Chapter Seven - Equilibrium
Jinora had never felt more relaxed in her life. Being able to fully detach from the strings that suspended her to the physical world was like shedding every ounce of her weight. Her mind was fully released from the burdens of attachment and responsibility. She was finally free. Jinora's body sat straight backed and cross legged in the meditation pavilion; her brown hair had freed itself from her bun and now fluttered loosely in the calm wind. There were absolutely no thoughts passing through Jinora's mind. Her body was running itself on autopilot without the need of her intervention. She was barely aware of what was around her at a basic level of instinct, only intermittently able to sense the air acolyte's movement as they replaced each other at the passing of each hour. Though she could sense it, she thought nothing of it. Apart from their movements, as far as she was concerned there was nothing going on outside of her body.
As the hours progressed, Jinora's meditation became deeper and deeper, its strength rolling over her in strong waves. Her breathing had become extremely slow, only inhaling and exhaling about twice a minute. In her deepest state of meditation she started to feel something happen to her that she had never experienced before. It was as though her mind was starting to float away from her body, as if her spirit was liberating itself of her physical body. She could almost feel her spirit pry itself out of her person. Immediately after the sensation passed, she felt a soft large hand gently take hold of her own, pulling her upwards and leading her away from the meditation pavilion. She followed the pulling hand blindly; keeping her eyes closed and mind clear, allowing her legs to work themselves. Jinora could see the presence of sun glowing a vibrant red though her delicate eyelids. She wondered how long she had been meditating and where she was being led to. Was this part of the test?
After a substantial amount of walking had been done, her thoughtlessness slipped away and allowed her curiosity to get the better of her. Jinora sneakily cracked open one of her eyes, becoming blinded momentarily by the bright light of the day. When her eyes had recovered, they focused on her surroundings. It appeared that she was being led to a part of the island she did not recognise by an orange hooded figure of a man that she couldn't place in her memory. He didn't seem to react negatively to her eyes opening, so she slowly opened both eyes, squinting to adjust to the sunlight. Once she had recovered, she looked back towards the lower island to see how far they had travelled. She was absolutely flabbergasted when she looked back to the pavilion.
That's impossible
From her vantage point on the slope she was walking up, Jinora could clearly see the back of her own body sitting in the meditation pavilion accompanied by an air acolyte from the panel where she had been hours ago. What was happening to her right now? Who was this man and where was he leading her?
At any other time in her life, Jinora would have been scared out of her skin by a strange tall man leading her to the edge of an island. Strangely enough though, Jinora was completely calm. For some inexplicable reason, she found that she trusted the hooded man leading her away and felt as though she was somehow connected to him. Jinora and the cloaked man soon reached a clearing in the forest which led to the edge of the island. Jinora observed the smooth rock ledge facing out towards the vast ocean. She had never been to this edge of the island on foot before, so she took the chance to absorb her surroundings. Without looking at her, the hooded man wordlessly gestured for her to sit at the edge of the cliff with him, sitting down on the smooth marble rock himself, facing away from the ocean from which it overlooked. Jinora joined him compliantly and sat to face him, able to look out to the sea behind his figure. As they sat together, the hooded man looked down towards the ground, not revealing his face, leaving a comfortable silence to hang between them for a few minutes.
"I have waited so long for this day to come." The unfamiliar man spoke softly to Jinora, his voice exuding an air of importance, making his gentle tenor voice resonate through the air. As he said this, he finally looked up to face Jinora's gaze, revealing his wizened silver eyes which captured her own in a resonant stare. In that moment, clarifying realisation flooded through her body.
"Grandpa Aang?" She uttered in disbelief, unable to understand how this was possible. The man removed his hood to reveal his bald head and blue arrow, giving her a beaming smile which lit up his handsome face.
"Jinora, it is so good to finally meet you," Aang said sincerely, still wearing his slightly goofy smile. Jinora's eyes filled up with overwhelming emotion and she propelled herself forward to hug him emotively. He smiled warmly at her embrace and returned her hug with a long tattooed arm wrapping around her small body in a fatherly hug. When she let him go, she returned to her sitting position with an incredulous look of confusion plastering her face.
"How... how is this even possible?" She asked seriously. "Mortals aren't able to enter the spirit world, only the avatar can do that," Jinora spouted out bewilderedly, giving Aang a questioning expression which accentuated her beautiful face and craved an explanation.
"Normally, you would be right," Aang replied in kind agreement. "However, mortals can enter the spirit world in certain circumstances, for example, on the solstice; some individuals are able to make contact with the spirit world. The air nomads have also been known to possess the ability of contacting the spirit world when they have reached the pinnacle of spiritual enlightenment in their meditation." Aang finished off intelligently, looking at Jinora's facial expression as it turned from one of confusion to dawning realisation.
"You mean... I've mastered meditation?" Jinora asked in disbelief, her brown eyes wide in shock.
"Yes Jinora. By letting go of all earthly attachments you were able to let your spirit be free and unhindered by any burdens of your physical life." Aang finished. His face still held the remnants of his warm smile.
Jinora was practically buzzing by this stage, letting a joyful laugh escape her soft lips. Even though Jinora felt absolutely ecstatic, there was a strange feeling lurking in the back of her mind that she couldn't shake. Something about her emotions felt wrong, as though something important was missing. She tried to identify what this feeling was being caused by. What had she lost? Almost immediately, Jinora knew what was missing. She had separated herself from her feelings for Bolin. Guilt flooded over her face as she remembered the man that held her affections. Even though she was happy now, it didn't feel whole because he wasn't here; she had let him go to achieve her goals. Her laugh disintegrated in the air leaving behind a guilt ridden silence. As this happened, Aang's face changed from his handsome smile and was replaced by a quizzical look when he noticed Jinora's change of demeanour.
"What's wrong Jinora?" Aang asked sensitively, moving from his spot in front of her in preference to a place at her side.
"I know I should be happy, and I am, but I just feel so guilty..." Jinora admitted, looking in to Aang's silver eyes sadly. She brought her knees to her chin and looked out vaguely towards the ocean. "To get in to such a deep meditation, I had to let go of so much. I even had to let go of someone that I... love."
As soon as Jinora had said these words, she felt an instant pang of emotion hit her. She had let so much go, but having to let Bolin go had truly clarified her feelings for him. Detaching herself from her love for him was like being slowly suffocated. It made her feel sick to the stomach. It had been the hardest part of the meditation phase. Aang saw the pain in her eyes and nodded gently in understanding, his intelligent grey eyes giving her an empathetic gaze. He put a long arm comfortingly around her shoulder. He knew exactly how she felt.
"I know how hard that is. I had to do it once myself with your grandmother. It hurts you more than any physical wound could." Jinora nodded in silent agreement. She could feel the burning sensation of tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Jinora quickly blinked them away. For a short moment there was a relaxed silence, both of them looking out towards the glimmering ocean. While Jinora watched the tips of the waves catch in the sunlight. As they observed the view, Aang positioned his body in to the meditative position and started to speak.
"I know that it may be hard to believe right now, but knowing what it feels like to lose someone you love is extremely important. Every single life, whether it be in the past, present or future, is connected in a delicate and intrinsic balance. To gain a full understanding of how interconnected we all are, you need to start by looking from within." Aang continued to speak, the air of wisdom returning to his voice. "Understanding the full spectrum of emotions that you have allows you to maintain balance inside yourself. Learning how to deal with certain emotions is a major part in empathising with others and dealing with problems, for example, learning to counter anger with forgiveness instead of blind revenge. Knowing all the extremities of your emotions is what allows you to relate and connect with every life on earth. At any one moment, every single emotion in the world is being felt. We live as though our lives are separate, but this is just an illusion. Everything is living and breathing together in the same world as you. The struggles inside yourself are universal and not yours alone to bear. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that you have. This is the way to maintain equilibrium. As for love, it is the most important bond of all. Love is the strongest attachment we have to each other. It is also the most important. Never let it go Jinora, it is the key to unlocking everything around you." Aang finished insightfully, leaving Jinora in a deep pool of thoughts. His words of wisdom developed a new frame of mind for Jinora. She had know that all life was sacred but never really considered how interwoven all life was. It had taken her sixteen years to fully understand the lesson, and it changed her. After a long time of comfortable silence had passed between them, Jinora spoke up softly.
"Aang, I don't think I can let Bolin go again." Jinora said seriously, her lips starting to silently quiver with the sadness that was filling her body.
"You don't have to." Aang replied with a sincere smile reaching his thin lips. "While spiritual enlightenment is the aim of the air nomads, you should also value love and all the things that keep you attached to the physical world. Both aspects of life are equally important."
At these words, Jinora let a small smile escape from her lips and raised a hand to wipe a single tear from her ivory cheek.
"It's getting late," Aang remarked, noticing the deep orange hue that swept across the sea. "I should take you back to your body."
Jinora chuckled and nodded in agreement, lithely raising herself from her seated position. Aang pushed himself up from the ground to stand beside her. They slowly walked the long distance back to her body, talking intermittently about each other's lives. By the time they reached the meditation pavilion, the sun had well and truly sunk behind the mountains leaving the sky a deep navy blue scattered with bright stars and a lazy moon to give a gentle wash of light to the land. Jinora took the opportunity to look over at the giant clock across the ocean. Eleven thirty p.m. Had it really been twenty four hours already?
Aang and Jinora stopped in front of the meditation pavilion where her body and Tenzin were now seated. They faced each other solemnly.
"This is where I have to leave you. Good bye Jinora. I will miss you so much." Aang said, emotion lacing his voice as he looked down at her face.
"Will I ever see you again?" Jinora asked softly, a sad but hopeful look contained by her deep brown eyes.
"One day we will meet again, I promise." Aang answered Jinora, pulling her in to a long goodbye hug. "Just remember, I am a part of you. I will always be with you when you need me." As Aang said this, she felt the same sensation that she had sensed in the air today, energy, life, balance, equilibrium. She smiled gratefully and reluctantly released her grandfather, a few tears escaping her eyes.
"Goodbye grandpa Aang" Jinora said, taking one last look at her grandfather before walking carefully in to the pavilion, doing her best to avoid touching Tenzin. She took a minute to regain her composure and wipe away her tears. Once she had calmed herself, she gently placed her spirit hands on her own physical shoulders. As soon as she did this, a nauseating falling sensation overcame her making her feel as though she was hurtling towards the ground at terminal velocity. This feeling quickly subsided and was replaced by a sensation that felt like ropes tethering her spirit back to her body. Finally Jinora was back in her physical body. The first thing she noticed was how heavy she felt and how sore her body had become. Her legs and lower back ached from being in the same position all day and shoulders were trying not to give way to a slouch. Jinora tried her best to ignore her fatigue and sunk in to a mild meditation. After a short time had passed she heard the distant sound of the clock chiming.
DONG, DONG, DONG, DONG, DONG, DONG, DONG, DONG, DONG, DONG, DONG, DONG.
After the twelfth toll of the bell had finished, Jinora felt a warm hand on her shoulder for the second time today. She stirred herself from her meditation and opened her bleary eyes to look at the person attached to the hand. She made out the blue arrow and black beard of her father. As her eyes focused properly, Tenzin smiled down on her proudly with a tear running down his face.
"Congratulations... Master Jinora."
AN: I realise this chapter is very long. It took me a while to write. I hope you enjoyed it. I may just take this chance to reiterate that I unfortunately do not own LOK. Please review, it inspires me to write faster.
Hazel.
