Title: How to Catch 'Straight' a Guy
Genre: Romance/ Humor
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I no own
Note: This fic is AU, has OOC, Yaoi, Yuri, and some odd couples. Pairings include: 1x2, 3x4, 5xR and various others. If you are uncomfortable with any of those this is not the fic for you.
Summary: I'm Duo Maxwell, an all in all sexy beast. Just about every girl wants me. Unfortunately for them I'm as straight as the letter 'S'. And unfortunatly for me I just so happen to be crushing on the straightest guy in school.
STEP IV: Confront Him
I grinned at Hilde, she and I were sitting across from each other at the kitchen table.
"The 'rents won't let you go to this party Duo," Hilde answered, because we both knew the truth.
"Ah, but that is why I don't mention the party my beloved baby sister." I answered calmly, even though I hated lying.
"What party are you guys talking about?" Noin asked from the kitchen, she was home for once, and was cooking dinner.
"The one over at the Peacecrafts," Hilde answered.
Noin looked over at us and nodded, "I can take you if you're going Duo." She said calmly while stirring the spaghetti.
I could feel my face brighten up, "Really?"
My older sister nodded nonchalantly, "Sure, on one condition."
I immediately gave her a suspicious look, "And what would that be?"
"You know Relena Peacecraft, right?" Noin asked, not even bothering to look over at the table where Hilde and I sat.
"So?"
"Introduce me to her brother."
I blinked. That was it? "Sure, I could do that, no problem."
Hilde looked over at Noin, "Why do you want to meet Relena's older brother?"
Noin's ears turned red, "Haven't you ever heard of Zech's Marquis?"
Hilde perked up in her seat, "As in the famous romance novelist?"
Noin nodded, "Yeah, well, that's his alias. His real name is actually Miliardo Peacecraft."
Hilde gasped, "Oh my gosh!" She then turned to look at me, "DUO! You have to get me an autograph!"
Needless to say I was lost and confused beyond all hell, but I nodded nonetheless.
Friday came by quickly. Wufei, Quatre, and I made our way to my house almost immediately after school. We didn't even bother to watch the football team practice.
We each had our lies all in place. My parents were going out of town for the weekend to visit some of their old college friends, which left Noin in charge of the house.
Hilde was sleeping over at her friend's house for the weekend while Wu and Q were staying with me. As for Noin? I had no clue; she could do whatever she wanted.
"Merian's going to be at the party as well," Wufei groaned. We were in the living room watching some random movie that was on TV.
"Why?" I asked, not really caring all that much but I felt the need to make conversation.
"She and Relena are close friends. She's going to be sleeping over at Relena's house tonight actually." He frowned and crossed his arms.
"Isn't she the cousin who's a lesbian or something?" I pondered, knowing that he had mentioned something like that just the year prior.
"Shut up," Wufei muttered.
Quatre laughed, "Oh well, no private time for you and Relena. Hopefully your cousin won't steal your new girlfriend."
Wufei rolled his eyes and we continued to watch the movie, eventually the three of us began to doze off.
I woke up to someone poking my face, and through half lidded eyes I could see it was Wufei.
"Hm?" I asked him while sitting up a bit.
"You passed out on my legs, and now I can't feel them." He hissed.
I sat up all the way and noticed Quatre asleep on the other side of the couch, curled into a fetal position.
I rubbed my eyes and looked over at the time on the cable box, 7:50 showed in green.
"Time to get up and start getting ready anyways," I muttered while standing and stretching, "I'll take a shower first, that'll give you time to regain blood flow into your legs." I grinned at Wufei before going over to my room and getting what I needed.
I see it like this: at a party you have to look good. Hell, in my opinion you always have to dress good. Quatre and I have a motto: "You should always look your best because you never know who you'll run into".
I took my shower as quickly as I could, blow drying my hair afterward and placed it into its usual braid before putting on some dark denim jeans and a black long sleeved shirt with cool silver cross and skull designs all over the right shoulder and right side of my chest. I topped it off with thick socks, and my black Jordans.
By the time I was done it was nearly 8:20, Wufei was waiting for me impatiently before taking his turn in the shower. Quatre was still unconscious on the couch. I guess Wufei didn't have the heart to wake him.
"Quat, wake up man." I shook him a bit.
His aquamarine eyes fluttered open, "What time is it?"
"Eight thirty, Wu should be done with his shower soon." I said in a soft voice, a sleepy Quatre always reminded me of a puppy.
Quatre took in a deep breath, "Ok."
Wufei came out at 8:45 and Quatre almost immediately rushed in.
By the time 9:30 came around the three of us were dressed, fed, and waiting on my sister to show up so that she could take us. We played video games for a bit before getting bored of that and just lounging on the couch.
Noin came home from work around ten at night, by this time the three of us were finishing our homework.
She nodded at us, "Good, you guys are ready. Let me just take a shower and change."
The drive to Relena's home was short since she barely lived fifteen mintues away by foot. There were cars parked up and down the block, and we had to go almost two streets over in order to park. Even then finding a space was a mission.
"All of these people are here for Milliardo's party?" Quatre asked in awe.
"Looks that way," Wufei muttered.
Noin parked, instructing us to leave our jackets in the car just in case we lost them in the house. We walked the two blocks quickly.
"If anything happens, we meet at the car, got it?" Noin asked before we reached the open door to the house.
The three of us nodded.
The party was in full swing by the time we got there, people were swarming the place. The air had a smoky hue to it, music was blasting from somewhere, and drinks were everywhere.
"Wufei!" Relena's voice cut through the crowd, the loudest of the bunch. The small blonde girl made her way to us, Merian trailing behind her.
Noin seemed have vanished the moment she stepped through the foyer.
"Do you guys want to come upstairs with us?" Relena asked, practically yelling it over the music. I was surprised that the neighbors hadn't called the cops yet.
Wufei and Quatre nodded. I scanned the crowed, anxious to find Heero, but at the same time I didn't want to get swallowed whole by the sea of people.
"Sounds like a plan!" I yelled back at Relena.
Relena grabbed Merian's hand, who grabbed her cousin, who grabbed Quatre, who took a hold of me. In line formation we made our way to the stairs, there were baby gates there, basically preventing anyone from going to the second landing. It wouldn't come as a shock if all of the doors upstairs were locked as well, just in case.
The moment we made it to the stairway we let go of each other and followed Relena.
Upstairs there was another living room, with a large TV and two sofas.
We walked past it and to an equally large room which had a pool table, foosball table, another TV with a couch, a poker table, and computer.
Sitting on said couch were none other than Heero and Trowa.
"This is the game room." Relena announced while closing the door behind us. She walked up to a cooler that was next to the couch.
"Refreshments." She stated while pointing down at the cooler.
"Would you guys like something to drink?" Merian asked us as she reached for a soda.
I looked around the room, purposely avoiding looking at Heero. I felt like a little kid at one of my parents parties. Stuck in a separate room with all of the other kids.
"Introduction time!" Relena smiled, "Heero, Trowa, this is Duo, Wufei, and Quatre. And you've already met Merian."
Heero arched his eyebrow at Wufei, "So this is the new boyfriend I've heard so much about?" He asked while standing to shake our hands.
Relena beamed. "Yes!" She seemed so happy to have Heero acknowledge Wufei.
Trowa looked Quatre and I over, "I've met you guys before, unofficially," He gave Quatre a charming smile.
The blonde blushed, "Yes, I never got to thank you for catching me."
"It's no problem," Trowa replied smoothly.
At that moment Heero came to shake my hand. I don' t know if it was just me, but the moment our skin touched it felt like an electric spark shot up my arm and went throughout my body. I felt warm instantly.
His blue eyes widened a fraction before he quickly let go of me.
I wasn't the only one who had that felt it. That gave me hope.
We sat on the couch in silence, watching MTV while trying to ignore the fact that the floor was vibrating beneath us.
"Do you guys want to play a game?" Merian suddenly asked blue, she was probably just as bored as the rest of us.
"What kind of game?" Wufei gave her a suspicious look.
"'I Never'. It's a drinking game," Merian grinned.
Relena shot up from her position next to Wufei, "Oh that sounds fun!"
She got up and went to the cabinet that was next to the TV, pulling out a bottle of vodka and some shot glasses, Merian moved to help.
The five of us guys watched as they set up on the poker table.
"Come over here guys." Relena smiled at us disarmingly.
Slowly we trekked over to the table, taking the closest seats available.
"How do you play?" Heero asked curiously as Relena filled each glass.
"The rules are simple," Merian began, "you basically say something you've never done before. Whoever has done it has to take a shot! For example, I say I've never swam in a pool. Let's say that Relena has, because Relena has she takes a shot."
Relena nodded, "Merian can go first since it was her idea. We'll go clockwise after that."
The Asian girl grinned and looked at her cousin, "I've never had to wear glasses."
Wufei rolled his eyes before taking a shot, making a slight face before refilling his glass.
"It's your turn Trowa," Relena said.
"I've never fallen off of bleachers before," He stated with a slight smirk.
Quatre took a shot and refilled his small glass, gagging slightly.
"I've never kissed a boy," Heero said, watching as almost everyone except Wufei took a shot.
I grimaced at the burning sensation the alcohol left, my eyes watered slightly.
"I've never had sex," Relena giggled, we watched as Trowa, Quatre and Merian took shots. Quatre looked like he was going to be sick; it was only his third shot but as far as I knew he had never really drank before.
"I've never gone streaking," Wufei said while mock glaring at his cousin.
Merian chuckled as she took a shot.
"I've never had braces," Quatre hiccupped. Wufei, Merian, and Trowa took a shot.
It was now my turn, what should I say? "I've never…I've never dated Relena." I then laughed at the silliness of what I just said. Heero and Wufei took their shots.
The game went on until almost two of the large bottles of vodka were empty.
To say we were all tipsy was a bit of an understatement. After thirteen shots I was pretty sure that my holding onto the table was the only way to stay stable.
"Let's play musical chairs!" Quatre suggested, and we did.
We played musical chairs rather clumsily, duck duck goose (which wasn't such a good idea since we could barely walk), and some random hand games before Heero suggested strip poker. By this time we were on our third bottle of vodka.
"Where the hell do you keep pulling these bottles out of Relena?" I asked as she poured everyone more shots.
Relena struggled with her sentence, "The cabinet is magic."
Wufei grabbed her and gave her a wet kiss, making them both break out into laughter.
Quatre was passed out on the couch. Heero came up next to me with a black Crayola marker, "Want to draw on him?" He asked me.
"Fuck yeah!" I took the marker from Heero and wrote 'pnus' on Quatre's forehead. Making everyone giggle madly. Quatre didn't stir in his sleep, he was dead to the world.
We eventually calmed down enough to sit at the poker table where Trowa shuffled and dealt cards out. It was only halfway through the first hand that I realized that I had no idea how to play poker. Which resulted in my losing, badly.
It was around the time I had lost both of my socks and shoes as well as my shirt that the music downstairs stopped.
"What's going on?" Merian asked, she looked down at her watch, "it's only 2:00, too early to end it."
"COPS!" A voice from downstairs screamed. The noise downstairs was pure panic.
"Oh shit!" Relena gasped, she was suddenly very sober, "Someone wake up
Quatre! Duo put on your clothes!"
Trowa awoke Quatre, who was dazed and confused but listened either way.
"You guys can go out through the balcony." Relena hissed in a low voice, pushing open the French door which I had thought was a window "There's a …a…a vine holder thingy that you guys can climb down on."
I had finished putting on my shoes by the time we heard the police make their way into the home.
The five of us ran toward the open door, climbing over the ledge. I was the last one down, as I climbed over the ledge I noticed Relena and Merian were getting rid of the empty bottles of vodka and putting away the shot glasses.
The cold air hit me like a ton of bricks as I stumbled my way down, falling on the last part and landing on my back on the frost covered grass.
"Fuck," I hissed before getting up and running like everyone else.
I picked up my now wet shirt and threw it over my head as I ran further from the house, slipping my arms through the sleeves. Not that it did much of a difference now that the shirt was soaked from the frost. My sore back made it a bit difficult to keep up with the others.
I watched Trowa ran off one direction while Wufei and Quatre went in another.
Heero grabbed me while everyone was running out into the woods, which surrounded the backyard, rushing toward their own rides.
"Dude, we need to go!" I stated frantically. The last thing I wanted was to get Milliardo and Relena in more trouble than they were probably already in.
Heero glared at me for a moment before smashing his lips against mine, he pulled back a half minute later, "I've been thinking of doing that all night." He then let me go and ran in the direction Trowa had gone.
…..HEERO YUY JUST KISSED ME….
I blinked a few times in a stupor before I shook my head and hauled ass to my sister's car.
I woke up to the sun shining down into my eyes, my nose stuffy and my throat sore. I groaned and turned over in bed only to literally roll onto Quatre. Moving onto my elbows I noticed Wufei on the other side of him. We were all still wearing the same clothes from last night.
Speaking of which, what the hell exactly happened last night? Everything was a bit of a haze.
I coughed a few times, ugh, my head hurt. I groaned at the realization that
I was sick. What was worse was that I never really did get to talk to Heero last night.
My plan failed.
TBC
Originally Written: 11/21/08
Rewritten: 7/24/12
MLL: And there we go, I hope everyone liked this chapter, I enjoyed writing it. Please review! Flames are welcome; they'll keep me nice and toasty lol.
