Okay so yeah...this chapter didnt end how i originally planned but i still like it so i hope you do too! :D I won nothing
Tony stayed with Loki day after day as he lay in the medical suite, leaving only to shower every now and then, leaving it up to Steve, Thor and Bruce to bring food and water when it was necessary. He slept either in the huge plush chair he had Thor bring in, or laying on the bed next to Loki, on Loki's good days. He had plenty of bad days, days when he would yell and cry and scream that they all hate him, and wanted him to be fat and disgusting. Some days he was just unresponsive. But there were moments, glimmers of hope, where with enough plying and reassurances Tony could get him to eat some apple slices dipped in honey, or a small sandwhich before the haunted look crossed his face and he refused to eat anymore. Tony never wavered, never showed his own troubles at Loki's slow progress. This wasn't about him, he knew that. He only cried the once, and he hated thinking about that day.
He had just gone for a shower, -Steve dragged him away when he began getting a bit ripe- and since it was one of Loki's good days, he thought it would be okay to leave him alone for a bit. It had been nice, the hot water soothing the knots in his muscles from spending too long in his chair. He dried off, shaved, dressed in some nice clean clothes, and headed back to Loki's room, but when he opened the door, Loki wasn't in his bed. That in itself was slightly unusal, as the Trickster had been lacking the strength to walk unaided recently, and JARVIS would have told him if someone else had come in to help Loki (He liked being informed okay?). It was as he was about to open his mouth to ask JARVIS where their resident mischeif-maker was when he heard it. Heard the retching and the sobbing.
No.
That morning, he'd managed to get Loki to eat a decent amount of food, at least twice what the God had eaten the day before, and he'd felt so pleased. Loki hadn't even seemed that distressed by it. Now he knew why. Loki must have predicted Steve would drag Tony away today, and thought of this, this way of purging so he could say he'd eaten but not put on the weight. Oh, Loki, why couldn't he see how beautiful he was?
Tony opened the bathroom door, determined to put a stop to this. The door swung open, and Loki's head whipped up at the sound and Tony found himself frozen to the spot. The toilet was filled with vomit and blood, and a trickle of blood ran down from the corner of Loki's mouth. The God was panting, tears running from his eyes, which were red and puffy, and panic stricken. Tony fell to his knees beside his love, crushing the damaged man in a hug, ignoring the blood that now covered his shoulder, and allowed himself to cry.
He was so scared. God was he scared for his Loki.
From that day Tony had made sure that whenever he was away from Loki, Steve or Bruce were planted firmly in the seat next to him. He wouldn't trust Thor with this, if only because the Thunder God was far too likely to leave Loki alone if asked, just to please his brother. Gradually, Loki was making progress, slow, painfully slow progress, and really it was all thanks to Natasha. Every day she had Loki write out a list of reasons he was better than The Voice said he was. Had him write things like his intelligence, he had a body of his own, a mind of his own, his magic, his family, and Tony. To be honest, at first it kind of creeped Tony out to see Tasha being so...caring, but Clint took him aside and told him that as a child Tasha had her own weight issues, so she kinda understood Loki's issues. She had him write in a journal every day, and then at the end of each journal he filled (and he filled LOTS, some just with angry words, others with drawings), they burnt it, to get rid of te negative emotion. Gradually, Loki started doing things on his own. He wrote out nice things he could think about himself, he drew pictures of Asgard and of his children, he talked to everyone again. He talked to Bruce about Science versus magic, and acted superior about being a genius in both respects. He talked to Clint about target practice and strategy, to Steve about Art, to Natasha about gossip and the lies others told, to Thor about his past. The only person he seemed to barely speak to was Tony.
Tony knew it was because Loki was afraid. He spoke to him sometimes, but when he did it was with a look of uncertainty, and around meal times he would be less inclined to eat if Tony was present. Natasha and Bruce said to give it time, but Tony was impatient. He loved Loki, and Loki loved him and he knew that, but this hurt.
It was a Friday, one of Loki's better days, when he found the God sat up in his bed, still being monitored of course, he was still far too thin, but he was eating. Little slices of pop tarts (which Thor totally hadn't gotten him hooked on). When he saw Tony in the door, however, he gulped, pushing the slices to one side.
"Loki...we need to talk about this. I didn't mean what I said to you in a bad way, honestly, i was ipleased/i. I mean it baby, I love you as you are"
Loki sighed, looking down at his hands. "You say that now, but if I had kept gaining weight, you would feel differently."
"Loki...how can I explain this so you'll hear me? I want to grow old with you. I want to marry you someday, when you're ready. I want to have children with you, and raise them together, I want to meet your parents, and have an eating contest with you and Thor, because God knows I'd be flattened but I can try anyway. I want to take you to the theatre, and to the fair, and eat cotton candy with you while we ride the ferris wheel. I want to take you back to germany, where we first met, and dance under the stars with you, and pull pranks on Steve and Thor every day for a month to see how long it takes them to crack. I want you to be the first thing i see each morning, the last thing i see each night, and the only one I think of everywhere in between. I don't know if any, or all of these things will actually happen, but I know i'm damn well going to try and make them happen, and I can't do that without you. I am never going to leave you baby, not ever, whether you're fat or thin, Jotun or Aesir, Blue or yellow with pink pola-dots. I love you. Please, please try to see that."
Tony shut his eyes as he finished his little speech, terrified of Loki's reaction. What if the God looked horrified because he'd come on too strong? What if he didn't believe him? Tony's inner terror was cut off by a pair of incredibly eager lips jamming onto his own, a warm tongue forcing it's way into his mouth. He responded in kind, breathing a sigh of relief and happiness that Loki had responded in this way. He lifted Loki from where he had tumbled into his lap, moving them both through the halls and to Loki's bedroom, which was closest. He was gentle with the God, due to his lack of nutrition for so long, Loki bruised like a peach right now. Their bodies pressed together on the soft mattress. They broke apart after about a minute, both of them needing to draw air. He smiled as Loki's hands carded through his hair. He hadn't intended to make love with Loki now anyway, he knew the God was still too sensitive about his body for that. But it was a start.
"Did you mean it?" Loki's voice breathed in his ear. Tony didn't need clarification on this point, he knew what Loki was asking.
"Yes."
Loki's hand stilled in his hair and Tony inhaled sharply, waiting. He relaxed when he found Loki smirking playfully, face inches from his own.
"Prove it."
And the God vanished, leaving Tony to a cold shower and alot of thinking to do. Tony really had meant what he said, and it sent a spark of joy running through him like electricity that telling Loki this seemed to finally make him realize that Tony wasn't going to leave him, no matter what. And now that Tony had admitted aloud what he wanted, it was time to do something about it. He would prove to Loki that it was more than just words to make him feel better.
He was going to propose tomorrow, that he knew.
But how?
Hope you guys enjoyed! Read and review please :D
