Hey guys :) I know this chapter has a finite ring to it but it is DEFINITELY NOT the last chapter :P I own nothing...still *sigh*
Steve paced outside the Medical suite, waiting for Tony to bring news of their fallen comrade. He knew his constant movement was irritating the other avengers, most of whom were all seated around him, but he was too anxious to stay seated. He descended like a wolf on meat when Tony opened the door to Loki's room, his face distraught. He stepped into the hall, hands folded tightly across his chest, as though he were trying to hold himself together. The billionaire took a deep breath, steadying himself before he spoke.
"B-Bruce has him on a drip" He ran his hands nervously through his dark hair. Steve was alarmed by how unsettled Tony seemed, for he was usually so calm and collected. "He's so thin, Steve, I mean he was skinny before but...I just don't understand how we didn't see it. How did we not see it?" Here Tony grabbed the nearest lamp and sent it hurtling towards the wall where it smashed and sent a shower of glass over Thor. The Thunder God didn't even look up from his gaze towards the floor. Tony sank down the wall, landing with his knees bent towards his chest, his face in his hands. Steve crouched, putting a hand on his shoulder as he saw a lone tear slip from beneath Tony's hands.
"Shhh, Tony. He'll be alright. We know now, and we're going to help him, all of us. He'll be okay."
Tony removed his face from his hands, and Steve could see his eyes were red and puffy, and there could be only one word to describe his expression. Heartbroken. "I just don't understand how Loki could think I would want him to do this to himself. Why can't he see how beautiful he already is? He didn;t think he was good enough for me, Steve!" Tony's face crumbpled, his voice breaking.
"It's the Anorexia." Even Thor turned to look at Bruce then, none of them having heard him leave Loki's room. "The voice, as he calls it. It tells him nasty things, tells him he isn't good enough. Something triggered this in him, and it grew. If you listened to something inside your own head, telling you in your own voice, how worthless you are, all day, every day, you would begin to believe it as well."
A small groan from behind him had Bruce vanishing from the doorway, back into the room from whence he came, and Tony bolting after him, Steve and Thor vying for third place. Loki stirred gently on the bed, his eyes unopened as of yet. Tony had taken the seat at his side, winding his hands around the drip and the monitoring equipment to grasp Loki's own, his other hand coming up to run through Loki's hair, gently, so as not to pull any out as he whispered soft reassurances and pleas.
"Open your eyes baby. Come on Loki, let me see those beautiful green gems you're hiding. I love you baby, you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and you're beautiful and I love you. Just open your eyes and let me see you. You're scaring me, baby."
Loki's face gravitated to the sound of Tony's voice, his eyes fluttering open. He blinked blearily, not quite conscious of his surroundings yet. When the fog cleared, however, it was impossible to miss the love in the room. It radiated from Tony, a warm smile on his face just from seeing Loki awake, despite all his inner turmoil. Loki's face had lit up at seeing Tony upon wakening, as though Tony were his sunshine, and he had seen far too many clouds recently. As Steve watched, envious, not of either of the two men, but of the connection they had, Tony stroked Loki's cheek with a calloused finger.
"Hey there, Sunshine. How you feeling?" Loki seemed to not just lean, but melt into Tony's touch. However, as the inventor spoke, a perplexed look crossed his sharp features.
"I do not remember...why am I here? What is going on?" Loki's eyes widened and his breathing sped up as he thought about what was happening. Tony was touching him, he was in a flimsy hospital gown, Tony could see the fat, feel the fat, despise the fat on his body. Tony would hate him.
"You mustn't look at me." He said in a small voice, turning to face away from his beloved. "I am hideous. You will cease to love me." It was heartbreaking for all present to see Loki so uncertain. Steve placed a hand on Thor's chest as the God opened his mouth to speak. It was important that Tony be the one to talk this through with Loki. They were just there for moral support.
"Don't." The word forced itself from Steve's mouth. He just couldn't watch Loki belittle himself this way. Apparently Bruce couldn't either, because he was the next to step forward.
"Loki...I know the voice in your head is telling you you're not good enough, but that voice is iwrong/i. You're already thin, and Tony loves you as you are. He always did. He fell in love with you before the voice was ever a part of you, can't you see? We're going to help you."
Loki sobbed, unable to hold it back. They didn't understand. "You can't get rid of it, it is the truth. Tony told me I had gained weight himself. I am just trying to rectify that matter, to prove I am good enough for you. I love you Tony, a little cutting back is nothing compared to what I would do for you, please, please understand that. I love you"
Tony felt as though he'd been struck. It was him. Him, who had triggered this. He hadn't meant it that way! Just Loki was so thin...it had worried Tony before, and then when he told Loki he had gained some weight...it was from sheer relief. He'd been happy to see the God gaining weight at last, but instead he'd caused the opposite.
"No no no baby, I didn't mean that. You're not fat, god, you're nowhere near it, that's why I was so relieved when you started putting on some weight, because I was always afraid I would snap you in half if you dipped you when we danced, or when I would hug you round the middle. I'm so sorry baby. You're so very beautiful." Loki ducked his head, unwilling to hear Tony's lies, he was only doing it to be kind. How could anyone love a monster?
Tony leant forward, capturing Loki's chin in his hand, gently tipping the God's face upwards, staring him in his beautiful emerald irises. "Look at me, and trust me. I love you, Loki Laufeyson. I have loved you since I met you, even when you were trying to destroy us, and I didn't know what love felt like, I know now I loved you even then. You are the most beautiful creature ever created. More beautiful than the sun and the moon and the stars put together. More beautiful than the rainbow bridge and the bifrost and all of Yggdrasil. And you are mine, and I refuse to let go of you, and I refuse to share you with this 'Voice' in your head. You are mine and mine alone Loki, and I will love you until my heart stops. You just have to let me help you. Please, baby, let me help."
Steve let a few tears of his own break forth as the near skeletal Trickster God leant into the arms of his love, crying into his shoulder. Thor had tear tracks down his face, oddly quiet, as he watched his brother be rocked by Tony. Steve motioned with his head for them to leave, Bruce whispering to Tony that he would be down the hall if they needed anything. They all agreed the couple needed some time to themselves right now.
"How is he?" Oddly enough, Natasha had tones of genuine concern in her words. Huh...Steve had thought her incapable of that emotion. He answered without even realizing the words he spoke.
"He'll get there, in time. He has Tony now."
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