Okay so im actually not very happy with this chapter because ive just gotten over a bit of writers block so im not sure about it but merh. Hope you like it anyway! none of this is mine.


Loki walked into the kitchen the next morning, merely to obtain some coffee, when he felt his world begin to tilt slightly. He paused in his travels, leaning lightly against the wall just next to him. He closed his eyes, allowing the moment to pass. This had been happening occasionally, but Loki reasoned with himself that it was nothing to worry about, he had probably just contracted some strange Midgardian disease that he know not the symptoms of.

"You okay?" Loki started at Tony's voice, not having heard the man enter the room. Loki opened his mouth to speak, but the voice kicked in, causing him to puase before he spoke.

Tell him you're fine. You don't want to worry him, and it'll just be a burden. He already has to look at you every day, horrible, fat beast that you are. Isn't that hard enough?

Loki choked a little, trying to hold back his tears. The voice had gotten progressively more malicious as time went on, and now it seemed he was almost afraid to speak to the other Avengers for fear of dissapproval.

"Loki?" Tony took a step toward the God, seeing how immensely frightened he had suddenly become. Loki faced him, eyes wide, breathing erratic, and for just a second, Tony was afraid. When Steve had approached him, claiming something about Loki seemed off or wrong, he had his doubts. Tony was Loki's boyfriend, surely he would have noticed if something were wrong. He was now ashamed to see how much he had overlooked. He knew Loki was usually pale, but his skin now seemed practically translucent. He had deep sunken bags beneath his eyes, and his entire body was skeletal, the casual Asgardian clothing he wore hanging off of him. His eyes were unfocused, as though he saw through Tony instead of looking at him, and there was a light tremble in his hands.

"Loki?" He asked again, having recieved no vocal response. He reached out to rest a hand on the Trickster's shoulder, but just as his hand reached out, Loki emitted a strangled sound and moved away, still trembling.

"I'm fine" He whispered, voice hoarse as though he had been greatly upset.

"No you're not." Both Tony and Loki started then, Loki almost falling over as it made him dizzy once more, righting himself only at the last minute. Steve walked boldly into the room, standing in front of the couple, hands on hips.

"You've been acting weird Loki, you're getting thinner and thinner and you look like you're about to keel over any second. You barely talk to anyone, and don't think I haven't heard you crying in your room, because I have. Whatever is going on, it's nothing to be ashamed of, we're your friends, we love you and we want to help you"

At this, Loki's face twisted into a scowl. It was probably the most emotion he had shown in a while, even if it was scary as hell.

"Noone can love me. I am unlovable and repulsive. How can you bare to stand there, looking at me? How can you bare the sight? I have tried, iI have felt for myself how it burns to gaze upon such hideousness. I am disgusting. Morbidly obese and ugly, how can you not be ashamed to be near me, how do you not find this sickening. I am a monster! He tells me so each morning and evening, and he does not lie. I am worthless." By the end of his screaming, all of the occupants of the Tower had assembled in the kitchen, witnessing Loki's breakdown. The vast majority were either in shock or in tears, but none more so than Loki, who by this point was breathing heavily as he sobbed with his head in his heands on the couch, where he had abruptly sat as he finished.

Thor stepped forward, moving to hold his brother, but Tony put a restraining hand on his arm.

"Don't. He doesn't like being touched right now." Thor nodded, but would not let the matter rest.

"Loki...I don't understand. What is happening to you, brother? You said you were researching, you had me deliver food to you because you were so busy."

Bruce stepped forwards then, hands wringing together in a nervous gesture, though he spoke with confidence.

"I understand. I think Loki's been suffering from anorexia nervosa. Steve, Thor, you might not know what that is. Loki..you said he tells you things. Who did you mean?"

Loki's eyes widened even firther, if that were even possible, and he ran his shaking hands through his thinning hair. Bruce winced as he saw a few strands pulled out by the action.

"Him. The voice. He is me, i believe. He tells me the truth others won't. He tells me what i am worth, and how i must fix it. He understands. He reminds me how happy Tony will be when I am thinner. How Tony will believe me worthy of him then."

Tony clapped a hand over his mouth as if he were going to be sick, but Loki ignored him. He seemed to be running on autopilot, not processing who he was saying these things to, merely responding to any questions thrown at him.

Steve and Tony moved forward simultaneously then, taking the seats either side of Loki on the couch. Tony had tears on his face out of love for his boyfriend, and horror at the thoughts Loki seemed to have about what he thought of the God. Steve had a lone tear track on his face, out of horror that none of them had noticed what was happening until this late, that one of their team had that low self-esteem and that none of them had helped him. But what horrified him most was that he didn;t know what to do about it now. In his day, Anorexia was very rare to be spoken of, and it was unheard of for a man to have it, but Steve had no trouble believing Loki could be Anorexic. Even as they sat there, Loki groaned gently as a dizzy spell took him, frightening Tony almost out of his wits.

"Loki? Loki! Stay awake for me baby."

Loki registered little else but his own lips forming the apology before he slipped into the welcoming darkness.

"I'm so sorry."


Read and review please :D