Chapter 3 Naruto: Tobikomu Kitsune

(Orochimaru is a gay pedophile. Evidence? Sasuke Uchiha)

Summary: The Yondaime was a Fuuinjutsu master, but he was only human. An unintended gap in the Shiki Fuuin left the village at risk, but… The Kyuubi isn't taking advantage of it? Kushina's alive? Good!Kyuubi, Alive!Kushina, Smart!Powerful!Naruto!

Key;

"Vegeta, what does…" Normal speaking

'The scouter say…' Thoughts/ flashbacks

"About his power level?" Demonic speech

'IT'S OVER 9000!' Demonic thoughts

Jutsu names

AN: For those of you who are against this being a NaruHina, Bite me. It is my favorite pairing and honestly, it makes sense. The whole, "opposites attract" thing comes into play here.

As for the team votes, Naruto is going to be on Team 8 with Hinata and Shino! Team 10 will be canon, and Team 7 will have Kiba with Sasuke and Sakura.

Also, I will use suffixes for the names, but don't hate if I don't place one where it should be or forget them entirely.

Now… On with the story!

(I BREAK THE PAGE! FEAR ME!)

Naruto Shunshined into the Hokage's tower carrying Mizuki's dead body and the Forbidden Scroll. "Jiji! We need to talk." He exclaimed urgently.

"Ah..! Naruto! What are you doing here?" He questioned worriedly, stowing a book into his desk. "Why does he look dead? Why did you steal the scroll?"

"I'll answer that in a second. Mizuki planned to have me steal the forbidden scroll, take it and use it for his own gain. He looks dead because, unless Tsunade-baa-chan was here, he is. I basically shredded his manhood."

"Ow…" Sarutobi had to wince at that one.

Naruto smirked. "Well, you know, I had to fail the test to get him to reveal his plans so… Can you pass me?"

"Oh, yes, of course. Here you go." He pulled out a black Hitai-ate and tied it around Naruto's forehead, leaving two tails flowing in the back that blended into red-orange at the end. "I had this one specially made for you. Is it to your liking?"

"Hai, thank you Jiji!" Naruto exclaimed joyfully.

"Alright, now… Ah yes, here it is!" Sarutobi said, pulling out a form. "'Promotion for Valor in the Face of Danger'" He read off the sheet. "This is one piece of paperwork I am looking forward to doing." He muttered, almost out of the range of normal hearing.

Naruto blurred behind Sarutobi and held a kunai to his neck. "Who are you and what have you done with Jiji?" He whispered into his ear.

"Nani? What do you mean Naruto?" He said, confused.

"The real Jiji would never want to do paperwork. Good henge though, managed to fool even me."

"But you can see through any henge or illusion."

"Oh yeah… Oops! Sorry Jiji." He heard a faint groan and looked over to where Mizuki's body was propped in the corner. "How did he get over there?" he questioned, (AN: It was MEEEEEH!) "This could be a plot hole or something…"

"Plot hole?"

"An inconsistency in the plot of a made up story, which my life seems to be."

"I see. Well then, report to room 9001 at 0300 hours."

"The room number…"Naruto began," IT'S OVER 9000! Do we even have that many rooms in the academy?"

"Actually, umm… we kinda ran out of room number plates during construction and that was the only one we had on hand."

"Ok. See you soon Jiji!"

The next day, Naruto got up and got dressed again in his "super serious" outfit. (AN: This will be his main outfit, it's the shippuden outfit with red instead of orange) Pulling his Hitai-ate tight, he shouted, "Bye mom! I'm off to the academy!"

"Oh, it's time for team placements? I hope you and Sasuke-kun are put on a team together." Kushina said as she walked into the room.

"I dunno, Isn't that a little dangerous? If he finds out about one of my secrets, his Sharingan could be problematic."

"I thought Kyu-san was teaching you to resist it?"

"I'm stuck on that part. I can't focus my chakra properly while under Sharingan-based Genjutsu. It's troublesome."

Elsewhere, Shikamaru Nara sneezed.

"Anyway, I gotta go. I'll tell you what team I'm on later." And with that, he jumped out the window and Shunshined to school.

(OH MY GOSH YOU BROKE THE PAGE! EVILLLLL!)

AN: Alright, this is my stopping point. On a completely unrelated note, who here hates CapsLock? Show of hands please? Like, how many times have I been typing, hit Caps, and have to go back and fix it? I lost count after 572.

Oh by the way, I don't own Naruto. Just putting it out there. I do own a laptop, my brain, and a TV. This is why I am able to write this fic.

R&R!