Author's note: I have friends who like Kuroko no Basuke. These people are who I consider my "cool" friends. I also have friends who hate Kuroko no Basuke; I call them "dickheads".

This one time, this guy said to me, "I can't watch shows about homosexual sportsmen."

I asked him how the hell he sat through Prince of Tennis. He had nothing to say to that.

But then he had something else to say: "I can't watch a show where they name the characters after colours on a rainbow."

I said, "Screw you, black's not a colour, it's a shade."

This guy tells me I should watch the new Lupin anime because it's super artsy and there's a naked girl in it all the time. Apparently, this one hundred per cent guarantees my viewing attention.

Naked chicks or gay basketballers… tough choice.

But in the end, I made my decision:

Kuroko and the Vampire of Shinjuku
Chapter seven: It's okay to be gay

It was Aomine.

This, of course, made absolutely no sense to Kuroko. First of all, the Aomine in front of him had a fashion sense that was more hideous than Kid's, and this said a lot. The puffy-sleeved pink shirt was very, very last century. Secondly, Kuroko was pretty sure that Aomine did not have sharp fangs, nor did he speak like a seventeenth century disciplinarian. How did Aomine even know what the word 'benevolent' even meant?

But there he was, Kuroko's old friend, dusting himself off and peering down at Kuroko with undeniable smugness.

"Are you surprised, mortal?" he asked, smirking.

Kuroko stared at him blankly.

Then, finally, he came up with his feedback.

"Wow, you've changed."

Yes, he certainly had.

"I know that you've stopped playing basketball out of fun," Kuroko went on in monotone, "but isn't this a little bit extreme, Aomine-kun?"

At this point, I should mention that BO has shape-shifting powers and at this precise moment in time, the real Daichi Aomine was snoring blithely in his bed. BO was the very antithesis of Aomine; Kuroko had no way of knowing this, but it really did not take a genius to make a wild guess at it.

BO actually had what he thought was a very good reason for taking Aomine's form. Like Katou and many other vampires, he wanted the luxury of being able to bite humans at his leisure, not restricted by Kid's new moon law. In this way, he would get what he wanted and, at the same time, it was the ultimate punishment for Kuroko for killing Katou.

And, of course, there was only one way for a vampire to possess a human's body.

"Let us fornicate," said BO-who-was-Aomine.

"I didn't know you swung that way."

"I need you," said BO-who-was-Aomine.

Kuroko was starting to feel a little bit disturbed.

"Aomine-kun," he said, somewhat sternly. "If you are that starved for companionship, I suggest you go to a bar filled with like-minded individuals."

"You are the most frustratingly obtuse human I have encountered in centuries," said BO exasperatedly. "I thought you and Daichi Aomine are friends."

From Kuroko's realm of experience, friends did not do what BO seemed to want to do. There were certain terms for these kinds of friends, but none of them described his relationship with Aomine. From his reclusive life in hiding, BO appeared to have acquired very strange views on relationships.

Kuroko was about to point this out when the scowling BO-who-was-Aomine said, "This is difficult. It only works if it's consensual."

Kuroko thought about this. Okay, so BO had turned into someone he knew in an attempt to appeal to his carnal desires. Fair enough, from a certain point of view. But why pick a guy? Kuroko supposed it was because he hadn't shown much interest in Katou. (What did she even look like? Kuroko could not even remember anymore.)

Okay. So that was where the misunderstanding arose from.

"Excuse me, BO-san," he said politely. "I feel like I should clarify my position on this."

"Go ahead," said BO with a sigh.

There was a short pause.

"The truth is," Kuroko said finally, "I am asexual."


Before we progress with the story, allow me to fill you in with a brief discussion on sexuality.

It's okay to be gay. That being said, most humans would consider themselves heterosexual; that is, they would rather reproduce with a member of the opposite gender. This is, biologically speaking, quite necessary for the survival of the human race. Humans are not like plants and bacteria that can split their cells up and essentially clone themselves. Kuroko may be capable of full-court passes but he is not capable of impregnating himself.

This is why BO's response to Kuroko's declarative statement was a short, flat, "No."

"I am not interested in anyone right now," Kuroko said nonchalantly.

"Are you interested in this?" BO asked, and before Kuroko's eyes his body shape morphed and twisted until it had turned into Kagami.

Only he was naked except for a yellow bikini.

"Where's the brain bleach?" was Kuroko's reaction.

BO scowled.

"Well, now I'm out of ideas," he said. Helpfully, he turned back into Aomine. Once he was in that form he sat down on his coffin, frowned and rubbed his forehead as if that would aid his imagination any better.

Kuroko did not think BO's imagination needed any aiding. On the other hand, seeing the vampire look so downhearted made him feel kind of sorry for him.

"So tell me," BO said with a sigh. "What sort of person would be your ideal lover?"

Seeing no harm in responding, Kuroko thought for a moment and said, "She'd be female for a start."

"Go on."

"She would be resilient and have a strong sense of courage and what is right."

BO growled. For one vivid moment, his expression actually fit Aomine's face perfectly. "All you did was list personality traits!"

"It's what's on the inside that counts," Kuroko pointed out.

"You are making it extremely hard for me to seduce you."

"I'm sorry." (He was not sorry in the slightest.)

"It's not okay," said BO.

They were both silently for a moment, having run out of things to say. For a climactic showdown between vampire and mortal, it was rather awkward. Kuroko yawned and rubbed his nose.

"Well, I guess I'll have to give up on possessing you," BO said finally. He was unable to conceal his disappointment. "It was a shame. With you I would have kept most of my vampire powers. If I possess the other boy, I'll have nothing left."

Kuroko took this to mean that this affinity for shadow he possessed, something which Katou and Kid had both commented on, was the reason why the vampires took an interest in him. It felt like a relief in a way to know exactly why that was the case.

"Listen well, Tetsuya Kuroko," BO told him, sitting up straight and peering down at him intently. "To vampire folk, you are desirable for pragmatic reasons, you along with many other people who seem so average and are hard to notice." He explained to Kuroko the truth behind the Vampire of Shinjuku story and waited until Kuroko had appeared to process all the information with a nod. Then he went on. "I bit you once, child. We all did. But that is something you no longer remember."

Kuroko blinked.

"Like all those we feasted on, we erased your memory," BO continued. "Kid made sure of that."

If Kuroko remembered carefully, he could have sworn he perceived the shadows shifting that day in Shinjuku… was that when the incident had happened? That day…

"Oh, I see," BO said, chuckling sardonically. "I see you might remember something after all."

Very, very slowly, Kuroko's expression shifted from utter blankness to utter horror.


He was eight or nine back then. It actually happened in relative daylight. He was playing quietly by himself in the park and his mother was watching him. Then Kid came along, and of course, no one could be suspicious of him when he was dressed like an actual child. He asked Kuroko to play with him…

… and taking him by the hand, he took Kuroko away into some place he did not know.

In the dark, Kuroko found himself stricken. He did not have the energy to move. What had at first seemed like mere shadows to his vision simply piled themselves on top of him all at once. They moved quickly, teeth glinting, their fangs digging viciously into his exposed skin. He wondered why he could not remember any of that, because he was certain he could never have forgotten the overwhelming pain of being bitten. Mostly, he found himself recalling the golden-eyed and merciless gazes of his assailants, how they fell upon him without any hint of remorse and greedily lapped up all the blood they could take from him. By the end, he felt faint and light-headed, for he had lost a lot of blood, and all he could do was stare listlessly at the ceiling with eyes that were dull and glassy. Kid carried him back to his mother.

Now Kuroko could remember that after that incident, he had not wanted to come out of his room. He was frightened by the very notion of light. He wanted to stay inside in the shadows because there, somehow, it felt safe. At that time, he could not recall why he was so afraid of the outdoors, but the fear was very real.

At first, his parents tolerated this. But as time went by and Kuroko became paler and frailer and more reclusive, they started to worry.

"He is too young," he heard them say to each other in hushed, worried tones, when they thought he was not listening. "This shouldn't be happening to him."

Perhaps Kuroko would have stayed like that his entire life, wasting away inside of his room without any real notion of light. But then his mother did something that, on retrospect, probably saved his life.

She gave him a basketball.

"This is a game that you can only play in the light," she explained to him. "Light is not a bad thing, Tetsuya. Without light, there can be no shadow. So do not be afraid of it, Tetsuya. Basketball is a very fun game."

Gradually, very gradually, and out of love for the game, Kuroko eased himself back into the light.

Unfortunately, all those years he had spent as a recluse had taken their toll on him, and when Kuroko entered Teikou middle school's basketball club, he did so as one of the worst players. His arm strength would never be as strong as the Generation of Miracles. But to him, it did not matter with the type of basketball he ended up playing.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Now, Kuroko gazed at BO and frowned, not out of resentment for what the vampires had done to him in particular, but at the thought that what had happened to him was not an isolated incident. So many young boys had had their lives ruined by the vampires. There may not have been any deaths, but it was the worst kind of bullying imaginable.

"Surprised I'm evil?" BO asked with a wolfish grin. (It was such an Aomine-ish grin – Kuroko had to remind himself that this was not his friend that he was really looking at.) "Haha! You shouldn't be so shocked. Of course I'm evil – I'm a vampire."

"What do you plan to do with Kagami-kun and Riko-san?" Kuroko asked firmly. He asked this politely enough but he was frowning.

"We plan to turn the girl into a vampire right in front of your eyes."

Kuroko thought about the message in blood that the vampires had written. Was this what they were referring to, about not seeing Aida alive again? Certainly being a vampire was like being among the undead.

"Terrible, isn't it?" BO said gleefully.

"I will stop you," said Kuroko.

BO burst out laughing.

"And how are you going to do that?" he asked. "Your weapons killed nobody, just so you know. Alfred and Fabio only played at being dead. You can't slay any vampires!"

Kuroko was silent. He watched as BO strode across the room, that triumphant look pasted across his face. He had almost reached the door, where Kagami and Aida probably were, when he turned back around with a flourish and faced Kuroko directly.

"Even if I don't get to possess you, I still win!" BO went on. He was working himself into a state of giddiness. "I love winning."

Kuroko let the silence between them open up before he responded. When he did speak up, it felt as if all the air was being drained out of the atmosphere and poured directly into the space between him and the vampire.

"I like winning too," he said quietly.

But BO grinned and bared his teeth, as if shredding apart all the resolve.

"Well, too bad, you lost the game!"

"No, I haven't," said Kuroko stonily.

By his side, his fingers twitched. BO noted the subtle movement and frowned.

"Yes, you have," he insisted, starting to get a little upset now by how stubborn Kuroko was being.

And that was when, inwardly, Kuroko smiled. He had a plan.


Next chapter: The climactic battle. This is also the penultimate chapter, by the way, so only one more chapter after that and we're done with Kuroko and the Vampire of Shinjuku. Whoa!