The Methuselah Hunters
Lt. Commander Richie
Disclaimer: Doctor Who is property of BBC, Trinity Blood of Sunao Yoshida (may he rest in peace). It's their sandboxes full of toys, and while they're inside for lunch I'm the angry neighbor kid that jumps the fence and puts their action figures in compromising positions.
Warnings: Humor, completely made up jargon, an awful lot of running, the requisite 10/Rose flirting and spoilers for Trinity Blood up to but not into Know Faith/Silent Noise and Who up through but not surpassing "The Satan Pit". Disregards the timeline of the varying Great and Bountiful Human Empires because I am lazy. Contains 10 and Rose trussed up in artbook Trinity Blood uniforms (feel free to laugh and/or fangasm).
A/N: I am a bad person and I love it. I've also combined Firefly and Bleach before, though the internet is never seeing that. SO YES! Two of my favorite things, Trinity Blood being an old favorite and Doctor Who being a brand new one, combined into one thing! This will either end very well or very badly. Allons-y!
Best read on 3/4 or 1/2 width.
Chapter 4
-/-
"Y' jus' had ta' take me to the bloody Vatican!" Gunshots rang out through the Old Gardens, chunks of granite and marble flying everywhere as large weapons were discharged with reckless abandon. In the back of the minds of most everyone present was the knowledge that several trees were on fire and that the downed Methuselah craft that had hit the gardens hard and taken out two gazebos and a fountain was primed to explode.
Rose Tyler was not pleased in the slightest and loving every moment of it.
"Well how was I supposed to know we'd get here an' be inducted into the Special Operations Section?" Cycling through settings on the sonic screwdriver faster than he probably should have been, the Doctor crouched next to Rose behind the base of a large statue of Saint Henriette of Seingalt. He flinched a little closer to the center of the cover provided by the marble statue when a massive slug tore a good-sized hunk of stone out of the corner of it, then continued to fiddle with the screwdriver with his mouth hanging just barely open in an expression of rapt concentration.
"Doesn't matter," Rose said, using the vague reflection in a piece of her armor to see around the corner of the statue and locate the Methuselah that was firing at them, the two other AX operatives and one Inquisition member. His concentration momentarily broken, the Doctor looked up at Rose with his mouth still hanging open slightly and an expression of confusion gracing his features in a way that looked rather good on him. "End'a the day, we still gotta catch us a vampire. Yeah?" She turned back to the Doctor then, a kind and forgiving smile on her face that reached all the way up to her black-lined eyes. That expression quickly turned into a mischievous one, a hint of tongue just barely visible at the corner of her mouth. "So wot's the plan, then?"
"The plan is extraordinarily simple! Easy enough for even you to understand. Simplest plan I've ever made, no plan quite like it you see-" the Doctor's babble was cut short as Rose fixed him with a look.
"You haven't got one." It was a statement, not a question. The two of them ducked as part of the statue they were crouching behind was blown into large chunks that narrowly missed hitting the both of them.
"Haven't got one, no." The Doctor had the grace to at least look a little apologetic as he conceded the point, but his features quickly steeled into the dark and very serious visage that at least a hundred thousand planets had learned to fear. "But I've got an inkling of one, and you're going to follow it to the letter." Without preamble his gloved fingers found hers, and they laced together tight enough that Rose thought he might never try to let go. She opened her mouth to ask a question and he promptly beat her to the punch. "You're going to run. You're getting out of this situation, and you're doing it now. I'll be right behind you."
"If this is about what that thing on that planet said-" Rose had barely enough time to begin to look indignant before her words died in her throat. The Doctor's black look, the one that had inspired a thousand legends of a fearsome Lonely God, was gone. In its place was a pleading one tinted with something she didn't dare try to name, and the hand clasped in hers got a little tighter.
"It's not," he reassured. "I swear it's not. Just please, listen to me. Methuselah are dangerous. In the grand scheme of things they're probably just a few steps down from the Cybermen. They're impossibly fast an' completely ruthless. 's why I didn't want us getting involved with the AX, Rose- I didn't want you getting hurt." The two companions ducked as a piece of the unfortunate statue of the Saint of Seingalt was propelled over their heads along with several large-caliber bullets. Rose looked a little worried as she looked back up at the Doctor, but squeezed his hand reassuringly before giving him a kind smile.
"A'right," she conceded. "I should make all sorts of fuss 'bout leavin' you, but I won't. You gon' give me cover t' get outta here?" The blond gestured with a nod of her head to the Methuselah still taking potshots at the assembled Vatican agents. The pleading look that seemed unfortunately etched onto the Doctor's face immediately brightened considerably, and his grin made an immediate comeback.
"Oh yes," he held up the sonic screwdriver as he spoke, the high-pitched keen of the silver and blue device suddenly rising to a deafening pitch before fading into silence. As it did so he made a face like he had just licked something he really shouldn't have- not that the specifics of what he licked ever bothered him. "I've just elevated the screwdriver's sonic output levels to a pitch beyond the scope of natural human hearing. I can hear it, the Methuselah can hear it, but you lot can't. Run!" Without needing to be told twice, Rose grabbed two large fistfuls of her grass-stained white and blue habit and hiked it up before jumping to her feet and booking it as fast as she could out of that portion of the gardens. Behind her she heard the Methuselah let out a guttural yell, sounding both enraged and in pain at the same time. The blond had barely enough time to dive behind a statue of an Archangel before two bullets carved massive divots in the marble.
Grumbling about the state of her habit, Rose picked herself up off the grass and brushed at the white fabric at around knee-height. It had taken the worst damage from her constant running and ducking out of the line of fire, and there were green streaks all over the front of the white and blue garment. Her gloved hands found her wimple and straightened it, situating her hair in a way she hoped looked suitably nun-esque.
"Now what?" Rose grumbled, fisting her hands back into her skirt and hiking it back up again. "Go an' play tea party with the hologram? Find a 31st century chippy? I got the run part, Doctor, but where do I run to?" With a long-suffering sigh the companion took off at a fairly fast pace, weaving between statues until she ducked down a long open corridor between two buildings. Her run dwindled to a fast jog as she turned several corners, weaving deeper and deeper into the massive and beautiful buildings of the Vatican. She kept up the pace until the sounds of gunfire faded into the distance, not stopping until she couldn't do much else but lean against a large column and gasp for breath.
For the thousandth time that day, Rose cursed her heeled boots. She would have continued to curse them in more than just the one language, but a sudden explosion- the downed Methuselah ship had finally gone off- made her jump and whip around to face the way she had come. All around her the windows of the back offices of the Basilica rattled in their casings. The blond fisted her hands in her white and blue skirt and told herself not to go running back into the fray, her gloved hands nearly shaking as she fought herself to do what the Doctor had told her to.
The sound of boots on marble brought the blond back to Earth, and she turned with a swish of her skirt and wimple to face the new arrival. It was a nun, her black hair and exotic features marred with wide-eyed terror. Upon closer inspection the woman's gloves were missing, her wimple was nearly falling out of her rather luxurious curls and the front of her habit was missing two buttons. With a scream the nun finally tripped, falling to her hands and knees with a sob. Rose was at her side in an instant, a hand on her back and the other grasping one of the nun's own to help her to her feet.
"The Methuselah-" the nun began, gasping for breath as she leaned heavily on Rose's shoulder. "That explosion!"
"AX is takin' care of it," Rose assured her, leading the woman to the nearest seat she could find. The blond sat the woman down on the edge of a good-size fountain built into the wall, brushing away a few strands of wisteria that tried to tangle in her hair and the little silver arrows on the edge of her wimple. "Y'alright? I'm Rose, wos y'name?"
"Ele- Eleanor Sutterlin. S- Sister Eleanor Su- Sutterlin." The woman's words hitched every time she tried to breathe, and she broke into a terrified sob once again. Her wimple fell out of her hair and into the fountain, resigning itself to float in the surprisingly deep water. "The Methuselah!" The terrified nun said again, grabbing onto Rose's armored wrists with a fearful urgency.
"I told'ja, AX is takin' care of it. You'll be alright. I know a guy; he's helpin' catch the Methuselah." The blonde's attempts to talk the woman down only seemed to wind her up further, and she looked almost wild as she surveyed the area and gasped in quick breaths. "Y'gotta calm down, Sister! Y'not doing y'self any favors by gettin' so worked up!" Rose freed her wrists from the woman's grasp, instead setting her tanned hands on her skirt and then setting her own gloved ones over them.
"It's coming for me," the Sister gasped. "I- I saw it kill two men in the rectory a- and I just barely escaped with m- with me life!" Large, fat tears dripped down the woman's face as she grasped at her skirt with her bare fingers. Her eyes shifted about the courtyard with all the grace of a trapped animal, watching the exits and not even trying to conceal the primal fear there. Rose's wide lips barely twitched downward in the tiniest of frowns, the Sister's words processing through her mind at a steady pace. Something seemed slightly off, something the Doctor had said…
"It didn't catch you?" Sister Sutterlin looked confused for a moment, completely taken-aback the next. She furrowed her dainty brow into a deep line, the fear still evident in her eyes even though she had begun to put what seemed to be a decently-advanced mind to work.
"I- I dunno," the nun said. She looked unsure as she spoke, her fingers again clenching into her skirt as she seemed to fight the urge to get up and run once again. "But does it matter? You've got to run! You and me both! He's coming for us!"
"M'new here, which way's the rectory?" The Sister's eyes got wide as Rose asked, but she pointed down the only other hallway that led into the open sunny courtyard. The blonde's dark eyebrows furrowed as Sister Sutterlin indicated the way, and her skirts swished about as she twisted to look the way the tanned woman had come. In a steady movement Rose stood, still leaning to hold on to the nun's ungloved hands. Her heavily makeup-adorned face was oddly serious, perhaps even a little sad as she looked Eleanor in the eyes.
"W- what's wrong?" Her dark eyes were wide with fear as she spoke, her lashes clumped into thick spikes by her frightened tears. The Sister grabbed at both of Rose's hands with her own, the movement desperate.
"I think there might be two Methuselah in the Vatican," Rose began. Sister Sutterlin made a strangled and frightened noise in the back of her throat, and Rose continued. "Y'gotta run an' go find someone from the Inquisition, Eleanor. I'm gon' go find the guards."
Rose stood up straight and turned, then. She barely registered the faintest flicker of sound as she did so, focused on her new revelation as she was. She considered it a credit to her past experiences that she didn't scream bloody murder when she nearly collided with the Sister she had just turned away from. Instead she backed up several steps, immediately on guard.
With what she really hoped wasn't her last thought, Rose momentarily agreed with the Doctor's calling her jeopardy-friendly.
"You're too smart for yer own good, girl." Eleanor's- she certainly wasn't a Sister and so it was a bit of a moot point to continue to call her one- voice was a rather cold one when not colored by hysterical fear. Incongruous with her Mediterranean features her voice was tinted with an Irish accent, but that really wasn't the most noticeable point about the suddenly very menacing tan woman in the white habit. No, the noticeable points were the massive claws that her fingers were elongating into, the tips and edges glinting in the courtyard light. "Good thing nobody will miss another dead nun. You're a dime a dozen in this infernal shithole."
"'s light out," Rose stated. The Methuselah paused, her fine eyebrows barely knitting together in the center of her brow for a moment. "'s light out, how are you still alive?" Eleanor answered the blond with a slash of her talons. Rose felt fabric rip and something snap in a rather ominous way, and she stumbled out of the way in fumbled movements until the backs of her legs hit the edge of the fountain that the tanned vampire had been sitting on not thirty seconds before. The sound of beads hitting marble reached her ears, but she was too busy trying to stop herself from toppling backwards into the somewhat grimy water behind her.
"Sunscreen," Eleanor answered dryly. In a flicker of movement that the blond just barely caught with her eyes, the tan woman was suddenly right in front of her. One clawed hand immediately had her by the neck, pushing her backwards over the water, while the other menaced her face in a way that reflected the manic glee on the Methuselah's face. "Now, Rose," she began, "what d'you say to the Santo Del Cattivo Lupo courtyard being yer final resting place?" The tight-lipped grin on the vampire's face curled back into a feral one, full of sharp teeth like that of a cat. "I'll be sure not to carve y'face up too badly. They'll no doubt need something to identify the body with."
"I'd say I don't die in battle that easily!" With a sudden motion and a rather fearsome yell, Rose grabbed the Methuselah by both wrists and tucked a leg up and under the woman's torso in order to flip her over her head and into the dirty water of the fountain. She unfortunately miscalculated the amount of force she needed, however, and went toppling in backwards herself.
"What d'you think that was, stupid human? Methuselah don't melt in water!" Eleanor, sopping wet, was the first to her feet in the nearly thigh-deep water. She pulled a lily pad from her hair and flung it away with a good amount of vehemence. With her claws she tore at the skirt that clung to her every curve, discarding blue lace and stained white fabric with abandon in order to free up her legs.
"That was one'a the perks of bein' jeopardy-friendly! Y' get taught a little Venusian Aikido." Rose struggled to her own feet, pulling at the weeds and other foliage that had attached themselves to the multitude of silver arrows and pieces of armor that adorned her habit. Her wimple was gone, resting somewhere in the bottom of the fountain. Eleanor began stalking her way towards the blond, weeds and grime trailing after her. "An', you know, vampires don't melt in water." The Methuselah paused at the look of smug triumph on the London girl's face, her clawed hands faltering for a moment. She opened her mouth to insult the girl for parroting her, but the words were cut off. "But sunscreen does."
In what was probably the most amazing example of divine coincidence Rose Tyler had experienced in a good month and a half, the sun chose that moment to come out from behind a small wisp of cloud. The already rather bright Santo Del Cattivo Lupo courtyard seemed to burst into life, flowers and vines reflecting brilliant light in an impressive display of color and beauty. Eleanor screamed, grasping at her face as smoke seemed to rise from her skin, before she burst into flames with a keening shriek and collapsed into the fountain. Rose, pulling vines and lily pads from her person as she went, climbed out of the fountain to make a large puddle on the decorative marble courtyard floor. She threw the last lily pad to the ground at her feet as the sounds of running feet reached her ears.
"Rose!" Before the blond could comprehend what was going on she was being hugged by someone who smelled quite a bit like they had just been blown up. She pushed at the chest of the Time Lord holding her, trying to get him to stop squeezing so tight. The bits and pieces of armor at his neck and all over the rest of him were digging into her chest in a way that was rather uncomfortable. "Rose, you're sopping wet." Rose looked up at the Doctor with a somewhat dark expression, though it really didn't do much to counteract the cheeky grin that he was still giving her.
"I threw a Methuselah into a fountain t' melt her sunscreen an' accidentally threw m'self in too. Thanks for showin' up and savin' me, by the way." Irked though it was the explanation was enough for the Doctor. He immediately held his companion out at arm's length to survey the condition she had managed to get herself into, ignoring her slightly miffed remark. Her white habit was now a dirty khaki shade with interspersed green bits, her rosary was completely missing- that was all over the courtyard floor, though, and was therefore a lost cause- her wimple was gone and her makeup was smudged. The front chest area of her habit was also ripped wide open, along with the front of her bra. Oh.
The Doctor immediately pulled what remained of his rather burnt cloak from his shoulders and wrapped Rose in it until she looked very much like a soot-covered Eskimo.
-/-
So the next chapter isn't done. That's actually a really big problem, such as it was. So I'm going to wait until it is to post this, and then I'll make you wait for that one too. My problem at the moment is that I don't much like Ten. I like Nine, Eight and Eleven more than I like Ten. HENCE THE PROBLEM, SINCE THIS IS KIND OF ABOUT TEN AND ROSE, YANNO.
There might be a sequel to this involving the Pope, Rose, Ten and a great big forest spirit named Totoro. Or maybe Venice and a bloke named Casanova, I'm not sure yet. Things don't always happen in the right order.
-Richie
