Title: How to Catch a Straight Guy

Genre: Romance/ Humor

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I no own

Note: This fic is AU, OOC, Yaoi, Yuri, and some odd couples: pairings include 1x2, 3x4, 5xR if you are uncomfortable with any of those this is not the fix for you.

No Beta for this chapter, sadly. Beware of the errors!


INTERMISSION IV

TROWA'S POV


I felt like skipping school the moment my alarm clock went off. I could hear my sister puttering around the kitchen outside of my bedroom door. She was probably already up and ready for work. With a yawn I threw off my blanket and sat up, mornings weren't particularly kind to me. It was one of the many things Quatre and I had in common.

After sitting in a daze for about fifteen minutes I finally managed to stand and gather some clean clothes before taking a quick shower. By the time I was dressed and ready for school Heero was already there, waiting for me in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal.

Heero always came over for a ride to school. He usually rode his bike over and placed it in the backyard. Out of all of us, my cousin lived the furthest from the campus.

"You look like Hell," Heero commented, taking another bite. He was making that cereal look pretty damn good.

I gave him a half glare, "Yeah? Well you're dating a guy who doesn't even realize you two are dating," I stated, pouring myself a bowl, "I mean, if he doesn't see it, then are you really? You sure you're not some deranged stalker or something? You may need help."

Heero almost winced at that statement, "I always forgot how much of a bitch you were the mornings."

I grumbled something incoherent. I didn't really care. I was like a bear that was forcefully awoken before hibernation was even halfway over. Mornings really weren't kind to me, and Heero knew better than anyone that it was wiser for people to just leave me alone.

"I don't see how we're related; how the fuck are you always so chipper in the mornings?" I asked, spooning up some food.

Heero clucked his tongue and shook his head. I hated when he did that.

We were second cousins, related through our late mothers. Heero's half Russian, half Japanese. My father was Puerto Rican, my mother half Japense half French. Our mother's were first cousins, but were as close as sisters, thus was how Heero and I were so close.

"Trowa," He started, "I seriously think you need to get laid. It may relieve some of this morning tension."

I just slurped up the rest of my milk, trying to ignore the fact that he was probably right.


Lunch time came by quicker than I thought it would. But I supposed that it would happen to anyone who did nothing but sleep during class. Yes, I'm one of those students who sleep through everything and never does any work yet still maintains a 4.23 GPA. Hate me.

Quatre wasn't there by the time I sat down; pulling a sub I had bought that morning out of my book bag, as well as a giant bottle of iced tea. The only other person at the table was Wufei.

"Tell me, is it me, or are Heero and Duo being childishly stupid about all of this?" I asked him, he looked up at me with his dark unreadable eyes. I supposed that was what I liked the most about Wufei, it was that his expressions were always so intense, but hard to define. He was very good at controlling his emotions.

After a moment he agreed, "Yes. All of this foreplay between them is getting tiring."

"Foreplay does get tiring, but that's always when the good stuff happens," Relena grinned as she took her seat next to Wufei. I observed them for a moment. They looked different. Closer.

Quatre appeared a moment later, taking his seat next to me, a giant cookie and bottle of lemonade set in front of him, "What're you guys talking about?" He asked curiously. He tilted his head just so, blond hair moving minutely, and his eyes turned a certain shade of blue due to the fluorescent lighting. Every time I look at him I forget to breathe.

He was God's gift to me; I realized it the moment he said yes to me. I may sound foolish, but he was everything to me. I may be experiencing pre-love, the step before actual love. It's a wonderful, albeit painful, experience so far, and I wouldn't change any moment of it.

"We're talking about everyone's favorite non-couple," Relena shook her head and huffed, "I say we should just lock them in a closet and see how far their foreplay will take them." At this remark I began to laugh, even though it wasn't a joke it was funny to me.

I've always had a terrible sense of humor.


After school I went to where the drama whores resided. My sister was the new teacher, and was currently trying to direct the latest school play. From my spot at the back entrance I could see her up in the top room where the lighting technician was. Duo listening to whatever she was saying to him.

"Hey Trowa, back again? Why don't you just join the club?" An actor, Mueller, asked me kindly. He was standing on a footstool as the costume designers worked on him.

"I'm only here for moral support," I said, although even to my own ears it sounded like a lame excuse. The truth was the reason why I came here after school was so that Heero could come here without any suspicions. Since my sister worked here, it was okay for me to visit sometimes, and Heero was my closet friend, so it was okay for him to follow. Heero wasn't on the committee that was just some BS line he fed Duo.

I waited where the audience sat for my cousin. Not ten minutes later he made his entrance and made a beeline to me, taking the seat to my left.

"You know, I'm going to give you an ultimatum 'Ro," I began, stretching my arms above me lazily, "either you march your ass up there and tell Duo who you really feel, or I will." I looked over at him.

Heero flashed me a dirty look, "You have no right to do that." He was right, I didn't, but I was sick of this game. It really shouldn't be this hard for two perfectly confident people to hook up. Months of gravitating around each other, flirting, teasing, it was aggravating.

Cathy made her way through the aisles toward the stage to see how the costumes were going.

"He's all alone up there Heero. Go. Now," I ordered, and was pleasantly surprised to see him get up from his seat and go in the same direction my sister had just come from. Once he was out of sight I stood up and strode over to Cat.

"Hey, Cathy, give Heero a ride home? I'm leaving." I grinned at her, pleased with myself.

Cathy looked up at me with her pretty lavander eyes, "Sure, no problem Tro. I'll see you later."

I nodded at her one last time before leaving campus. Because really, as interesting as Heero and Duo's predicament was to me, I'd much rather snuggle up next to Quatre for an afternoon nap.


TBC


Originally Written: 5/26/09

Rewritten: 7/26/12


MLL: I love Trowa. I may be slow for the updating because I actually lost the original last chapter! And I don't remember the exact details on how this fic ended, so everything will be brand new. 2 more chapters.