go with it) she was being pinned against by Jake and Jane. "And I'm calm already, Jegus! Let me up...!"
"Are you sure you're okay now…?" said Egbert cautiously as he crouched down next to her.
"Yes, damn it John, I'm fiiiiiinnnnnne~~~~!" she whined, squirming. A nod was given between the three and Harley's arms and legs were released. "Damn trolls…" she grumbles under her breath rubbing her sore wrists.
"I'm off, oh! This is going to be pawsitively~ the most fun roleplay yet!"
Jegus… You had a bad feeling about all this.
She skipped off toward and unsuspecting old lady and stopped a few feet away from her. Then, she just stared. And stared. And stared…. Until finally the old woman gave her a weird look ("Kids these days… dressin' like demons…) and walked off towards the dairy isle.
Nepeta followed.
"AC stalks her prey with shocking preciseness – nose twitching in tune with her tail."
"… Uh…"
"AC's backside raises in the air as she prepares to pounce, her prey will never see it coming, yet she can smell the fear."
"LINUS! LINUS! A STRANGE DEMON'S FOLLOWIN' ME! LINUS! SHE'S GONNA EAT ME! LINUUUUSSSS!"
"SHUT UP MA! TAKE YER MEDS!"
"I DON'T NEED MY MEDS! THEY MAKE EVERYTHING ALL GRAY! I DON'T LIKE 'EM THEY'RE THE WORK OF THE DEVIL IS WHAT THEY ARE!"
A typical redneck in his mid-twenties or so walks over to the scene, red-faced in anger, "CONSON IT MA! SHUT YER MOUTH AND TAKE YER FUCKING MEDS!"
"AC eases out of her crouching position in confusion at the unexpected turn, two to one – how would she claim her prey now…? What could she – agh!" Nepeta yelped as she was lifted by the back of her oversized jacket and brought over to where you and your friends were hiding behind the wall.
"Nepeta…"
"HIIIIIISSSSSSSSS!"
Oh. That creepy robot-horse-furry-loving dude.
"Nepeta, what did I tell you about engaging in such activities you are above such things – … Please stop biting my arm, if I happen to flex you will break all of your teeth."
"HIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSS!"
"Nepeta…"
This exchange goes on for quite a while – you aren't sure for how long exactly but it's pretty damn long considering that it was previously sunset and now it's dark outside…
Finally (thank Gog) Equius tosses her over his shoulder and gives us all a blank look, "I am sorry about my moirail, she came here without my consent."
"No trouble, it was about time for us all to take our leave anyway… besides, it was rather fun." Rose states with a smirk, "I guess we'll all go home together."
"… Is that an order?"
You decide to cut in, Jegus what was up with this guy? "Yeah sure, whatever floats your boat." You grimace as he begins to sweat profeesly.
Fucking weird-ass Trolls…
A/N: =) I'm back from St. Louis. I typed this on the ride back – didn't have the list so I had to make due lol… Anyway, yeah. Next chapter is an Intermission type of thing. (Oh no… D=… the crappy plotline the authoress mentioned earlier…) Just a heads up. We get to see Davey analyze his feelings some more! =DDD… Yay! 38D
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